


The Gordian Knot

by shrimpette



Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Awkward Kissing, Awkward Sexual Situations, Crossdressing, It becomes pretty angsty, Itachi is dead for plot reasons, M/M, Naruto is a best man for hire, PFFT, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties, Wedding Ringer x Naruto crossover, and unplesant, arranged SS wedding, awkward family meetings, thank you for the ride, we're nearing the end guys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2018-12-22 11:52:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 156,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11966829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrimpette/pseuds/shrimpette
Summary: Naruto is a best man for hire, and this is exactly what Sasuke needs. Right this instant. He simply doesn't know yet that he needs Naruto more than he needs a best man.





	1. Chapter 1

Sasuke couldn't care less about his upcoming wedding. He was supposed to marry Sakura Haruno. He wasn't madly in love with her, really, he wasn't in love with her at _all_ , but their families considered this union a good business deal, and she was delighted, and he wasn't opposed.

That was true until he realized that his wife-to-be expected actual _romance_. Unfortunately, by that point it was too late for second thoughts since he would've disappointed his father, and his father being disappointed with him would be his worst nightmare coming true. So he relented. His assistant, Karin, was burdened with finding proper locations and activities, and Sasuke hid his lack of enthusiasm and partook in _dating_. He's always considered it a waste of time but it turned out it was simply yet another business skill he had to master. And so he did. His secretary stalked Sakura's social medias, and suggested best gifts to shower his fiancee with. So far, she’s been amazed.

Sasuke was actually surprised since Karin was hiding neither her hate (unfounded) towards his fiancée nor her infatuation (also unfounded) with him. Perhaps, on the subconscious level he hoped Karin would screw it up for him, so he wouldn't have to feel _responsible_ for being a disappointment. Anyhow, Karin was good at romance, and Sasuke was good at pretending it was genuine.

Sakura was probably pretending as well. She liked flaunting their _relationship_ on her Instagram and Facebook, just like she liked posting pictures of expensive coffees and her work out routines. It wasn’t that she was shallow—at least not so much—she had a degree in pharmacy, and, apparently, was brilliant since she was managing some of the more important projects in her family's company but, still, the majority of her free time was being taken up by trying to impress her followers and subscribers, and fans. Not that Sasuke really minded. Doing things that would impress them was much easier than _actually_ trying to romance someone.

And she was usually doing all the talking, and when she wasn't, she was glued to her phone, so Sasuke was actually able to focus on his work. And this was fine.

 _Was_. Until Sakura decided that she wanted to meet his friends. Sasuke didn't have any _friends_ , he didn't have time for _friends_. Still, she knew him as a charming young man, and charming young men _had_ friends.

Somehow, he was able to distract her with a romantic gateway to a rustic winery.

It didn't work for too long. She wanted to meet his friends again. And then she asked to meet his best man.

And Sasuke didn't _have_ a best man. He would've asked Itachi to do the honors but his brother died two years ago. And Sasuke had no-one ever since.

„You've already met my bridesmaid,” she pouted. He did meet Ino. She too was a social media celebrity, and she had even more followers than Sakura, what resulted in them fighting. „We're getting married in a month, and I don't even know who it'll be,” she complained. Actually, it was the first time she's asked about the best man. Before, it was all about cakes, desserts, salad dressings and other things Sasuke didn't care about.

„He's busy,” he replied. _He doesn't exist_ , he thought. He made a mental note to contact Karin and tell her to find him someone to fill the role. It would be just one more thing he'd be faking.

„You've never introduced me to your friends,” Sakura mumbled out. „Are you ashamed of me?”

„No, of course not,” he assured her. He couldn't just tell her _I don’t have any friends_. „You'll meet them, I promise. I'm afraid all of my friends are workaholics, just like me,” he tried to distract her with a weak, weak, _weak_ joke.

„You're simply ambitious and dedicated,” she disagreed with him, and smooched him on the lips. He returned the kiss, methodologically, remembering to brush against the left corner of her mouth. They didn't have sex yet. Sasuke was terrified of it, he's never had any sexual relationship with _anyone_ , and he had to _impress_ Sakura. So he was pulling it off for as long, as he could, and as long, as he could was for after the wedding. He sighed internally. This was one thing Karin couldn't do for him. Well, at least he could prepare in advance, read up on the subject, watch some movies (was there an instructional video for sex?), and perhaps buy something to ensure he'd get an erection since he _wasn't_ attracted to Sakura.

He generally wasn't attracted to women. He'd find a man attractive every once in a while but he didn't have time for this, and he didn't have time for dealing with this whole _I'm gay_ issue since (for whatever reason) gay people were expected to announce their sexuality to their family and friends, and he didn't feel like doing anything of the sort.

Sakura looked at him expectantly, so Sasuke sent her a smile and apologized for not listening to her, and asked her to repeat the question.

“I need to meet him before the wedding,” she voiced her demand. He agreed. He had no other choice.

* * *

“Karin, good job at the meeting,” Sasuke said. He was on the way to his office, and she was heavily blushing. She was also looking away from him, and wearing a nasty frown on her face. He _knew_ she had a crush on him, so there was no reason for her to pretend she _didn't_ but, to be honest, it didn't _really_ bother him. She was the best assistant he's ever had. “I need a best man for the wedding,” he informed her. “And some friends. Sakura wants to meet them.”

“Excuse—,” she stopped herself from saying more. Sasuke was well aware of how bizarre of a request it was, so he wouldn't mind it if she did comment on it but he was nevertheless grateful that she _didn't_. “When?” she asked instead.

“As soon as possible,” he replied.

“I'll schedule a meeting with my cousin,” she informed him. “You have a window open tomorrow at two pm. Or am I wrong?”

“Two pm is okay with me,” he assured her. “Your cousin?” he inquired. He wouldn't call himself a snob but Sakura _was_ snobbish. Karin was a highly trained specialist, she was up for promotion sometime soon (and Sasuke was already mourning this loss), and, to be absolutely honest, he would much rather marry Karin than Sakura, there was far less pretending with Karin, Karin knew _him_ , and she liked _him_. Sakura was in love with her projection of him. Unfortunately, despite all of Karin's good qualities, she wasn’t the right person to show off on Instagram.

“He's a best man for hire,” she explained. “He’ll be whoever you want him to be. I think he'll also be able to find you some friends.”

“Alright,” he agreed, somewhat assured. “Tomorrow at 2 pm then.”

* * *

Naruto yawned, sitting in a rather expensive restaurant, waiting for his cousin’s boss to arrive. He looked around. He's already ordered a coffee, and while it cost more than the coffee he was usually drinking, it _definitely_ wasn’t worth its price. He was guessing it was all for show. He made his living by doing things for show so he didn't really mind it.

He straightened up when he noticed a man heading right towards his table. He looked as if he was around his age. And as if someone shoved a stick so far up his ass that there was no hope of ever pulling it out without a professional excavation team. Most of his clients were like this. The only thing distinguishing this one from the rest was the fact that he was actually handsome. Like, he was _born_ handsome, he wasn't just _made out_ to look handsome (honestly, having money helped in looking good).

“I hope I didn't keep you waiting,” the man said, taking a seat opposite from Naruto. “I'm Sasuke Uchiha, I believe my assistant has already informed you of my situation,” he added before Naruto could answer that _no, you came_ _right on time, I was early_.

“Yeah, she did,” he replied. “You want to hire me as your best man. And you need some fake friends.”

“Exactly,” the brunette said. Most of Naruto's clients were ashamed of being lonely but this one looked like he didn't really care. He probably _didn't_ really care about what Naruto thought of him. And he wasn't even trying to explain _why_ he was lonely. Most of Naruto’s clients did. They would say they were too busy with work or that they had been living abroad, or whatever else. This one didn't. He probably believed it was none of Naruto's business. Well. He could deal with that.

“What exactly do you need?”

“My fiancée will want to meet you and them. I want her to like you,” he answered. “And you need to look as if you belonged to my social circle,” he added. Naruto mentally rolled his eyes.

“Sure, I _can_ be boring,” he chirped. The other man raised his eyebrows in a mild surprise but that was all the reaction Naruto got from him. “If you _are_ going to hire me, we will need to meet for longer than just one hour,” he said. “We’ll need to prepare a convincing lie—“

“Talk this through with Karin, she knows me well enough,” the brunette interrupted him.

“This isn't how this works,” Naruto protested. “I _need_ to be convincing. I _need_ to get to know you. And we _need_ to get used to each other company,” he explained. The brunette merely frowned. _Well, it's not like I_ want _to_ _get to know you_. “Look, Sasuke,” he sighed. The man tilted his head. So he wasn't used to being referred to by his first name by strangers. Pompous asshole. “Neither of us wants _this_ to come to the light of day. Unfortunately for me, with _you_ being a part of this, it would become a scandal, this would make my future work _really_ difficult, and I need my job,” he said. “So. You're going to spend one evening with me, and later on you'll have to spend another one with me and your _new friends_. These are my terms. I know you'll find this surprising but I’m in high demand. I agreed to doing this mostly because my cousin asked me to,” he barked. The brunette frowned at him and massaged his temples with straightened fingers. “How will it be?”

“Fine,” the man sighed. “But I want to get this over with by the end of the week,” he hissed.

“This can be arranged,” Naruto agreed.

* * *

 

Sasuke let out a tired sigh, resting his back against a couch. That man insisted he _needed_ to come to his house because this would make getting to know him easier. Sasuke didn't like having people in his flat. He liked living alone. He wasn't used to having guests. And he definitely didn't like the idea of letting a stranger into his life.

The only reason he even agreed to it was that he trusted Karin. Oh, and he had _no other choice._

He groaned and massaged his temples. He's told his fiancée that his _best friend_ finally came to the city, and she obviously wanted to meet him but Sasuke somehow managed to convince her they needed some _guys time_. Whatever it meant.

The entry phone rang, so he got up to let the man in, and waited near the doors until he finally came in.

“Hey,” the blonde greeted him and walked in despite _not_ hearing an invitation. “Nice flat,” he commented after looking around.

“Thank you,” Sasuke replied. The blonde shoved a plastic bag into his hands. Sasuke looked into it. Alcohol. Some beers, booze and some juice. He let out yet another sigh.

“I thought you might need this to relax,” the man chirped and walked towards a wall adorned with pictures. “I guess this is your family,” he said, pointing at a photo. Sasuke nodded. “Before we start,” the blonde murmured, “let’s get one thing straight. We’re _not_ friends, we’re _not_ going to become friends,” he announced. “This is just business, and you're _only_ my client. You're paying me, and I'm _pretending_ to be your friend. None of it is real, none of it _will_ become real. Are we clear?”

“Of course,” Sasuke replied, feeling somewhat offended. On one hand, if the blonde was able to make his _clients_ believe their friendship was real, he could probably fool their families as well but, on the other hand, Sasuke couldn't help but feel annoyed. He _wasn't_ looking for friends. And even if he was, befriending this guy was beyond stupid. He was like an escort. He'd say _anything_ to get paid.

“Sasuke, if you _ever_ think that perhaps we’re _real friends_ , please, remember that we're _not_ ,” the blonde insisted. Sasuke rolled his eyes and glared at the ceiling. “I'm serious,” the man barked.

“Believe me, there's no way I’d ever want to have _you_ as my friend,” Sasuke assured him with a sigh. “Let's get this over with.”

“Okay,” the man huffed. “So, your family,” he started. “I guess this is your dad,” he said, pointing at Sasuke's father and leaving oily fingerprints all over the picture. Sasuke frowned at this and made a mental note to wipe _everything_ the blonde was touching after he'd leave. 

“You're correct,” he admitted. “What of it?”

“What's your relationship like?”

“He's strict and rather distant,” Sasuke replied. “He treats me more like an employee than a son but he's a good, respectable man. I've been trying to impress him my whole life.”

The blonde shot him a surprised look. “Hey, you’re pretty sincere,” he commented. “Well, it'll just make everything easier.”

“There's no point in lying to you,” Sasuke pointed out.

“Huh, yeah, you're right,” the man mumbled out. “But people are usually more secretive—“

“I _do_ value my privacy,” Sasuke interrupted him. “I'm _not_ a sharing kind of person. But this too will make your job easier. Nobody will wonder why this is the first time they see you.”

“I guess,” the blonde agreed. “So, your mother. This is her, right?”

Sasuke nodded.

“You took after her,” the man smiled. “What is she like?”

“She's,” Sasuke paused and breathed in. He loved his mother, he loved her a lot. “We're close,” he answered.

“Ah, so you’re momma's boy,” the blonde laughed.

“Some people could see it this way but I don't think I'm _momma's boy_ ,” Sasuke hissed. “My mother is simply more… _approachable_ than my father,” he explained. “You don't have to know too much about my family, I wouldn't tell you anything anyways,” he sighed.

“Don’t tell me how to do _my_ job,” the blonde barked back. “You've hired me because I'm _the best_ , and there's a reason why I'm—“

“I've hired you because Karin suggested you, and I don’t have time to be picky,” Sasuke disagreed.

“She doesn’t like me,” the man snorted. “Believe me, it's _not_ nepotism. If she could, she would've suggested somebody else but, apparently, her loyalty to you is greater than her dislike towards me. This too tells me a lot. Especially since _I_ actually _do_ like her.”

“I really don't care,” Sasuke replied. The blonde was tiring. Getting married was tiring. He'd much rather go to sleep. But he couldn't, so he fished into the bag and took out a beer.

“I've bought _fancier_ things,” the other man noticed. “Hell, I've bought fancier _beers_ ,” he snorted. “Are you too annoyed to be picky or am I simply too unimportant to try to impress me with your superior taste?”

“What?” Sasuke barked.

“That restaurant we've met in for the first time,” the blonde started to explain, “it's one of the fashionable ones but the food there isn't really _good_ , and I think anyone with working taste buds knows this,” he said. “Scheduling a meeting in a restaurant you've never tried isn't a good business practice, so that was to impress me—“

“Do you _really_ think I have time to worry about something this irrelevant? Karin chose it,” Sasuke interrupted him with a heavy sigh. The guy was an idiot. A fucking idiot. A fucking idiot, who watched too much Sherlock and now thought himself to be smart. The worst kind of a fucking idiot. Sasuke swallowed a curse. He should've known something was wrong when the guy admitted that Karin didn't like him. Of course she fucking didn't. He was obnoxious. “Are you going to be this annoying around my family?”

“No, you wanted me to be boring so I _will_ be boring,” the blonde growled back. “But I have no reason to spare you,” he smiled. “Tell me more about your mother.”

Sasuke refrained himself from rolling his eyes. “She's an interior designer by trade but it's more of a hobby than an actual job,” he muttered. “Her family is rich, and she owns a few companies. My father made these companies into his own empire,” he sighed, making a quotation marks with his fingers, very well aware of how ridiculous he sounded, “she's rather traditional but not exactly conservative,” he said. “Everyone likes her.”

“Ah, so you're nothing like her,” the blonde whispered.

“Fuck you,” Sasuke hissed. “I'm paying you—“

“To pretend to be your friend in front of your family,” the man finished his sentence. “You're _not_ paying me to be nice to you,” he pointed out. “Besides, bickering is something most friends do. You should get used to it,” he concluded.

“Let me guess, you've started this _business_ ,” Sasuke hissed, once again making quotation marks with his fingers because _really_ , calling this thing the blonde was doing a business was an overreach, “because you yourself don't have any friends. You probably have _no_ idea why but it's just because you have a shitty personality.”

* * *

Naruto glared at his client. The asshole was right. Naruto didn't have any friends, there were just _people he knew_ , and he knew a lot of people but if he himself was about to get married, asking any of them to become _his_ best man would've been… embarrassing. He might've as well asked that guy working in the grocery shop near his apartment block, _this_ was how far Naruto's relationships went.

Nevertheless, there was no reason to admit it to the smug jerk. For a short while he considered dropping this job because he _knew_ that Sasuke's wife to be was oversharing when it came to her personal life, and so it would complicate his business _a lot_. She _was_ going to post a picture of him, and so for his next jobs, he'd have to take it into consideration. He hoped she wouldn't write his name anywhere. Unfortunately, Karin decided to contact Naruto through his mother. Just to make sure he had no way of saying _no_. She played the family card, and Naruto's mother would've never forgiven him if he refused.

“Nope, I just have a soft spot for socially awkward losers like you,” Naruto chirped, gaining himself another tired sigh. There were days, when he liked his job. There were clients, who were genuinely likeable. Sasuke wasn't likeable, and he made Naruto hate his job within less than two hours.

It was going to _suck._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in June, and back then I decided it was too silly to post it but today, when I hit a wall with the next chapter to offside trap (ye, ye, it'll come out this weekend, don't worry, I just need to change the scenery for a little bit), I decided it was kind of funny so... :'D here you go. It'll have 5 chapters tops. Nothing too profound, just your basic 
> 
> ohoho you're so annoying  
> no you're annoying  
> but we kind of understand each other  
> ye
> 
> so
> 
> enjoy (I hope)
> 
> Offside Trap is still my no.1 priority right now but we're nearing the end in there, and this thing will be updated once every two weeks or so. Unless you absolutely hate it, in which case I guess it won't get updated pfft :D <\--and then I updated one day later because I'm a pathological liar, and me saying that I'm lying is the only time when I'm not lying pfft
> 
> I'll try to ignore every opportunity to make this more dramatic than it needs to be, I swear :'D
> 
> ^ LIES.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ƪ(‾ε‾“)ʃ

Sasuke glared at the moron, who approached yet another picture.

“Aaaand this guy must be your brother,” Naruto sighed, taking a step back and studying the photo. Sasuke had removed most of Itachi’s photos from the wall, this one was the only one that stayed. His immediate family was on it. He couldn't bring himself to take it down and pretend that Itachi's never existed but seeing him everyday and remembering that his brother wasn’t _there_ anymore… hurt. “If you have a brother and still need to hire me, I guess you have some kind of beef with him—”

“He's dead,” Sasuke interrupted the idiot. Karin has been his assistant for just five months, and he's never told her about Itachi. He generally stopped mentioning him. This was the first time he regretted this policy.

“…sorry,” the blonde mumbled out. He actually _looked_ sorry. Not that it meant anything. “So what kind of person was he—”

“Next question,” Sasuke barked, taking a sip of beer from the bottle. He saw the idiot open his mouth again. “ _Next question_ ,” he repeated.

“…I guess we'll come back to this one later,” Naruto relented. “I didn't attend his funeral so—”

“ _Next question_ ,” Sasuke snapped, put the bottle away on his coffee table, leaned back on the couch, and glared at the ceiling, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“ _Alright_ ,” the blonde sighed. “Ex-girlfriends—”

“There are none,” Sasuke answered before he heard the rest of the question.

“Ex- _boyfriends_ —”

“None,” Sasuke hissed.

“Why?” Naruto blurted out.

“I've never been interested in having any exes,” Sasuke muttered. Naruto was insolent, picking at his life as if it was a juicy piece of meat.

“Having exes isn't the goal people have in mind when they start to date someone,” Naruto stated in a lecturing tone. “So you've never dated anyone because you thought it would leave you heartbroken—”

“No, I simply considered it a waste of my time,” Sasuke corrected him. “Stop assuming things, you suck at it.”

“So you’re completely uninterested in dating,” Naruto said, ignoring Sasuke's latest remark. Sasuke groaned and shrugged his shoulders.

“I didn't have time for it, I'm a busy man,” he sighed, and downed the bottle.

* * *

 

“But then _Sakura_ happened,” Naruto chirped. He _knew_ Sakura. He was one of her followers on Twitter. And he was kind of crushing on her. She looked amazing, and sounded like a fun person to be around. A complete opposite of this jerk. “And you started dating around three months ago,” Naruto continued. Sakura’s posted a few pictures of Sasuke and hers. In the pictures Sasuke was _smiling_. It didn't look like a sincere smile but not too many people knew how to smile genuinely for photos, and he was suspecting that Sasuke generally had no idea how to smile. “You're getting married in a month so I guess you must've fallen _hard_ for her,” he chuckled.

“It’s an arranged marriage,” Sasuke informed him. Naruto frowned. Well, this sounded just _sad_. His other clients were loaded too but none of them was as loaded as Sasuke. Perhaps this was how life looked like for—

Nah, Sakura was loaded too, and she definitely wasn't so stuck up or sad. This was just a Sasuke thing.

“Well, she's one brave woman,” Naruto replied.

“What?” the brunette mumbled out.

“She's marrying _you_ ,” Naruto pointed out. “Okay, so Sakura is the first one you've ever _dated_. What about one night stands?”

“I've just told you I didn't have time for any of this bullshit,” Sasuke sighed, massaging his temples. Then he leaned forward, and took out the bottle of booze out of the bag. “Do you drink at work?”

“Of course I do,” Naruto snorted. “Wait here, I'll get some glasses and—”

“Sit on your ass, you're not going through any of my stuff,” Sasuke breathed out and rose from the couch. Naruto watched him leave the living room. Then he rolled his eyes, and decided to follow after the asshole anyways. “Are you always this bad at following simple commands?”

“Nope, just the stupid ones,” Naruto answered. “I'm supposed to pretend I'm your _friend_ ,” he reminded the other man. “I get it that you're secretive or whatever but you need to pretend you're my friend _too_ ,” he added.

“Ice is in the second drawer, glasses are in an upper cupboard, the first one on the left from the sink,” Sasuke said, sounding as if he gave up on life, and sitting by his kitchen island. “Make it a strong one,” he ordered. “I don't usually drink, I don't—”

“Have time for any of this bullshit,” Naruto chimed in. “See, I already finish your sentences,” he cooed. “A few more hours and I’ll know you better than your fiancee,” he murmured. Then he jerked up because he could _swear_ that he heard Sasuke snort.

“You already know more than her,” the man sighed.

“I’ll be asked to share some anecdotes,” Naruto said. “Your family will want to know _where_ we've met, why we're friends, and so on, and so on. They'll just try to be nice and talk to me, so I don't feel left out but,” he paused, pouring them both a drink, “I need to be believable.”

“Tell them we've met at the university,” Sasuke suggested, and gave the man the name of his alma mater. He's studied far away from home. Too far away to have any friends come and visit him. “This tastes like scorpion vomit,” he complained after taking a sip.

“You wanted it to be strong,” Naruto replied.

“Our definitions of _strong_ are different,” Sasuke sighed, taking another gulp and frowning. He rolled up the sleeves of his button up, catching Naruto stealing a glance at him. He raised his eyebrow in a mute question.

“Most of my clients overdress when I come to them for the first time,” the blonde explained. “Usually they change into t-shirts by our second meeting. I wonder if it'll be so easy with you,” he said, sitting next to Sasuke, and resting his head on his hand. “To be honest, I wonder if you even _own_ any t-shirts—”

“Everyone does,” Sasuke replied.

“One of my previous clients brought a lawyer to his first meeting with me. I doubt _he_ owned any t-shirts,” Naruto chuckled. “I didn't accept the job, of course. I've had some influential clients, I can't put them at risk like this. The only people, who can know that _this_ is just a lie are me and the husband to be.”

“Karin knows,” Sasuke pointed out. His glass was already almost half empty.

“Karin knew _before_ ,” Naruto sighed. He couldn’t say that there was no way he could refuse her request.

“Since we’re talking about lawyers, I've read your contract,” Sasuke stated, making quotation marks with his fingers when the word _contract_ left his lips. He did that a lot. “It says that you're pretending to be my friend prior to the wedding, and that I have a priority over your other clients until the _big night_ ,” he said. _The big night_ was taken straight out of the contract. It wasn't the official one, of course. The official one, the one they signed didn't mention being a best man. It was as generic as it could get. Another safety precaution.

“You should get rid of it, your wife might find it,” Naruto advised the jerk. Normally, the unofficial contract was just for reading, not for keeping. This job, however, wasn’t _normal_.

“What happens _after_ the wedding?” Sasuke inquired, ignoring Naruto’s comment.

“If you need me to come and show up again, you can always give me a call, and we'll try to arrange something,” the blonde answered. “So yes, it is possible to hire me for a baby shower or—”

“I don't plan to have any children,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“It's not like planning will stop them from being conceived,” Naruto chirped back. Sasuke merely shook his head. “Are you infertile or—”

“I doubt it,” Sasuke hissed in an icy tone.

“Then why?” Naruto inquired. “Does Sakura know that?”

“She doesn't,” Sasuke confessed. “I don't like kids.”

“You can always be a distant father,” Naruto suggested. “Besides, maybe you'll change your mind. Or you'll have to accept it when it happens.”

“It won't happen,” Sasuke sighed.

“You can't control everything—”

“You're supposed to learn things about me, not have a heart to heart talk with me,” the jerk scolded him, putting his empty glass away. Naruto breathed in. Getting the bastard to relax was impossible.

“Why haven't I come to your brother’s funeral?” Naruto asked. Sasuke gave him an angry look before pouring himself another drink. The proportions seemed to be exactly like in the one Naruto's made him.

“Because I haven't told you that he died,” Sasuke grunted, glaring at the contents of his glass.“It happened two years ago,” he added, taking a sip and frowning. Naruto nodded. It seemed that Sasuke still hasn't dealt with it. “You'll say you've learned about his death _today_.”

“Alright,” the blonde relented. “What were you studying? What was my major?”

Three hours later Sasuke was positively trashed, and Naruto knew his opinion about politics (more or less liberal), weather (preference for temperate climate, but if he had to choose between hot and cold, he would've chosen cold because he was usually feeling hot), colors (boring), sports (martial arts and archery, he was actually training and apparently even won some medals; he also hated team sports and didn't understand the concept of watching someone else play; and he liked sailing because he loved wind but he didn't have enough time to actually enjoy it), cinema (no time to watch anything recent, he'd sometimes launch his TV and have something play in the background but he wasn't _really_ watching it; he's seen almost everything that was considered a classic and didn't like most of it but he admitted to _kind of_ liking the Matrix. Naruto translated it to _really_ liking the Matrix since Sasuke kept babbling about simulacra, and mentioned some French dude, and then got annoyed when Naruto had no idea who it was), music (he listened to the exact same things his mother listened to, and she listened to things that were popular when she was young), games (never tried playing, was ready to offend people who did play). He also knew Sasuke’s favorite childhood toy (a bow. An actual bow), preferred underwear (boxer briefs, dark colors), date of birth (23 rd of July), his parents' names (Mikoto and Fugaku), how his parents met (in college, it was kind of a misalliancebut his mother's family fully accepted Fugaku because he was brilliant and was seen as a good investment), and many other things that could come in handy.

“You should take a break,” Naruto murmured, unwrapping Sasuke’s fingers from the almost empty bottle. He jerked up when he heard the entry phone ring. “You’re expecting someone?”

“What? _No_ ,” Sasuke replied, moving to stand up and answer it. Naruto grabbed his arm, stopping him in half a motion. Sasuke drank at least twice as much as he did.

“Change into something normal, people _don't_ dress like this when they're expecting their _friends_ to come over,” he ordered. Sasuke tilted his head but eventually rolled his eyes and nodded in agreement. “I'll answer it,” Naruto sighed, moving towards the entry phone. “Uchiha residence, how can I help you?”

“Oh my gosh, are you Naruto?”

The blonde made a face, realizing that the jerk used his real name when introducing him to his fiancee. This sucked. Seriously sucked.

“And you must be the unlucky lady,” he chirped into the phone, pressing the button to let her in. It wasn't _perfect_ but it's happened before. Usually, the fiancées would just _call_ their future husbands to ask about the meeting but some just _had to_ crash it.Naruto slapped his cheek to give himself courage, and trudged towards the room Sasuke's disappeared into. “It’s Sakura,” he murmured, opening the doors. “Are you for real?” he demanded to know, seeing Sasuke standing in the wardrobe in just some dark blue jeans, and flipping through some t-shirts as if he had all the time in the world. Naruto rubbed his face, forcing himself to focus on the fact that Sasuke _still_ wasn't fully dressed, and not on the _wasn’t fully dressed_ part.

“Sakura's here?” Sasuke asked in a panicked tone, grabbing some random shirt from the floor and putting it on. It was somewhat loose, black and had a white drawing of some kind of bird of prey on it. “You need to _leave_ ,” he insisted.

“Relax, it's happened before,” Naruto whispered. “I'll make it work,” he promised. “ _This_ is what you're paying me for. It'll be weird if I leave the moment she comes here,” he added, grabbing and squeezing the man's shoulder to give him _some_ assurance. “I know you haven't taken any acting classes because you consider it a waste of time,” he stated with a smile, “but in improvisation the most important rule is to never say _no_. This word doesn't exist, okay, Sasuke? If I say something that doesn't completely go with the facts or whatever, you _don’t_ say that it's never happened, you just say something to make it work,” he ordered in a hushed voice. “So if I say that we flew to Egypt every week—”

“Don’t say anything stupid like _this_ ,” Sasuke half hissed, half slurred at him.

“It's just an example,” Naruto assured the man. “So if I _did_ say it, and you're terrified of flying, you say that one of these flights is the reason you're terrified of flying. You have to let the story go,” he insisted. “I won't be saying anything crazy or weird,” he promised. “It'll be minor, minor details. So focus and work with me,” he whispered. Sasuke nodded in agreement, looking as if he was a doe that was about to become a roadkill but there was no more time to calm him down because the doorbell ring cut through the air. “You're kind of wasted right now, so just try to relax and follow my lead,” Naruto murmured, leading the man out of the wardrobe. “Sit on the couch, I'll open her and let her in,” he ordered, pushing Sasuke onto the soft pillows. Naruto plastered his best relaxed I'm-kind-of-drunk smile on his face, and unlocked the doors to see Sakura.

The moment he opened the doors, he was hit with fresh, juicy smell of sour cherries.Her hair were the color of the bubblegum, and she was wearing all these mismatched clothes that made street fashion an actual style but Naruto _knew_ that they all cost way too much to really call it street fashion. Still, she looked amazing. He was genuinely envious of Sasuke.

“Hey,” he greeted her, sounding calm and cheery. “Sorry, I kind of got him drunk,” he snorted, letting her in and leading her into the living room, so she could see her future husband, who was currently sprawled on the couch _just like Naruto's left him_. “It's great to finally meet the woman, who melted his little Grinch heart,” he joked, touching her shoulder. Physical contact was important. It made people believe you were closer to them than in reality.

“Oh, it's great to see you too,” Sakura replied, gave Naruto a short hug, and sat next to her fiancé, rubbing his knee in a soothing manner. Sasuke looked absolutely terrified. Nothing how a man, who's spending time with his best friend and fiancee, should look like.

“Wait, wait, wait, this looks bad,” Naruto blurted out, grabbing Sasuke and forcing him to stand up. “You look like you're about to puke, Sasuke,” he said, trying to make himself sound panicked. “Try to hold it in until we reach the bathroom, okay?”

“Nar—,” Sasuke breathed out before he covered his mouth, and let Naruto lead him out. Well. Sasuke sucked at it. Perhaps it was a good thing that he was this drunk. Unfortunately, Sakura followed after them.

“Let's put him to sleep,” she suggested. “And if you’re still feeling good, we can continue the party,” she offered with a smile.

“It's a great idea,” he agreed, shoving the brunette into the bathroom, walking right after him, and locking the bathroom doors after them. Then he got so close to Sasuke that when he was moving his lips, they were brushing against Sasuke’s ear. Sasuke smelled of… Naruto had no idea what exactly it was but he knew he _liked_ the scent. “Sasuke, either throw up or make some hurling noises,” he pleaded in a hushed tone, simultaneously turning on the tap to muffle out any sounds. “I'll get you to the bedroom, and then I'll talk with your fiancee. Don't worry, I'll ask her about the wedding, and pretend I care about the cake flavors,” he promised.

“I'm _not_ leaving you alone with her,” Sasuke snarled.

“Then you need to look more convincing,” Naruto sighed. “Use my name more. And stop looking terrified—”

“I'm _not_ terrified,” Sasuke protested, rubbing his forehead with straightened fingers.

“You _are_ ,” Naruto disagreed. “Don’t worry, it's natural. We've just met, and a lot depends on her believing we've known each other for years,” he whispered. “And while I know a lot about you, we haven't discussed _my_ persona too much. I just know what we've studied,” he continued. “Is there something else you've told her about me?”

“I don't think so,” Sasukesighed.

“Pretend you're throwing up or at least heaving,” Naruto ordered him. Sasuke turned his head to glare daggers at him before following the order.

“Is everything okay?” Sakura asked from beyond the doors with a soft knock.

“Yeah, don't worry, it's not the first time I'm doing this,” Naruto snorted in reply. “Now wash your face and brush your teeth, and for the love of gods—chill out. I've got this,” he told Sasuke in a much softer tone.

“She thinks I'm _nice_ ,” Sasuke breathed out.

“Wow, okay, sure,” Naruto chuckled. “So you're pretending to be a charming young man, and I'm your boring friend,” he whispered. “You've got this drunk today because we were talking about your brother,” he said. “Don't say it straight, just _insinuate_ it.”

“I got drunk because I can't stand you when I'm sober,” Sasuke disagreed with a heavy sigh, splashing his face with cold water and getting his fringe damp in the process.

“Sasuke, when we leave this room, we become best of friends. You _like_ me,” the blonde lectured his client with a quiet laugh. “I _can_ pretend that you're lovely, and I count on you to do the same for me.”

Sasuke took a deep breath, studying Naruto’s face as if it was the first time he's ever seen it. Then he shook his head, rubbed his cheeks, and _finally_ gave him a nod. Naruto sent his client a reassuring smile, and opened the doors. Sakura immediately stood by Sasuke’s side, offering him her shoulder. “I'll stay with you,” Sasuke whispered. “I'm feeling better now—”

“Okay honey,” Sakura replied. Naruto smiled at the woman, and grabbed Sasuke’s other arm, so they could both lead her future husband to the living room couch, where they dropped him in the middle, and sat on both of his sides. “You should call your secretary—”

“Karin, my assistant,” Sasuke corrected her.

“Your _assistant_ ,” Sakura relented, her smile turning into a frown for a split second. Naruto chose to ignore it even though he couldn't help but wonder if Sasuke and Karin weren't closer than Sakura would've liked. “And tell her you'll miss work tomorrow—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke protested. “I'll be there in the morning. There’s no need to bother her.”

“If you say so,” his fiancee sighed. “So what were you up to?”

“We were doing some catching up,” Naruto replied in Sasuke’s stead, casting one quick glance at Sasuke's face, and then another at the Itachi picture. “It's not exactly the first time I see him wasted but it sure is a rare sight,” he chuckled.

“Ah, yes, he's usually so cool and collected,” Sakura agreed, rubbing her fiancé's arm. “Why haven't I seen you before?”

“We were both busy,” he answered. “But at least I learned about your wedding from him, and not from your Twitter update,” he chuckled, trying to change the subject. Judging from how Sakura brightened up, it worked.

“Oh my gosh, you’re following me on Twitter?!” she asked. “You need to give me your nick, so I can follow you too,” she insisted. Naruto smiled at that. At least he came prepared, having had deleted almost all of his status updates and photos.

“I don't post too regularly, so there’s not much to see but sure,” he agreed, giving her his nickname. She fished out her phone _immediately._ Honestly, there wasn’t anything to see there, just some memes and retweets. “We haven't yet talked about your wedding,” he murmured, smiling when the woman's eyes shone up in genuine excitement. It was _sad_. It was so, so, _so_ sad that she was marrying this grump because _really_ , there was no way he could keep up his nice guy’s act for longer than a few months.

Sasuke _still_ wasn't talking, simply sitting between them and listening to them talk but maybe it was for the best. At least they had an excuse for why he was acting like an asocial jerk. Sakura, on the other hand, was pure joy shaped like a truly delightful human being. She talked about _icing_ for over twenty minutes, and made Naruto excited about it too. Sasuke would probably bore him to death while telling him the world was about to end.

“Are you bringing someone with you?” Sakura inquired. Naruto shook his head, hoping it was the right answer.

“I've just got dumped, so no,” he explained. He hoped that this way Sakura won't try to match him with one of her friends. “And it's hard to find a guy on last notice,” he added, deciding that posing as Sasuke’s gay friend was his safest bet. He wasn't _really_ gay, he was bi,but this—

“You've never told me that—”

“I got dumped a week ago,” Naruto interrupted the stupid jerk. “It’s _your_ big day, so I wanted to focus on _you_ ,” he added, hoping that this would clue the bastard to drop the Naruto subject altogether. Sasuke merely stared at him, looking way too bewildered. “Don't worry, it wasn't _this_ serious,” Naruto continued. “But yeah, I'm coming alone,” he concluded, turning his head to look at Sakura. “I hope it's not too big of a problem for you guys—”

“Oh my gosh, _no_ , of course it's not,” Sakura assured him. “I'm _so_ sorry to hear this,” she said, sounding genuinely sorry.

“No, no, no, guys, I'm serious, just forget it,” Naruto smiled. “I'm so excited for you two, I've always thought Sasuke would be _my_ best man before I get to be his,” he laughed.

“Daww, I'm sure your time will come,” she chirped, waving her hands at him. Naruto caught a glimpse of the biggest diamond ring he's ever seen. And it was a _pink_ diamond. Sasuke clearly had money to burn.

“I love your ring,” he said, pointing at her hand. The woman blushed like a peony, and practically shoved her finger into his face, leaning over her future husband.

“Sakura, you're heavy,” Sasuke complained, ruining the moment.

“Sorry, honey,” she apologized, stood up,sat in an armchair closest to Naruto, and presented her ring to him again. It truly was beautiful. “I know I shouldn't be saying this but it's just _perfect_ , isn't it?”

“It is,” Naruto agreed. There was no way Sasuke would come up with this on his own.

“My dear Sasuke is just perfect,” she cooed, “he knows me so well already, it's almost giving me the creeps,” she giggled.

“Yes, he's surprisingly considerate,” Naruto agreed with her. He was guessing it was all Karin's work.Because there was no way that the jerk cared about anything but himself. If he _did_ care, he wouldn't need to hire someone to pose as his best friend since he'd have one of his own.

“Yes, and I've heard you're a photographer,” Sakura continued, sounding way too excited for her own good. Naruto stopped himself from shooting the bastard an angry stare. _No_. You do _not_ tell your fiancee that your best friend is a photographer. Because she will most definitely ask you to shoot some photos, you should have a ton of equipment, _and_ you should have a fucking portfolio or two of already made photos, and Naruto had _none_ of it.

“Yes,” Naruto replied, nudging the jerk with his knee.

“He makes stock photos,” Sasuke chimed in surprisingly seamlessly. “I want him to spend some time with us, though, and not run around hidden behind his camera,” he added. “Besides, it's not like the world needs more photos of women being happy about seeing a salad—”

“I'd totally love a stock photo session of us and some salad,” Sakura laughed. “Come on, honey, it'll be _funny_ ,” she insisted.

“I have a tight schedule but I'll see what I can do,” Naruto promised. He was well aware of the fact that it was easier to say he'd do something and count on the happy couple to forget about it in the midst of preparations, honeymoons, and other things than to say that he _wasn't_ going to do it.

“I’ll ask you about details via Twitter,” Sakura chirped. Sasuke forced himself to smile but he looked as if he was constipated. Naruto too forced himself to smile but he had years of experience in it, so it actually _worked_.

Then they returned to discussing the upcoming wedding. Sakura was acting like a little girl making her dream come true, and Sasuke fell asleep halfway through, leaving the two of them virtually alone. Virtually, because after some twisting and turning his head ended up on Naruto’s shoulder, and if Naruto was feeling it right, Sasuke was drooling all over his sleeve, smelling like a distillery and, for whatever reason, mint.

“It's gotten pretty late,” Sakura noticed, letting out yet another yawn. Naruto nodded, afraid to move and wake the bastard up. “I'll see myself to the doors because I guess you're staying here for tonight,” she added, sending him a warm smile. “Tell me,” she whispered, leaning towards him, as if she wanted to share secrets. “have you and Sasuke ever…?”

“Gods, no,” Naruto blurted out. The woman tilted her head, visibly trying to stop herself from laughing. “He's never been interested,” the blonde added. “And he's too much of a romantic for me anyways,” he continued the lie, refraining himself from shaking his head at how bad of an idea from Sasuke it was to pretend he was his exact opposite. It would come back to bite him in the ass rather sooner than later.

“I know, right?!” Sakura squealed. “It's amazing that guys like him are still in this world, and I'm even getting married to one,” she giggled, leaning over her sleeping fiancé, and smooching him on the forehead. It was _weird_. It was an arranged marriage but Sakura looked as if she really was head over heels in love with the jerk. After meeting Sasuke, Naruto expected her to be a little more reserved, and just as calculating but _nope_ , this was pure joy and happiness, and Sakura probably hasn't even told anyone that the marriage was arranged.

“You're right,” he agreed with her, waving at her as she left the flat, and closed the doors behind herself, telling they just _had to_ meet again, and that she couldn't wait. Naruto let out an exasperated sigh, and shook Sasuke awake. “She's gone,” he informed his client, who just grunted unhappily, not raising his head from Naruto’s shoulder. “Sasuke,” the blonde started, a feeling of dread slowly overtaking him. “It's not really my business but are you certain about this whole thing?” he inquired. “I _can_ live in a lie for a month or so, but you're signing yourself up for a whole life of lies,” he murmured.

“You're right, it's _not_ your business,” Sasuke hissed at him, finally sitting up. His eyes were bloodshot, and now he even kind of looked like a roadkill with that nasty cow lick and pale face. “You're supposed to pretend to be my best man, not my psychiatrist—”

“Most of my clients _love_ the people they're marrying,” Naruto whispered. “So I know that I'm _helping_ them. With you, it's…”

“I'll be fine,” Sasuke snapped. Naruto stared at him for the longest time, pondering over what to do and if he shouldn't try to stop this marriage from happening again but eventually gave up on it. It really _wasn’t_ his place to bring any of it up. Even if it _was_ making him feel awful and like a bigger scam than usually.

“You keep talking about me in third person,” Naruto sighed. “Work on it,” he ordered, getting up from the couch. “Also, since you've made me into a fucking _photographer_ , brilliant, really, just fucking _brilliant_ , Sasuke, clap, clap, I need to rent some equipment, attend some classes, buy rights to a shitload of photos, make some website, and—”

“I'll tell Karin to take care of it,” Sasuke yawned, visibly unfazed by how much he's screwed up.

“Great,” Naruto breathed out. “Tomorrow evening you'll meet your new friends,” he added. “Usually I make the future husband the heart and the soul of the group but with you it might be a little too unbelievable,” he continued.

“Whatever,” Sasukeagreed.

“This time we're meeting in _my_ apartment. We don't need anyone to crash the meeting again,” he said, forcing himself to smile.

“You did well,” Sasuke mumbled out. “You were… believable,” he stated.

“I've told you I'm worth every penny,” Naruto grinned at the jerk. “Again, don't come dressed in a _suit_ , I get that it's your armor or whatever—”

“It just fills the dress code in almost everywhere. It's convenient,” Sasuke disagreed, his head tilted back, his eyes glued to the ceiling, his voice nasal and groggy. “I've told you already that you suck at assuming things.”

_At least I'm not the one screwing himself over._

"You suck at pretending to be my friend," Naruto said instead. "You should be able have a normal talk with me when other people are present too," he lectured. "So tomorrow I'll first introduce you to your new friends, we'll discuss their origin story," he snorted, "and then we'll hit the town. Not this town, though. Some other town. I've already booked us tickets," he said. "You can pretend it's your stag night. We'll all relax and have some fun together," he chirped.

" _Great_ ," Sasuke muttered, sounding as if the idea of a party was the worst one he's ever heard. " _I can't wait_."

 _Till it's over_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there are other things I should be doing right now  
> but instead I wrote this  
> because I want to be able to write the next chapter to this :'D
> 
> The French dude Sasuke was talking about is of course Jean Baudrillard. The producers of the Matrix, however, kind of misunderstood his theory so Sasuke mentioning him is kind of a joke :'D The funniest joke in this chapter. This is why this fic has "Attempt at humor" as one of the tags lmao


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoa whoa this chap is twice as long as the previous ones
> 
> this thing writes itself
> 
> it scares me

Naruto breathed in, taking in the view of Sasuke’s new friends. They were just a bunch of performers Naruto got to know when he was still in college, and they used to help him out for a considerable fee. Just like this time. He needed professionals. Sometimes he'd get some aspiring actor for a simple job but this time there was no room for mistakes. Shikamaru, Chouji, Shino and Kiba were with him from the very beginning. There was a time when they were available to hire as best men too but now they all preferred to focus on their own career even though this job paid better. Naruto knew  _why_  it was like this. They wanted to finally be able to settle down and stop living in a lie some other guy made up for them. This was why he was grateful when all of them agreed to help him out anyways.

“Sasuke’s going to be here in an hour or so,” he informed the group. “He's not very nice in person but his future wife believes that he’s a hopeless romantic, so take this into account,” he chuckled, and relayed the situation to them. “He's one of them uptown girls, so you need to look your part too,” he said. “Shikamaru, you desperately need a haircut.”

“What about Shino, he's—”

“Shino's posing as a fashion designer, he can get away with it,” Naruto interrupted him.

“I  _am_  a fashion designer,” Shino muttered. Naruto nodded in agreement. Yes, Shino  _was_  a fashion designer. Only the most desperate and fanatic hipsters have heard of him but Naruto thought it could interest Sakura, and Sakura being interested was kind of their goal. Especially since Shino threw all of his money into his business so it was quite impressive. Not very well known but it looked more professional than it needed to. And they weren't risking anything by using Shino's real identity for a change. The man was extremely secretive, and there simply wasn't too much to find.

“Shikamaru, you're a programmer,” Naruto informed the man, who was currently playing with his hair, looking as if he wished he was dead. “I paid some studios to add your name to the credits, so you're covered. The list of software you've worked on is in your folder,” he said. “There's also a pendrive, so you can check them out. I want you to be able to talk about it with people, all of the software is written in C#, so you should be just fine,” he concluded. Shikamaru had to learn that language for a previous job, in which he was the best man. Being a best man took quite a dedication but it usually paid off.

“Whatever,” Shikamaru sighed. Naruto sent him a warm smile. Shikamaru was brilliant but he was also lazy as fuck. This probably explained why after gathering all the money he chose to be a  goddamn forest ranger. Naruto had to fly him here from half across the country but he knew it was worth it.

“Kiba, you’re my business partner, we’re both photographers,” Naruto continued, ignoring the frown on the inked man's face. “You'll have to take some classes with me too,” he stated. “You need to be able to make a good photograph. I hope you've learned something from your sister,” he chuckled.

“My sister photographs  _dogs_ ,” Kiba barked. He himself worked in an animal shelter.

“I  _know_ ,” Naruto replied. “I believe in you,” he chirped. “Photographing people is probably easier—”

“I don't know, I have yet to see a dog that's not photogenic,” Kiba snorted. “But alright, we’ll make it work,” he smiled.

“Chouji, you’re a security risk assessment specialist,” Naruto announced.

“And I thought  _I_  had the boring job,” Shikamaru snorted.

“Read up on it,” Naruto ordered, ignoring Shikamaru's comment, “I doubt anyone will want to talk about it with you but you still need to—”

“Naruto, we  _know_ ,” Chouji assured him. “It's not our first time doing this, remember?”

“I  _know_ ,” the blonde replied. “Now, when it comes to how we all know each other, this time it's easier because you're mostly  _my_  friends, so Sasuke knows all of you through me,” he continued. “Kiba, we met during a photography course, we hit off, and now we're working together. Shikamaru, we're childhood friends, our parents know each other too. Chouji, we went to the same class in high school. Shino, we met because you hired Kiba and me to make some photo shoots for you. Sasuke doesn't know you too well, you're mostly hanging out with Kiba but we're all a group of good friends,” he concluded. “There's no room for errors, so memorize your files by heart, and don't deviate too far from the story.”

Naruto smiled when he saw the men shuffle through their folders. They were equipped with fake IDs, fake business cards, a memory map of their relationship, a file on Sasuke, their made up biography, likes and dislikes, a shortened version of other guys' files, and some ready to use stories. Usually, it wasn’t needed but being prepared never hurt anybody.

* * *

 

Sasuke glared at the door bell as if it personally offended his whole family. He was having second thoughts about this whole  _best man for hire_  thing but after Sakura met Naruto… it would've been way too difficult to turn his back on it  _now_. He'd have to tell her Naruto got suddenly swamped with work but then all these other people wouldn't be able to come too, and it would just be really suspicious. At least Naruto exceeded his expectations.

Well, to be fair, Sasuke's expectations weren't too high, they were actually set pretty low but seeing how Naruto was able to deal with all of this bullshit was a pleasant surprise. And so Sasuke chose to ring the doorbell.

Naruto lived in a neighboring town, his apartment was located in a rather cheap neighborhood, and that was weird. Naruto's fee was pretty hefty, and Sasuke knew from Karin that the man didn't have any financial troubles, so he should be able to easily afford living in some nicer place but, then again, it didn't really matter. Sasuke simply made a mental note to never drive to Naruto in his own car because parking it here on the street probably was a  _terrible_  idea.

“Great, you're finally here,” Naruto greeted him with a huge grin on his face immediately after opening the doors, as if he was actually  _happy_  to see him. “Come on in, don't just stand there,” he chirped, grabbing Sasuke’s arm and pulling him into the apartment. Apartment, which, while scarcely furnished, looked way better than what Sasuke expected after seeing the surroundings.

“Hey,” some heavily tattooed guy waved at him. There were three more men aside from Naruto and this one, and they looked a little bit too  _colorful_  for Sasuke's liking. Especially the one, who was wearing dark shades inside of a building. This one looked positively crazy.

“Hey,” Sasuke waved back, measuring the men with narrowed eyes. He was guessing there weren’t too many normal people in this line of work. Well. There was no helping it now. Sasuke was just hoping that Naruto would surprise him again because so far he wasn't too amazed.

Naruto introduced the men to Sasuke, giving him their names, professions, some random facts and explained how they all knew each other. It was a lot of information but it wasn’t too complicated. To Sasuke they were just people he was hanging out with, so the main person of interest was Naruto. It made things easier and left some room for minor hiccups when it came to the rest of the guys. Not that Sasuke  _needed_  to have room for hiccups but when there was no pressure for everything to be perfect, he felt slightly more at ease. And  _this_ , feeling at ease, was something he's almost forgotten that it existed.

“Sasuke, remember that while it is important that we talk to your other guests, it's even more important that they see you talk with us,” Naruto lectured. It seemed he was good at lying. A weird and a rather worrying talent. “To make this seem as natural, as it’s only possible, you need to look relaxed around us. Everyone knows that it's your wedding so it's normal if you're stressed  _but_  we still need you to give us your best,” he said. “People generally mingle with the people they know, so while we'll be doing some small talk with your family, we'll mostly talk among each other. About you, about the wedding, about your beautiful wife, and so on, and so on.”

“I guess it makes sense,” Sasuke admitted.

“You've said you wanted us to belong to your social circle but then you've made me into a photographer,” Naruto continued. “The only way out of it is for me to pretend that I’m making most of my money in stock because that’s most annoying to check. Be so good and try to not mention my family,” he pleaded. “I  _can_  make it work even if you do but it's easier if you won't.”

“Fine,” Sasuke agreed. He raised his eyes at the blond man as he shoved a thick manila folder into Sasuke's hands.

“This is everything you should know,” Naruto informed him. “Read through this while we'll be flying because tomorrow this thing goes into shredder. If you forget something,  _call me_ ,” he added. “Also, while we're on the topic of phones—when was the last time you changed yours?”

“I don't remember?” Sasuke replied. “I'll have to call Karin and ask her to go through—”

“You don't have a texting history with any of us,” Naruto interrupted him with a smile.

“I don’t  _text_ ,” Sasuke sighed.

“Yes, you  _don't have time for this bullshit_ ,” the dumbass laughed. “In this case we don't have any  _calling_  history. Besides, other people  _do_  text. You either have to hand me your phone for a day or two—”

“Absolutely no,” Sasuke protested.

“Or buy yourself a new one. Pretend you've dropped this one or whatever. Because from now on you  _will_  be getting texts from us. Some generic bullshit. Do answer every once in a while. Or at least pretend you're calling back,” Naruto replied. Sasuke merely stared at him, slowly blinking. It sounded absolutely ridiculous. “Don't worry, it's just for the first two years for after you'll get married. At first you'll be getting texts once a week or so, then it'll be once every two weeks, once a month, and so on, and so on. Eventually we’ll go our separate ways—”

“Do you  _actually_  send texts to all these people? Is there  _really_  nothing better you could waste your time on?” Sasuke mumbled out.

“Hell no, it's just a bot with preprogrammed texts and answers,” Naruto replied. “I’ll give you the list of keywords to activate a particular answer, so—”

“It's incredibly stupid,” Sasuke commented.

“Sasuke, neither you nor we want  _this_  to come the light of day,” Naruto retorted, rolling his eyes as if everything he said was making perfect sense. “I've been in this business for over five years, all of  _this_ ,” he said, making a wide gesture with his arm as if he was a goddamn Mufasa showing Simba his new kingdom, “comes from experience. This is what our previous clients needed, so this is our standard package—”

“How did you even come up with this  _business_ ,” Sasuke sighed.

“You're our  _client_ , Sasuke,” Naruto pointed out, sounding uncertain, “there's clearly enough demand to—”

“How did you know there was enough demand to start—”

“Some dude posted an ad online,” the blonde answered. “He didn't become our first client but we advertised ourselves, and people came to us,” he sighed.

“And you were sending these  _texts_  to them too—”

“ _No_ ,” Naruto interrupted him. Sasuke tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. “But there were some… Sasuke, just trust us that this is for the best,” the dumbass grunted, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, you want to get married,” the moron suddenly paused and took a deep breath before saying more, “you are  _going to_ get married, and, hopefully, you'll forget about us within the next two months—”

“I won't if I’ll be getting a text from you every few  _days_ ,” Sasuke protested. “Whatever,” he relented as he heard Naruto groan in frustration. “I look forward to working with you,” he stated, hoping that his tone of voice made it perfectly clear that he was lying.

“ _Wonderful_ ,” Naruto huffed.

“Yup, let's get this over with,” the inked man, whose name started with a K snorted, getting up from the couch and stretching his limbs. If someone was into rugged shitheads, he could be considered handsome. “Use our names,” the man whispered, patting Sasuke's arm as he was walking by.

“Are they your real names?” Sasuke inquired.

“It doesn't matter,” the crazy guy in the glasses answered him. “They are real for you.”

“You're making us sound shady, Shino,” a guy with a weird haircut whined.

“Sasuke, the point of this whole endeavor is not to get to know  _us_ , it's to familiarize yourself with your  _friends_ ,” Naruto sighed. “Be more cooperative,” he pleaded.

“I should know whom I'm actually hiring,” Sasuke pointed out.

“You’re hiring  _me_ , and  _I_  hire  _them_ ,” Naruto replied. “This whole secrecy is both for your convenience, to make sure you won't mix up any details,  _and_  for their safety. Some of our clients go too far into the rabbit hole, and—”

“Always the poet,” the inked guy laughed. “Sasuke, take a chill pill, if you ever feel like filling a lawsuit, just put Naruto’s name on it, and you'll be golden.”

“And now we sound  _really_  shady,” the weird haircut guy scowled, shook his head, and left the apartment.

“He's right, you do know that?” Sasuke asked, staring at the blonde. “Why are you doing  _this_? There are so many other things you could be doing,” he added.

“Sasuke, you're trying to get to know  _me_ ,” Naruto answered, looking unhappy about it. “Focus on getting to know the boring photographer,” he advised. “Come on, we’re leaving,” he commanded, practically shoving Sasuke out of his flat. Now that Sasuke was thinking about it, the flat looked even more impersonal than his own. He was surprised that it was even possible. “You know my first and my family name, you know my address, and my ID number. You also know Karin, who knows my  _mother_ , so believe me when I say that you're perfectly capable of getting in touch with me even if I don't want it,” Naruto added, ignoring the elevator and walking down the stairs. None of the men even approached the elevator, as if using it was a bizarre idea.

“Is there something wrong with the elevator?” Sasuke questioned, following after the shady group of way too colorful individuals. He was hoping they would look boring after putting on some suits. He  _needed_ them to look boring.

“No, I simply don't like them,” the blonde sighed. “But it doesn't matter, I  _can_ get into one, so just forget it.”

“I live on the eleventh floor,” Sasuke murmured. “Did you walk the stairs to—”

“ _Yes_ ,” Naruto snapped at him.

“Is it just the elevators or any closed off space?” Sasuke asked. He wasn’t certain  _why_  he wanted to know it. Probably because Naruto wasn’t willing to answer. For someone, who was this invasive about others' personal lives, he was ridiculously secretive about his own. And this was annoying as fuck.

“Any closed off space,” Naruto grunted. “But I can deal with it, so you can just forget about it.”

“Seriously, man, stop prying,” the inked man chortled.

“There's no need for him to pretend he's not claustrophobic,” Sasuke pointed out in a tired voice.

“First of all, stop talking about me in third person. Second of all: truly, a vital piece of information,” Naruto sighed. “At least now you know you can just ask me to jump out of the cake if you want to torture me.”

“I'd actually pay to see you jumping out of a cake,” the inked guy laughed. “Especially if—”

“Shut it, Kiba,” Naruto scolded the man, who gave him a knowing smile. This was annoying beyond belief. Everyone but Sasuke knew some big secret. He wasn't used to being the one, who knew the least.

“Especially if  _what_?” he demanded to know.

“Get in the car, Sasuke,” Naruto said, completely ignoring the question. He'd ordered them two ubers, and practically jumped to take the seat next to the driver. Sasuke shot him an angry stare before taking a seat right behind him.

“Especially if—”

“To the airport,” the blonde chirped, addressing the driver. Then he turned towards Sasuke and Kiba, and handed them each a little booze bottle. “Well, Sasuke, this is your last party as a bachelor—”

“Congratulations, dude,” the driver chimed in. “I've been married for two years myself, and I've got to tell you that practically nothing changes, so if they try to throw you a funeral, you can just ignore them,” the man babbled as if he's been invited to partake in the conversation.

“Thank you for this input,” Sasuke muttered back, hoping the guy would get the hint. Especially since he was wrong. Things  _were_  going to change. For the worse. And it wasn’t because he believed that men, who were about to get married should wear a  _game over_  shirt.

“Sorry, he's an ass whenever he's stressed,” Naruto apologized to the driver as if it was his duty to do it. Perhaps he was worried about his rating, although Sasuke doubted it was anywhere near five stars. “Cheers, Sasuke,” the blonde chirped, turning towards him with his own bottle, a huge, terrifyingly genuine-looking grin on his face. “We’ll make you chill out even if it's the last thing we do,” he laughed. It was scary. This sudden shift from Naruto, who was tired of his shit to this… whoever  _this_  person was, was something straight out of a horror movie.

“Don't worry about a thing, I remember how  _I_ was acting just before the wedding,” the driver said, sounding oddly content. “My friends did all this fake kidnapping thing. I  _did_  realize it was fake before they untied the blindfold but when they grabbed me from behind when I was walking down the street, I thought I was going to shit my pants,” he laughed.

“Yeah, we wanted to do this too but our man of the hour trains goddamn karate,” Kiba, the inked guy laughed. “And we don't have a hospital on our to-do-list, so,” his voice trailed off as he poked Sasuke in the arm.

“Ah, yes, this  _does_  sound like a problem,” the driver chuckled back. So far, Sasuke and Kiba exchanged maybe twenty words. It was uncanny and unnatural. And completely  _unneeded_. It was just a driver. The guy had no idea who Sasuke was, so there was no need for this charade. “Relax, pal, it'll be one of the best nights in your life so far,” the driver promised.

“Or the worst,” Sasuke replied.

“Daww, you're hurting my feelings,” Naruto wailed. “Have some faith in me. I have everything planned out, you're going to  _love_  it.”

“I wish I had your confidence,” Sasuke hissed. So far, he was sure of just one thing—if the regular Naruto annoyed the shit out of him, he fucking  _hated_  this one. It was just like with Sakura. He shouldn't have to pretend but he was being forced to. “Do we really have to do this  _now_?” he asked.

“Absolutely,” Kiba snorted. “Drink up, and the world will get more beautiful,” he whispered in a sing-a-song voice. Sasuke opened his mouth, ready to clarify that it wasn’t what he was asking about but eventually gave up. They  _knew_ what he wanted to ask. Their answer simply wasn't what Sasuke's wished for.

“Cheers,” Naruto chuckled, bumping his bottle with Kiba's and Sasuke's. Somehow, this  _cheers_  sounded way worse than anything else that's fell out of the blonde’s mouth so far.

* * *

 

“Why are we all sleeping together?” the asshole asked immediately after they entered their suite. And it was a pretty nice suite at that.

“We didn't come here to brood in separate rooms,” Naruto replied. So far, it's been a total disaster. Sasuke was completely ignoring all the other guys, blatantly uninterested in them. And he kept breaking the fourth wall as if he was getting off on it. At least the flight was peaceful but that was mostly because Sasuke first read through his folder, and then took a quick nap. And now, when the jerk appeared way more rested than everyone else, he must've decided it was time to be difficult again. “Freshen up, we’re leaving in like half an hour,” he ordered, forcing himself to sound excited.

“You seriously can tone that act down a bit,” Sasuke muttered. “It's  _tiring_.”

“And I thought  _you_  were the downer,” Kiba snorted, pointing at Shino. Naruto sent them half a smile. Perhaps Shino would've been a better choice for Sasuke but Shino was no longer offering his services. Everyone but Naruto would appear just at the wedding, and perhaps at the rehearsal or  _maybe_  one more party. Seeing how Sasuke couldn't contain his excitement, Naruto was guessing it would be just the wedding.

“Don't  _you_  get tired of it?” Sasuke questioned.

“Nope,” Chouji answered him.

“Sasuke, get used to it because this will be your whole life unless you have a serious talk with your fiancee,” Naruto barked at him.

“So you  _do_  get tired of it,” Sasuke said, looking slightly more content than just a while ago.

“Smile, Naruto,” Shikamaru scolded him. “We’re  _happy_  here. This is a happy time.”

“He doesn't have to—”

“Third person,” Naruto barked, mostly because he wanted to interrupt the bastard. Then he cleared his throat, realizing that he couldn't let Sasuke get under his skin like this. It was completely unprofessional of him. “Alright, boys—”

“ _You_ don't have to pretend to like me when it's just us,” Sasuke snarled. “It's not for me, it's for Sakura.”

“Sasuke, this is  _not_  about me pretending to like you,” Naruto snapped, “it’s about you getting used to us in a safe environment. Put some effort into this,  _please_ ,” he scowled. “Other guys were just happy they had someone to hang out with—”

“ _Naruto_ ,” Kiba growled, interrupting him. “Sasuke, if you drop the act whenever you think you're not being observed, someone will finally catch you, and you'll have a shitload of explaining to do. It's better to just do it all the time. And it'll be easier for you too because you won't have to remember which Naruto you're talking to at the moment because the only Naruto you need to know is your best friend.”

“ _Yes_ , thank you,” the blonde huffed. “If you think you can't do this, just—"

“Go take a shower, you need to cool off,” Shino murmured. Naruto rubbed his face, and let out a loud groan, deciding that Shino was actually right.

“How the fuck do you even have any clients?” Sasuke mumbled out in disbelief.

“People, who are getting married, are usually  _happy_ ,” Naruto retorted. “They  _want_  to get married—”

“They're lying to the people they supposedly love,” Sasuke disagreed. “And you're  _helping_  them. If they can't tell the person they love that they don't have—”

“You're literally using our services,” Naruto whined, giving up on shower, and throwing himself on a bed.

“Sakura knows it's not real,” Sasuke muttered. “She just wants the world to be pretty. It doesn't matter if it's real.”

“ _She doesn't know_ ,” Naruto protested. “Have you actually seen her? She's crazy about you.”

“She's not crazy about  _me_ ,” Sasuke muttered. “She’s not even interested in getting to know  _me_. You suck at assuming things.”

“Maybe you didn't  _let her_ —”

“Guys, are you seriously doing it right now?” Shikamaru yawned. “Sasuke, Naruto forgot himself, it's really  _not_  our business—“

“It’s not,” Sasuke agreed with him.

“Great that we have this cleared up,” Kiba chirped. “Now go freshen up, and let's stop wasting time,” he announced with a smile, clapping his hands. Naruto breathed in. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

 

Sasuke blinked, eying Naruto’s constantly growing heap of chips. They had started the evening by going to the hotel casino, and right now Naruto was pretty much slaughtering them at the poker table. He was either good at bluffing or had insane luck. Sasuke suspected a mixture of both because whenever he decided not to fold, and actually check Naruto's hand, it was always higher than his.

This was stupid. Sasuke was  _good_ at Texas Hold'em. He wasn't a fan of gambling but he's played his fair share of games, and he couldn't remember one, in which he'd be losing so badly.

“I’d destroy you at bridge,” he muttered, glaring at the blonde, who was currently pulling his winnings closer to himself. Naruto merely snorted at that, and Sasuke had no idea if it was a genuine snort or not, and it was driving him crazy.

“Bah, you know what they say, lucky at cards, unlucky in love,” Kiba sighed.

“You're unlucky in both,” Naruto chirped, showing him tongue. “And we can't play bridge tonight, there's six of us,” he pointed out. “Besides, we'd be playing in pairs. I thought you hated team games,” he murmured, evidently happy with himself.

“There's only one winner, though,” Sasuke hissed. He liked playing bridge. His family used to do it a lot when all four of them were still living together. Back then it was either his father or—

Or Itachi. Itachi was winning a lot too. And being his pair was definitely the easiest. Sasuke breathed in, chasing the unwanted thoughts away.

“Raise,” he sighed without even looking into his cards.

“Play like this and you'll have to go all-in pretty soon,” Naruto replied, sipping on his drink. He was no longer smiling.

“Sasuke's getting  _married_. It would be weird if he was winning,” Chouji chuckled. 

“All-in,” Sasuke muttered.

“I'm not going to go easy on you just because it's your stag night,” Kiba warned him, a nasty simper on his face. “All-in,” he snorted. “I can't believe I have fewer chips than you.”

“You're both idiots,” Naruto whispered, shaking his head. “Check.”

Sasuke leaned back as they revealed their cards. He frowned upon realizing that his three of jacks meant jack shit. Then he smiled when he saw who won the round.

“See, I have some luck in cards,” Kiba murmured, going after the main pot.

“At least I’m luckier at cards than you, Sasuke,” Naruto snickered, taking the side pot. “Although it scares me,” he whispered, destroying Sasuke's neat stacks of chips, and mixing them into his heap of chaos.

“You're buying Sasuke alcohol for the rest of the night, most of these chips used to be his,” Kiba snorted. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. “He totally has to. It’s been ages since the last time I've seen you wasted, Sasuke—”

“He got pretty wasted yesterday,” Naruto interrupted the stream of lies. “Drooled all over my slave. I had to say goodbye to my favorite t-shirt,” he added with a pretend despair.

“Good riddance,” Sasuke commented, jerking up when he felt Naruto kick him under the table. He shot a surprised look at the man, and kicked him back.

“ _Shit_ , you want me to have bruises?” the blonde cried. “I need my calves to be impeccable, and you're ruining them,” he whined.

“You do need your calves,” Chouji admitted.

“You started it,” Sasuke replied, watching the others play. Normally he'd either be asked to buy more chips or asked  _out_  but nobody bothered him about it. He'd seen Naruto greeting some of the staff members earlier though; it was possible that Naruto's brought lots of people into the casino already, so perhaps he and his guests were receiving special treatment. Sasuke was guessing the staff believed that Naruto was making his living by organizing stag nights.

Doing…  _this_  every once in a while was an okay distraction but it had to get boring and tiring after these five years. And it was a miracle that Naruto was able to remember so many details about his each and every client. They seen each other  _yesterday_ , for fuck's sake, and yet Naruto made absolutely no mistakes. Neither did his… friends? Co-workers? Employees? Sasuke wasn’t certain who exactly the rest of the men were but they didn't feel real. As if they were made of paper mâché. Most of the things his life currently consisted of felt hollow.

He watched as Naruto won back all the chips he's just lost. And then he won some more. He  _was_  good at this, at… at  _assuming things_ , Sasuke supposed, shaking his head, a faint smile lingering on his lips. Then again, Sasuke couldn't remember even one instance of when Naruto was right about  _him_.

“You could easily earn your living by playing at a casino,” Shikamaru yawned. He used to be the second place but now he was down to almost nothing.

“Nah, you can't push your luck like this,” Naruto disagreed. “I don't know about you boys, but I'm satisfied with my winnings,” he chirped.

“I got too much blood in my alcohol level,” Kiba whined. “At least we know who's paying for all of our drinks tonight,” he smiled, ruffling Naruto's hair.

“Ain't gonna happen,” the blonde announced, collecting his chips. “But we're all paying for your drinks, Sasuke. If everything goes according to plan, tomorrow you'll wake up next to a tiger, and with no recollection of this night,” he grinned.

“We can just call it a night now,” Sasuke replied. “I need to get back to work tomorrow morning—”

“You  _don’t_ ,” the blonde informed him with a mischievous smile. “I've called Karin already, she knows you won't be there. I just knew you wouldn't agree to coming here if I told you that you're getting a day off out of this,” he laughed. Sasuke merely stared at the idiot. He had no idea when was the last time he's had a day off. Probably over two years ago. Sasuke knitted his eyebrows together, and kicked Naruto under the table again. “ _Ouch_ , stop it,” the blonde cried. “It's like you've never left elementary school—”

“Quit horsing around,” Shino scolded them.

“He started it,” Sasuke excused himself, downing his drink. He was kind of waiting for Naruto to complain about being referred to in third person but it didn't happen. Sasuke breathed in, tapping his fingers against the table. He was starting to want to get wasted.

* * *

 

Sasuke glared at a half-naked, dancing woman. Then he glared at Naruto, downed his drink, and then he returned to glaring at the girl. He felt ridiculous. He wasn’t personally opposed to strip clubs or burlesque shows, or however else Naruto wanted to call this, it was just that it wasn’t Sasuke's thing. He had no interest in half-naked women even if he had to admit that they  _were_  aesthetically pleasing and  _yes_ , it had to take quite a lot of skill to dance like this but there was a limit to how long one could be entertained by it, and Sasuke was nearing his.

“Really, this place just  _screams_  marriage,” he sighed, looking around. Most of the patrons were male. At least half of them were much older than him. “I don't care about it myself but bringing here all these guys, who, as you claim, are  _in love_  with—”

“It's just a tradition,” Kiba interrupted him, paying a waitress for more drinks. “Nobody's expecting you to bust a nut—”

“Language,” Shino scolded him. The crazy man looked positively bored by the entire show. They all looked far less excited than the rest of the clientele. No wonder. They must've seen it a hundred times already. Well, maybe not  _hundred_ , Sasuke corrected himself. Fucking close to it, though.

Sasuke just felt weird. Not exactly embarrassed or ashamed, just  _weird_. At least there was a pleasant buzzing in his head, so he was guessing that he was going to at least  _partially_  enjoy the night. It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. He stretched his legs, sitting more comfortably on the black sofa, refraining himself from thinking about all these drinks and bodily fluids that must've been spilled on it in the past, and clinked his glass when Shikamaru moved his towards him. The drinks were tasty, he supposed. Nothing like the one Naruto had prepared him yesterday.

“I'm gonna excuse myself for a moment,” Naruto breathed out almost an hour later when Sasuke already struggled with keeping his head straight. He's already seen like eight different girls, and was pretty certain that the next one wouldn't be able to do anything to surprise him. 

He had no idea how wrong he was.

Because when he raised his head to see who was entering the stage this time, he had to do a double take, and they were sitting  _extremely_  close to the stage.

“And now, the one and only Foxy!” the host screamed through the mike as if he was announcing some goddamn rock star. Nevertheless, however Sasuke looked at it, it was  _Naruto_. Naruto in full drag, with his face, arms and legs covered with sparkly glitter, wearing a skimpy outfit decked with red and orange sequins, and a long blond wig on his head.

“I'll never get tired of it,” Kiba chirped, patting Sasuke’s knee. Sasuke merely nodded his head, unable to form a coherent sentence. At first he thought it was going to be a  _joke_  but no, when Naruto grabbed that pole, it was clear that he was a fucking professional when it came to it. He clearly had lots of upper body strength even if his muscles weren't too defined. He had a dancer's body and flexibility. Sasuke could barely stop himself from watching him, and had to force himself to turn his eyes away and look at the rest of the audience.

The majority of the other patrons looked amazed too. Some were laughing, some were cheering, and some looked just as bored as five minutes ago. Sasuke stared at Naruto again, watching him hang upside down from the pole, making it look absolutely effortless. Sasuke’s breath hitched as Naruto tipped his body forward, standing on his arms for a split second before his legs touched the ground too. It looked… harmonious. Surprisingly harmonious.

Then Naruto finished his act, and Sasuke remembered he knew how to breathe.

“I thought you were brain dead for a moment there,” Kiba snorted. Sasuke slowly turned his head towards him to reply but then something warm and heavy landed on his lap, strands of long blond hair brushed against his face, and when Sasuke finally realized what was going on, he became also painfully aware of his erection, which showed no signs of dying down. If anything, it grew even more prominent as a warm hand rested on his shoulder. “And now you look brain dead  _again_ ,” Kiba sighed, faking concern.

“You've  _just_  left,” Sasuke mumbled out, praying that the moron somehow  _didn't_  notice the growing bulge right underneath his ass.

“I've been gone for almost half an hour, Sasuke,  _thanks for noticing_ ,” Naruto murmured, linking his hands behind the nape of Sasuke's neck. “Should  _I_  be noticing something too?” he whispered his question, getting so close that Sasuke could not only hear his breath but also feel it.

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke grunted in reply, trying to think about  _anything_  else.

“I kind of  _want_  to grind against you and make you cum right here and now, for everyone for see,” Naruto laughed into Sasuke’s ear, his words so quiet that they were barely intelligible. Sasuke forced himself to breathe slower. He could feel his heart thumping in his chest, and he was pretty certain Naruto could feel it too. He had to admit to himself that he was now officially and irrevocably attracted to his fake best man. It was ridiculous, and it didn't make any sense. “Jokes aside,” Naruto started in a hushed voice, “if I get off you now, everyone  _will_  see. I wouldn't be still sitting on you if it wasn’t for  _this_ ,” he snickered, moving his hips just a little bit but it still felt like too much.

“Is  _this_  what you do at these baby showers?” Sasuke inquired, hoping his voice was free from any tension.

“You’d have to pay me extra but hey, I don't judge,” Naruto laughed in his normal tone. His thighs were leaving glitter stains all over Sasuke's thin pants. His pants were too thin. He should've wore jeans. “I think you've broken the record, people usually tell me to get off them  _way_  quicker,” the blonde chirped, probably just to torture him. 

“Nerves of steel,” Kiba chortled. “Aren't you going to give Sasuke a lap dance? I think he deserves one.”

“I had no idea that my boring photographer friend was a burlesque dancer,” Sasuke muttered.

“See, all these years, and I can still surprise you,” Naruto cooed.

“Orange doesn't go well with your skin tone,” Sasuke sighed, trying to think about  _anything_  else.

“I've put myself through college thanks to this outfit, so I guess you're completely and utterly wrong,” Naruto snorted. Sasuke had nothing smart to say, so he merely nodded his head. “This is getting awkward as fuck, Sasuke,” the blonde hissed into his ear.

“If it was up to me, we wouldn’t have been here,” Sasuke reminded the moron in a hushed voice. “And then  _you_  decided to be practically naked—”

“I'm wearing a  _dress_ , that's hardly,” the blonde paused, and leaned back, staring at Sasuke, a weird expression on his face. “I had  _no_  idea that  _this_  was for  _me_ ,” Naruto wailed.

“What are you talking about?” Chouji inquired as Sasuke choked on air, wishing he was dead and buried at least five countries away from Naruto. “We need to leave in like twenty minutes, you should go change,” the man murmured, ignoring the fact that he hasn't heard any answer to his previous question.

“ _It makes it so much more awkward_ ,” Naruto complained into Sasuke’s ear. “Why, Chouji?” he asked, turning his head towards the man, and sending him a cheeky grin. “I thought you liked seeing me like this~”

“You'll freeze your ass off,” Kiba chuckled. “But be my guest,” he relented, handing Sasuke his drink.

“Where are we going?” Sasuke questioned, hoping that busying himself with  _this_  would help him focus on the fact that this situation was embarrassing as hell, and that he wanted to  _leave_. Desperately. He drank at least a half of his drink in one gulp, wishing for this evening to  _end_.

“It’s a surprise,” Naruto replied. “And I think you'll actually like it,” he chirped. “Unless you want a private show with me,” he snickered.

“Fuck no,” Sasuke barked back.

“Words can hurt too, Sasuke,” the blonde whined.

“You can always come here,” Kiba offered, patting his knee. “For the old times sake—”

“Nope,” the blonde snorted in reply, hooking his arm around Sasuke’s neck. “Get it  _down_ ,” he gritted through his teeth. “I'm starting to think that you're marrying Sakura because you're actually gay as a rainbow—”

“That's not the reason,” Sasuke interrupted him louder than he intended, gaining himself some questioning looks from the rest.

“So you're well aware of it, and yet,” Naruto stuttered. “Whatever,” he groaned, rubbing his face. “Think about something sad, we seriously don't have time for  _this_ ,” he complained. “I don't know, imagine it's your  _fiancee_  straddling you—”

“ _Stop talking_ ,” Sasuke hissed.

“She's actually asked me if we're ever fooled around together,” Naruto continued, ignoring Sasuke’s complaint. Sasuke was suddenly extremely grateful for how loud the music was, and for how dark it was in the club except for the stage. And he was grateful to all these women, who kept the other guys' attention away from him. “ _Does she know_ —”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke interrupted the idiot.

“I've told her that you were never interested but now I think I've lied to her,” the blonde complained. “I assumed you had hots for my  _cousin_ —”

“And I've told you to stop assuming things at least five times already,” Sasuke growled, leaning his head back.

“You're being ridiculous,” Naruto continued. “You  _do_  realize that you  _don't_  have to go through with this wedding, yes?”

“I  _have_  to,” Sasuke disagreed.

“Aaand now I can get off,” the blonde chirped, quickly standing up, and sitting next to him. Sasuke turned his head to watch as Shikamaru helped the idiot take his wig off. Naruto was wearing lots of make up. Sasuke was guessing his shirt had to be smeared with the concealer and lipstick. He was wondering if Sakura would call off the wedding if she found it. Probably not. “Alright, guys, I'll be back in ten minutes tops,” Naruto promised as he stood up, his high heels making him at least four inches taller than he actually was. Sasuke returned to glaring at the ceiling as he heard him walk away.

This evening just kept getting worse.

* * *

 

“He's ignoring me,” Shikamaru complained in a hushed voice upon returning from the bow, where Sasuke escaped within seconds after they boarded a yacht. Naruto groaned, rubbing his cheek.

He thought Sasuke would actually  _enjoy_  this little cruise. They've left the port over an hour ago, the sea waves were crushing against the yacht, they could see the distant city lights on the horizon but otherwise it was just darkness and stars, and  _wind_ , and Sasuke was supposed to like it but Sasuke ran away from them. And at first Naruto thought that the man simply wanted some time alone to enjoy it in silence but it's been an hour already, and he still wasn't coming back. And therefore Naruto sent Shikamaru to check on the brooding bastard but, apparently, the brooding bastard wasn’t interested in being checked on.

“I hate everything about it,” Kiba scowled, sounding as if he was about to throw up. “Maybe he's seasick too—”

“He's not,” Shikamaru interrupted him in a whisper. “And he's not sleeping either, he made a show of glaring at me and rolling his eyes. I'm not even certain if it's a good idea to have him as your client, Naruto. It'll blow up in your face,” he warned.

“I didn't have a choice,” Naruto retorted.

“But you  _did_  have a choice when you decided to go drag anyways,” Shikamaru scolded him. “First you tell him to focus on getting to know the boring photographer, and then you come out with  _this_.”

“It helps people  _relax_ ,” the blonde complained. “I  _need_  him to be relaxed around me.”

“He's clearly not relaxed  _now_ ,” Shikamaru pointed out. “If  _this_  thing ends in a divorce, you're pretty much finished.”

Naruto glared at the man. A few of his clients went through divorce. And this was perfectly natural even if sad. However, the husband of one of the first ones found out about the fake best man thing. It made his claims much stronger, and it was just Naruto's luck that everything didn't crumble to pieces back then and there. The client even had tried to sue Naruto for damages but his case was weak. With Sasuke… Naruto was pretty certain that Sasuke  _knew_  how to build a solid case.

“Go talk to him,” Chouji advised. “Maybe he'll want to talk to  _you_.”

“I doubt that,” Naruto sighed but stood up anyways, taking the blanket he had been using to keep himself warm with him as he climbed on the deck and marched towards the bow, where he sat next to Sasuke, uncertain about what he should say. “Everything's alright?” he inquired in a hushed voice. “You don't have to be embarrassed about that thing in the club—”

“Shut up,” Sasuke pleaded.

“I mean it,” the blonde insisted. “It's not the first time—”

“I seriously don't care,” Sasuke informed him. Somehow, he made Naruto believe that it wasn't about  _that_  thing. Naruto  _wished_  it was about  _that_ thing. It would've been way easier to handle. The blonde sighed, and lied next to the bastard, covering himself with the blanket. They were in luck, the wind wasn’t too strong, it was just  _perfect_ , and while it was cold, it wasn't exactly  _unpleasant_.

“I know it's not my business to bring it up but—”

“Then don't,” Sasuke advised him in a dry tone.

“ _But_ ,” Naruto continued anyways, “this marriage is a terrible idea,” he stated under his breath. “Because you do realize that it's  _not_  just the wedding, right? After the wedding you'll be  _married_  to her. Do you seriously want to be miserable so badly? Do you want to make her miserable too?”

“I’m not going to make her  _miserable_ ,” Sasuke hissed at him.

“Mhm,  _sure_ ,” Naruto barked in reply. “Everyone wants to get married to a freaking ken doll. Because that's all you can offer her,” he sighed. “You don’t let her know the real you, and sex isn't going to be so great too. Are you going to live in a doll house too?”

“She doesn't  _want_  to know the real me,” Sasuke snapped at him, making the  _real me_  sound obscenely dramatic, as if to laugh at Naruto’s wording. “And  _yes_ , if she wants to live in a doll house, we  _will_ live in a doll house.”

“Wow, you're not even denying that,” Naruto sighed. “ _Wonderful_. I know I've said that she's brave for marrying you and stuff like that but it's not like you have to marry the first willing person, for fuck's sake, Sasuke, there’s no reason to be this desperate—”

“Naruto,” Sasuke interrupted him, sounding pretty much  _done_  with life, “ _why_  do you think I'm marrying her?”

“Money,” Naruto guessed. “But there have to be some rich gay guys too. I do get wanting to be the trophy husband but you seriously don't have to throw yourself at her  _like this_ —”

“No, I'm marrying her because my  _father_  asked me to marry her.  _He_  wants the money,” Sasuke enlightened him. “Just getting engaged to her and the  _talk_  about a merge made our stocks skyrocket. So I'm really not throwing myself at anybody.”

“Do you plan to be married just on paper then? Like, I don't know, you'll both have some lovers and won't really live together?”

“No, that's bad press,” Sasuke muttered.

“In this case I strongly advise you to tell your father to think about something  _else_. This is a terrible idea, and I'm certain he doesn't want his son to be unhappy,” Naruto replied.

“You don't even know him,” Sasuke complained. “He wants to secure the future—”

“Sasuke, I wanted to say that you're smart enough to secure your own future but, then again, you think that this bullshit is a good idea, so I'm not so certain anymore,” the blonde blurted out.

“At least I’m smart enough to  _not_  take advise from someone I met less than a week ago,” Sasuke retorted. Naruto hummed under his breath. The bastard had a point. They did meet like four days ago, and they had their first actual conversation  _yesterday_.

“Then find someone, who knows you better than I do, and talk this through with  _them_ ,” Naruto suggested.

“He's  _dead_. Are you a spirit medium too?” Sasuke snapped at him.

Naruto breathed in. This sucked. This job sucked. Karin owed him for this. Seriously owed him. “And what do you think he'd say? I doubt he’d tell you to go ahead with this bullshit.”

“He’d,” Sasuke paused and shook his head, “take my place,” he finished, words pretty much falling out of his lips.

“Are you like a family of martyrs or something?!” Naruto wailed. “Just  _don't_  do it, it's really this simple. You'll call off the wedding, your stocks will drop a little bit, and then you'll make them rise again. For fuck's sake, it's not like you can't afford it,” he pointed out.

“You have no idea what you're talking about,” Sasuke replied. “And I think you're going out of character again. My boring photographer friend would just congratulate me and shut the fuck up.”

“Your boring photographer friend could as well throw you under a train then,” Naruto bit back. “You're literally paying me to help you ruin your life.”

“Then  _do your job_ ,” Sasuke hissed at him. Naruto turned his head to look at the idiot, who, as it turned out, has been glaring at Naruto for quite some time now.

“What if you were trying your best but it didn’t happen?” Naruto questioned.

“What?” Sasuke muttered.

“The wedding. What if you were doing your best, trying to be a good son, and all this jazz but it just kind of got ruined, there's no helping it now, and you're just free to not be miserable?” the blonde clarified.

“There’s no point in discussing things that aren't going to happen,” Sasuke replied.

“There  _is_  a point in it,” Naruto disagreed. “Especially since it  _can_  happen. Don't pay me to make this wedding happen, pay me to screw it up for you,” he chirped. “Nobody will ever know,” he promised.

“ _I_ will know,” Sasuke pointed out in a quiet voice.

“You’d be doing your father a favor. It's better to stop this from happening than to have it implode a few years from now. Because you  _do_  know that you can't possibly pull this shit off for so long. Sure, you can be faithful and act nice, but imagine if Karin stops being your assistant, and the person, who comes after her doesn't want to take care of your personal affairs? Or if they tell the press that your marriage is a scam? Or Sakura divorces you because you can't satisfy her? Like, I think it's easier to change your business strategy than do to damage control  _after_  the merge,” Naruto blabbered. “And you'd be saving both her and you from leading a miserable life as an unhappily married couple.”

“That's ridiculous,” Sasuke whispered, audibly taken aback.

“In the worst case scenario you'll get married. In the best case scenario you  _won't_ ,” Naruto pointed out. “You have pretty much nothing to lose, and I’d much rather use my talents for good than for evil,” he chuckled. “I can make it work, trust me.”

“How?” Sasuke mumbled out.

“I can make pretty much  _anything_  work,” Naruto smiled.

“So you  _don't_  know,” the jerk sighed, ruining the moment. Because they  _were_  having a moment. They totally were.

“Sakura thinks I’m staying at your place. I can come back to your flat, and we can discuss it together. You don't have to agree  _now_ ,” Naruto barked at him, feeling somewhat offended. “Just  _consider_ it. I'll make her  _not_  want to marry you. I could introduce her to someone, who would suit her better. I could make your father  _not_  want the wedding. She's pretty vocal and opinionated, you know? He's not going to like everything she writes,” the blonde continued. “C’mon, come back with me to the cockpit, let's relax together with the guys, and then, after we come back to your home, we’ll think and talk everything through.”

“…fine, I’ll humor you,” Sasuke sighed.

“That's the spirit,” Naruto chirped, sitting up, and wrapping himself tighter in the blanket. “Now  _come_ , it's kind of warmer there. And don't say anything to the guys. Let's keep it a secret, at least for now, okay?”

“So if I go there, you’ll be back to pretending that you're happy about absolutely everything?” Sasuke questioned.

“I hope I will  _actually_  enjoy myself in there,” Naruto corrected him. “But yes, I'll be back to being your best man. The one, who wants to congratulate you. Why? You suddenly have a preference for the one, who doesn't want to throw you under a train?” the blonde snorted. “Or do you want to meet Foxy again?”

“No offence but I  _don’t_  want to meet her,” Sasuke sighed. “I'm not in the mood for public embarrassment.”

“It's hardly public,” Naruto pointed out.

“Public enough,” Sasuke replied. “How long were you an exotic dancer?”

“Three years,” Naruto answered. The cabaret was where he met the other guys that used to work with him in the best men business. Shikamaru used to do lip syncing shows, and he's always looked comically impassioned about the whole deal. Chouji was Shikamaru's stage partner, he was way more active. Shino was one hell of a singer although he was more interested in the fashion aspect of the shows. Kiba was the only one, who’s never been a drag queen, he was just a regular male stripper. A pretty bi-curious male stripper but in the end he was all talk. And some groping. Kiba liked groping.

“You were pretty good at it,” Sasuke complimented him. Actually complimented him. As if it was a Sasuke thing to do. Naruto blinked at him. He  _knew_  he was good but he wasn’t exactly expecting others to tell him he was good. He usually had to do it himself. And Sasuke never struck him as a complimenting kind of person.

“Thanks,” Naruto mumbled out. “Come, let me throw you under that bus—”

“Train,” Sasuke corrected him, getting up.

“Train,” Naruto agreed. It  _was_  train. And this was the first time in ages since the last time his memory failed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chat me up guys, I'm absolutely CHARMING
> 
> and not even one bit awkward
> 
> a-hyuck
> 
> and on a more serious note: thank you for all of your comments, kudos, bookmarks and subscriptions :D!!! (give me moar)


	4. Chapter 4

Sasuke stifled a yawn. They were  returning from the port on foot because Kiba was still feeling sick, and the hotel wasn't too far away anyways. At least now they were pretty much alone, in different stages of drunkenness, with Kiba being the most sober one. Naruto and his—whoever they were to him—were talking about some movie or a game, and Sasuke didn't really care. He did, however, notice that they haven't discussed anything even remotely personal. He had no idea if it was just because _he_ was there or if they didn't want to get too close either. They sounded as if they simply worked together, as if there was nothing more to their relationship. Sasuke believed that _his_ relationship with Karin was more personal than _this_ , and it was strictly professional.

Almost.

Karin knew about him more than his fiancee. And she knew him better.

“Why are you scared of elevators?” Sasuke asked, interrupting a possibly thrilling talk about robots in disguise.

“Why do you care so much?” Naruto demanded to know with a groan.

“It's interesting,” Sasuke yawned.

“Things like this are usually irrational,” the blonde sighed, rubbing his face. Usually, Sasuke wouldn't ask about something like _this_ but it was one of two things he knew about the real Naruto, and he wasn't ready to bring up _Foxy_ again.

“Is it like this for you too?” Sasuke inquired.

“You're somewhat pedantic but I doubt you have a thrilling history to tell,” Kiba snorted. “And I, apparently, get seasick,” he sighed. “And yet I have nothing interesting to say about it. Things like this just _are_.”

“So there is no reason? Then are you afraid the elevator will just stop working or,” he paused, remembering that it wasn't just the elevators, “that you'll end up locked up in some weird place? What about caves?”

“I'd rather avoid a trip into a cave,” the blonde replied, his voice tired.

“What if I've told my fiancee that you're a cave enthusiast, and she wanted to go there with you?” Sasuke inquired.

“I've already told you that it's not like I can't deal with it,” Naruto reminded him. “But I'd still be grateful if you _didn't_ tell your fiancee anything like that,” he hissed. “You're sounding like a sadist,” he complained.

“I'm _not_ ,” Sasuke muttered. “But you've had to be forced to do things you don't like before,” he pointed out.

“So what?” Naruto questioned. “Everyone is sometimes forced to do things they don't like. I'm at least getting paid for it, and it doesn't last too long.”

“Is there something you _wouldn't_ do?”

“Yes, I don’t do illegal stuff,” the blonde groaned.

“You're gay, what if—”

“I'm _not_ ,” Naruto interrupted him. “I just didn't want your fiancee to try and hook me up with one of her friends.”

Sasuke slowly nodded, for some reason feeling cheated. It wasn’t his business. He had no idea why he even cared enough to ask. Naruto was someone he’s hired. And yes, his job _was_ unusual but prying into his private life must've felt annoying. Sasuke wouldn't have done this to Karin or any of his other employees, it was just plain _rude_ , not to mention how unprofessional.

“Sorry,” he apologized, deciding to shut up and stop asking questions.

“What are you even being sorry about?” Naruto complained. “I just think that if she did try to hook me up with someone, it's just unnecessary complications because that's one more person wanting to get to know me, and if, for whatever reason, she decided that she wanted to see me again…”

“Yeah, that's just troublesome,” Shikamaru chimed in with a yawn. “Being unavailable is easier.”

“I see,” Sasuke breathed out. It made perfect sense. What _didn't_ make sense was that he’d felt inclined to start that topic. He needed to get back on track and make it about the job again. “What if you had to defend things you disagreed with?”

“I simply try to avoid the subject altogether,” Naruto sighed. “I don't say anything unless I’m specifically asked to give my opinion. Why?”

“In my case you can say pretty much whatever,” Sasuke answered. “Just don't be rude.”

“I don't plan to discuss politics with your family,” Naruto snorted. “And I'm not telling your father that he's a buffoon, I don't want to get uninvited to the wedding,” he laughed. “I mean, if I don't appear there as your best man, I’m not getting paid,” he pointed out. Sasuke chose to ignore the fact that the idiot has just insulted his family. “Unless it's not _my_ fault, of course,” he quickly added. “If you suddenly call off this mess, you still have to pay me, I've kept myself available to you for an entire month—”

“Sounds fair,” Sasuke agreed. He stopped walking to look at the hotel, his hands shoved into the pockets of his glitter-covered pants, his shirt smeared with make-up. Naruto managed to mark him in the most ridiculous way possible. It didn't really bother him, though, and this feeling was a novelty to him. Usually, he _would_ be bothered by being smeared with weird substances.

“You're way too sober for someone, who's just returning from his stag night,” the blonde mumbled out.

“I'm not going anywhere, we’re already at the hotel,” Kiba muttered. “Have fun without me, I just want to go to sleep and forget that I've ever boarded that yacht.”

“I expected Shikamaru or Shino to be the party poopers but _you_ ,” Naruto whispered, sounding way too dramatic. He _liked_ being dramatic. “I did not expect _you_ to be boring,” he whined.

“At least I’m not going to fail your expectations,” Shikamaru yawned. “It's been a long night, so I plan to retire to bed and be _boring_.”

“You shouldn't have assumed I would be a party pooper,” Shino stated. “You hurt my feelings.”

“Okay, wow, _no_ ,” Naruto protested. “I just wanted Kiba to feel challenged—”

“And yet you've dissuaded me from continuing the drinking,” Shino replied in his monotone voice. He was the weirdest one in the bunch, Sasuke decided.

“Don't try to fuck with my head, man, I'm going to sleep,” Kiba said.

“No, no, no, _no_ , guys, don't do it to me,” Naruto wailed.

“It's fourth a.m., Naruto,” Shikamaru complained. “I'm going to sleep too. Tomorrow I have to spend like half a day at the airport. Have fun without me,” he added, waving at them, and disappearing behind the hotel gates.

“Shino, don't abandon me,” Naruto pleaded.

“You’ve brought this on yourself,” Shino whispered, and followed after Shikamaru with Kiba trudging right behind him, his hand still desperately pressed to his stomach.

“Chouji, at least you—”

“Sorry,” Chouji interrupted the blonde. “I need to wake up early too.”

Naruto glared after his—whoever these people were to him, and Sasuke couldn't stop the undignified snort from leaving his lips.

“You suck at this,” Sasuke said.

“I don’t _suck_ at this, they're just being assholes,” Naruto disagreed. “Bah, it's not like we need them anyways,” he huffed. “C'mon Sasuke, we’ll have fun without them,” he decided, grabbing Sasuke’s arm, and pulling him towards the hotel. “We'll just go to the hotel bar. It's pretty expensive and somewhat shitty but at least it's close—”

“Or we can just go to sleep,” Sasuke suggested.

“And give them satisfaction? Hell no,” Naruto protested. “I _am_ going to have fun,” he stated as if he was about to announce independence. “With you,” he added, sounding somewhat less certain. “Somehow,” he blurted out. “I'll make it work, I can make _anything_ work,” he said, probably to cheer himself up. Sasuke merely snorted at it, allowing himself to be amused.

They entered the hotel bar. It was dark, lit mostly with neon signs that weren't giving too much light, and populated with people, who would've done themselves a favor if they went to sleep. Well. It wasn’t any different for them, Sasuke supposed. He wasn’t even certain _why_ he agreed to this. It was stupid. So, so, _so_ stupid. They ordered their drinks at the bar, and somehow managed to find a free spot in the corner of the bar, on a spacious white couch.

“You're sitting too far away from me,” Naruto complained, scooting closer. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. He seriously doubted that their knees had to almost touch but apparently they did. It was what _friends_ did. According to Naruto, who probably didn't have any friends himself. “ _Shit_ ,” the blonde cursed, suddenly getting _way_ too close to Sasuke, who opened his mouth to protest but Naruto's was faster. “We’re dating, my name is Menma,” the man whispered right into Sasuke’s ear, his arm landing on the back of the couch, behind Sasuke’s head.

“What?” Sasuke muttered.

“Just go along with it, and,” he paused before taking a deep breath, “ _shit_ , come here, maybe they won't notice me,” he whispered, pulling Sasuke towards him. Well. _Trying_ to pull Sasuke towards himself because Sasuke refused to budge from his spot. “Can’t you just straddle me or something? My former client and his brother are here,” Naruto grumbled. “So stop being difficult and _come here_.”

“ _Maybe_ you shouldn't be bringing everyone to the same hotel, moron,” Sasuke hissed at him.

“ _Just do it_ ,” Naruto insisted. Sasuke took a deep breath.

“If they come here, it's better if they _don't_ see me straddling you,” he pointed out in a tired voice.

“Oh for fuck's sake,” Naruto scowled before he practically jumped into Sasuke’s lap. “You can always say I threw myself at you—”

“You _did_ ,” Sasuke hissed. It was the second time today when Naruto was sitting in his lap. Sasuke hasn't asked for it even once. And it wasn't making any sense.

“I wasn’t bringing everyone to the same hotel, just you and _him_ , and how was I supposed to know he'd be here?” Naruto murmured under his breath. “That guy kind of didn't take it well when our deal was over, so,” Naruto sighed, “just pray that he won't come here.”

“Hey, Menma,” some guy slurred in a booming voice. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto, who looked as if he wanted the ground to swallow him.

“Be my boyfriend, this guy won’t know who you are, he's even more asocial than you,” he pleaded in an erratic whisper. “Trust me,” he practically begged. “I wouldn't have done this if I thought that it would hurt you in any—”

“I hate you,” Sasuke interrupted him. “If anyone catches us, I'm going to say that you've asked me to do it to get rid of a clingy ex,” he stated. “Your lies are getting weak when you're panicked,” he noticed with a smirk. The smirk disappeared soon, Sasuke almost choked on air as Naruto cupped his face in two hands and pressed his lips against Sasuke’s, practically crushing them together.

“Don't look terrified,” the blonde murmured right into Sasuke’s mouth. Sasuke _wasn't_ terrified, this whole situation was just ridiculous. “This wedding was called off. It's kind of a sensitive case, so—"

“Menma,” the drunk guy called out again, this time from much closer. Sasuke refrained himself from moving his head to try and see him. At least now Naruto was partially covering him, and this was probably for the best. “It's you, right?!”

“Wow, I wasn’t expecting to see _you_ here, Kankurou,” the blonde chirped, leaning his head backwards. “Are you here for business or—”

“Kind of,” the man replied. The other one remained quiet. Sasuke wondered which one was the almost husband.

“I've been calling you,” the other man finally spoke up. Ah. So _this_ was the almost husband. He wasn’t calling Naruto by his stupid fake name. He sounded like death. He looked as if he hasn't slept in weeks.

“Oh, I had to change my number,” Naruto replied, sounding calm. “Sorry, Gaara, I lost yours,” he said, hooking his arm around Sasuke's neck as if he planned to choke him. “Just send it to me via email—”

“I already did,” Gaara interrupted him. “I've sent you countless emails, so—”

“Then I'll just check my spam folder, perhaps they—”

“Maybe these countless emails should stay there. Who the fuck are you?” Sasuke muttered, pulling Naruto a little bit to the side, so he could glare at the creep and his brother. Actually... why the guy even needed to hire Naruto if he had a brother? It wasn't making much sense.

“No reason to be jealous,” Naruto murmured, his fingers combing through Sasuke's hair. “I've actually known Gaara longer than you,” he added with a soft laugh. “He’s my close friend, I've already told you about him,” Naruto said.

“I'm _not_ jealous,” Sasuke protested. “But if he was such a close friend of yours, he would've had your new number,” he pointed out, his narrowed eyes fixed on the thin redhead. He didn't exactly look menacing, if anything, he looked more as if it was him, who was the bullying victim, and not the other way around but he did look desperate and lost, and this was probably one of the worst possible combinations.

“ _Rude_ , you have _no_ idea what you're talking about,” the brother chimed in. 

“You'll be discarded too,” the redhead whispered. “Naruto—”

“You're wrong,” the blonde forcefully interrupted him. “And now, if you'll excuse us, we're leaving,” he stated, jumping off Sasuke’s lap, standing up and pulling his arm to make him stand up too. Sasuke followed after him, careful to brush against the redhead's shoulder with his own as they passed him.

“I'm not wrong,” the guy insisted, sounding tired and pretty fucking close to crying. Sasuke had no idea what to make of it. Saying that the guy didn't take it well was an understatement. He clearly wasn’t able to accept the reality, and the reality was that Naruto didn't want to know him.

“We didn't come here just so you could leave,” the other man hissed.

“If you came here to look for him, you're creepier than I thought,” Sasuke barked. Bony fingers wrapped around his arm, biting into his flesh. “Let go of me,” Sasuke snarled. “I could easily beat you up, and I can afford a good lawyer—”

“Wow, okay, _no_ , stop,” Naruto cried, turning towards them again, his blue eyes fixed on Gaara’s fingers on Sasuke's bicep.

“I own this place, you might want to think twice before attacking me,” the redhead whispered. Sasuke slowly blinked his eyes. Judging from Naruto's face, he was just as surprised as him. “Naruto, I'm not letting you run away from me—”

“You've _bought_ this place to meet him?” Sasuke mumbled out. “We're leaving, if you'll try to stop us again, I'm calling the cops,” he threatened, grabbing Naruto's wrist, and forcing the man to follow him. Nobody stopped them, and neither said anything for the next few minutes. “We’re not staying the night in here,” Sasuke announced. “One of these freaks will eventually murder you.”

“You're kind of one of them,” Naruto breathed out, as if in a daze.

“I don't plan to buy an airline just because I saw you use it,” Sasuke muttered.

“People like you aren't used to hearing _no_ ,” Naruto sighed. “Sorry, Sasuke, I had no idea that he… we need to leave. _Now_.”

“I do understand what _no_ means,” Sasuke sighed. “And you should consider a career change. I have no idea what these people see in you—”

“I almost fucked him,” Naruto confessed. Sasuke merely stared at him.

“Why?” he questioned.

“He doesn’t even like sex but back then I was drunk and horny, and he literally offered me his ass, and I didn't say no until it was almost too late,” Naruto blurted out, sounding more and more panicked with every word he uttered. “And I shouldn't even be telling you this,” he realized.

“You're an idiot,” Sasuke replied, rubbing his forehead with straightened fingers.

“I was _drunk_ ,” the blonde protested.

“How often do you change apartments?” Sasuke growled at him. Naruto opened his stupid mouth but no sound left his lips. “Is it worth it?” Sasuke demanded to know. “So after you're done with me, you'll change your addresses, numbers, emails… you'll pretend that you were never here—”

“ _This is how it works_ ,” Naruto interrupted him.

“ _Is it worth it?!_ ” Sasuke repeated.

“Sasuke, I can't risk that someone I'll meet at the wedding will know the real me,” Naruto sighed.

“Seems like I'm not the only one, who's signing himself up for a whole life of lies, you're just living in a different lie every month,” Sasuke muttered. “But I at least don't have to worry that someone is so obsessed with me that they'd fucking murder me—”

“Nobody's going to murder me,” the blonde interrupted him in a hushed voice.

“Naruto, hotels are pretty fucking expensive,” Sasuke replied. “Besides, it's five a.m. already. What are the odds that he just _happened_ to be here? Naruto, someone had to call him and tell him that you've come. He made people look for you. It goes beyond your regular stalking—”

“I know, and I'm _sorry_ ,” Naruto sighed. “I'll make it right. He shouldn't try to do you any harm but if he will, I'll fix it,” he promised.

“Naruto, _this_ is a little bit more serious than a guy telling my fiancee I hired you,” Sasuke retorted. “This should be your wake up call, you should stop doing this altogether—”

“I knew what I was signing up for,” the blonde complained. “Lonely, rich people usually think they're special to me, and that we really are friends. They usually try to find and contact be afterwards,” he confessed. “I'm _good_ at hiding, so forget it.”

Sasuke let out a frustrated groan. The idiot was impossible. 

“If you ever feel like trying to start living like a normal person, give me a call,” Sasuke offered with a sigh. “Karin is about to be promoted, so I could hire you as my assistant, and if you don't want this, I can just write you references.”

“If you think you're the first person to offer me something like this, you're wrong,” Naruto barked at him. “And I've been offered better positions than an assistant,” he added.

“It's not negotiable,” Sasuke muttered.

“What,” Naruto huffed. “Anyways, I don’t want it,” he blurted out. “And now come, we need to wake the rest of the guys up, and get the fuck away from here,” he said. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. To him it was clear that Naruto was about to end rather poorly. And it seemed that when he finally would, Sasuke wouldn't even learn about it. Unless Karin told him. Out of her own free will because now Sasuke was guessing that Naruto actually had a reason for not wanting anyone to know what he was really up to.

* * *

Naruto drew a shaky breath, leaning against the doorway to Sasuke's living room. He felt as if he had a fever, he was tired and sleepy, and hated himself for feeling more secure in Sasuke's flat than he would in his own. It was already a few hours past noon, and while Naruto wasn't foreign to not sleeping for more than twenty-four hours, he still wished some meteorite hit the earth, so he could finally rest without worrying about what had to be done after waking up.

“I don't have another bed,” Sasuke informed him. He had dark shadows under his eyes, he was still wearing the same shirt and trousers he had on yesterday, it was now not only smeared with glitter and make up but also crumpled, and probably sweaty. Naruto waved his hand at Sasuke, letting him know he didn't care. “You may sleep with me or on the couch but I don't have any extra comforters or blankets,” he yawned. “Towels are in the wardrobe, so just grab anything, and take a shower, I'll go after you,” he rasped. He actually climbed the eleven flights of stairs together with Naruto, and didn't even comment on it. It was the same at the hotel. Oddly considerate of him.

“Thanks,” Naruto breathed out. “I'll take a nap, and then we’ll figure out how to ruin your wedding,” he promised.

“I'm not taking a _nap_ , I'm going to _sleep_ ,” Sasuke protested. “Hurry up, I'm tired,” he complained.

“Sure,” Naruto mumbled out, taking some soft towels, and disappearing in the bathroom. The guys weren't too happy when they learned about Gaara. Fortunately, none of them worked on that client together with Naruto but there still was the danger that Gaara would try to contact Naruto through them. It sucked, it seriously sucked. The blonde threw his clothes down on the cold tiled floor, somewhat surprised that it wasn’t heated.

He went under the shower, letting the hot water drench him, and the billowing steam wrap around him. Then he found some sleeping clothes in his traveling bag, and tucked himself into Sasuke's bed, enjoying the warmth. He could hear Sasuke take the shower. The sounds were soothing. It felt weird. It wasn't like he's never heard anyone taking a bath, it was just that usually he was waiting for that person to finish because they were supposed to leave or fuck, and today Sasuke was just going to fall asleep next to him. Odd.

When the man returned, smelling of soap and warmth, Naruto couldn’t refrain himself from enjoying the moment. He felt the weight rest on the mattress, heard the comforter rustle. Then there was just a soft sigh, and even breathing.

“You've made a total mess in there,” Sasuke complained, ruining the moment. “Did you even close the shower doors? There was water spilled _everywhere_ —”

“Am I supposed to get there and mop the floor _now_?” Naruto sighed.

“Did you miss the past tense? I already took care of it,” Sasuke yawned.

“Sorry,” Naruto yawned back, and shifted to turn and face the other man. Seeing how he's just ran away from one client to hide at another's place… it didn't make much sense. “I hope it means you won't buy that airline—”

“I wouldn't be able to afford it, I'm on a regular paycheck,” Sasuke replied. “Besides, I'm not a creep, and there's no reason for me to try to keep you as my _friend_ a month from now,” he whispered. “So rest assured, everything ends when it ends.”

“Seriously? I'm starting to think I earn more than you do,” Naruto snorted. Sasuke clicked his tongue. “So you really will be a trophy husband,” the blonde chortled. “Want me to take you shopping? I can take you shopping,” he offered.

“Shut up or go sleep on the couch,” Sasuke hissed at him. “At least I’m not walking around fucking people I shouldn't be fucking.”

“Shhh, Sasuke, don't cry,” Naruto laughed. “I'll buy you something pretty, I promise—fuck, calm down,” he whined when a pale finger painfully flicked his forehead. “I already have a bruise on my left calf thanks to you,” he cried. “You're loaded, it doesn't make any sense—”

“My parents are _loaded_ ,” Sasuke corrected him. “Nevertheless, I assure you that you don't need to take me shopping, I earn more than you do, and you can go eat a dick,” he concluded with a huff.

“Shame,” Naruto snickered. “You'd make a good trophy husband,” he confessed. Sasuke opened his eyes just to roll them.

“You're sending mixed signals,” the man stated. “Did you say that to Gaara too?”

“No, turns out Gaara has more money to burn,” Naruto replied. Still, Sasuke was right. “I’m just joking.”

“You've _fucked_ him,” Sasuke disagreed.

“I _didn't._ And sometimes that's all there is to it. It didn’t mean anything,” Naruto said. He knew it wasn’t entirely right or true. That had been a serious case of a clouded judgement. That had been being way too drunk, listening to way too many sappy stories, getting way too close. And Gaara had allowed Naruto way too much. The worst thing was that back then Gaara had been absolutely sober. He was lonely and desperate, and was willing to give everything he had in exchange for some sympathy. And Naruto went for it, only later realizing what he'd done, and stopping when they were both already naked and panting.

“Did you tell _him_ that it was a joke?”

“ _No,_ ” Naruto sighed. “Stop thinking about it, and start worrying about yourself.”

“Why was the wedding called off?” Sasuke questioned.

“He called it off after that _thing_ ,” Naruto confessed. “Because apparently being with her wasn’t making him feel even half as accepted and understood as hanging out with me. It's complicated, Sasuke. And it has nothing to do with you.”

“This guy is after you,” Sasuke retorted. “And right now you're working for me. Do you think he won't try to find out who I am?”

“I haven't used your name even once. The same goes for the rest of the guys. I rented that suite alone, and I paid extra to have it like this. I wouldn't endanger you,” he insisted. “If I see him again, I'm calling the cops, alright? So do try to chill out. He doesn't want to hurt me, he wants to _talk_ to me.”

“How are you still alive?” Sasuke sighed. “Literally everything about you is screaming _murder victim_.”

“And everything about you is screaming _trophy husband_ ,” Naruto retorted. “So let me care about my thing, and let me help you with yours, so we can both escape our destinies,” he suggested. Sasuke remained quiet for the next few minutes but he did manage to crack his eyes open to glare at Naruto. It had to take some serious dedication because if something was to explode just outside the bedroom window, Naruto was certain that neither of them would be able to care enough to stand up and see why they were going to die.

“If you wake up before me, let me sleep,” Sasuke sighed, and turned away from Naruto, who decided he would wait maybe thirty minutes before waking the bastard up too. They didn't have time to rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to cut it here because then there's the let's ruin the wedding part, and I didn't want to cut /that/ in half, and remember when I said I would update offside trap first and this thing on a bi-weekly basis? :Y
> 
> guess what i was doing pffft
> 
> also, i'm a little cray cray atm


	5. Chapter 5

Naruto stretched his arms, feeling pleasantly warm and soft. The bedroom was bathed in darkness. The shades were drawn but it seemed that the outside world was already dark too. The blonde turned on his other side to find Sasuke's side of the bed empty. He cursed under his breath, wondering how long it’s been like this.

“Sasuke,” he called, way too lazy to actually get out of bed and find the jerk. He was answered with a sound of soft steps, and then the doors opened to reveal the bastard looking as if he wanted to murder someone. He was holding a folder in one hand, he was pressing his phone to his shoulder and listening to someone speak, and in his other hand was a cup. “You look busy,” Naruto said, throwing himself on the pillows. Sasuke rolled his eyes and left the bedroom, saying something to the caller. About five minutes later the man returned, this time without the phone and the folder.

“Go home,” Sasuke ordered him.

“Sakura thought I was staying here. Where was I supposed to sleep? With you?” Naruto questioned.

“I guess she assumes there's another bedroom in here,” Sasuke answered. “She's never been here longer than five minutes, so she hasn't seen much aside from the living room,” he explained.

“Wouldn't it be more normal if I stayed at a hotel?” Naruto wondered.

“It was the middle of the night back then, and you didn't look like you were leaving,” Sasuke guessed. “I'm busy, so you need to go—”

“Why are you busy?” Naruto asked. He didn't  _want_  to leave. He didn't want to travel to his own flat in the middle of the night. He didn't want to wonder if Gaara somehow didn't find him.

“Because you've made me skip work,” Sasuke sighed.

“We were supposed to talk things through,” Naruto reminded him. Sasuke just shrugged his shoulders at him. “C'mon, you're pretty good at multitasking,” he said.

“Whatever,” Sasuke relented after a few seconds. He was already dressed but these were clearly his home clothes. Some sweatpants, a t-shirt, and a freaking cotton bathrobe. Quite different from the suit Naruto had seen him wear first two times they met. Not to mention the fact that Sasuke's hair looked as if some dog nibbled on them all night long. It all felt domestic. Awfully and disgustingly domestic, Naruto half expected to be offered a cocoa and a blanket but then he remembered that the jerk didn't own any blankets, and that he didn't like sweets, so the chances of him having cocoa at home were rather slim. “Make the bed,” Sasuke sighed, turned on his heel, and disappeared into the flat. It was surprisingly quiet in there.

“You're not my real mom,” Naruto yelled after him but he wasn’t graced with any actual answer even if he could swear he heard a quiet snort. When Naruto emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later, he found Sasuke reading through something on his laptop, listening to something on one of his earphones, and flipping through some papers. “Okay, wow, you should relax, you know? There's no way you'll get anything done like this,” he announced. Sasuke merely raised an eyebrow at him, simultaneously typing something on his laptop. “Or you  _will_  get things done like this,” the blonde admitted. He sat on the couch, pulling his legs close to him. “I could fix us something to eat,” he offered.

“The fridge is empty but you can order something,” Sasuke agreed. Naruto nodded, launched his phone, and started reading through the nearby restaurants menus, trying to find something edible. After ordering the food, he sat more comfortably on the couch, watching Sasuke work. “What did you get?”

“Some noodles,” Naruto answered. “Do you think Sakura would fall for me?”

“Is this your genius plan? If so, it's rather stupid,” Sasuke sighed in reply.

“Our personalities are a better match—”

“Yes, you're both exceptionally fake,” Sasuke agreed.

“I mean, you've put her under a dry spell, yes? So do you think she would cheat on you?”

“I doubt that,” Sasuke answered. “Besides, I don’t like the idea of my best man sleeping with my fiancee,” he added.

“I couldn't do it myself anyways,” Naruto huffed. “But she might like someone, who’s more like me, and less like you,” he chirped.

“I might not like her but she's still my fiancee,” Sasuke hissed. “I'm against hiring some idiot and paying him for trying to seduce her. It's sick,” Sasuke protested.

“I wasn't thinking about  _hiring_  anyone, I was thinking about having such a person nearby, and hoping things would naturally—”

“We have less than a month,” Sasuke muttered, highlighting something in his papers. “Think of something less shitty.”

“You can always come out as gay,” the blonde suggested. Sasuke merely clicked his tongue. “This would be the easiest way to fix everything. Nobody would expect you to marry a woman—”

“I'm a little bit too old to have an existential crisis right now,” Sasuke interrupted him. Naruto tilted his head.

“This thing you've said right now is  _incredibly_  stupid,” he commented. “Not that I'm surprised… no, wait, I  _am_  surprised. This is beyond stupid—”

“Do you have a point?” Sasuke asked in a calm voice, still focused on whatever was in front of him. Naruto made a face at him but, judging from a complete lack of reaction, Sasuke wasn’t looking at him.

“Yes, my point is that you're an idiot,” Naruto replied. “Alright, so what would be the deal breaker for your father? Sakura is a party girl, and she's willing to say and do anything that would be talked about. Do I pull out some scandal from the past or do you want a new one?”

“Can't you be more subtle about it?” Sasuke complained.

“How?” Naruto inquired. “What is your father afraid of the most? You've said he made these companies into his own  _empire_ , so I guess he's attached to them? He wouldn't want to see them change and lose their identity, yes? Sakura's are far more innovative and progressive,” he said. “What if she wanted to do something that would threaten—”

“Like what?” Sasuke asked. “It would have to be something major.”

“The companies that are going to merge both produce medical equipment, yes? But Sakura's is known better, so isn't it a better business decision to kind of remove you, and put their logo on everything?”

“Your understanding of it is very basic,” Sasuke commented.

“And you're just disagreeing to everything,” the blonde whined in reply. “Did your father work this hard just to make you disappear? Would you take Sakura's family name?”

“What?” Sasuke hissed.

“Hers is known better, and I think she would like the idea,” Naruto answered. “It makes sense, it's progressive, your father is going to flip out when he hears it.”

“Then she's just going to accept it. It's not like I'm forcing her to take  _my_  family name,” Sasuke pointed out. Naruto smiled at the man.

“But the kids—the ones you won't have—will be named after you,” he chirped. “After all, you need to prolong the line—”

“Shut up,” Sasuke barked. “It doesn't matter because there won't be any—”

“And we're the only two people, who are aware of it,” Naruto argued. “Will you even be able to get it hard for her?”

“I'll just take something to make myself hard,” Sasuke sighed. 

“It's not how it works, you still need to be aroused by things, drugs just make it easier for the blood to stay there,” Naruto lectured the other man. “So? Will you even be able to do it? Honestly, Sasuke, you don't exactly have an air of a sex crazed beast, so… I don’t know, I kind of doubt you. Provoke her and fail. Make her want to call it off too. Introduce her to your parents and make sure they say things she won't like.”

Sasuke finally looked at Naruto, his black eyes narrowed.

“I don't like it,” he eventually stated.

“It's either this or the marriage,” Naruto sighed. “I know it's not nice or fun but it's better than—”

“Just tell me  _how_ ,” Sasuke breathed out, rubbing his temples, and looking as if he was ready to order himself a plot on the cemetery.

“We need to put the idea with the surname into her head,” Naruto said. “I will take care of it. Or one of  _your_   _friends_ ,” he suggested and got up to stand behind Sasuke. “Then we will mention it during a dinner with your parents, and have them freak out,” Naruto continued, his hands landing on Sasuke’s tense shoulders.

“What do you think you're doing?” the man asked.

“Touching your shoulders in a soothing manner, jerk,” Naruto answered. “You're busy and stressed, and you need—”

“I don't,” Sasuke corrected him.

“Sasuke, I'm just trying to give you some physical comfort. I mean people don't touch you too often, right? Touch is good for your heart and immune system, and it lowers the risk of a mental breakdown,” he lectured. “The non-sexual touch, of course,” he clarified. “And you look like you need comfort—”

“I really don't,” Sasuke disagreed. Naruto breathed in, lifting his hands from Sasuke's shoulders, and leaning his upper body on the back of the armchair Sasuke was sitting on.

“This looks super boring,” Naruto yawned, glancing at the laptop screen.

“Trade offers aren't meant to be entertaining,” Sasuke sighed.

“Are you writing them yourself?”

“No, I'm just revising it,” Sasuke replied in a bored tone. “And seeing how you don't work for me, you shouldn't be reading it,” he added, closing his laptop, and tilting his head backwards to glare at Naruto. His eyes were kind of pretty if someone was into people, who looked, like they've just murdered all the magical ponies just because they couldn't deal with someone else being happy.

“Right now yours and Sakura’s company are competing, right? What if she got her hands on this?” Naruto asked.

“Someone would end up in jail,” Sasuke muttered. “Probably me because securing this data is in my job description,” he added. “Not to mention that I'm against endangering the—”

“What if it was just a provocation?” Naruto inquired, refraining himself from smiling when Sasuke's eye twitched. “What if someone sent her something that would better their position while endangering yours? I mean, it would just  _look_  like this but it wouldn't be real, so—”

“You'd be betting on her being a distasteful human being,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“It doesn't have to be the  _only_  thing we’d be doing. Or we could try to tempt her parents with it,” Naruto suggested. “Sasuke, from my experience, people don't make this kind of money by playing nice,” he sighed. “All these big companies have something they want to hide, and the only reason they  _won't_  use the data is if they won't believe it’s true, so you'd have to make it convincing.”

“It's  _illegal_ ,” Sasuke gritted through his teeth. “If it  _was_  legal, it would've happened a lot more often,” he pointed out.

“Okay, we  _won't_  do it then. Although if the legal side of things is the only issue you have with it—”

“We’re  _not_  doing this,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“I was kind of expecting you to be more of a business shark,” Naruto snorted.

“Would  _you_  be okay with something like this? It's sick,” Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“The only way to solve it nicely is if you come out to your family,” Naruto replied. “Or at least to Sakura. I seriously doubt she'd push for this wedding if she knew,” he said.

“Then it would be  _my_  fault that the merge will be called off,” Sasuke whispered.

“I wouldn't use the word  _fault_  but it's going to be your,” Naruto paused, making quotation marks with his fingers just like he's seen Sasuke do it so many times whenever he was repeating something he considered stupid, “fault anyways. She  _wants_  to marry you. Well, that projection of you but it still counts because its existence actually  _is_  your fault. However,  _you_  don't want to marry  _her_.”

“And you think that this surname bullshit is enough to—”

“Sasuke,” Naruto interrupted him, “Like I've told you before, the most mature, respectful and  _best_  way to fix this mess is coming out,” he stated. “You don’t want this, so the only thing left is screwing up and making everyone think that it wasn't  _you_ , who screwed up,” he said. “It's still better than going through with this marriage, though. And more merciful,” he sighed. “So,” he grunted, “first we’ll suggest her this  _surname bullshit_ , then we'll make her say something that your parents won't like, and  _hopefully_ , it'll be enough. And maybe she'll even see that you're way more interested in your parents' acceptance than in her love,” he concluded. “I can't guarantee you that it'll work since a lot depends on her being not careful, and your father flipping out for no reason whatsoever but it'll at least give you a chance,” Naruto sighed. “In the worst case scenario, I’ll propose a toast to you and your beautiful wife,” he added with the accompaniment of Sasuke's groan.

“You've said you could make it work,” the man complained.

“And I  _could_  but it's not like you're letting me do whatever I please,” Naruto whined. “But it's still better than doing nothing, yes?”

“I guess,” Sasuke admitted. Naruto sent him a sad smile, and returned to his place on the couch to wait for the food to arrive. A few minutes after he sat down, he could hear Sasuke's fingers tapping against the keyboard. It was a soothing sound. Soft and quiet. Naruto turned on his side to watch the other man type. He seemed completely engulfed in his work, barely aware of the fact that Naruto was still there.

“Your personality is less shitty than I assumed at first,” the blonde blurted out.

“What?” Sasuke barked at him without raising his eyes from the laptop screen.

“I was just thinking that it's kind of weird that you've never dated since you're almost thirty, and yeah, it's not like it's unheard of, but you're kind of handsome  _and_  successful enough to make people overlook your shitty personality but then I've realized it's not  _this_  shitty,” Naruto blurted out in one breath.

“I wasn't asking about your thought process,” the man groaned, finally looking at Naruto, who sent him a wide grin.

“Well, I'm guessing you've never dated either because you're uninterested in it or you didn't want to do it because your parents don’t know you’re gay, and you don't want to tell them,” Naruto continued. “If it's the first option: you go, Glenn Coco. If it's the second one, it's pretty sad.”

“I fail to see how it's  _your_  business,” Sasuke  gritted through his teeth. “If you're this bored, launch some movie. I don't have time to entertain you,” he huffed.

“You don’t have to entertain me,” Naruto mumbled out. “ _You_  hired  _me_ , remember?”

“I'm not paying you to entertain me,” Sasuke barked without losing a beat.

“Hun, you wouldn't be able to afford me if you wanted me to entertain you,” the blonde chirped. Sasuke raised an eyebrow and actually looked at Naruto.

“If you ever feel like calling me hun again,  _don't_ ,” Sasuke said after a few long moments, and returned to reading his boring shit. “I mean it, launch some movie and stop distracting me,” he ordered. Naruto made a face at him, well aware of the fact that it would go unnoticed. Then he smiled to himself, also knowing that Sasuke wasn't watching him. Theoretically, there was no need for Sasuke to agree to Naruto being there anymore. But he just kind of accepted him being there. It felt unexpectedly… nice.

The blonde reached for the remote, and turned on the TV, skipping through the channels. He frowned when he realized that most of them were just news. Naruto had no idea there even were so many news channels, and he had no idea why someone, who wasn’t speaking French, would need  _three_  French ones. Not to mention all these other languages Sasuke didn't know. It was  _so_ stupid. “I bet you’re watching  _maybe_  four of these news channels,” he muttered.

“Two,” Sasuke corrected him. “Rarely,” he added.

“Then why are you paying for almost one hundred?” Naruto mumbled out. “I've always known you’re pretentious but this is an overkill—”

“I'm not pretentious,” Sasuke protested.

“Bitch please,” Naruto snorted. “You're pretty much the most pretentious person I know—"

“I seriously doubt it,” Sasuke muttered under his nose. “I still haven't brought my lawyer to any meeting with you,” he reminded the blonde. “And as you can probably see, I actually own a t-shirt,” he concluded, sounding somewhat content with himself. Naruto smiled at the man, who was still focused on his whatevers.

“Clap, clap,” he cooed. “ _But_  you probably already have a lawyer, and they're right there in your contacts, and I bet they wouldn't get angry if you called them in the middle of the night.”

“That's his job,” Sasuke pointed out. “So  _yes_ , he doesn't get to get angry if I call him in the middle of the night. And if he does, it's in his best interest to hide it.”

“It's the same for me, I guess,” Naruto yawned.

“Just for three more weeks,” Sasuke said. “Then you're free to be some other guy’s best friend,” he added.

“Lucky me,” Naruto snorted, putting the remote away. He gave up on finding anything interesting on the TV, so he decided that he might as well watch politicians be bored out of their minds. He glanced at Sasuke. He was just like every single one of his previous clients. At the same time, he was nothing like them. He lacked the desperation that was so common among all these loners.

“Sakura knows,” Sasuke muttered out of the blue. Naruto raised his eyebrow in a questioning manner, feeling as if all of his blood froze over in his veins.

“She knows  _what_?” he demanded to know.

“It's your fault,” Sasuke hissed at him, his face pale.

“Calm down and tell me what's going on,” Naruto said, getting up from the couch and standing behind Sasuke. Then he saw it. One of these gossip sites decided to write a story about how  _Sakura's_ _fiancé_ was fooling around with boys less than a month before their wedding. The article was featuring a photo, that was obviously a still from the security cameras feed from the hotel bar. It showed the moment Naruto kissed Sasuke.  _“Shit_ ,” Naruto cursed.

“He already knows who I am,” Sasuke mumbled out. “It's been less than twenty four hours but—“

“Relax, I'll make it right,” Naruto whispered. “Tell Sakura that you were just helping me get rid of a nasty ex,” he said, “and I'll talk to Gaara—”

“Are you insane?!” Sasuke interrupted him.

“He leaked a photo from  _his_  hotel, that's bad publicity,” Naruto replied. “He’s not an idiot, and he can't afford to do something this irresponsible,” he argued. “I'll just tell him that—”

“He can tell everyone who you really are,” Sasuke protested. “He can  _easily_  find out where I live and—”

“He's not interested in you, he wants  _me_. And I'm calling him right this moment,” Naruto assured the man. Calling Gaara wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do, he hoped he could avoid it but he's been irresponsible, and Sasuke was right, it was all his fault, and it could've been avoided but Naruto just had to be stupid.

“I need to call Sakura,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“Tell her you were trying to help me get rid of a nasty ex. Tell her to not inform any of these sites to not escalate this whole thing,” he pleaded. “Wait, let  _me_  call her,” he decided. “Give me her number.”

Sasuke studied Naruto for a longer while before he  _finally_  decided it was for the best to just go along with what the blonde was proposing. Naruto breathed in, forcing himself to appear calmer than he actually was, and hit the call button. Sakura picked up after the first beep.

“Hey, it's Naruto, sorry to calling you this late,” he started.

“I should probably hang up on you,” the woman hissed at him. “You're trying to steal my Sasuke away, and you're not even being discreet about it—”

“Sakura,  _no_ ,” Naruto protested. “I've told you I've just went through a break up, yes?”

“And he's supposed to be your rebound?! He's a romantic, he's not someone you get to fuck because you're feeling bored and lonely, and  _he's my_ _fiancé_. Are you trying to break us apart just—”

“Sakura, please, let me finish,” Naruto sighed. “Sasuke was trying to help me get rid of my ex, the guy is kind of obsessed with me. I had no idea he was this obsessed, though. I'd never ask you or Sasuke to endanger your reputation for me like this, I've miscalculated,” he explained. Theoretically, he wasn’t even lying.

“Tell me the guy’s name,” she demanded.

“I don't want this to escalate more than it already has,” he replied. “I'll call him, and I'll try to get this slander off the site. Just give me some time, and don't doubt your fiancé, he’s devoted to  _you_ , not me. He's just a better friend than I deserve,” Naruto continued. The woman remained quiet for almost an entire minute, as if she was mulling the entire thing over in her head.

“Let me talk to him,” she pleaded, her voice shaking. “He's there with you, isn't he? I bet he is. He's never let  _me_  stay the night at his place but—”

“Sakura, I’ll hang up and tell him to call you, okay? Don't worry about anything, Sasuke's just kind of conservative when it comes to romance, I'm certain he didn't mean to offend you or wrong you in any way—”

“Does he even want me?”

Naruto took a deep breath. He didn't like this even one bit, he felt awful about himself and this whole deal.

“He's faithful to you,” he said instead. “I'll tell him to call you, and in the meantime I'll call the guy, okay? You need to talk to  _him_ , not to  _me_ ,” he pointed out. A shrill sound cut through the silent night air.

“My father is calling me,” Sasuke mumbled out, staring at his phone as if he expected it to blow up.

“Sakura, Sasuke's dad is calling him, so this talk might need to wait for a few more minutes, okay?” Naruto informed the woman, simultaneously gesturing Sasuke to pick up the phone. “He'll call you after he’s done with it, so  _please_ , stop worrying,” he pleaded.

“And what am  _I_  supposed to tell all these people feeling sorry for me?!” she growled at him.

“Tell them there's nothing for them to feel sorry about,” Naruto answered, watching Sasuke pick up the call. “That you know what it's all about, and that you'll tell them in few hours. I'll try to get you two an official apology, okay? Everything's going to be fine, I  _promise_.”

“Father,” Sasuke whispered into his phone, sounding way more collected than Naruto expected him to.

“Sorry, Sakura, I need to hang up on you. If you want, I'll call you later on, and explain everything better, okay?”

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke mumbled out. It was kind of heartbreaking to see him like this, this vulnerable.

“…okay,” the woman relented. “Tell him to call me as soon, as he can,” she pleaded.

“Of course,” Naruto replied.

“It's a misunderstanding,” Sasuke stated, his voice firm even though he had to be stressed beyond belief. Naruto squeezed the man's shoulder, and this time Sasuke did nothing to stop him.

“Sorry and thank you for being this understanding. Don’t worry about anything, I'll make everything right,” Naruto told Sakura before hanging up on her, and then focused all of his attention on Sasuke. “I can explain the situation to your father,” the blonde offered.

“I am aware of this,” the man replied but it seemed he was talking to his father, and not Naruto. “I'm working on it,” Sasuke continued, seemingly unwavering. Naruto let out a soft sigh, and gave Sasuke's shoulder a little rub to comfort him.

“Sasuke, it's my fault, so let me take care of it,” Naruto murmured after leaning forward. “I will take all the blame, there's no reason for you to sit through his lecture,” he argued. Sasuke merely shook his head.

“I know,” Sasuke uttered. Then he repeated the word  _yes_  at least ten times. “It's not what you think it is,” the man eventually blurted out. “I've told you it's a misunderstanding.”

After this came a litany of  _yeses_  and  _of courses,_ and  _I knows_. Sasuke wasn’t even trying to explain the situation in any way, he was just accepting whatever his father told him. Naruto took a deep breath. If Sasuke considered himself too old to  _have an_ _existential crisis_ , then he was also definitely too old to be scolded by his father like this. Unless this truly wasn’t a father talking to his son but a boss to his employee. Then everything made sense.  _Some_  sense. Not too much but  _some_.

“Yes,” Sasuke breathed out for the umpteenth time. “I will,” he promised, pulled the phone away from his ear, and put it on the table with a heavy sigh. It seemed like his father hung up on him.

“I can talk to him if you want,” Naruto offered.

“There's no need,” Sasuke grunted. He sounded kind of like an offended five-year-old. Naruto cracked a little smile, almost against himself.

“In this case you should call Sakura, and I'll call Gaara,” he whispered. “I’ll fix this mess, so don't worry.”

“You shouldn't be calling him,” Sasuke protested, sounding tired. “It's a terrible idea.”

“It  _is_  but it’s my fault, and I  _am_  going to make it right. The fastest way to do it is through calling him. This is what he wants,” the blonde argued. Sasuke tilted his head backwards to glare at Naruto, suddenly looking at least ten years older than just half an hour ago. “I'll make everything okay, so don't worry and call your fiancee. I've promised her you'd do it.”

“Don't call him,” Sasuke insisted.

“Daww, are you actually worried about me?” Naruto cooed at the man, mostly to annoy him. He wanted Sasuke to focus on  _his_  problems, not to ponder over why calling Gaara was a terrible idea. Naruto  _knew_  it was a terrible idea but work came first, and Sasuke was his client, and so his needs meant more than Naruto’s. It was this simple. “If you want, we can just marry in secret and cause a scandal. Do you prefer me to wear a dress or a suit?”

“I'm not interested in scandals,” Sasuke replied with a frown.

“In this case I need to call Gaara, and you have to contact Sakura,” Naruto said and sent the man a cheeky smile. “Shame because I'm certain I'd look amazing in a wedding dress,” he added against his better judgement.

“Nobody's going to see it if you want to marry in secret,” Sasuke pointed out in a flat voice, seemingly unfazed by the idea. “I'm not in the mood to fool around.  _Don't_  call him—”

“It's just a phone call,” Naruto interrupted him. “I'll give you some privacy, okay? So do talk to your fiancee,” he ordered the other man before storming off into the bedroom. Mere seconds later, the bedroom doors were thrown open, and Sasuke marched into the room, looking ready for a brawl. “What's gotten into—”

“What's  _so_  enticing about calling your fucking future murderer?!” Sasuke growled at him, standing in the doorway, his hands resting on the wall, looking like wings of a bird of prey.

“I decided I miss him,” Naruto barked at him. “It's not your business, Sasuke,” he said.

“It  _is_  if you're calling him for  _my_  sake,” Sasuke disagreed. “I’m not interested in being a goddamn accomplice to a murder.”

“In this case: don't worry, I'm calling him for  _my_  sake. I don’t want him to blow my cover, you see,” Naruto chirped. Sasuke merely looked away. “It would make this and future jobs insanely more difficult.”

“You should…,” Sasuke started but then his voice trailed off, and so what once was an angry growl, turned into a whisper, and then died completely. “Whatever, just know that I'm not attending your funeral,” he hissed, and slammed the doors closed as he left the bedroom. Naruto slumped on the bed.

“I'm not expecting you to, and it's not like you're invited there,” he yelled after the man but he didn't return.

For some reason Naruto thought Sasuke  _would_  come back and argue some more. The fact that he didn't was surprisingly disappointing. The blonde knew he was being stupid and ridiculous, and whatnot, but he still couldn't stop the frustrated sigh from leaving his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bah i'm kind of late but i was super busy
> 
> i promise that i do plan to return to the harmless comedy SOON :'D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it has the length of two chapters, and contents of one half of one
> 
> lo and behold

“Gaara,” Naruto breathed out, greeting his former client, who picked up the phone after Naruto tried to call him _seven_ times. And this was why the blonde felt actually _relieved_ when Gaara picked up, and not anxious. “We need to talk,” Naruto stated. He was guessing that Gaara was already freaking out. And it wasn't like he wanted to fuel the freak out with the _we need to talk_ line but he felt like he had to. Because Gaara stepped _way_ out of the line.

“…Naruto,” the man whispered in reply. “You called me.”

“Doing the shit you've just done is not the right way to make me talk to you,” Naruto told the man.

“…but we _are_ talking,” Gaara noticed. “Before, you were just ignoring me.”

“Gaara, I've told you that I'm sorry about making you think there was something more because there never was anything more,” Naruto sighed. “Right now you're about to ruin my and one other guy’s lives. Not to mention that you've shared the security footage with a freaking gossip site. You _can't_ do this.”

“I've told you I just wanted to _talk_ but you weren't listening,” Gaara growled at him.

“And we're _not_ going to talk unless you fix this mess,” Naruto barked at him. “If you _don't_ fix it, I'm first going to sue you, and then I'll disappear on you. And this time you won't be able to find me.”

“It's not like you've made it easy this time,” Gaara hissed. “Come to me, and I'll fix this. I don’t believe that you'll actually talk to me if this thing won't be hanging over your head—”

“Gaara, if you don't fix this shit this instant, this job will be finished for me. I will move away, and completely change jobs. If you'll fix this shit, I'll be forced to stay here for three more weeks. That's plenty of time to _talk_ ,” Naruto retorted. “Don't waste finding me because I’ll make sure you won't be able to do it again.”

“If you don’t come to me this instant, I'll tell this guy’s family and fiancee what you are,” Gaara whispered back in a tense voice. “You're not the only one, who can threaten—”

“I'm _not_ threatening you,” Naruto scowled. “You are. You're blackmailing me and Sasuke, and—”

“I really don't care about his name. You _know_ that what we've had was special. You're just afraid, so you need a little push—”

“ _This is not a little push_ ,” Naruto protested way louder than he intended. He paused for a moment, trying to listen to what was going on behind the bedroom doors. He couldn't hear anything. He was hoping it was because the rooms were soundproof, and not because Sasuke heard what they were talking about. “Let's make a deal,” Naruto sighed. “I bet you didn't send this photo and story to them as you, so be this nice, and threaten the site with a lawsuit or something, and I'll get to you this morning,” he offered with a heavy sigh. “If you do something like this again, I won't bother with calling you, so don't even _think_ about giving me another push,” he gritted through his teeth.

“I can pay the guy. Just resign from this job and come to me,” Gaara insisted.

“ _No_ ,” Naruto protested. “We’re doing this on my terms or not at all,” he muttered. “And don't expect me to bring you flowers, I'm mad at you, and I don’t think there's anything you can do to recover from this. And if you try to mess with Sasuke again, I’ll destroy you.”

“I'm sorry but it's your fault, you were avoiding me—”

“I have every right to avoid you,” Naruto interrupted the man.

“After everything we've been through, you're just—”

“Everything we've been through was a lie,” Naruto growled. “I forgot myself _one_ time—”

“You've allowed yourself to be true to yourself _one time_ ,” Gaara disagreed with him. “You can't deny that we've had something special—”

“I'm happy the way I am right now,” Naruto interrupted him. “We can _talk_ but that's all I'm offering you. You've betrayed my trust—”

“You've betrayed my trust as well,” Gaara snarled at him.

“I've told you that everything was going to be fake during the first thirty minutes of our acquaintanceship,” Naruto sighed.

“It didn’t feel fake,” Gaara protested. “We've went beyond the contract, and you know it.”

Naruto cursed under his breath. He was tired. It was tiring, it was all tiring. “Gaara, are you going to remove that article for me or not?”

“…it can be arranged. I know the editor personally,” the man eventually confessed. “I can make it disappear.”

“I want an official apology too,” Naruto continued.

“It's not so easy,” Gaara said.

“ _Maybe_ you should've first blackmailed _me_ with the picture, and _then_ send it to some moron to publish it,” Naruto hissed at him.

“I'm _not_ blackmailing you, I'm trying to help you,” Gaara protested. “Don't make me into a monster just because you can't be honest with yourself—”

“I want an official apology too,” Naruto repeated. He heard Gaara sigh.

“Fine. I'll send a car to your house. By the time it gets there, everything should be already fixed,” the man murmured. “Feel free to make it wait if, for some reason, the article is still online.”

“I'm not at my house,” Naruto mumbled out. He flinched when he heard a soft knock on the bedroom doors. “You have time until 8 a.m.,” he continued. “I'll get to you myself—”

“You're at his place, aren't you?” Gaara inquired in a grave tone. “It doesn’t matter. I can send the car to his—”

“ _Don't_ send any cars,” Naruto barked. “I can get to you myself, don't make it creepier than it has to be.”

“…fine,” Gaara eventually relented. “I'm at the hotel. I'll pay you back for plane and everything—”

“You really don't have to. Better focus on making this shit disappear,” he ordered, and hung up on the man. Naruto slumped on the bed, and raised his phone over his head to glare at it. Just like he expected, the screen lit up mere seconds later with Gaara calling him again. Naruto sighed, and wrote a one-worded text to him, reminding the man about the article. Then he heard the knocking again. “It's _your_ bedroom,” he yelled without raising himself from the bed. He expected the doors to be thrown open, and that Sasuke would storm into the room but no, everything ended up being way softer. Sasuke even slumped on the bed next to Naruto. “What is it? I can call her again,” he offered.

“There's no need,” Sasuke replied. He didn't say anything afterwards, and seeing how he insisted on getting into the bedroom, where Naruto was, was making less and less sense with every second of silence.

“Why do you look so down?” Naruto questioned. “Something’s happened or—”

“She wants me to prove her that I _want_ her,” Sasuke muttered.

“Tell her you're not in the mood,” Naruto advised, and turned on his side, propping his head on his hand. Sasuke shook his head, and rubbed his eyes and temples, looking absolutely exhausted. “Sasuke, you can't do something against yourself, not like this,” Naruto sighed. “It's different from having to eat something you don't like.”

“You don't look too happy either,” Sasuke pointed out, probably just to change the topic.

“I'm just tired. The article should disappear by 8 a.m.,” Naruto replied.

“Just like this?”

“Just like this,” the blonde sighed. He jerked up when he heard the doorbell. Was that Gaara or—. “Don't open the doors,” he wailed when he saw Sasuke get up from the bed. The man raised an eyebrow and sent him a questioning look. “Just stay here, I'll make everything right, so,” he blabbered.

“It's probably just food,” Sasuke replied, his forehead creased. “Are you expecting somebody else?”

“…no,” Naruto lied, feeling incredibly stupid. Of course it was just food. It had to be food. Besides, there were security cameras all over the building, and Gaara wasn't crazy enough to do anything actually violent. Well, _physically_ violent. “I'll get the doors—”

“I'll do it,” Sasuke interrupted him. “And then I want to hear why you'd need to _make everything right_ if all you’re expecting is a box of noodles,” he added as he left the bedroom. He was back less than three minutes later. “We’re not eating in bed,” he announced. “Come, you have some explaining to do.”

Naruto didn't really reply to it, he just got up from the bed, and followed after the other man, who handed him the food only after Naruto was seated by the kitchen table. The blonde unwrapped the paper box, and looked inside, as if he was expecting to find a bundle of worms there but no, it was just perfectly normal noodles. Deliciously smelling noodles. And yet Naruto felt significantly less hungry than just a moment ago.

“So? Whom were you expecting? That psycho?” Sasuke inquired.

“No,” Naruto answered. He wasn't even lying. He expected to see someone, whom Gaara was paying, not Gaara himself. “Sorry, I'm just stressed. Can't we just pretend for fifteen minutes that everything is fine?”

“Fifteen minutes,” Sasuke agreed. The blonde smiled at the man, who clearly thought that pretending everything was fine meant not talking.

“It's a shame that you don't have a balcony here,” Naruto chirped. “We could eat there. It looks like the night is pretty,” he noticed. “Should be warm enough. But you still should buy yourself a blanket or two.”

“I can open the window,” Sasuke offered, sounding uncertain.

“It's not the same,” Naruto insisted. “To be honest, if you don’t have an actual garden, the balcony is the next best thing. I always have one or the other,” he confessed.

“I've never taken you for a gardener,” Sasuke said.

“I have a bunch of plants. Some I owned for over twenty years,” Naruto sighed.

“I believe I've managed to kill every single one of mine,” Sasuke snorted. “It takes me about half a year to finish one off—”

“Barbarian,” Naruto commented with a short laugh. He was slowly calming down, becoming less and less jumpy with every silly word that fell off their lips. Now he could even appreciate the taste of the noodles that went absolutely unnoticed for the past few minutes. “Alright, fine, I'm good, let’s talk for real now,” he breathed out.

“Good. What are you afraid of?” Sasuke inquired.

“ _Nothing_ ,” Naruto replied. “Let's focus on you, shall we—”

“You first,” Sasuke disagreed. “I think I deserve to know why you're stressed.”

“Gaara wanted to see me, and I agreed. So I'll go see him later today,” he answered. Sasuke didn’t say anything to that, he didn’t even blink. “Chill, he's not the first person I have to deal with, so it's mainly annoying. It won’t affect you in any way, I swear,” he promised.

“So far, you haven't been right about the guy even once, so I don’t plan to _chill_ ,” Sasuke hissed at him. “Stop pretending you have everything under control because you clearly _don’t_ have anything under control,” he muttered.

“I _do_ ,” Naruto whined. “It's just a little hiccup, nothing you have to concern yourself with,” he mumbled out. “And now let's focus on _you_ ,” he proposed. “You're the client here, right? You wouldn't ask the person selling you bread if they have everything under control—”

“The person, who's selling me bread, probably won't get to meet my family,” Sasuke pointed out in a cold tone.

“Your family is going to love me,” Naruto replied. “Just trust me and let me fix it, alright? I'm just going to have a quick talk with him, and everything will go back to normal. I'll make sure Gaara won't even dare to say your name ever again.”

“No offence but you don't look especially threatening,” Sasuke muttered. “Get him a restraining order, and be off with it.”

“Getting a restraining order takes _time_ ,” Naruto sighed. “We _don't_ have time. Relax, been there, done that. It's nothing new to me.”

“Why haven't you changed jobs yet?” Sasuke asked.

“Because I _like_ this job. It's not like every single one of you guys is a complete nutcase,” the blonde answered. Sasuke frowned at him.

“Whatever,” he sighed.

“So. What are you going to do about Sakura?”

* * *

 

Sasuke glared at the idiot. He was tired of being treated like the rest of the idiot’s _clients_. He was tired of getting married. He was tired of having to prove everyone around him that he was _good enough_. “Will you go see the creep if I fire you?”

“ _What_ ,” Naruto choked.

“I'll tell Sakura you had to bail on us,” Sasuke continued.

“Then what about the wedding—”

“I'll just make it happen,” Sasuke interrupted the moron. “She won't be surprised that I don't have another best man, she knows I'm a loner.”

“I can't just leave you like this,” the blonde complained. “Look, I know I've screwed up but I _will_ make everything alright. You won't even remember this whole Gaara thing in a week,” he blabbered.

“I'll pay you the whole fee if this is what you're concerned about—”

“ _No_ ,” Naruto protested.

“Why?” Sasuke inquired.

“Because I don’t want you to end up miserable, and you're already on your way there,” the blonde barked. “I'll fix it, _let me_ fix it.”

“I thought my offer was _tempting_ ,” Sasuke replied. “You get your cash, you're free to avoid the psycho, and you get three weeks off,” he noticed.

“And all _you_ are getting out of this is a bigger mess than the one you started with,” Naruto complained. “So don't do this. I'll make it work.”

“Where did you get your savior complex from?” Sasuke asked. “You keep saying that you'll make everything alright and fix it but who's going to fix stuff for you?”

The moron just looked at him, his blue eyes empty, like those of a porcelain doll. “I'll manage on my own,” Naruto eventually whispered. “So let me help you.”

“Are you suggesting that I won't manage on my own?”

“Yes,” Naruto answered almost immediately. “You're about to marry someone you don't want to marry, someone, who's not even your friend, and who probably _won't_ become your friend, someone you're not attracted to but this someone _is_ attracted to you. You can't say _no_ to your father, and I have yet to hear you saying no to your fiancee. You're closeted only for the,” he paused to make quotation marks with his fingers, probably just to unnerve Sasuke, “ _sake_ of other people because I think that you yourself are fairly comfortable with it,” Naruto continued. “So yeah, I don't think you'll manage on your own. I'm not psychic, but I'm pretty certain that if you kick me out, you'll end up as one of these husbands, who are never home, and the only times you'll be interacting with your spouse will be when she’ll need you as an accessory for some outing. It can hardly be called a life, Sasuke. And you deserve to be actually happy, I see that you _can_ be happy,” the blonde said. He was speaking so fast that it was barely intelligible. “Seriously, Freud would've had a field day with your daddy issues—”

“ _I don't have daddy issues_ ,” Sasuke protested, almost choking on his breath.

“You _do_ ,” Naruto huffed at him. “Your daddy issues are triggering my maternal instinct, and I had no idea I've even had one,” he whined. “Can I make your daddy love you for who you are? _No_. Can you make your daddy love you for who you are? Also _no_. Should you try to be a decent human being? Yes. Should you try to appease your father no matter what? _Hell no_ —”

“And now you're a therapist too,” Sasuke growled at the idiot. “ _Really_ , is there anything you _can't_ do—”

“There's no need for the sarcasm,” Naruto grunted.

“Then get off my case because it’s not like you have anything under control right now,” Sasuke muttered. “Face it, your life is a mess too. I can at least admit that mine is.”

“Clap, clap,” the blonde grumbled. “I'd give you a golden star if I had one on myself.”

“Stop being stupid,” Sasuke complained. The both of them remained quiet for the next few minutes. Sasuke was missing the talk about the plants and balconies. It was stupid but it was also at least somewhat pleasant.

“What are you going to do about Sakura?” Naruto mumbled out, his blue eyes glued to the wall. “Don't force yourself to do something you don't want to do—”

“What else am I supposed to do then?” Sasuke inquired. “It's not like she's left me any choice. She doesn't believe that I'm interested in her, so telling her that _I'm not in the mood_ , as you so cleverly suggested, will just prove her right.”

“I can crash your date,” the moron offered. “You'd have to go halfway through the foreplay though. You'd tell me when you want to do the deed, I’ll get somewhere close, and I'll come visit you after thirty minutes or after you send me a signal to come—”

“Are you Batman now?” Sasuke muttered.

“I thought about calling me or sending me a text but sure, huge light in the sky works too,” Naruto replied, sounding ridiculously serious. “Should I come in my black latex suit or is a regular t-shirt alright too?”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Sasuke sighed.

“Sasuke, any thoughts about the idea to crash your date?” Naruto asked. “It's not perfect but it's better than nothing.”

“It's suspicious,” Sasuke pointed out in a flat voice.

“Yes, she will suspect that we've staged this but it's so ridiculous she will be embarrassed to bring it up,” Naruto snorted. “And a _lot_ depends on how convincing you'll be before I get here to save you—”

“I don't need you to save me,” Sasuke snarled.

“Fine, _before I get here_. So, how convincing can you be?” the moron questioned. “If you want, I have everything in my bag, so you can train on me—”

“ _What_ ,” Sasuke stammered.

“Just show me what you've got. I can give you some pointers, too. Sasuke, I'll be honest with you, I have no idea how it feels when you're _not_ attracted to one gender or another, so if you think that what I'm suggesting feels like too much, just tell me, and we'll find a way to make it work—”

“ _Excuse me_?!” Sasuke mumbled out.

“We're both sober, we both know we don't want anything to go further than it needs to go, and I'm just creating a safe environment for you to—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke protested.

“Why?” the idiot asked as if it was supposed to be an actual question, as if he genuinely expected an answer, as if he wanted Sasuke to elaborate on the subject.

“Isn't it obvious?” Sasuke tried.

“We don't have to do it if you seriously don't want to but I think you should at least consider it. Or we can just talk this thing through, no touching involved. It'll just be easier with touching. _And_ I think it would be easier for you if you did familiarize yourself with touching because you _will_ have to touch Sakura. You can safely screw up with me without worrying about a thing but—”

“And now you want to give me sex ed,” Sasuke mumbled out. “You're not just weird, you're actually crazy, aren't you?”

“Everyone's a little crazy,” Naruto agreed. “But I’m harmless, so don't worry. It’s just you and me here, so if you're embarrassed about me telling someone about it, don't be.”

“I still can't believe you've actually offered something this ridiculous,” Sasuke sighed, hiding his face in his joined hands. “Is this _normal_ for you or—”

“Yes, giving people advice _is_ normal for me. I don’t usually let them grope me, though,” the dumbass laughed. “But hey, there's a first time for everything—”

“Forget it,” Sasuke insisted. He was fairly positive he wouldn't be able to live this thing down if he actually went with it.

“It's your choice,” Naruto replied. “If you change your mind, let me know because the offer still stands—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke repeated.

“Okay. Then are we going through with the _crash the date_ plan or are you just going to tell her you don’t want to have sex with her? Because if you're planning to go all the way with her, it might feel worse than fooling around with me. I mean, she _is_ going to judge you,” Naruto informed him as if he was discussing weather. “If you want to pull this off, it's not like it's impossible, at least not for everyone but having sex you don't want to have is… awful, seriously awful. I can promise you to not touch you back, I can be as passive as you want me to be—”

“Do you _seriously_ think that this shit you've just suggested should be in your job description?” Sasuke interrupted the moron.

“Well, _no_ , because I should have a say in it too but I do have my say in it now,” Naruto answered. “I wouldn't offer this to just anyone. I also don't put on drag for everyone. Some of my clients are douchebags. You're not a douchebag, you just talk like a jerk.”

“I talk like a jerk,” Sasuke repeated.

“Yeah,” Naruto chirped. “So? I have over five more hours before I have to go. What's your decision?”

“Absolutely not,” Sasuke muttered. “I need to get back to work, and you,” he paused, realizing that he had no idea what Naruto was even still doing at his place, “you just have to stop distracting me,” he concluded.

“When is she supposed to come?” Naruto inquired, apparently unfazed by being rejected.

“Today evening,” Sasuke answered.

“You'll be _exhausted_ ,” the blonde complained. “Won't you get anxious? I hope you won't freak out prematurely, like, a lot depends on—”

“Fine, whatever, if it'll make you shut up, do your thing,” Sasuke barked at the moron.

“Sasuke, being your other Sakura isn't really my plan, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable _twice_. I just want you to do all the stupid shit now, so you'll know what to do later. I'm all about confidence boosts,” Naruto lectured. He fucking lectured. As if he had the right to make himself sound as if he was saying something smart and important.

“How can I make you shut up?” Sasuke complained. “I'm pretty certain I can handle this, and you acting like I _can’t_ isn't giving me any confidence boost. I seriously doubt I need to get your seal of approval,” he gritted through his teeth.

“Shit, you're right, _sorry_ ,” Naruto blurted out. “Then just tell me when exactly you want me to come and crash the party,” he murmured.

“Will you even be able to make it back from the psycho cave? Because he's _not_ coming here, right?” Sasuke questioned. “Do you have someone, who can go there with you or—”

“I don’t need anyone to come there with me,” Naruto interrupted him. “And don't worry, I’ll make it back no problem.”

“I can send Karin with you,” Sasuke offered. “She’s your cousin, and she actually knows how to make things work.”

“ _Actually_ knows how to make things work,” Naruto repeated, rolling his eyes.

“I can just ask her to call me later and say I must immediately return to the company,” Sasuke pointed out. “And since the worst thing that could've happened, happened, you really don't have to see that psycho,” Sasuke sighed.

“I've told you to not concern yourself with it,” the blonde grunted. “I'll be back before you know it. And I'll come here right on time too. Where are you meeting?”

“Here,” Sasuke answered. “At 8 p.m.,” he added.

“Then I'll be here thirty minutes later,” Naruto promised.

Sasuke nodded because there wasn't much more to say, got up, collected the empty noodle boxes, threw them into the bin, and left the kitchen to return to his _boring_ trade offers. Naruto soon followed him but this time the man just lied on the couch, and focused on some movie he finally found. It was… unexpectedly pleasant. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it was companionable. And yet, as everything was going back to normal because, apparently, they had everything figured out, Sasuke was growing more and more restless, realizing that even though Naruto was blunt, he was also right about a few things.

Sakura _was_ going to judge him. Sasuke needed her to believe that what he felt towards her was genuine lust, and not indifference. He wasn’t going to make it. He caught himself rereading the same sentence over and over again, so he cursed under his breath, leaning backwards, and rubbing his closed eyes with straightened fingers.

“Is something wrong?” Naruto quietly asked.

“Everything,” Sasuke muttered.

“I can make you some coffee if you want. Or, since you probably _don't have_ any coffee in here, I can go out, and bring you some,” the blonde offered. “There's a gas station nearby, right? They have an alright coffee.”

“I _have_ coffee in here,” Sasuke complained.

“Tell me where, and I'll make you some,” Naruto yawned.

“The cupboard next to the one with glasses. I don’t want any coffee, though,” Sasuke informed the blonde. “There's also some tea in there if you want.”

“Then why are you sighing?” Naruto asked. “If I'm bothering you, I can just leave. Me being here is just me being lazy,” the man confessed with a short laugh. Sasuke shook his head. Naruto had been disturbing him before but now he was quietly sitting on his ass and watching some movie about a gruesome future. “I’m serious Sasuke, talk to me, I have many talents but I can't read your mind.”

“How do I keep Sakura busy for thirty minutes?” Sasuke finally inquired.

“Offer her some wine. She likes the pink one, right? So you should probably buy some,” the blonde advised him in a level voice, as if the question Sasuke had asked was as exciting as asking about the hour. “Then, if I were in your shoes, I'd sit next to her on the couch, grab her by the shoulders and kiss her. I would move my hands lower—and, preferably, her arms are naked. If she's wearing some jacket or something like this, I'd take it off. If she's wearing a long sleeve, I'd let my hands move down until they would reach her wrists, and then I'd slowly shove my fingers under the hem of the sleeve,” Naruto continued in an equally bored tone. “She probably won't remain passive, so at this point her hands will be either on your chest or on your thighs. We don't want her to get too adventurous, so you should push her down on the couch, so she would end up under you. Then I'd lean over her, tell her how good she's looking, and plant a kiss on her neck. Try to make it a rather dry one, not too many people are into spit-covered lips. If she bares her neck, sighs, moans or reacts in any other positive way, that's good because you can waste some time there. If she looks like it's tickling her, she's either not horny enough yet or she doesn't like neck kisses.”

“You make it sound robotic,” Sasuke said.

“People do vary from one another, and they do have their quirks but some shit works on almost everyone,” Naruto replied. “She won't be expecting you to pull off anything freaky during your first night together, so she should be happy with the vanilla stuff,” he added. “So, coming back to the neck thing—you can kiss her there or nibble on her skin, and remember to pull away every once in a while, it feels nice when you can feel someone’s hot breath on your neck, especially if it contrasts with the cold air. If you're doing this right, she'll get goosebumps. Since you're starting with some wine, and then kissing, and then this thing, you should have kept her busy for at least fifteen minutes. If she wants to take control or goes straight for your dick, just tell her you want to make her feel great or lose control, or whatever, just _stop her_ ,” he advised. “You need to assume a position in which her hands can't go straight for your dick. And wear some thick jeans, if you're lucky, she'll mistake the zipper for erection. But that works only if she can't see it or actually touch it. Don't worry if it won't happen, though, like, she shouldn't expect you to spring into action immediately.”

“ _Right_ ,” Sasuke coughed. It was ridiculous. He felt ridiculous. Especially because he _was_ , as Naruto eloquently put it, springing into action. He felt pretty grateful that he was hidden behind the table and the laptop, and that he had the bathrobe on because perhaps _this time_ Naruto wasn't going to notice it. Because the _springing into action_ had nothing to do with his fiancee, and almost everything to do with Naruto. It was stupid. Naruto sounded _bored_ out of his mind. It wasn’t even about _what_ Naruto was saying, it was more about the idea of Naruto having sex. In general. Not even with Sasuke, just… _having sex_. Sasuke blinked a few times, trying to get over his own stupidity.

“I can show you,” the blonde offered.

“No, thank you,” Sasuke blurted out.

“Are you certain you can pull this off? I know I'm making it sound easy but, well, it won't be,” the man sighed. “And I’d say it's pretty mean towards her too but she's kind of forcing you to prove her something stupid, so,” his voice trailed off. Sasuke cleared his throat. “Well, anyways,” the blonde chirped, “while you're keeping her busy with the neck bullshit, your hands should move from her arms to her sides. You can squeeze her a little harder but not too hard, just make her believe you want her, it's not like you want to bruise her. After you’re done with the neck, pay some attention to the collar bone area too, and then you should pause, sit up, and take off your shirt if you're okay with this. You look pretty good without it, so you can let her stare for a moment or two, and then you’re back to the collar bone, one quick peck on her cleavage—if she has one, if course—and then… well, if she's wearing some top, you can take it off because now would be the time to focus on her breasts and maybe stomach if she's not ticklish, and if she's wearing a dress, you'll first have to make sure she's not wearing any pantyhose or socks, or something like that—”

“Why?” Sasuke deadpanned. He noticed, not without some relief, that his erection has died down. Most of the times he was strangely grateful that he wasn’t as obsessed with sex as people seemed to be. It was something he could live without. Yes, every once in a while he did feel the urge but it wasn't anything that a quick session with himself couldn't help.

“It's just common courtesy to undress the other person in an order that doesn't make them look silly. People are pretty self-conscious, you know,” Naruto lectured. “Like, you take off the socks before taking off pants and dresses, and skirts, you take off tops before you take off pants, you take off pantyhose before taking off a dress, and if she's wearing stockings, you probably shouldn't be taking them off at all,” he enumerated. “I should've made a chart and a powerpoint,” he snorted. “See, Sasuke, I can give killer presentations, and all you offered me was an assistant post,” he laughed. Sasuke shook his head, cracking a little smile.

“I should have a laser pointer somewhere in here,” he replied, mostly to humor the dumbass. Naruto clearly thought that being Sasuke's assistant wasn’t the most glamorous job there was. Well, it probably _wasn’t_. But it opened some doors.

“Kinky,” Naruto snickered. He finally turned his head to look at Sasuke. “C'mon, let me show you. No undressing, no kissing, just some touching, and I swear I’ll keep my distance,” he promised. “And if you want, you can be Sakura first, let's just go through this thing, okay? It should help you tomorrow, and, like, if she'll make you stressed, you can just pretend you're bullshitting your way through this with _me_. I'm less stressful,” he pointed out.

“You want me to pretend that you're her, and that she is you?” Sasuke asked, tilting his head and raising an eyebrow.

“Kind of, yeah,” Naruto grinned in reply. “It might sound stupid but if something stupid and works, it's not really stupid.”

“And you expect me to do _what_?” Sasuke asked. The other man sat up on the couch, making more space, and patted the empty spot as if he was calling some house pet.

“C'mon, don't be embarrassed. The _worst_ thing that could happen would be if one of us popped a boner but, like, it's just a natural reaction, so we can promise to each other that we’ll just ignore it,” the blonde chirped. “And we will stop the moment you decide you want to stop,” he promised. Sasuke tilted his head some more. On one hand, he appreciated that Naruto was making himself into a completely sexless being because the man obviously thought it was for Sasuke's sake, and on the other, Sasuke felt _stupid_. He was a grown ass man. He let out a heavy sigh, put the laptop away, stood up, and moved to sit next to the blonde. “Great,” Naruto cooed. “So, who's going to be Sakura first?”

“I may be,” Sasuke replied.

“Then try to be more feminine, this isn't How to Seduce a Grump 101,” he snorted. “Sakura's pretty girly, you know,” he lectured. Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. He had absolutely no idea how to make himself appear more feminine. He wasn't even certain if he _wanted_ to appear more feminine. “Bah, fine, whatever, you're hopeless at it,” Naruto snickered. “Ready? Or are you having any second thoughts—”

“Ready,” Sasuke interrupted him. He kind of _knew_ what was going to happen but he still felt startled when Naruto’s hands landed on his shoulders, and the blonde leaned towards him, his face getting dangerously close to Sasuke's.

“And so, first you're kissing her on the mouth,” Naruto whispered, his breath brushing against Sasuke’s cheek and lips. His fingers shortly squeezed Sasuke’s arms just so his grip could grow weaker as they moved down, slowly but surely traveling towards Sasuke's wrists. Naruto's face moved, his lips were now almost touching Sasuke's jaw line. “Then you're going to focus on her neck. You might kiss her cheek on your way there too,” he advised. He raised his body, and his nose brushed against Sasuke’s jaw. Sasuke instinctively threw his head back, his breath hitching up as warm lips _almost_ touched the skin on his neck. “Just like this,” Naruto murmured. “This is when you tell her something. You may compliment her perfumes, and then maybe breathe the scent in to make her believe you really like them,” the man continued. His fingers _somehow_ found their way under the hem of Sasuke's bathrobe sleeve. One of his hands was actually already partially hidden by it. The other one moved to Sasuke’s side, its fingers caressing it as if the man wanted to count his ribs. “This is when you should get a little bit aggressive and make her lie underneath you,” Naruto said. His forehead pushed against Sasuke’s jaw, the hand that was on Sasuke's forearm too pressing gently but firmly enough to make the intention obvious. Sasuke forced himself to breathe out as he allowed Naruto to lean over him. The blonde pulled Sasuke's hips closer to the back of the couch, and after a few seconds Sasuke found himself with his thighs resting against Naruto's lap. “And this is when you pull away. Theoretically to take off your shirt but the more important thing is that she puts her leg in a good position, so if she's not moving, you grab it, and lead it to where you want it to be,” the blonde stated as he straightened his back, pretended to undress, and, eventually, caught Sasuke's left leg by the ankle, raised it, _almost_ planted a soft kiss on the inner side of his thigh, and gently put it over his lap, so Sasuke's legs would be spread apart.

“What if she wants to move it to the bedroom?” Sasuke inquired, barely able to recognize his own voice. It sounded as if his mouth stopped producing saliva altogether.

“You can either bullshit her with something to make her stay here or you can just pull her up, and take her there,” Naruto answered. “The location doesn't matter,” he said as he shrugged his shoulders. Sasuke slowly nodded, frantically trying to think about anything but Naruto. So he was trying to picture himself as Sakura, and Naruto as himself, and so far he's been kind of successful. “Fuck, sorry,” the blonde snickered, suddenly pulling away, and leaning forward, so Sasuke’s view was obstructed by a golden mop of her.

“…for what?” he asked.

“Take a wild guess,” Naruto answered. “Give me a moment, it'll pass,” he promised. Sasuke gulped. _No_. No, no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. The moron was rendering his efforts useless. “Daww, is this a sympathetic boner? I'm touched—”

“Shut up,” Sasuke barked.

“Then curb down your empathy because you're not helping me,” the idiot laughed.

“I thought we were supposed to _ignore_ this,” Sasuke reminded the other man in a grave tone. He wished he wasn’t wearing loose sweatpants. He wished Naruto wasn’t wearing pajama bottoms. He wished they were both wearing thick metal armor. He himself hasn't _seen_ anything but Naruto clearly has noticed Sasuke's tent, and he himself had to be sporting one as well, and this was just awful. Sasuke took a deep breath, and shifted his head, mostly to stop himself from looking at the blond hair. He sighed and glared at the lamp standing behind the couch.

“It's kind of _hard_ to just ignore it,” Naruto snorted. “See, this is why I should be in drag right now. You wouldn't be able to see a thing, I’m pretty fucking good at tucking,” he blabbered.

“Mhm, yes, let's talk about your cock some more,” Sasuke hissed. “ _Or_ you can tell me about your parents.”

“ _And_ you're pretty fucking good at spoiling the mood,” the blonde laughed. “But you know we can't do this,” he lectured.

“It doesn’t have to be anything specific. You can even lie if you want,” Sasuke sighed in reply.

“I don’t really like lying, I'm just good at it,” Naruto murmured. Sasuke sucked in a breath as he felt the blonde shift his position. “I don't think this one is going away on its own,” the man complained as if he was whining about a stain on his tie.

“It would if you stopped talking about it,” Sasuke muttered. “So, since I have _daddy issues_ , tell me about yours.”

“…there’s literally nothing to say,” Naruto answered after a short moment of hesitation.

“I don’t believe your father is like the ones in TV commercials, think up a better lie,” Sasuke sighed.

“You didn't understand. There's literally _nothing_ to say,” the blonde mumbled out. “For as long, as I can remember, it's been just me and my mom,” he clarified. Sasuke nodded. That _wasn’t_ what he was expecting when he's asked the question. On the other hand, it explained a few things. “And before you ask, I have absolutely no idea where he is, what he's doing or even what's his name,” the man confessed. It sounded somewhat rehearsed but not really bitter.

“Sorry,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“What for?” Naruto inquired with a smile. “Nothing happened, and even if something did happen, it's not your fault,” the blonde sighed. “And now get back in the role, I think it’s safe to continue.”

“In this case give me a moment, I need to update my feed,” Sasuke murmured. Naruto let out a short laugh.

“I kind of hope she'll keep your sex life private,” he whispered. “Well, the _lack_ of sex life, that is,” he corrected himself, his hands landing on Sasuke's hips and then moving upwards, as if Naruto was taking off Sasuke’s shirt. “I guess she’ll just be wearing a bra,” the man stated with a shrug. “Bras you usually take off, if she's wearing a corset, you usually don't take it off,” he advised. “Not that it matters because you won’t be undressing her more than this,” he added. “So the bra is going to stay there anyway.”

“I kind of doubt she'll just be lying here like a corpse,” Sasuke sighed. He wished Sakura was lying there like a corpse. Or if she suddenly remembered she couldn't come after all.

“Some people push their partner’s head towards their crotch area,” Naruto admitted. “Kind of rude but oh well,” he said, his face getting close to Sasuke's solar plexus. “Just ignore it. If she's really annoying about it, start doing shit to her legs, especially the inner sides of her thighs,” he advised. “And don't worry because the worse it gets, the closer I am,” he stated, moved his head to meet Sasuke's eyes with his own, and smiled.

“So you're planning to walk in on us,” Sasuke replied.

“Yeah,” the blonde answered. “I'll try to make myself look like a complete mess, so she'll pity me,” he continued, his mouth moving lower, still _almost_ brushing against Sasuke’s navel. Moments later Naruto's cheek rested against Sasuke’s thigh. “Your turn,” he announced with a cheeky grin.

“I don’t think so,” Sasuke protested.

“Oh come on, I'm like a tutorial level,” Naruto complained, and threw himself backwards, his head resting on the other arm rest, his legs tangled with Sasuke’s. “If you mess up, just start over or whatever, I'm yours until 8 a.m.,” he yawned. “I'll probably need a bathroom break in two hours or so but otherwise I'm completely fine with lying here like a dead judgmental fish,” he added with a short laugh.

“So you’re planning on adding a live commentary?” Sasuke inquired, shaking his head. “Wasn’t it already awkward enough?”

“I wouldn’t call it _awkward,_ ” Naruto disagreed. “I mean, I trust you, you can trust me, we’re both even kind of attracted to each other—physically, of course, so it could've been way worse. The hardest part of this exercise is not enjoying it,” he snorted. “So come on, fuck my daddy issues out of me,” he chortled.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and moved to kneel on the couch. He eyed the lying man, studying his chest and arms, his bared throat, and the thrown back head. Sasuke's hand carefully landed on Naruto’s wrist. It wasn’t like he's never touched another person like this, it wasn't like he's never touched another man like this, it wasn’t like he's never… and yet it felt different. This was supposed to be a pretend play. An exercise. Sasuke was however certain it was going to feel more real than the _real_ thing with Sakura was going to.

“Weren't we supposed to start with kissing?” Naruto asked, letting out a massive yawn.

“You're already lying on your back. It seems we've missed a few good steps,” Sasuke answered, shrugging his shoulders. He leaned over the other man, their elbows aligned together, his left hand on Naruto’s upper arm, his right one brushing against the blonde's jawline. Sasuke cupped the back of the other man's head and pulled it closer, so close that their lips almost touched.

“Wow, okay, stop, this feels too real,” Naruto chuckled, hiding his face in his linked hands. Sasuke let go of him, and moved to sit up and give the man some space, but Naruto caught him by his arms, and held him in place. “Just give me a moment,” he pleaded. “You're doing good, I kind of expected you to suck,” he confessed. “So I wasn't ready for this level of realism but it's _good_ , so seriously, relax—"

“Right now I might be more relaxed than you,” Sasuke pointed out with a smirk. “Just tell me when you're ready,” he added.

“Okay, go,” Naruto breathed out a moment later. Sasuke shook his head, and moved his lips towards the blonde’s neck. “First the spot where the jaw connects to the neck,” Naruto instructed, “then the tendon,” he continued as Sasuke followed his advice. He obviously wasn’t _kissing_ the man, he was merely pausing, his mouth open, hanging maybe an inch away, “and then that spot, where the neck and the shoulder meet, and _shit_ , I need a break,” Naruto wailed. “Collar bone,” he whispered when Sasuke tried to pull away.

“You want me to continue?” Sasuke mumbled out.

“Yeah, I can't just call for a timeout every two minutes,” Naruto sighed.

“We can just stop altogether,” Sasuke offered.

“I'm okay, it's just harder than I thought,” the blonde chuckled. “I mean, you have me wishing you were some random hookup,” he confessed, sounding tired. “That’s good, though.”

“Random hookups fuck the daddy issues out of you?” Sasuke inquired in a low tone, his breath hitting Naruto's tanned skin, making all these little hair stand up in nervous anticipation.

“Sometimes,” the blonde admitted, his voice hoarse and strained. Sasuke sucked in a breath. It felt too real for him too. “Sometimes I return the favor. And you have some pent up daddy issues boiling inside of—” Naruto paused, and coughed. “Fuck, okay, _stop_ , timeout.”

“Agreed,” Sasuke whispered back, quickly pulling away, and sitting on the far end of the couch, his elbows resting on his knees, his eyes glued to the printed out documents lying on the table. He could’ve avoided all of _this_ if he just focused on what he was supposed to focus on.

“Being on the receiving end is fucking hard,” the blonde whined. “How in the hell did you manage to remain this unimpressed throughout this all? Like, I don't know, I'm back to thinking you’re completely asexual—”

“I _wasn’t_ unimpressed,” Sasuke interrupted the idiot.

“You don’t have to try sparing my feelings,” Naruto huffed. “You do you, Sasuke, I'm just gonna rest here for a while,” he breathed out. “If I get a raging erection while seeing your father, it's mostly your fault,” he added with a snort.

“Gross,” Sasuke commented, turning his head to glare at the moron. The man was perched on the couch, his legs pulled close, his upper body resting against the back of the couch, one of his arms covering his eyes, his chest steadily raising and falling as he breathed. He wasn't breathing fast but his breaths were most definitely heavy.

“It'll make meeting him _really_ awkward,” Naruto blabbered. “ _Oh hello good sir, please ignore my boner, I'm just thinking about all these insecurities you've given to your lovely soon, and no, no, I'm not aroused by these, no, good sir, I simply want to help your son get rid of them_ —”

“Don’t address my father as _good sir_ ,” Sasuke sighed.

“Good to know that you're fine with the rest of my introductory speech,” the blonde laughed.

“I'm _not_ insecure,” Sasuke muttered.

“ _Sure_ ,” Naruto replied, making a point of making himself sound like he didn't believe in what he's just said. “Why else would you try so hard to appease him,” he sighed. “I wonder what your rebellious stage looked like. Your parents must've been horrified when you've told them you were going to play piano and not violin—”

“I don't play any instruments and you know it,” Sasuke barked at the moron.

“Were you scene or emo?” Naruto asked.

“What—”

“Your _hair_ ,” the man stated in a knowing tone. “That's the remnant from your teenage years, right?”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke protested. “Do you get off to insulting me?”

“I'm just trying to get _you_ to insult _me_ ,” Naruto answered after a longer while, apparently greatly disappointed by the fact that his plan failed.

“Do you get off to _being_ insulted?” Sasuke asked.

“Nope, I hate it,” the blonde confessed. Sasuke waited for an explanation but it didn't come. After a longer while he sighed, and picked up his laptop to read the rest of the reports. Naruto once again focused on the movie. From what Sasuke heard, it was a different one. Unless in the grim future everything was to be decided by a dance off between two teenagers. Sasuke wouldn't know. He did, however, notice that one of the teen's dancing was less traditional than what the big important event was used to, so the outcome was pretty obvious.

“You do know that she's just going to win this shit, right?” Sasuke inquired in a flat voice.

“Have you already seen the movie or is this you trying to impress me with your amazing detective skills?” Naruto asked back, sounding utterly unimpressed.

“What's the point of watching something if you already know the outcome?” Sasuke sighed, shuffling through his papers.

“Sometimes I enjoy not being surprised,” the blonde replied with a yawn. “Do you have a compulsive need to be constantly surprised?”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, deciding that actually answering the question was beneath him. He heard Naruto move, and when he looked at him, he saw the man half-lying on the couch, his legs thrown over its back. The position looked uncomfortable at best.

“You'll break your back,” Sasuke commented.

“I can literally do a split right now,” Naruto barked back. “Or put both of my legs behind my neck,” he continued. “And then walk around your apartment on my hands—”

“I'd call an exorcist,” Sasuke interrupted him.

_“Or_ you could just say _wow_ ,” Naruto supplied, evidently offended.

“That's going to happen only if the exorcist says talking to you is safe,” Sasuke replied. The blonde let out a short laugh. It stopped just as fast as it started, making Sasuke wonder if the idiot didn't pretend to be amused by their antics. “You really don’t have to act like I can make you laugh with stupid shit,” Sasuke sighed.

“I… yeah, sorry,” Naruto mumbled out. “I should go,” he said out of the blue. “I'll keep checking that shitty website, and tell you when this thing disappears. And I'll be here this evening. Tell me if you two decide to meet at some other time,” he continued. He was already standing up, and if he wasn't wearing just pajamas, he probably would've left at least three minutes ago. Sasuke nodded although he was pretty certain that Naruto wasn't waiting for his approval. The man disappeared into the bedroom, and left it a short while later, already fully dressed. He didn't say anything as he left the apartment, he merely waved his hand, and just _left_.

Sasuke took a deep breath. The movie was still playing but the apartment felt strangely quiet. Sasuke glared at the papers lying in front of him, eventually deciding to abandon them to their fate and catch some shuteye. Somehow, for whatever reason, his mood was far worse than just a while ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update Offside Trap tomorrow, the chapter is almost finished :v
> 
> Sorry for not replying to comments, I'll try to do this within the next few hours though : ) and remember that even if I don't reply immediately, I read the comments pretty fast, I love all of them, and they make me super happy <3
> 
> the next chap will be pretty fucking uncomfortable, huh XD


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is pretty cringy so if you want a synopsis, there's one in the end notes
> 
> it's not too bad though buuuut I'm not especially sensitive so it's hard for me to judge
> 
> buuut the pretty safe part starts from "Sasuke paused when he heard the doors to his apartment unlock," so you can always ctrl f :'D

Naruto left the airport with a few very strong convictions, and all of them horrified him. First of all, the meeting with Gaara was going to be a nightmare. Gaara was an extremely dependent person, who reacted with aggression when something threatened his treasured bond. A bond. Singular because Gaara could have only one object of obsession at a time, and at this moment it was Naruto.

Second of all, Naruto’s left his current client with an impossible task, screwed everything up for him, and it was a fucking miracle that Sasuke hasn't fired him on spot. Most people would. It was the sane thing to do. And Sasuke actually kind of _wanted_ to fire him. It simply wasn't for the right reasons.

The third one was that Naruto wished Sasuke wasn't his client.

This one was weighing on him the most. He wasn’t even certain _what_ he would’ve done if Sasuke wasn’t his client. Well. If Sasuke's never been his client, Naruto probably wouldn't have been interested enough to scramble through the guy’s shell, picking through layer after a layer, dismantling him from his indifference and that kind of unpleasant attitude; Naruto wouldn't have cared enough to bear with all of Sasuke’s flaws, and so he'd never see his good side. And this probably would've been better and easier. Unfortunately, it was already way too late for this.

Because right now, while he _was_ seeing all of Sasuke’s flaws, and to be honest Naruto was forcing himself to look at the man mostly though that thick, thick filter that should've worked like a dimmed glass, distorting the image of Sasuke to the point, where he would barely seem human, Sasuke was… he was someone Naruto would've asked out in a heartbeat, had he been given a chance.

It wasn’t love or anything serious like that but it was genuine sympathy laced with lust, and this was unacceptable.

Naruto took a deep breath, glaring at the hotel doors as if he expected the building to swallow him. After all the stupid shit Sasuke had said, Naruto kept remembering all these creepy horror movies and tv series about hotels. And that _anecdote_ about a guy building a hotel filled with labyrinths and dead ends just so he could murder his guests in them. As if it made sense. Gaara was… an inconvenience but not a real threat. A lonely, lonely man, who's spent most of his life feeling rejected. Also by his father.

There was a time, when Naruto wished he knew _his_ father but it seemed that all fathers ever did was give their sons issues and insecurities. Naruto _knew_ it wasn't true, he remembered that some of the people he's met had perfectly normal dads but he was certain that it just wasn't worth it. He was happy with just his mom, he wouldn't want to risk having some shitty parent just so he would have _two_ of them.

“I'm here to see Gaara,” Naruto announced upon reaching the reception desk in the lobby. The young receptionist looked terrified but she also said _of course_ , and Naruto hasn't even introduced himself, so she was clearly expecting him. Naruto _wished_ she had to call her boss and check with him if he truly wanted to see this Naruto person but no, they were quite obviously _waiting_ for him. The receptionist called a security guard, and the security guard, a mean looking woman, lead Naruto through the kind of familiar corridor to the elevator. “I'm using stairs,” Naruto blurted out. The woman merely sighed, not even trying to hide how annoyed she was by it, and Naruto felt strangely grateful for that. That she didn't know he wanted to take stairs. That she wasn’t trying to suck up to him. The woman didn't even try to engage him in any meaningless conversation, she looked bored and tired, just like a regular person asked to accompany some random dude should look like.

Naruto followed after the woman until they reached the fifth floor, and passed through some _staff only_ doors. Then she knocked, obediently waited, and after hearing a tense _come in_ , practically pushed Naruto inside, and closed the doors behind him without even greeting her boss.

“I guess she doesn't like you,” Naruto mumbled out, turning his head to look at the slammed doors. Then he turned it again to study Gaara. It appeared that the man hasn't slept at all, he had dark shadows under his eyes, his hair was a mess, his suit was a mess, the curtains were drawn, the room looked like a pit dug out by a raccoon, and not like what it was supposed to be—a luxurious office.

“She simply knows I don't want to see her,” Gaara replied. He was standing near his desk, looking as if he was about to die. The desk was cluttered with empty coffee mugs, and dirty with, judging by the smell, cigarette ash.

“You wanted to see me, though,” Naruto stated, trying to find himself a seat he could take and failing. There was just one chair, Gaara’s. It seemed he wasn’t spending too much time discussing things with his employees. At least not in here. A weird place to meet for a talk. Under normal circumstances, he would've asked if they weren't going somewhere else but he was pretty fucking certain he'd much rather stay here than go to Gaara's private room.

“I did,” the man admitted. His hands were trembling. He looked broken. “I managed to take that article down—”

“Yes, I've seen that,” Naruto interrupted him. “Don't do anything like this again. You wanted to talk to me, so _talk_ ,” he reminded the man, crossing his arms and moving away.

“What can I do to make you stay?” Gaara asked. Naruto took a deep breath.

“ _Why_ do you even want me to stay? It's clearly unhealthy to you, and I assure you that I don't want to stay, so if I did, I'd just be feeding your delusions. I doubt that _this_ is what you really want,” the blonde answered.

“You’re wrong,” Gaara breathed out. “I just want you here by me. You're like this because of your job. If you quit it, you could be with me, and you'd be back to being yourself,” he argued in a weak voice. Naruto tilted his head.

“I wasn't being myself,” he pointed out. “You never met the real me. I was what you wanted and needed me to be,” he added. “But now you don't need me anymo—”

“ _I need you_ ,” Gaara insisted. “I can pay you, I can even pay you twice as much, so just—"

“You'd go bankrupt,” Naruto sighed. “I hope this hotel was a good investment because I've never wanted to ruin you financially,” he blurted out.

“I _can_ afford you,” the redhead hissed. “I'll give you whatever you want, just state your conditions.”

“I don't want anything from you,” Naruto informed him.

“There must be something you want,” Gaara protested, shaking his head. His thin fingers were resting against the desk, strained and white.

“Gaara, this is the last time we’re talking. I want you to leave me alone,” Naruto whispered.

“ _No_ ,” the man scoffed. “I know you're scared but I also know that you want it too. I saw you that night, I remember everything you've said, we can—”

“I was drunk out of my mind,” Naruto yelled back. “You've blackmailed me into coming here, you're threatening my client, and you're being creepy,” he continued. “How would _you_ feel if someone bought a freaking hotel on a slim chance they might meet you?!”

“It’s _romantic_ ,” Gaara hissed. “This hotel is my proof of love to you—”

“I don't want your love,” Naruto screamed. “This _isn't_ love, this is some sick obsession. You don't even know _me_ , you know the person you wanted me to be. All of it was _fake_ , there was _nothing_ real about it—”

“It _was_ real,” Gaara disagreed, his face darkening. “You're just too afraid to admit it.”

“Gaara, if I _wanted_ to be with you, I would’ve been with you. And I'm _not_. Understand it, _please._ ”

“You're just lying to yourself,” the man gritted through his teeth. “The only reason I'm still bothering with you is because I've seen the real you. Perhaps you should be drunk out of your mind again, maybe it's the only way for you to _not_ lie—”

“I'm not drinking anything,” Naruto huffed, immediately deciding he wasn’t going to accept even water, he'd much rather have his tongue and throat parched.

“Then what reason do you give me to _not_ ruin your stupid client and this idiotic job?” Gaara practically cried out. As if it was _him_ , who was being threatened.

“I've told you I'll ruin you if you try to touch him,” Naruto hissed.

“What makes you think I care?” Gaara asked in a flat voice. “I have _nothing_ more to lose.”

“I bet your father will be thrilled when he hears you've decided to destroy everything he's created,” Naruto muttered. He _knew_ it was a low blow. Gaara was simply one more grown ass man with daddy issues. And his were probably worse than Sasuke's. Gaara's mother died soon after giving birth to him. Postnatal depression. His father kept on blaming him, and many years later he remarried, giving his new wife’s children more love and care than he's ever given his biological son.

“I doubt he'd care,” the man whispered. “He's dead, so it's just me,” he announced. Naruto used to act more hysterical when one of his _plants_ died.

“You still have your brother and sister, they—”

“We’re not related,” Gaara interrupted him. “They don't have a say in how I do things. As far, as I'm concerned, they're strangers to me.”

Naruto breathed in. The situation was getting dire. Sasuke was in danger. Naruto's job was in danger. _Everything_ was in danger. “What do you want from me?” he asked. “And be reasonable.”

“Abandon this stupid job, quit it for good, and live with me,” the redhead demanded.

“I can't quit my job right now,” Naruto sighed.

“I will pay the guy off,” Gaara sighed.

“He's getting married in three weeks. I can't leave him like this,” Naruto protested. “Give me three more weeks, and I'll spend some time with you, so you can see for yourself that you don't want _me_ ,” he offered.

“I _know_ what I want,” Gaara scoffed. Naruto took a step back. The atmosphere of the room was suffocating. Nothing was going the way he envisioned it to go. Everything was crumbling to pieces. “And I want what's best for you. I hope you'll finally see it after you cool off and stop being unreasonable.”

“I'll,” Naruto paused to force himself to breathe normally, and not like a fox chased after by a trained, firearms wielding hunter, “I'll stay with you for two weeks after I'm done with this contract,” he breathed out. “And you'll see that—”

“No, it's _you_ , who will see,” Gaara disagreed. “It's okay, though. I know where it's all coming from,” he added in a calm voice.  Naruto had no idea how to react to it. It would be just two weeks. It wasn’t going to be too different from working for some buffoon. Nothing new. Nothing strange. Nothing scary.

“You won't do anything to threaten my job,” Naruto demanded. “Not now, not tomorrow, not a week from now, not when I'm with you, not after I'll be gone,” he enlisted. Gaara frowned but nodded his head. Naruto finally felt as if he was getting _some_ control over the situation. He knew he wasn't _totally_ in control, no, he was pretty much dancing to Gaara’s tune right now but it didn't matter much. In the end it would be _him_ , who was going to emerge as the one in control. He would be annoying and dismissive, and he'd completely and utterly disappoint his former client. And _then_ he was going to disappear. He'd just move to the other side of the country, or perhaps even to some other country, at least for a few months, he needed to go off the radar, and let everyone forget about him. 

Naruto mentally sighed. When he had started working as a best man for hire, he had thought it was the best job ever. He was supposed to be paid for having fun. And yes, sometimes it even _was_ fun but there were all these people, who wanted the impossible or blamed him for their fallbacks.

“I'm leaving,” Naruto announced, acting as if he didn't notice the frown on Gaara’s face.

“If you don't appear here three weeks from now, I _will_ find you,” the man replied. “And I expect you to pick up my calls—”

“You _know_ it won't always be possible,” Naruto protested.

“Then text me,” Gaara muttered. “I want you to text me at least once a day.”

“You're acting like a terrorist,” Naruto complained.

“You made me act like this,” Gaara retorted. The blonde shook his head. “I've been calling, texting and e-mailing you, and you ignored me even when my father died,” he hissed.

“You've _never_ mentioned your father's death,” Naruto snapped at him. “You were just saying that you were _sad_ , it doesn't exactly mean the same as _my father just died_ —”

“So you _have_ been reading these,” Gaara interrupted him. “Good to know,” he sighed. Naruto bit his bottom lip. Yes, he _did_ read all of these texts and e-mails, and they were just a desperate mess, there was nothing special about them. He had to read them because there _could_ be threats in them, and he _had_ to know about every threat, and this situation was one of his worst nightmares coming true.

“I hope you'll realize how unfair you're being to me,” Naruto hissed. “You've put me in a situation, in which I can't refuse you. It's _not_ how you build a genuine relationship—”

“I _was_ trying to be fair to you but you were ignoring me,” Gaara growled back. “Now you _can't_ ignore me. I'm doing this for _us_.”

Naruto swallowed a scream that was boiling in his throat. He had used to feel sorry for the man. Now it was just fear mixed with resentment.

“One text daily,” he relented. “But I swear I’ll just be texting you _your obligatory text_ every day,” he blurted out. At this point he felt like a kid put under a home arrest. There was no way for him to rebel, all he could do was making the party in power see how awful and pointless this whole enterprise was.

“You have time until midnight. I'll be texting you too, and I hope you'll be as diligent with reading mine as you've been so far,” Gaara replied, clearly unfazed by Naruto's weak protests. The blonde merely glared at the man. He had no other choice, and Gaara knew it. He knew it, and he was abusing it. “You may leave now,” Gaara informed him in a flat voice. “If you choose to stay, you can use everything the hotel has to offer charge free. Every employee already knows it. If someone claims they _don't_ , give me their names, and I'll make sure that they're properly—”

“There's no need,” Naruto interrupted him. “I'm leaving. And here’s your text,” he grunted, took out the phone, typed _obligatory text_ , and hit send. Gaara tilted his head at him after stealing a glance at his phone screen after it lit up.

“You'll come around,” he sighed after a longer moment of uncomfortable silence. “Take care,” he added as Naruto turned on his heel and threw the doors open. Now he just needed to put on a smile on his face, help Sasuke with his drama, do his time at Gaara’s, and _disappear_. Perhaps he really needed a career change.

* * *

Sasuke was trying to force himself to calm down but ever since he came back from work and actually started _waiting_ for Sakura, it was all for naught. He was pacing around his living room, wiping off some stray oily fingerprints from the table, the photos, and pretty much _everything_ Naruto's touched but in the end he left one particularly visible fingerprint. Because it was somewhat _comforting_. It was reminding Sasuke that Naruto had promised to _come back_. Come back and ruin this whole _prove me you want me_ bullshit.

So the nasty fingerprint was left on the TV screen. Sasuke took a deep breath, stabilizing his shaking hands as he poured himself a glass of wine, hoping that at least the alcohol would make him care less. He hasn't been this nervous ever since his father had appointed him a CEO. And Sasuke liked to think he was doing _that_ at least alright. He had taken over Itachi's former position, and he _knew_ he wasn't even half as good as Itachi had been but he was better than the rest of the CEOs. Neither Sasuke nor Sasuke’s father noticed it, but one day Karin pointed it out, and she even had the data to support her thesis, and Sasuke believed her. He hasn't told his father about it, of course. It was nothing to brag about. It was the minimum he should be expecting of his flesh and blood, and now—

Now Sasuke made himself stress over two things instead of just one. He grabbed his phone and picked Karin's number from his speed dial list. The woman picked up after the second signal.

“Yes?” she inquired, sounding all businesslike. Sasuke allowed himself to breathe out. Karin had a calming influence on him. She always had some numbers backing up everything she said, and she made Sasuke believe that everything was under control.

“Sorry for calling you this late,” he started even though he had called Karin at even later hours, and it was a horrible thing to do because this was her time off, and Sasuke always remembered to include a bonus for her in her monthly paycheck, and ever since this Sakura nightmare started, Karin’s paycheck was half base, and half bonuses.

“What happened?” Karin asked. Her voice sounded softer on the phone than when they were both at work, surrounded by other people.

“These,” Sasuke paused, trying to come up with a good fake reason for calling his employee, “these motherboards we've ordered,” he said, ridiculously proud of himself for remembering something he was working on just a few hours earlier. “You've checked my order? Is everything… in order?”

“Is everything in order with your order?” Karin repeated, sounding significantly less pleasant than just a while ago. “Yes, I double checked everything, everything is fine. Do you expect me to make some rookie mistake or—”

“No, I was just… distracted today, and wanted to check it with you,” Sasuke replied.

“Is my cousin giving you a hard time? I'll call him and give him a piece of my mind. That leak is _unthinkable_ , I'm deeply sorry for recommending him to you, I had no idea he’d let something like _this_ happen—”

“No, it's fine, he's fine,” Sasuke interrupted her. “I was distracted for another reason but,” he paused again, realizing that the conversation wasn't exactly calming him down. He couldn't bring himself to tell Karin _why_ he was stressed, and so there was nothing she could do. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you at this hour—”

“If you want, I can come over, and we can have a look at this order together again,” Karin offered before he could finish the sentence.

“I'm actually,” Sasuke cleared his throat, “expecting someone, so it will be impossible,” he concluded. He heard his assistant letting out a massive sigh.

“If you need me to interrupt the meeting, just let me know,” she said. Sasuke shook his head, feeling his heart slow down.

“It won't be necessary,” he answered, sounding more strict than he intended. “Thank you, it's good that the order is—”

“In order, yes,” Karin finished his sentence with a very audible eye roll. “I'll check it again tomorrow morning. Unless you want me to go to the company today and—”

“No, no, I'll just connect to the intranet from here, and check it myself, have a nice evening,” he blurted out. The woman mumbled out her goodbyes and hung up on him, and Sasuke was once again alone with his thoughts. Naruto hasn't given him any sign of life ever since they parted this morning, so Sasuke had no idea if the idiot was even still alive. He had played with the idea of checking up on him but that would've been creepy. And Naruto definitely didn't need _creepy_ right now. It was barely seven p.m., he had to wait for one more hour for Sakura to show up. An hour and a half for Naruto to do so. Sasuke gave his phone one final squeeze before putting it away on the coffee table, and slouching on the couch. And then the sound of his entry phone cut through the air.

Sasuke had no idea _how_ exactly he managed to pull this off but he stood up, and walked towards the scowling machine to let the ringer in. Few seconds later he realized Sakura decided to come early. Sasuke pretty much _ran_ towards his phone and picked Naruto's number. Luckily for him, the man picked up after the first signal.

“She's here,” Sasuke stated, hoping he was actually talking to the blonde and not his murderer or captor, or whatever else the creepy dude decided to be.

“You want me to come in now or thirty minutes from now?” Naruto asked in a calm voice. Sasuke breathed out. Naruto was _close_. It was alright. Nothing has changed. _And_ he was alive. This was good news too.

“Thirty minutes,” Sasuke replied.

“You've got this,” Naruto assured him. Sasuke kind of wanted to kick himself in the face for needing to be assured. Itachi would've never needed something this useless and meaningless. It was just words. Empty, stupid words. “Being slightly nervous is natural, so don't think about it too much. Just give her the wine, and do that thing you were doing to me before I decided you're too good at this,” the dumbass laughed. Sasuke shook his head in disbelief. “Chill out, it'll be over soon. And don't force yourself if you hate it, I don't know, just fake some sickness and run into the toilet, okay? I'll be there in thirty minutes,” the man promised and with that he hung up on Sasuke before Sasuke could say that he wasn't going to pretend to throw up _again_.

Perhaps it was for the best because at this moment his doorbell rang, so Sasuke barely managed to put his phone away before he opened the apartment, trying to make himself look as if he was waiting at the doors this whole time. Sakura didn't greet him with any words, she just threw her arms around his neck, and pulled him in for a kiss. He kissed her back, this time pretending that the kiss made him feel things it didn't.

“I'm so glad I can finally see you,” she chirped into his mouth, and took out her phone to snap a picture of them kissing. Sasuke was guessing she wanted to publish it asap to make her followers think that everything was okay and normal. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. She wouldn't want to destroy that fake image of a happy couple.

“You want some wine?” Sasuke inquired when the woman pulled away from him, writing some hashtags or whatever under their photo. It looked _genuine_. “I bought some good pink one, so—”

“No, I'm okay but if you want some, knock yourself up,” Sakura replied, putting her phone on the coffee table, and handing him her coat and a thin scarf. Sasuke put them away, and grabbed his still half full glass of red wine. She was wearing a short dress, and this meant pantyhose, and she also had knee-long socks on, and this meant that he'd have to take these off first—

Sasuke sat down on the couch, took a huge gulp, put the glass away, and before he could do anything else, Sakura was already straddling him, facing him, her legs squeezing his thighs from the outside, her dress pulled up, probably barely covering her ass.

“Ready?” she asked, sounding more willing than he ever felt in his entire life. They didn't cover _this_. Sasuke breathed in, letting his hands fall on her hips. He could feel some muscles and bones but she felt also softer than Naruto. “I think you're being nervous,” she cooed. “Don't worry, I'm here, and I'll take a good care of you,” she promised, gently grinding against his crotch and pulling even closer. Sasuke was pretty certain he was supposed to get hard right about _now_ but he had absolutely no idea how to do it.

He remembered that he was supposed to focus on her neck, and he was guessing that he should take control over the situation rather sooner than later because right now it was a recipe for a disaster. He cupped the back of Sakura’s head with his hand, his fingers crawling into her pink locks, pulling her closer until his lips rested against the skin on her neck. It felt warm under his touch. Warmer than he expected. He planted a kiss there, a dry one, careful to let his breath brush against the soft skin. Sakura made a noise that sounded appreciative but she was also _still_ grinding against his crotch. She was going to wonder _why_ he was still soft within mere minutes.

Sasuke put his other hand on the small of her back, and moved her body until she was lying underneath him. At least she was cooperative.

“Sasuke, after such a long wait we can just skip the foreplay,” she murmured under her breath. Sasuke made an unintelligible noise.

“It's our first time,” he protested. “I want it to be just perfect,” he lied.

“Sometimes I think I don't deserve you,” Sakura moaned in reply as Sasuke planted short kisses along her jawline. He felt like a fraud. He had no idea how he was supposed to live his entire life like this if Naruto’s plan was to fail. “I pressured you into doing this, so it should be _me_ making _you_ feel good, not the other way around,” the woman whispered in a husky voice.

“I'm enjoying this,” Sasuke lied, his lips traveling _lower_.

“Don't lie, I can feel that you're still not hard,” Sakura let out a soft chuckle. “Come on, let me pleasure you,” she pleaded, and Sasuke panicked.

“Less than five minutes ago I was thinking about motherboards,” he whispered back. “So just lie back and relax,” he ordered, sitting up to take off Sakura’s long socks. They slid off the slick pantyhose with ease. His fingers brushed along Sakura’s still cold from the evening air legs until they slid under the soft dress and stopped at the hem of her nylons. He slowly slid them off of her, and threw them on the ground together with her socks.

Now he was supposed to take off his shirt but Sakura hooked her legs behind his back, and tried to pull him closer.

“You like petting? Because I do,” she confessed, her hands feeling his torso. This whole thing was much easier, more natural and more _pleasant_ with Naruto. Sasuke breathed in, closing his eyes, and trying to imagine that Sakura was indeed Naruto. Naruto in drag perhaps because Naruto somehow managed to have an equally feminine figure in that stupid orange dress of his—well, _Foxy_ had a feminine figure. Not Naruto. But the thing was that Naruto and Foxy at the very core were the same person. And Foxy too had been grinding against Sasuke's crotch—although that had felt way more embarrassing because all these people were sitting right next to them, and Sasuke was _certain_ he would've come if Foxy went through with that stupid threat of hers, so she would've made him cum right there and then, and later— “Oh, you _do_ like petting,” Sakura laughed. Sasuke blinked. He was hard. He was actually _hard_. Normally, he would've spent some time contemplating _what_ was exactly wrong with him that he kind of _wanted_ to be forced to cum in a pretty fucking public place but at the moment it didn’t matter. “It would feel even better if you were just in your underwear,” Sakura whispered, her hands jolting towards his zipper, her feet kicking off his jeans off his hips mere seconds later. Apparently the order of undressing was wrong too since right now Sasuke still had his shirt on. “Mmm, grind against me,” she pleaded.

He ignored that, well aware that it was still almost twenty minutes until Naruto was supposed to crash the party, and they were already past what had been _planned_ for today. Sasuke’s jeans weren't supposed to hang loosely around his mid-thighs, Sakura’s legs weren't supposed to pull him closer every time he wanted to move away, and to be honest, they were still supposed to be drinking _wine_.

“ _Or_ I can suck you off if you prefer,” the woman whispered, a soft smile audible in her voice.

“No, thank you,” Sasuke blurted out before he could stop himself. Sakura snorted at that.

“Maybe you'd much rather have Naruto sucking you off?” she supplied, her tone suddenly colder and more serious. “You want to shove your cock into his mouth until your balls rest on his chin? You want to see him gag on it?” she questioned. Sasuke blinked, too dumbfounded to actually reply. “Because I'm okay with it,” she confessed. “But me being okay with it means you can _think_ about him, and if you so prefer, I can even peg you. I'm most definitely _not_ okay with you cheating on me. Especially since—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke hissed.

“What do you mean by _no_?” Sakura demanded to know. “I love you, Sasuke, and I'm willing to accept a _lot_ but I also want a child, and I can't be seen walking into a fertility clinic,” she murmured. “We can do it however you like, so just _pick something_.”

“I've already told you where that stupid photo came from,” Sasuke barked at his fiancee.

“It's _not_ just the photo, Sasuke,” the woman sighed. “You're perfect, okay? I love everything about you, and every woman _dreams_ about a husband like you but you don't even have any exes, none of your friends live here, your best friend is gay, you're one hundred percent alright with him straddling you and kissing you in public, and when I saw you two together… you fell asleep on his shoulder, it's clear that you're comfortable with him touching you. I'm _not_ going to believe you if you say that nothing has ever happened between you two—”

“But it's _true_ ,” Sasuke snapped. “Nothing’s happened. Just _that_ kiss. And that was because his ex was there, so it's hardly romantic. Not to mention that I’ve been pretty passive back then,” he muttered.

“Then continue,” she demanded. Or taunted. Sasuke wasn’t certain which one it was, he just knew it was pissing him off.

“I'm not in the mood,” he barked, moving away, almost forcibly unwrapping Sakura's legs from around his waist, pulling his jeans up, and getting off the couch.

“Wait, you _can't_ be serious—”

“I _am_ ,” he interrupted her. He wished he could tell her to leave his apartment but he was fairly confident it wasn’t something a loving fiancé would say to his fiancee. And it was possible she would tell his father about it. And his father wasn’t going to forgive him something like this. He would've said Sasuke should had bit his tongue and just endure every little unpleasantry.

“I'm trying to build a life with you,” she screamed, sounding as if she was about to choke. “And I'm willing to make some sacrifices, so we can find a middle ground but you have to do it too,” she insisted, sitting up, and pulling the skirt of her dress down.

“No, you just _assumed_ something,” Sasuke retorted. He decided to ignore the fact that Sakura's assumption was more or less right. She was wrong when it came to details but the very core of her assumption was true. Unlike Naruto's when it came to Sakura's reaction if she knew Sasuke was gay. Naruto had claimed that Sakura would perhaps even be willing to actually help them stop the wedding from happening. It seemed it didn't bother her too much, she simply wanted to make sure her needs and wants would be fulfilled.

“I'm sorry,” she cried, her eyes glossing over. “Let's start over, okay? Just give me another shot at this, I know I won't disappoint you—”

“Not today,” Sasuke breathed out. “I was opposed to it to begin with, and I'm seriously not in the mood right now,” he added.

“ _Why_ are you even opposed to it?!” Sakura questioned. “How can you _not_ be in the mood, I'm here, I'm willing, I will be your _wife_ ,” she reminded him as if she _had_ to remind him.

“I don’t have to explain myself to you,” Sasuke barked.

“You really do,” she laughed, sounding hysterical. “I'm pretty fucking certain that you're gay. You were caught kissing your _best friend_ , and you're avoiding sex. There was a time I thought you had an erectile dysfunction but I believe everything works just the way it should. So show me that it's going to work for me too. Because one year from now I want to either already have a child or be at least seven months pregnant.”

“…why?” Sasuke blurted out. He had no idea why it had to be scheduled like that. Or why his opinion was considered so unimportant that he wasn’t even asked to give it.

“Because this is what happy couples _do_ ,” Sakura snapped at him. “If anyone finds out that our marriage was planned by our _parents_ , it'll be humiliating. Don't humiliate me. I want everyone to see that you love me, that you're attracted to me, that we’re a happy family,” she demanded.

“It's ridiculous—”

Sasuke paused when he heard the doors to his apartment unlock. He’s given Naruto the keys to make it easier for him to crash the rendezvous. And now he was coming at a worst possible time.

“What,” Sakura stuttered, watching the blonde open the doors and enter the apartment. The man really did look like shit. Sasuke hoped it was because Naruto _wanted_ to look like a hot mess.

“Oh, I'm,” the blonde paused too, sending Sasuke an uncertain look, “I'm sorry, I guess I should leave, so—”

“No, you should _stay_ ,” Sakura disagreed. “Stay and join the party. I guess it's the only way to arouse my future husband. Perhaps you should just come, live with us and share the bed with us—”

“You should leave, Naruto,” Sasuke interrupted her. “We’ll talk later.”

“Yeah, I _should_ leave,” the blonde slowly nodded. “Just give me a call later, so—”

“You know what? _I_ will leave. I bet he prefers _you_ to stay anyways,” Sakura barked, suddenly getting up.

“What? _No_ , why?! Don't argue guys, you're just stressed, and it's probably mostly my fault, so slow down,” Naruto pleaded.

“I didn't hear _him_ protest,” Sakura whispered, grabbing her bag and coat, and pulling her boots on bare feet, evidently deciding on leaving the pantyhose and socks behind. Sasuke wasn't going to remind her about them, though. He really did want her to leave. As soon as possible.

“ _Sasuke_ ,” Naruto scolded him.

“What?” Sasuke scoffed at him. He knew _what_.

“Just… fuck, can you just pause for a sec? What's wrong?” Naruto asked.

“And you're a couple therapy specialist too,” Sasuke barked at him. “There's no end to your talents—”

“Shut up,” the blonde complained. “Sakura, I'll go with you, alright? Just tell me what's going on.”

“No,” Sakura disagreed, and pretty much ran off, slamming the doors to Sasuke's flat.

“Spill it,” Naruto sighed, slumping on the couch as if he owned the place and was tired of everything.

“Not now,” Sasuke complained.

“Sasuke, this is a fucking disaster, so tell me what's wrong,” the blonde demanded in a quiet voice, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Why did she storm off like this?”

“She thinks we're lovers,” Sasuke muttered in reply.

“ _Really_?” Naruto whined. “I mean, I know where she's coming from but it's still ridiculous,” he blurted out. “If this was a romantic comedy, you should chase after her but she's kind of said no so many times that it could come out as pretty creepy—”

“I have no intention of chasing after her so she can rest assured,” Sasuke interrupted him, sounding a tad bit more dry than he intended to.

“Is this whole _she thinks we're lovers_ the only thing you're upset about or—”

“I'm not _upset_ ,” Sasuke protested. “I'm pissed off.”

“Nomenclature,” the blonde sighed. “What did she do?”

“I don’t feel like talking about it right now,” Sasuke answered. “You're still alive,” he noted. “Your creep must've—”

“We’re not going to talk about him anymore,” Naruto uttered. “Just forget that he even exists.”

“I don’t think it's possible,” Sasuke informed him. “I guess neither of us is in the mood for a talk,” he added.

“Yeah, I'm kind of exhausted,” the other man agreed. “You want me to stay or go?” he yawned. Sasuke tilted his head as he studied the other man's tired face.

“Stay and do what?” he asked.

“Keep you company,” Naruto answered. “You seem a little bit shaken, and I can either distract you from your problems or listen to them, or whatever else you need,” he offered. “Nothing too active though,” he pleaded.

“You can leave,” Sasuke said after a longer while. He wouldn't mind Naruto staying there. He's already proven himself to be a pleasant company even when they weren't talking or were talking about some random shit. And this was probably a bad thing. He didn't want Naruto to worry that Sasuke would turn out to be as fucked up as his other creepy clients. 

“You sure? Because I can also stay,” the blonde whispered.

“Naruto,” Sasuke started, already regretting saying anything. He heard the blonde let out a faint _yeah_ , so he continued, “do you actually care or is this you doing your job?” he asked.

“…both,” the man answered. Sasuke leaned back, and side-eyed him.

“It's confusing,” he confessed. “You keep doing things that go beyond your contract. If money is all you're after, then you could've just been my best man. You could've accepted me firing you. And yet you keep insisting on fixing my life. Offering to keep me company. You're just making it harder for yourself,” he pointed out.

“…making _what_ harder?” Naruto inquired.

“You don’t keep the professional distance,” Sasuke explained. “I do realize that I can't really compare our jobs but I wouldn't offer _my_ clients to keep them company just because they look _shaken_ ,” he stated, stopping himself from doing the quotation marks with his fingers. It was all for naught because Naruto made them for him.

“Sasuke, you’re paying me enough to do with my time what you please,” Naruto blurted out. “This month only but—”

_“This_ is why people get… _attached_ to you,” Sasuke commented. The blonde remained silent for at least next two minutes, and when he spoke, he sounded as if he had a sore throat.

“Are _you_ getting attached?” he inquired. Sasuke sucked in a breath. He knew he should've immediately protested and said _no_ but his mouth just didn't work the way it should. Naruto shook his head. “Three weeks from now I'm going to disappear,” he informed Sasuke. “For good. I'm probably going to leave the country, maybe even the continent,” he continued. “So, frankly, at this point I don’t care,” he breathed out.

“I guess it means you've finally figured out that you _don't_ have everything under control,” Sasuke sighed, massaging his temples. “You can disappear sooner if you want. Hiring you was a terrible idea, so—”

“It's okay, I can stay with you for three more weeks,” the blonde interrupted him. “And sorry, normally everything is way easier and more pleasant,” he said. “It's all fun and games. Normally, I don’t get this invested because there's no need for me to do it,” he continued. “With you it's just… special case.”

“You started it,” Sasuke pointed out. He wasn’t certain _why_ he felt the need to accentuate that it wasn't his fault that everything's gotten so complicated. He wasn’t certain whether it was Naruto's fault either. It just… happened to be this way.

However, despite all of his uncertainties, he did know that Naruto wasn't a good idea. Getting _attached_ to him was a terrible one, and so spending more time together than the _contract_ demanded was an ever worse one. Doomed to end in a horrifying way.

“But I will end it,” Sasuke announced. “Naruto, the next time we’ll see each other will be because my family is going to meet you. Then it'll be the rehearsal, and then the wedding,” he stated.

“What about,” Naruto paused and cleared his throat, “why does it end in a _wedding_?” he asked.

“Because I hope Sakura won’t be causing me too much trouble,” Sasuke replied. The woman's said that the details of their future marriage were _humiliating_. There was a chance that she was as much of a victim here as he was. Nevertheless, she had to know how unavoidable and finite it all was. And she probably could be easily bribed with a promise of a child. She wanted it to _look_ good. This much Sasuke was able to secure for her. He wasn’t yet certain _how_ but he supposed that given enough time and with a clearer mind, he'd be able to think up a solution.

“…don't marry her,” Naruto whispered, sounding way flatter than Sasuke would've expected. “Don't make important decisions when you're like _this_ ,” he pleaded.

“Like _what_?” Sasuke scoffed.

“I don’t know how you want me to word it but we both know that you're not your usual self right now,” the blonde answered. “And Sasuke, if you want to see me as few times as possible, it's okay,” he said. “But I _will_ be at your disposal for the next three weeks. I can't exactly busy myself with something else when you might need me to come at a short notice, so—”

“You have no-one, do you?” Sasuke realized. Naruto blinked, his blue eyes empty and glued to Sasuke's. “I'm not even _half_ as lonely as you are, and it's me, who had to hire himself some _friends_ ,” Sasuke continued. “You're just spending your life with some random dudes, pretending to be a part of _their_ lives but you don't have one of your own—”

“I see you've suddenly found your true calling as an amateur psychologist,” Naruto barked.

“You're doing the same thing to me,” Sasuke snapped. “Don't be surprised that you're not the only one doing the analyzing.”

“It doesn't matter anyways,” Naruto sighed after a longer while, his face hidden in his linked hands, his voice muffled, barely squeezing through his tightly squeezed fingers. “But Sasuke, in three weeks time I'm going to disappear from your life for good. And at that point in time you might either be an unhappy married man or an unhappy unmarried man. The choice is yours. Don't do something you'll regret for the rest of your life because of a guy you've known for a week.” 

“You're thinking too highly of yourself,” Sasuke muttered.

“Well sorry but right now it sounds like you're going to get married because you want to avoid me,” Naruto blurted out. “And this plan just fucking sucks and is stupid as hell. So do prove me that I'm getting ahead of myself and don't ruin your life for a stupid reason, _please_ ,” he chirped. Sasuke frowned at him, feeling an inexplicable urge to throw a pillow at the dumbass.

“I am merely assuming this but I think that if you've decided to finally quit this ridiculous job despite already having thousands of reasons why you should quit it, the meeting with your future murderer didn't exactly go as planned,” Sasuke gritted through his teeth. “And yet you plan to stay here, when he already knows your phone number, probably also address and other shit. I _assume_ you're staying here because of something stupid, like perhaps the fact that I've hired you,” he continued. “I do believe there are idiots, who would admire your work ethics but you're pretty much serving yourself to the guy on a silver plate,” he stated. “I _don’t_ want to be even partially responsible for the fact that the next time your face appears in a newspaper it'll be because you’ll be a missing person or even just a dead body—”

“You're being too dramatic,” Naruto complained.

“I also don't want the newspapers to think _I_ am the killer,” Sasuke barked.

“Wow, yeah, that _would_ be a problem,” the blonde mumbled out. “But hey, I won't get _killed_ ,” he said. “So just… relax,” he pleaded.

“I can't relax when you don't want to tell me what's going on,” Sasuke replied. “And I know I can't make you tell me what's going on, so the only available option is cutting myself off of you.”

“I can write some declaration that you're not the killer,” the dumbass offered with a stupid smile.

“Having something like this is pretty incriminating,” Sasuke pointed out in a flat voice. Some time ago, he wasn't able to pinpoint exactly _when_ , Naruto’s dumb ideas stopped surprising him. “So you’re either going to disappear or tell me what's going on. Your choice,” he barked.

* * *

Naruto frowned as Sasuke made his demand. It was a reasonable one. Sasuke had every reason to make it. But it was still… inconvenient to say the least. Naruto moved his hands as if he was about to say something, hoping he'd be able to come up with something to bullshit his way out of this but he stopped himself when he realized it wasn't going to work anyways.

Besides, _this_ didn't really matter anymore. Naruto was going to finish this job, then spend two weeks with Gaara, and then _disappear_. Probably just move abroad. He hasn't been really spending his money, the apartments he has been renting were rather cheap, most of his costs of living was covered by _work_ _expenses_ , he had no time to indulge himself, and so it was just what he was sending to his mom (even though she claimed she could easily support herself, thank you very much, and Naruto was quite certain that she hasn’t spent any of it), and the lease for the car. And so he should be able to support himself for a few months even if he wasn't going to work.

“He's just being a dick but he's mostly being a dick to _me_ , so I think you're good. Especially since I'll make sure that you have nothing to worry about,” Naruto confessed.

“What about you?” Sasuke asked, and his mimic muscles were apparently paralyzed because none of them even twitched. “Do _you_ have something to worry about?”

“Not really, it's just annoying,” Naruto answered. “Now you should tell me more about that Sakura drama. You kind of owe me.”

“I don't owe you,” the jerk disagreed. “Or I can tell you that she's just being _annoying_. It’s not exactly an answer, is it?” he hissed.

Naruto rolled his eyes. Sasuke did have a point. But he was kind of obnoxious about it. “Gaara wants to spend quality time with me, and I had to agree. So it's all good, just _annoying_ ,” Naruto clarified. “Now you. Why everything went to hell?”

“She offered to suck me off, and I disagreed because I'm not an idiot, who tells himself he has to do something,” Sasuke barked.

“Sasuke, you're getting _married_ because you've told yourself that—”

“Shut up,” the man grunted.

“Fine,” Naruto sighed. “I'll talk to her tomorrow. Does she know that you're a virgin or—”

“Don't call me a _virgin_ ,” Sasuke protested.

“It's nothing shameful, you know,” Naruto blurted out. “It is unusual but—”

“Just shut up,” the man snapped. “And no, she doesn't know.”

“Then I'll tell her. This should explain why you've freaked out,” Naruto said. “And you've obviously had every reason to freak out but—”

“Shut your face,” Sasuke insisted. “I'm serious, _stop_ talking,” he added, probably because he saw Naruto open his mouth. “So you'll finish this job, then go on a date or whatever with the creep, and then disappear for good?”

“I've promised him two weeks,” Naruto answered. Sasuke glared at him. “Don't look at me like this, I could've lied to you but—”

“ _I'm honored_ ,” Sasuke gritted through his teeth. “Can't you just disappear sooner? You don't have to go through with what you've promised him.”

“Oh, I kind of do,” Naruto chirped. “But don't you worry your pretty little head about it because it'll all be good,” he chirped. He hoped Sasuke was going to focus on the patronizing tone, which he so obviously hated, and not on the actual content. Judging from Sasuke's reaction, it failed.

“Why?” the man asked in a tense voice.

“Because otherwise everything will go down the drain,” Naruto answered.

“Stop rewording your bullshit and answer me for real,” Sasuke barked.

“Gaara said he would expose me, you, and by exposing me he exposes my previous clients,” Naruto started enumerating in a tired tone, “and this translates into a high number of ruined lives and even more lawsuits, so this is why—”

“And how do you know that he will let you go after these two weeks?” Sasuke asked.

Naruto let out a heavy sigh. He didn't. “He'll get sick of me after these two weeks,” he mumbled out.

“He _won't_ ,” Sasuke gritted through his teeth, his eyes narrowed.

“Sasuke, you _know_ I can be pretty obnoxious,” Naruto tried to laugh it off.

“I hope you're ready to spend the rest of your life being blackmailed by him because this is how you'll end up—”

“I thought he was going to _kill_ me,” Naruto blurted out.

“That was for when I thought you to be less of an idiot,” Sasuke snapped. “Turns out I was wrong.”

“So what do you propose?” Naruto sighed. He wasn’t really expecting an answer. Sasuke was supposed to get frustrated with him, act like a jerk—or perhaps act like a normal person would since Naruto's given him every reason to act like a jerk. This was why he got almost startled when Sasuke's hand landed on his shoulder. Naruto turned his head to look at the other man, his face probably looking like a giant question mark.

“I thought you were into this whole _touching in a comforting, non-sexual way_ thing,” Sasuke barked.

“Well, yeah, but you are clearly _not_ into it,” Naruto mumbled out.

“I've already been forced to do worse things,” Sasuke replied. “And so I believe I’ll be able to somehow survive this,” he added, and Naruto was certain that if Sasuke's voice was a fabric, it would be drenched with sarcasm. But it was also a nice fabric. Especially if one was to send it to some dry cleaning or something. “Stop patronizing me,” Sasuke demanded.

“I'm not,” Naruto whined. “But you are my client, and keeping you comfortable is part of my job,” he explained.

“You being uncomfortable makes me uncomfortable,” Sasuke muttered back. Naruto had no idea whether the man meant it or not. Probably no. He was probably lying. Nevertheless, it was a nice lie, he had to acknowledge at least this much. “You should get him a restraining order. And let whatever he wants to do happen since he’ll be breaking his part of the deal. Then sue him for that.”

“He's targeting my _clients_ ,” Naruto whined. “I can't let him hurt them, and he _knows_ it,” he complained, simultaneously taking out his phone, which has just buzzed. Naruto flipped it open, and read the message. _Why aren't you home_? Naruto gulped, hoping Sasuke wasn’t going to notice anything. “Not to mention that you'd be at most risk, and nobody would ever hire me again,” Naruto continued, frantically trying to rid his voice of any strain. “So just let me handle it, and stop worrying about it. It's not worth it,” he pleaded. Sasuke’s fingers bit almost painfully into his shoulder before the man released him from his grip.

“And the worst thing that could happen to me is that my marriage will be called off because of your incompetence,” Sasuke calmly pointed out. “And when it comes to your other clients, if they're too afraid to tell their life partner that they don't have a person they could ask to be their best man for them, their relationships probably suck anyways. They will either float or sink. Both outcomes are better than living in a lie,” he added. “So worry about yourself,” he advised. Naruto took a deep breath. Three weeks. He had three more weeks with Sasuke. Suddenly, _this_ little detail started to play a part in his decision too. Sasuke made him feel _safe_ , and this was terrifying him. It was a dangerous feeling. Especially when somebody was either observing his apartment or following him. “You look scared,” Sasuke commented in a matter-of-factly way, sounding as if he was merely stating a fact, a fact here didn't care too deeply about. “Stay,” he sighed. “And starting tomorrow, you should probably rent yourself a room in a hotel—”

“You have no idea how easy it is to bribe the hotel staff,” Naruto blurted out before he could stop himself. He had considered moving into a hotel before, of course he had. But he also knew there was a chance that his room wouldn't be just his own, how easy it would be to get an access into it. “Sorry, forget it. I'll manage,” he promised. “Let's get back to you—”

“You're welcome to stay here until you find yourself a better place,” Sasuke offered.

“I… no, thank you but no,” Naruto protested. “I can't just impose on you like this, and—”

“You don't have to explain yourself to me,” Sasuke murmured. “And I can stay someplace else for three weeks, so,” his voice trailed off. “It's just an option. Do with it what you want.”

“Sasuke, I can see that you're freaking out every time I touch your shit, so,” Naruto snorted. “You're going out of character,” he chuckled. “Can't you be the boring jerk I've met a week ago?”

“You've never been right about me,” Sasuke sighed. “Why do you even want me to act like a jerk? It was the same thing last night,” he complained.

“Because it's easier when you're a jerk,” Naruto answered. Sasuke remained quiet for the next few minutes, and the silence that befell them was getting more and more uncomfortable with every passing second.

“You remind me of Itachi,” Sasuke suddenly blurted out, sounding as if he himself too was surprised that it was him, who started talking first. Naruto wanted to ask _why_ but he was pretty certain that if he was to do that, Sasuke would've refused to answer. And then he'd probably get so horrified that he started the topic, that he'd go quiet for… for the rest of the evening. Night. However long Naruto was going to stay there instead of finally leaving. “He,” Sasuke whispered and paused, and it was another long moment of silence, “he too insisted on doing everything on his own,” Sasuke eventually concluded. It was a rather short, even generic sentence, and yet Sasuke looked as if he just shared his most intimate thoughts. Online. For everyone to see.

Naruto opened and closed his mouth, uncertain about how to proceed, and what was even his _goal_ anymore. A few days ago he would've just been _curious_ because, however tragic the death of Sasuke's brother was, it was also _interesting_ , and Naruto wanted to know more, he believed he _should_ know more. And now, when Sasuke was sort of sharing, it felt wrong. Because Sasuke wasn't doing it to satiate Naruto's curiosity or to make his job easier, no, it was just him wanting to make a point and mentioning his dead brother in the process. It was _natural_. And it had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Sasuke had _hired_ Naruto.

“Till the very end,” Sasuke continued, his voice tense, “he was giving more than he could or should till the end. Our father… he… he was very proud of him. Still is,” the man breathed out. And _normally,_ Naruto probably wouldn't think twice before saying something stupid and disrespectful. He wouldn't have missed an opportunity like this to call out Sasuke’s father on being a bad parent. But it wasn’t normal. It would've hurt Sasuke, and even though probably hurting Sasuke and making sure he hated Naruto was the right thing to do—no matter how strange or convoluted it sounded—Naruto wasn’t able to bring himself to it. “I'm not saying that it killed him,” Sasuke said and cleared his throat, “but it didn't make his life easier.”

“…okay,” Naruto whispered in reply, uncertain to what he was saying _yes_ , and if he even was saying _yes_ to anything. Whatever it was, it seemed that saying _okay_ was the right thing to say because Sasuke let out a strangely relieved sigh. As if he too was waiting for Naruto to make fun of him. The blonde scooted closer to the other man. To his client. Sasuke was his client. And yet everything about this job was screaming unprofessionalism. Even the fact that Karin, Naruto's _cousin_ ** _,_** was working for the man. Then came the wreck-the-wedding plan, and Gaara, and too much touching, and now here they were. Sitting on a couch, too close to each other because Naruto moved so close, and Sasuke did nothing to stop him. He didn't even comment on it. As if it was absolutely normal. The worst thing was that Naruto felt as if he hasn't moved close enough. Because he _wanted_ to touch Sasuke. Not to mess with him, not to show him something, he just wanted to feel the other man under his fingertips, responding to _his_ touch. And that was a major fuck-up. “Why are you single, Sasuke?” Naruto mumbled out. “There's literally nothing wrong with you, so why—”

“I'm not single, I'm _engaged_ ,” Sasuke interrupted him in a tired voice. “And are you implying that there’s something wrong with single people? Because if you are—”

“No, it's just… baffling me,” Naruto sighed. “Are you, like, uninterested in relationships or—”

“No, I'm just gay,” Sasuke replied. “My parents don't know, I assume they don't want to know, and if I were to get stupidly involved with someone, this someone could easily either blackmail me or just blabber everything out. Not to mention that there aren't too many people, who would want to get involved with someone closeted,” he muttered. “Why do you even ask?”

“Sorry,” Naruto breathed out. “It's not my business, I was just curious,” he added. He wasn't lying. It _wasn’t_ his business. A part of him _wished_ it was but it wasn't. And it was never going to be his business. Three weeks from now, he was going to disappear from Sasuke's life. For good. And for Sasuke's good. Naruto swallowed a sigh, and opened his phone when it buzzed again. _I've_ _ordered you food. The delivery guy is getting impatient. When are you coming back?_

“Oh for fuck's sake,” Naruto whined. He had no idea whether Gaara was or wasn’t being creepy. He knew however that he had no intention of eating whatever the man has ordered for him. And so he probably should've texted him back, and make this little issue perfectly clear but texting Gaara was the last thing Naruto wanted to do.

“What,” Sasuke grunted. Naruto sighed again instead of replying. Because what was he supposed to say? “You used to be the only person, who knew,” Sasuke confessed out of the blue. “Now the entire world is suspecting it—"

“Sorry,” Naruto blurted out.

“I thought it was going to be worse,” Sasuke whispered.

“If I'm ever going to release a music album, this is what I'm calling it,” Naruto snorted. Sasuke tilted his head and sent Naruto a weak smile. “You're being pretty open today,” the blonde commented. “Good for you.”

“Because you'll disappear three weeks from now,” Sasuke murmured. “And we have signed a confidentiality agreement,” he chuckled.

“Oh,” Naruto mumbled out.

For some reason, he felt _hurt_.    


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Naruto and Gaara talk, Naruto agrees to spending two weeks with Gaara after he's done with his current job and to sending one text daily to him  
> 2\. Sasuke calls Karin hoping that having a talk with her would make him feel better, it doesn't, he thinks of calling Naruto but decides that would've been creepy, Sakura comes one hour early, and before she enters the apartment Sasuke calls Naruto to tell him that, turns out Naruto is nearby anyway, so all is good; then the 'let's have sex' show starts, it doesn't go as planned, Sakura claims Sasuke's gay, she says they can work around it, they start arguing, Naruto comes in at a rather bad moment, Sakura storms out  
> 3\. Sasuke and Naruto have yet another heart to heart talk, they share their news.
> 
> In other news, I still suck at writing summaries, so you might still be surprised by something in the next chapters but oh well, this is how life is.
> 
> And I'm also sorry for being absent for so long but I had lots of things piled up ;(


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, we ALL knew it was coming :'D
> 
> And by it I mean an anxiety attack, so beware

When Naruto woke up, he wasn't expecting to find Sasuke still sleeping next to him. He wasn't ready for that view. He didn't know what to do about the other man's shoulder blades or the nape of his neck, he had no idea how to proceed when he was presented with sleeping Sasuke. He also couldn't explain his weird urge to touch the other man's back, just between his shoulder blades. And Sasuke probably wasn’t expecting Naruto to follow up on his weird urge because Naruto heard him let out an unhappy grunt, then there was some rustling, and then Sasuke turned on his other side to face Naruto. He had red marks from the pillow on his cheek. He looked as if he would much rather die than properly wake up.

“Sorry, go back to sleep,” Naruto murmured. “I just thought you were already awake,” he lied.

“I am,” Sasuke replied, closing his eyes. “So what is it?”

“Nothing,” Naruto answered. Being close to Sasuke was difficult. Because it felt good. And Naruto wasn't allowed to feel this good next to a client. He wasn’t allowed to think of him  _like this_ , like there could ever be another reason why they slept together. They shouldn't really be doing that in the first place. Not when they were both…

“Whatever,” the man yawned. Yesterday, Sasuke offered Naruto to stay however long he wanted but Naruto knew that even this one night was already pushing it. There was, however, no other choice. At least not now. “I'm going out to work in an hour and a half,” Sasuke informed Naruto after checking his phone. “We can't be seen together, so you should leave after me. If anybody's waiting for me, they'll see you too if you go before me, so,” he yawned. “That's probably the safest bet.”

“I can put on drag,” Naruto offered. “I'm still walking around with that bag from your stag night,” he sighed.

“Good thinking,” Sasuke murmured, and turned his back on Naruto, apparently completely unaware of the effect his back had on the blonde. Even when he was wearing a goddamn shirt. Naruto muffled a heavy sigh, and turned on his other side, set on not leaving the bed until Sasuke left the apartment.

* * *

 

Sasuke marched towards his father's office, already feeling anxious. Karin was walking in front of him, her presence calming his wracked nerves. She definitely was a go-getter. Probably the only reason why she wasn’t higher in the hierarchy yet was that Sasuke couldn't bring himself to say goodbye to her when he needed her so much, and because every once in a while she’d say some weird shit. Sasuke simply ignored her random outbursts since they were merely unpleasant at worst, and absolutely insignificant at best.

He cursed when his phone rang. He didn't have time to be distracted. It was his first meeting with father ever since that Naruto  _incident_ , and—

And it was Naruto, who was calling. Sasuke cursed again and picked up the phone. “Be quick about it, I don’t have much time right now,” he spat out.

“…when are you going to have time then?” Naruto mumbled out.

“Just tell me what you want,” Sasuke replied with an exasperated sigh.

“It can wait,” Naruto assured him. “Call me when you're done with your  _thing_ ,” he pleaded and hung up on Sasuke, who absolutely hated people hanging up on him like this.

“Remind me to call Naruto after the meeting,” Sasuke told Karin, who rolled her eyes at the request. “…why don't you like him?” Sasuke questioned before he could stop himself. It wasn’t his business. He  _knew_  it wasn’t his business.

“He's loud and annoying,” Karin muttered in answer. 

“He is,” Sasuke agreed. He knocked on his father's office doors, and readied himself for being walked all over by him.

* * *

 

Naruto swallowed a curse, his fist hitting against the wardrobe wall. He got himself stuck in there. Of course he did. Opening almost all the windows in the flat and ignoring all these slamming doors and windows was a great start. And then, when he wanted to take a shower, he realized there weren't any clean towels, and clean towels were in Sasuke's stupid wardrobe, and now Naruto was stuck.

And there was a motion sensor in there, so unless Naruto was flailing his arms like crazy, he was sitting in pitch black darkness. Alone. Closed. With no way of escaping, no matter what would be happening around him. If there was going to be a fire, he was a goner. If there was a gas leak, he was a goner. If a robber, who wouldn't mind killing someone, went into the apartment, Naruto was a goner. Unable to defend himself, unable to escape, barely able to see anything. Locked with a dying phone. Fucking perfect.

Naruto slumped on the floor, and pulled his knees close to his chest. All he could do was wait. Some rational part of his mind kept repeating him that everything was fine, and that he wasn't in danger but soon Naruto's thoughts were scrambled, there was a litany of  _calm down calm down calm down_ , and then there were all these random thoughts. Like wondering if oxygen wasn’t going to deplete before Sasuke would…

Sasuke was a busy man. He had no time to go back to the apartment just to unlock some stupid doors. Naruto whimpered, promising himself that when Sasuke was going to call him again, he'd just lie, and say whatever, and just patiently wait until  Sasuke would come home.

He had to. There was no other way.

* * *

 

“Choose someone else to be your best man,” Sasuke's father said, shuffling through the documents.

“Why?” Sasuke mumbled out. His father raised his eyes from the document he was reading, and stared Sasuke down.

“I believe it's obvious,” he finally answered. “Tell him to not come to the wedding,” he ordered. “I'm surprised I have to tell you to do this, I've expected my son to know what has to be done,” he added, sounding disinterested.

“No,” Sasuke blurted out. He opened his mouth to apologize to his father because  _really_ , what was he thinking, but his father spoke up before Sasuke could, his face dark and frowning.

“You can't be seen with him anymore,” the man gritted through his teeth. “Don’t make me regret trusting you,” he snarled. Sasuke felt as if he’s just been bitch slapped.

“Sir, if I may,” Karin mumbled out, raising her hand as if she was still at school. Sasuke gave her a long stare, hoping she would  _somehow_  be able to read his mind, and that she would stop talking and risking her future promotion and position in the company just because Sasuke was acting like a spoiled child. Unfortunately, the woman didn't even wait for permission to speak. “If Mr. Uzumaki was to disappear now, the gossip about the alleged affair would make more sense,” she said. “Because this is what one would do if these ridiculous rumors were true,” she continued. “But since they're not, it'll seem more natural if nothing's going to change. It was an unfortunate event but it's all been already explained. There are of course those, who doubt the explanation, and removing Mr. Uzumaki from the guest list would just start a new rumor mill.”

“Thank you, Karin,” Sasuke blurted out. She was actually making sense. Of course she was. Unlike him. And his father was clearly considering what she's just said, not immediately dismissing it.

“Fine,” he eventually decided. “But from now on I expect everything to be perfect,” he commanded.

“It will be,” Sasuke promised, standing up, when his father gestured for him to leave. Karin walked a few steps behind him, careful to not get ahead of Sasuke until they would leave his father's office.

“If he decides to fire you, there's nothing I can do about it,” Sasuke whispered to her when they were finally alone.

“I'm not working for  _him_ ,” the woman grunted, folding her arms.

“You  _are_ ,” Sasuke disagreed. “So be careful around him,” he pleaded. “And thank you,” he murmured, rubbing his face. He noted the distressed grunt that left the woman's lips, and the blush on her cheeks. “I'll make sure you'll get promoted after this wedding affair is over,” he promised. “Unless you want it sooner. I'll be able to arrange it, so—”

“I've just said I'm working for  _you_ ,” Karin gritted through her teeth.

“And you're wasting your talents,” Sasuke said. She was. She could easily take his position. “I'll make sure that—”

“You wanted me to remind you to call Naruto,” she interrupted him. Sasuke let out a heavy sigh. Calling Naruto was the last thing he wanted to do right now.

“Thank you,” he replied. “Not only for reminding me to call Naruto,” he clarified. Karin nodded and actually smiled at him. It was a rare sight. Sasuke gave her a final nod before fishing for his phone and entering his office.

* * *

 

Naruto gasped when he heard his phone ring. It's been less than an hour since he last talked to Sasuke but it felt as if he's spent at least two years locked in that wardrobe. He's been counting his every breath to distract himself from awaiting the impeding doom, and he breathed exactly nine hundred and sixty six times since he started counting. It felt as if the air was only half as rich in oxygen as the air  _outside_.

He grabbed his phone, noting that he had only fourteen percent of battery life left. He was guessing that his phone was going to die before Sasuke would come back, and then he wouldn't be even able to call the emergency number if things were going to get worse. Naruto let out a hysterical laugh when he realized that Sasuke perhaps truly was going to be tried in a murder case, and having Naruto's corpse in his wardrobe was probably way more incriminating than having a written declaration of innocence.

He picked up the phone when Sasuke called him for the second time, realizing that so far he's been replying after just a few signals, so not replying at all could be rather alarming.

“It's okay, you can get back to work,” he said into the phone. He should be making this conversation short, he needed to save his battery. He would've turned off his phone but then turning it on again could eat more battery than if it was to be launched the whole time.

“What did you even need me for?” Sasuke asked, sounding tired.

“I… I couldn't find the towels but I've found them,” Naruto answered, willing himself to sound  _normal_. “My phone is about to die, so,” he paused.

“My charger should be in the bedroom,” Sasuke informed him. “Feel free to use it,” he added. Naruto waved his hand, so the light would turn on again. “Because you are still at my place, yes?”

“…yeah,” Naruto mumbled out. And he was going to stay there, too. Possibly for good.

“In this case I'll need you to get me something,” Sasuke said.

“I can't,” Naruto blurted out. He heard an annoyed sigh.

“I don't need you to bring it physically to me, I just want you to go to the living room, and in the left drawer under the TV you'll find a white binder, it's one of these wedding bullshit things, I need you to give me the address of the guy, who's baking the wedding cake because I seriously don't feel like calling Sakura right now,” he muttered. “It'll take you less than five minutes,” he added when Naruto still hasn't replied him. He was audibly getting impatient, and Naruto had  _no_  idea how to bullshit his way out of this.

“I can't, sorry,” he mumbled out, praying that Sasuke wasn't going to ask him  _why_. His prayers went unanswered.

“Why?”

“I'm busy,” he blurted out.

“With  _what_?” Sasuke questioned. “Just yesterday you've told me I can do with your time what I want, and I want you to waste  _less than five minutes_  of it,” he barked. “Just give me the address, Naruto,” he pleaded.

“My phone is about to die,” Naruto replied.

“Then charge it,” Sasuke hissed. “If you went to the living room when I asked you for it for the first time, you would've been already done with it,” he complained. “I can't afford another fuck up, so tell whomever is waiting for you that you'll be five minutes late, and do it for me,” he insisted.

“I can't go there,” Naruto confessed, waving his arm again. “I'm locked,” he eventually revealed, massaging his temple. His heart was pounding in his chest, and he was feeling sick.

“What?! What do you mean you’re—”

Sasuke's voice was cut halfway through whatever he intended to say as Naruto's phone decided to die on him, and leave him alone, without a way of calling help. Naruto closed his eyes, let the phone drop on the floor, and leaned forward, resting his forehead against his knees. Now… now he had to wait at least seven or eight hours before Sasuke would come back.

Possibly longer.

Naruto's hands trembled as he cupped the back of his head, and pushed it harder against his knees, trying to find at least one strand of thought that wasn’t running amok in his head, one thing he could hold on to. There was nothing. Nothing aside from his own breath and heartbeat, and so he pressed his hands against his ears, focusing on the sound of blood flowing through his body, and his muscles flexing underneath his skin. He was alive. That was the sound of being alive.

It's been one eternity.

Everything was going to be fine, fine, fine. There was nothing terrible happening to him. He was alive and well, and he was going to survive, he’s always survived, and this time wasn’t going to be any different unless the statistics weren't on his side, so now everything that's been passing him by was going to heap and fall on him, and bury him under its weight and mass. All these fires and floods, and murderers, and gas leaks, and bombs, and suffocation.

No, no, no, it was going to be fine. He just had to sit, and be patient, and then he had to muster enough strength to laugh it off when Sasuke was going to come and save him, but that was all he had to do. Be patient and look strong. Nothing more. He whimpered when he heard a window slamming.

It was the eleventh floor, nobody was going to climb through the window.

But then his blood froze over in his veins as he heard the doors unlock. He pressed his back harder against the shelves as if they could swallow and hide him. He stifled a weak whimper. He knew it couldn't be Sasuke because it's definitely hasn't been seven hours, it hasn't been even  _one_  hour of waiting.

“Naruto?” Sasuke's voice called, sounding uncertain, as if it wasn't expecting an answer. “Are you somewhere here?” Sasuke tried again, because it  _was_  Sasuke. Naruto took a deep breath to stabilize his shaking voice before he yelled back an answer. Then he heard the doors to the wardrobe rattle, and it was a promise of escape. “Step away from the doors,” Sasuke ordered him. Naruto pressed his back even harder into the shelves. “Ready?” Sasuke asked. Naruto breathed out a faint  _yes_ , one that probably went unnoticed. And then the doors were thrown open with a loud snap, and there was finally light, and Sasuke was coming in but Naruto ignored him completely, and hurriedly crawled  _out_ , stopping only after he reached the open window in the kitchen. He heard Sasuke follow him. “Do you want me to call you an ambulance or take you to the hospital?” Sasuke inquired, his voice still uncertain.

“No,” Naruto answered, leaning his back against the wall, and letting himself slump on the floor. Sasuke merely nodded in reply.

“Should I open the doors to the apartment too? They're unlocked,” he whispered.

 Naruto shook his head, the feeling of relief slowly shifting into that of shame. He's made Sasuke come here. It was his fault that the man was here with him, and not wherever he was supposed to be. Sasuke's told him he was  _busy_. He didn't have time to—

Sasuke nodded again, and left Naruto alone in the kitchen. Judging from the noises, Sasuke busied himself with cleaning up the apartment. Naruto gulped.  _He_  should’ve taken care of this.

“I'm sorry, I'll do it, you don't have to clean up after me,” he whimpered. A few seconds later he saw Sasuke enter the kitchen again, wearing only his suit pants and a button down, his sleeves rolled up. The man looked oddly unannoyed and  _lost_.

“Don't worry about it,” Sasuke replied. “Do you want some tea or,” the man paused, “what do you need right now? I can take you outside if you want. Or give you some peace and quiet,” he offered. Naruto sucked in a shaky breath.  _This_  wasn't how it was supposed to go. Sasuke wasn't supposed to act like he cared. He wasn't even supposed to  _be_ there.

“I'm fine,” Naruto mumbled out, folding his arms, and resting his head on them. “Sorry, I didn't want to trouble you—”

“You're a fucking idiot,” Sasuke unexpectedly barked at him. “Fuck, sorry,” he sighed. “Ignore this, I'm just having a rough day,” he excused himself as if he had  _any_ reason to do it. “I'm going to make myself some coffee, so you prefer that or tea?” he asked.

“You seriously don't have to—”

“Tea or coffee?” Sasuke repeated his question.

“Tea,” Naruto  answered.

“I know you don’t feel comfortable with me,” Sasuke started as he took out some white mugs, “but if there's  _anything_  I can do to help you feel better, just say it. I can leave if you want,” he offered. Naruto shook his head when Sasuke started the kettle. The man left the room, and returned a minute later. “Here’s your phone and the charger,” he stated.

“Thanks,” Naruto mumbled out. “You really don’t have to do anything for me, you've already done more than enough, so—”

“If you've told me you were stuck in there the first time you've called me, I would've sent Karin here, and she would've freed you over an hour ago,” Sasuke hissed. “Be so good, and stop being stupid,” he sighed. “You're helping neither yourself nor me like this,” he added. “So spit it out, is there  _anything_  I can do to make you feel better or do you just need some time to calm down?” he questioned.

Naruto said nothing, and Sasuke cursed under his breath.

“Is my presence here making you uncomfortable?” Sasuke questioned. Naruto shook his head. Sasuke’s presence actually had a calming effect on him. “Do you want me to shut up?” the man asked. Naruto shook his head again. Sasuke put the tea next to him on the floor, and sat down on a chair closest to Naruto, sipping on his coffee. “Do you want to stay here?” Sasuke inquired.

“Yes,” Naruto finally replied. They remained quiet for the next few minutes.

“The reason why I came here in person instead of sending Karin is that I wasn’t certain if you were really here,” Sasuke said. “Your battery died, you weren't picking up your phone, I had no idea what was going on except for the fact that something  _was_  going on,” he sighed. “It was annoying.”

“Sorry,” Naruto whispered.

“Having to come here was annoying too,” the man continued. “But I would be coming here to let you out of that wardrobe even if you managed to lock yourself up in there twice a day for the rest of my life,” Sasuke grunted. “I would've probably just removed the doors permanently after three days but,” he paused, “the thing is that while it is annoying and a bother, thinking that you wanted to sit there for  _seven_  more  _hours_  for some stupid made up reason is even more annoying,” he confessed. Naruto raised his head to look at the man but Sasuke's eyes were glued to the wall that was to the left of them, and he refused to return the stare. “So if you were serious about how important it is to you that I feel comfortable, don't do it again,” he pleaded. “Because this situation was very uncomfortable, it still is uncomfortable, and will stay this way until you'll calm down.”

“Sorry,” Naruto grunted.

“That's not what I was going for when I was telling you this,” Sasuke complained. “I  _don’t_  know what you need or want right now. But I can see that you were lying when you've said that this thing isn't too serious and that you can  _manage_  it. I might be a little bit pedantic, and a mess does annoy me but I  _can_ stay in a messy place without freaking out. I simply don't like it, so I avoid it,” he said. “But you actually have a problem—”

“I  _don't_ ,” Naruto protested.

“You're a hot mess right now,” Sasuke disagreed. “I hope none of your other clients forced you to enter any closed off space,” he whispered. “And I probably shouldn't have said that because now you might be remembering it,” he sighed, leaning backwards, and pinching the bridge of his nose. “I'm  _not_  good at it, Naruto,” he confessed. “I need you to tell me what you need right now or else I'll just make everything worse—”

“You're not making anything worse,” Naruto grunted.

“I need to leave two hours from now,” Sasuke said. “Then I have to go to that stupid cake place. I'll be meeting only Karin there, so you're invited to come with me,” he offered. “I don't really care for the sweets, so perhaps having another person to taste them will be a good idea,” he added. “If you'll feel good enough by then and  _want to_ , you can come with me,” he said. “In the meantime I’m yours,” he concluded.

Naruto furiously blinked his eyes when he felt them glossing over. He felt like crying. He had no idea why, so he attributed it to stress. And perhaps to the fact that he wasn’t ready to hear Sasuke say all that stuff. He lowered his head and swallowed a sob that was threatening to spill out of his treacherous throat and mouth. He flinched when he heard Sasuke move, and then felt him sitting next to him.

“I’ll leave if you want me to,” Sasuke whispered. Naruto said nothing to it. Part of him prayed for Sasuke to leave while the other part felt as if he was going to drown in hellfire if the man was going to move even an inch away. “Will it help if I touch you?” Sasuke asked. Naruto let out a soft whimper. He was slowly falling apart, Sasuke was  _letting him_ fall apart, and Naruto knew he would've picked himself up sooner if the man  _didn't_  care about how Naruto felt. Because then he would've  _had to_  pick himself up, there wouldn't be another way, and, apparently, when his body  _was_  presented with a choice, it would much rather have a mental breakdown. 

A bony hand gently landed on his shoulder as Sasuke threw his arm over Naruto’s back. It was soft and noninvasive, and too little. “When you've called me for the first time, I was about to go to a meeting with my father,” Sasuke revealed. As if sitting on his kitchen floor with a guy he hired to be his best man was as natural as the sun rising. “If it wasn’t for your cousin, I might've been forced to fire you,” he said. “So perhaps something good came out of you being stupid too,” he chuckled. Naruto's body trembled, clearly fighting a lost battle. “Karin is probably the closest thing resembling a friend that I have right now,” he confessed out of the blue. Naruto let out half a sob. “Just do your thing, Naruto, don't hold off on my behalf,” Sasuke whispered.

“Why do you even care?” the blonde mumbled out, his voice weak and raspy, his throat too tight.

“You're not so bad,” Sasuke answered. “I know it's just temporary but having you here is better than I've anticipated,” he murmured. “And you suck at taking care of yourself,” he sighed. Naruto let out half a sob, half a snort.

“And vice versa,” he whispered, turning his head to look at the other man, who appeared somewhat tense and nervous but returned his stare nevertheless. Naruto felt as if looking at Sasuke's face triggered bullet-time. He could see every singular breath, the way Sasuke's muscles worked, his nostrils flared just a little, how his Adam's apple moved up and down every time he swallowed. It was all there,  _so close_ , for taking. And that was all there was. Only Sasuke. No wardrobe, no darkness, no death, just Sasuke, who  _came back to_ him. Who said he'd be coming back for the rest of his life. Naruto straightened up his neck, his head leaning towards Sasuke’s, who shifted his position too, his lips parting a little as their faces got closer. Sasuke was just a few inches away. Looking as if he wanted  _it_ , whatever  _it_  was, as well. The air between them seemed to be electrified, it felt as if even the smallest spark could result in an uncontrollable wildfire.

They've kissed already. Back then, at that stupid hotel pub. And that kiss was shit. It was barely a kiss, it was more like Naruto pressing his lips against Sasuke’s. That one was to make their  _romance_  more believable. It worked in all the wrong ways.

Now it was different.

“I'm going to disappear less than three weeks from now,” Naruto whispered. Sasuke nodded, almost unnoticeably. Then he moved his face another few inches closer, so close, that all Naruto could see were Sasuke's eyes. He could feel Sasuke's breath on his skin. Breath, that's gotten noticeably heavier and was matching Naruto's. “Do you really want this?” Naruto asked.

“I'm not sure,” Sasuke rasped back, his lips  _almost_ brushing against Naruto's.

“In this case we should stop,” the blonde suggested. He knew he should've moved away at that precise point—no, he should've kept his distance from the very beginning, allowing  _this_  to go so far was crazy, and he still hasn’t made a single move to pull away.

“It feels too real, Naruto,” Sasuke whispered in a heavy tone. Naruto opened his mouth to reply that it  _was_  real but then he remembered that he couldn't do it. He couldn't do it to Sasuke. He couldn't lead him on just to disappear without a trace. He was supposed to  _fix_  his life, not complicate it even more.

“Sorry, Sasuke, I got carried away,” he replied, forcing himself to sound as if he  _wasn't_  regretting saying these words. The man pulled away from him with a quiet sigh, and rested his head against the wall, still panting, and not looking Naruto in the eye.

“Don't do it again,” Sasuke breathed out. “ _Ever_  again,” he insisted. Naruto nodded. It was physically painful. He felt even worse than before, and he thought it impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Feel free to comment, guys :D
> 
> Also, here are some of my favorite curses translated directly from my mother tongue:
> 
> "I should have a cock shoved up my ass and cock is also my name" - I screwed up
> 
> "1000 cocks into my ass, and an anchor for my back" - this one usually ends with a hopeful message, like, I'd take anything, just please make that dog like me
> 
> "A dog licked your face" - fuck you
> 
> "Don't get so interested or you'll end up with a cat face" - stop prying
> 
> "By the cunt of a hedge hedgehog" - holy shit
> 
> English is so... bare :'D


	9. Chapter 9

“I feel kind of weird when you're watching me like this,” Naruto complained, simultaneously patting dark foundation into his cheeks.

“It's just interesting,” Sasuke blurted out. Perhaps he _was_ being weird, standing in the bathroom doorway, observing Naruto as if the man was showing off incredible magic tricks. “And when you're done… how do I call you?” Sasuke inquired. “Because I would rather _not_ call you Foxy, so if you could pick a name that sounds real…”

“However you want,” Naruto replied, sounding mostly bored. “For me it's just a part of the show,” he explained, making a stupid face at his reflection in the mirror. “A costume,” he added. “Foxy is just my scenic name.”

“So,” Sasuke murmured and paused, slowly realizing there was nothing he needed to say, and that he simply wanted an excuse to watch Naruto transform into Foxy, “why are you even doing this?”

“I like confusing straight guys, and you wouldn't believe how many girls are into it,” Naruto snorted. “Seriously though, it's just fun,” he said. “It's not exactly a lifestyle for me but it's fun. I started when I was a teen, and it just kind of stayed with me. And now Foxy is the only constant in my life,” he murmured.

Sasuke slowly nodded his head. They were supposed to go to the cake place in less than an hour, and Naruto reminded Sasuke they shouldn't be seen together, and now Naruto was standing in his bathroom wearing only Sasuke's bathrobe, and contouring the fuck out of his face. This time it seemed that the end result would be much softer and more natural than that one from the club. And then Sasuke frowned upon seeing the wig Naruto's chosen.

“Karin will be furious,” he commented.

“She doesn't have a monopoly on red hair, my mom has red hair too,” Naruto whined.

“But this is _Karin's_ haircut,” Sasuke pointed out.

“Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery,” Naruto mumbled out. Sasuke tilted his head. “I packed this shit when I still thought you were into her,” the blonde eventually barked. “It was supposed to be a surprise for _later_ , but then it all went to hell.”

“So why don't you wear the blond one?” Sasuke inquired.

“Because if someone _was_ to see us together, it's better if they see Karin, and not some random chick. This time I'll look way more fishy than before,” Naruto replied as if he was making any sense.

“You're taller than Karin,” Sasuke reminded him.

“Going out together is a terrible idea, isn't it,” Naruto sighed, taking off the red wig. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. It probably was but while Naruto did calm down, leaving him alone seemed like an even worse idea.

“In the worst case scenario I'll claim I’m hanging out with my _friend_ ,” Sasuke murmured, simultaneously trying to understand why he would risk his father's already breached trust for something like _this_. It wasn’t important, it _shouldn't_ be important. Naruto was someone he hired, someone, who was going to disappear from Sasuke's life within the next few weeks. His father, on the other hand… he was going to _stay_ , and gaining his trust back was pretty much impossible. “Just try to not annoy Karin,” he sighed. “She's putting up with enough shit already, so if you're even planning to annoy her, forget about going out with me,” he barked.

“I’d _never_ annoy her on purpose, she's scary,” Naruto chortled, and that sound was quite a peculiar dissonance from his face, which already looked pretty _girly_. Sasuke stared at Naruto, carefully studying his features. It didn't make much sense.

“Why don't you take a picture,” Naruto mumbled out. “Seriously, you’re freaking me out,” he complained.

“You're just stupidly good at make-up,” Sasuke barked back, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

“Yes, like you've pointed it out numerous times before, I have many talents,” Naruto hissed. “Why can't you be normal and just admire the finished product?”

“The process of getting to the _finished product_ ,” Sasuke breathed and paused when both Naruto and he made the quotation marks with their fingers, “is more interesting,” he concluded with a heavy sigh. “Aren't you used to being stared at?”

“Yes but not by _you_ ,” Naruto replied. “It's freaking me out that you're actually curious about something. I mean, you usually don't like stuff.”

“I like _stuff_ ,” Sasuke disagreed.

“The only thing you've ever admitted liking aside from archery and sailing is fucking _Matrix_ , and I still can't believe you're buying into this whole Messiah bullshit,” Naruto blurted out. Sasuke huffed. “So yes, me putting on make-up as the _fourth_ thing you enjoy is freaking me out.”

“I don't _enjoy_ it,” Sasuke protested. “It's just _interesting_.”

“You've said the same thing about me not liking elevators. You have peculiar interests,” Naruto commented, sticking a black pencil somewhere near his eye. It looked as if he was about to poke it out but then he drew a perfect line. Sasuke shook his head in disbelief. He was quite certain it was the first time he's seen _anybody_ put on make-up. His mother would always do it behind closed doors, and there weren't too many other women in his life, and men did it rather rarely, and Sasuke didn't know any of them close enough to be able to watch it, and now there was Naruto, and Sasuke wasn't able to curb his curiosity. It was stupid and ridiculous, so, so, _so_ stupid.

“But you _do_ like doing this,” Sasuke pointed out. “And you should probably just admit to yourself that you're claustrophobic as fuck because calling this thing a _dislike_ is a serious understatement.”

“I'd say that torturing me is the fifth thing you like,” Naruto muttered. Sasuke rolled his eyes, and turned on his heel to leave the bathroom but Naruto started talking again, this time sounding slightly panicked, “you don't have to _leave_ , it's _your_ bathroom, and I'm only a guest here, and I'm not even a real guest, so,” the dumbass blurted out.

“I've invited you to stay here, so you _are_ a real guest,” Sasuke disagreed. “And you've told me to leave at least three times already, so make up your mind.”

“I've told you to stop _staring_ ,” the idiot whined.

“Then what am I supposed to do here with you if I can't stare?” Sasuke questioned in a flat voice. Naruto made a stupid face again but this time it wasn't so he could paint his lips better.

“Just don't make it so obvious that you're judging my every move—”

“You're way more _insecure_ than I am,” Sasuke interrupted him. Naruto opened his mouth, let it hang like this for a few seconds, and then, probably upon realizing there was nothing smart he could say, closed it. “If I wasn’t enjoying your company, I wouldn't have invited you to stay here. And if I thought you sucked at something, I would've told you. I've already done it a few times,” Sasuke reminded the idiot.

“You're being awfully nice today,” Naruto barked at him. “Watch out or I'll fall for you and have a catfight with Sakura—”

“Shut up and stop being ridiculous,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“I'm not being _ridiculous_ , I'm pretty certain some stupid magazine put you on one of them most desirable bachelor list. Probably way, way, _way_ behind the podium but still,” he snorted.

“No, I've never made any such list,” Sasuke muttered and let out an exasperated sigh. “ _My_ net worth isn't high enough to land me even the last place,” he confessed. “You're pretty materialistic—"

“I’m _not_ ,” Naruto protested. “If I _was_ materialistic, I would've known your net worth,” he pointed out. Sasuke shook his head. “Besides, I've already told you that you can be my trophy husband—”

“Sure,” Sasuke muttered. “What now?”

“Well,” the idiot mumbled out, clearly embarrassed, and _good_ , he should be embarrassed.

“Thought so,” Sasuke hissed. “So stop spewing nonsense, and get dressed.”

“ _Right_ ,” Naruto breathed out, sounding way too relieved for Sasuke's liking, so Sasuke rolled his eyes, and finally left the bathroom to give the idiot some privacy.

* * *

 

Naruto sent his cousin a sheepish smile as she glared at him, clearly close to blowing up. Sasuke, on the other hand, looked mostly _bored_ but this look kind of suited him, and it was exactly what Naruto was used to, and so it was strangely comforting.

“I've told you to throw this thing _out_ ,” Karin growled in a half-voice.

“It's real hair,” Naruto whined. Karin… used to be one of his inspirations, mostly because she was family, and she resembled Naruto's mom closely enough that it seemed _this_ was what Naruto would've looked like if he was a girl, and it was just perfect, and Karin hated everything about it, apparently feeling as if Naruto was _mocking_ her. He’d tried to explain it to her, it didn't work, and so he stopped drawing his inspiration from Karin because he didn't want to upset her but then this whole mess happened, and now he put on Karin's hair to meet Karin. “I'm _not_ doing this to annoy you,” Naruto whispered to her. “I just didn't want anyone to wonder who the blond chick is, and besides, then people could be looking closer, and they would recognize my face, and that's just—”

“Do you _ever_ shut up?” she grunted. “It's a stupid idea, and you _know it_. Why are you even here?”

“I've invited him,” Sasuke replied her.

“If you want to get disowned, there are easier and less painful ways than prancing around with this idiot,” she barked at her boss. Naruto snorted, and Sasuke glared at _him_. Not her, _him_. “So if that's your plan, do let me know beforehand, so I can procure you some money—”

“If you’re offering embezzlement, count me out. And I'm going to pretend it was just a joke,” Sasuke interrupted her. “Where's the cake guy?”

“Inside,” she answered. “Follow me,” she sighed, and turned towards the entrance. Naruto gave her back a huge grin. He liked Karin. It was a shame that the feeling wasn’t mutual. And it was nice to see that Sasuke was treating her well. They went after her, and soon they were standing by a long table that was cluttered with cake stands and platters, and there were cakes, pies, muffins, mousses, creams, and other fancy looking desserts.

“Welcome, welcome,” the guy, a sturdy looking man said in a singsongvoice. “Your wifey's been here with her friends, and made some initial selection but now—”

“I trust her taste,” Sasuke replied. “If I _knew_ I didn't have to come here, I would—”

“Sasuke, it's free cake, and we're staying,” Naruto protested. Karin let out a disagreeing noise.

“Sakura and I are paying for it, it's not _free_ ,” Sasuke grunted.

“All the more reasons to stay,” Naruto chirped.

“Listen to the nice lady,” the guy laughed. “Like I've said, your wifey's made some initial selection but she insisted that you try everything out too. And then only the desserts you both liked will be—”

“I don’t like desserts,” Sasuke sighed.

“That's because you haven't tried mine out yet,” the guy blurted out, his eyebrow slightly twitching. “And there can't be a wedding without desserts now, can it? So just try everything that catches your attention, and tell me which ones you liked the most,” he said. Naruto nodded, mostly to make the guy feel a little bit more at ease because he clearly worked his ass off, Sasuke could seem intimidating if one didn't know him better, and he was also being an asshole to the poor guy, and all the desserts looked really good.

“I can't try them all out, I don’t want to get sick,” Sasuke complained.

“That's why you've brought _us_ here, right?” Naruto murmured. “We’ll help you make the right choice, so—”

“I don’t like desserts either,” Karin blurted out. “It's a huge waste of time, so—”

“You _like_ desserts,” Naruto disagreed. “I _know_ you, you can't just lie to me like this.”

“I've outgrown this,” the woman scoffed. Naruto rolled his eyes. It was trying out cakes, for fuck's sake. There was absolutely nothing not to like about it, except for the fact that the desserts were meant for the wedding reception, and probably none of them wanted the reception to actually take place, and so tasting these cakes _was_ a waste of time _but_ they were also _cakes_.

“Whatever, it just means there's more left for me,” Naruto grunted, grabbing a tiny dessert fork and stabbing a creamy piece of chocolate cake with it. He put it in his mouth and made a sound as if he was a cumming horse. The cake wasn’t _this_ good, he just wanted to unnerve Karin. “Thishish good,” he mumbled out.

“Great, we’re taking this one,” Sasuke muttered, looking at his phone.

“You can't be serious,” Karin whined. “She doesn't know _shit_ about cakes,” she howled.

“I've eaten more wedding cakes than you,” Naruto disagreed. The cake guy was looking a bit distressed. From what Naruto remembered, Sakura had to _fight_ to get this particular guy on such a short notice, he was apparently _the_ cake guy to get, the only reason she got him was because someone cancelled their order,and now they were behaving like brutes. “Excuse them, sir, they might think they're too good for the cake but the truth is that your cakes are too good for them—”

“No, no, no,” the confectioner protested. “If my desserts aren't meeting your expectations, I'll redo them, so please tell me how can I—”

“There's probably absolutely nothing wrong with them,” Sasuke interrupted him. “I don't like sweets, Karin probably likes but won't try them, and Naruto is being an idiot,” he sighed in an apologetic tone. “I'll make this up to you, so please accept my sincerest apologies, and let's just agree that the cakes my fiancee liked are the ones I liked too.”

“You need to take at least two options out or she won't believe you,” Naruto blurted out.

“Then please remove two options,” Sasuke agreed.

“I can't accept this, I've promised miss Haruno that everything will—”

“Fine,” Sasuke relented with an exasperated sigh, grabbing another small fork, cutting a piece of the chocolate cake with it, and putting it into his mouth as if he was forced to eat gravel. “Delicious,” he coughed. Then he moved onto the next one, it was white and creamy, and smelled like coconuts, “Marvelous,” Sasuke muttered after swallowing a tiny bite. Naruto was pretty sure the jerk didn’t even chew. “Never had better,” Sasuke commented upon trying a strawberry one. “Ambrosia,” he sighed as a piece of yellowish dessert disappeared in his ungrateful mouth.

“I swear that you must be missing at least half of your taste buds,” Naruto breathed out. “I mean, I do believe all of these desserts are delicious, it's just his shitty attitude,” Naruto blurted out when the cake guy shot him an angry stare.

“I want these four,” Sasuke stated, ignoring at least twenty other flavors. Naruto shook his head in disbelief.

“Your wifey liked only the strawberry one,” the confectioner whispered, looking as if he was considering a career change. Sasuke frowned, sighed, and stabbed next five cakes, muttering _compliments_ after trying each and every one of them.

“And these five,” he sighed.

“Halva and meringue,” the guy said.

“So she just likes the sweetest ones,” Sasuke complained. “My mom doesn't like desserts that are too sweet. Did Sakura like at least _one_ that doesn't taste like diabetes?”

“She likes them sweet,” the cake guy answered with a frown. Sasuke made an offended noise.

“Whatever, these three are enough,” he relented. “And as an extra make one that's not too sweet,” he pleaded.

“Four desserts is hardly enough for a wedding this big,” Karin commented. “You'd need _at least_ three more. And they can't all be cakes, you need some variety.”

“Yes, I agree. Your wifey planned to have twelve desserts,” the cake guy reveled to Sasuke's greatest displeasure.

“Naruto, Karin, just try them,” Sasuke sighed. “Then tell me which ones taste like plain sugar, so I can put them in my mouth and say I like them,” he muttered, glaring at the cake guy.

“Sir, I'm a highly praised and awarded confectioner, I must protest—”

“And I don't like sweets,” Sasuke interrupted him. “So _please_ , let's solve this like civilized people, I trust yours and Sakura's judgement, I'm no food critic,” he complained.

“He's not,” Naruto agreed. “He wouldn't be able to tell your magnificent creations from a gas station muffin,” he revealed, and Sasuke frantically nodded his head.

“This is most upsetting,” the guy whispered, sounding absolutely terrified. “I will have to contact miss Haruno and try to explain the situation to her—”

“Just pick these twelve flavors for me, _please_ ,” Sasuke sighed. “There's no need to involve her in this, so just pick the flavors she'll be happy with, and let's be off with this.”

“I must respect her wishes—”

“It's just _cakes_ ,” Sasuke snapped. “How important can cakes be?! I know it’s your trade, and I do respect your craft but in the end it's just _cakes_.”

“I don’t think we'll reach an agreement,” the guy snarled back. “It's not _just cakes_ , this is a vital part of the most important day of your life, and you have absolutely no respect for it, your wifey assured me that you both loved each other deeply and that you needed my desserts to make the happiest night of your life even happier but I can see that it was just _lies_ —”

“Whoa, let's calm down,” Naruto pleaded. “Sasuke, take this seriously, and try the cakes. Sir, I'm sorry, he's just stressed because of work but it's nothing important—”

“ _Nothing important_?!” Karin chimed in, sounding absolutely outraged. Naruto sent her a glare, praying that she would get the hint and keep quiet.

“If you do not treat the desserts seriously, it's obvious that you aren't mature enough to get married,” the guy lectured in a somber tone. Sasuke looked as if he was about to blow up, and Naruto didn't blame him because the confectioner was being absurd and annoying as fuck. But Sakura wanted him, and right now Sakura's wishes were kind of important. They needed to placate her for the time being.

“I will not—”

“Sasuke, _please_ ,” Naruto interrupted him before he could ruin everything. “Take this seriously, try the desserts, and say which ones you like. And be sincere about it, _please_.”

“A lot can be said about the quality of relationship based on the couple's shared tastes. Right now it seems you and your future wife are like fire and water,” the guy rambled. “I do not wish to partake in such a—”

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke uttered. “Please forgive me, I will make sure you'll be paid extra for your trouble. Can we forget about this all and start anew?” he gritted through his teeth. The guy gave him a long and a hard stare before he slowly nodded his head. Sasuke cursed under his breath, almost inaudibly, and returned to tasting the desserts, looking as unhappy as he could possibly get. “I thought you wanted to taste them too,” he muttered at Naruto after trying over half of them and looking sick.

“Sure,” Naruto mumbled out. The atmosphere kind of got ruined, and he kind of lost his appetite after that little disaster but he supposed he shouldn't leave Sasuke alone like this. Not when it seemed like he needed Naruto. Even though it was absolutely insignificant.

* * *

 

Sasuke glared at the dancing crowd, one of his arms draped over Sakura’s bare shoulders. They were in a dance club. There was Sakura, Ino, Ino's stupid friend named Sai and Naruto (still in drag, he insisted on coming so he could have a chat with Sakura but when Sasuke joined the group a few hours later, Naruto was there in the club, and it seemed that it all ended up with Sakura pushing the dumbass into Sai's arms, andthe idiot looked sickeningly uncomfortable whenever he thought nobody was looking). It was annoying.

The loud music was annoying. Sai was annoying. Sakura was acting as if nothing's happened, and Sasuke wasn't certain whether it was a good or a bad thing. Ino was drunk. Naruto was responding to Sai's flirtations. If one could even call it that. They were sitting pretty far away from Sasuke but every once in a while Sasuke could hear some random obscenities.Sasuke was guessing Naruto was doing that for _his sake_ because if he was to act all willing in front of Sasuke then there was clearly nothing going on between Sasuke and him _but_ it was clear that he wasn’t too fond of Sai. And no wonder. Sai was annoying. Rude. Weird in a bad sort of way.

“It's my song,” Sakura squealed into his ear as the DJ put on a song that sounded remarkably similar to the one that's just faded away. “Let's go dancing,” she pleaded. Sasuke nodded because there was nothing else he could've done, and moved to get up from the cyan couch.

“Yeah, you go dancing, and I’ll be going home,” Naruto blurted out.

“I'll walk you there,” Sai offered with a sleazy smile. It _was_ sleazy.

“Don't bother,” Naruto replied. “I'm a big boy, I'll get there myself,” he said and _winked_. Sasuke almost shrugged with cringebut then Sakura dragged him into the dance floor, and he drowned in a sea of people, who clearly used too much antiperspirant but were sweating anyways. It was a rather unpleasant mix. He had to give Sakura one thing, she always smelled good.

Sasuke felt her hands on his sides, and soon the woman leaned towards him, screaming into his ear. He could barely hear her anyways.

“Your friend told me why yesterday ended so badly,” she said. “Is it true?”

“Is _what_ true?” Sasuke yelled into her ear.

“That you've never—”

“Yes,” Sasuke interrupted her, feeling ridiculously embarrassed.

“Sorry,” she screamed. “I had no idea!”

“It's okay,” he replied and stepped back. He didn't like dancing but dancing was better than _this_. Everything was better than this.

“No, it's not,” she protested upon moving closer again. “We barely know each other, and it’s… you’re always being perfect and I've screwed up,” she said, looking suspiciously serious and nothing like her. “I've screwed up because I didn't know something important. Let's cancel that dinner with our parents, and spend the weekend together,” she suggested. “Just the two of us, getting to know each other better. No going out, no parties, no nothing, just _us_ ,” she yelled. Sasuke gulped. It sounded way more terrifying than it probably was.

“We can't cancel the dinner with the parents,” he stated in an apologetic tone. “Not with mine at least—”

“They’re strict, huh? They do give off such a vibe,” she laughed. “After the dinner then. Saturday evening and whole Sunday just for us. What do you think?”

Sasuke nodded. There was no way he could refuse her request.

“I'm sorry I was jealous over Naruto,” she yelled at him.

“It's okay,” he mumbled out. She made a face at him because it was probably impossible to hear him over the music. “It's okay,” he screamed. She smiled at him, and crushed her lips against his, so he responded to the kiss. He had to. There was a whole list of things he _had to_ do. He wished he could just throw it into the fire and watch it burn.

* * *

 

Naruto let out a heavy sigh upon returning home… well… Sasuke's home. Because he _still_ hasn't found himself a place to stay. His phone has been buzzing all day long, Gaara's texts varied from regular _how are yous_ to demands that Naruto replied him. Naruto sent his _obligatory text_ , and ignored the redhead. It probably wasn’t a good idea, making Gaara angry _wasn’t_ a good idea but it seemed that everything that had to do with Gaara was a terrible idea. And it all started because Naruto wasn't able to keep himself in check. And now he was barely able to keep himself in check too.

He groaned, taking off his wig and scratching his scalp. Being in drag for so long was tiring. His hair was a sweaty mess, his padding could probably use some correction, and he was pretty much dying for a piss.

Sakura had been somewhat cooperative but then she insisted he mingled with Sai, and so he mingled with Sai, and Sai was curious too, somewhat like Sasuke was, but it felt _worse_. Sasuke's curiosity was _awkward_ as fuck but not exactly uncomfortable. Sai looked thirsty. As if Naruto was going to be his next adventure.

The blonde sighed, giving his mess a scrutinizing look. Sasuke was probably going to stay in the club for a few more hours, and having wigs, tights, and skirts lying on the floor probably wasn’t the first thing he wanted to see after coming home. Naruto collected his things, and stashed them into his bag. Then he crouched and gave his sore feet a makeshift massage. There were days when he could be wearing drag for so long but it's been _ages_ since the last time. Now it was usually only for a bachelor or for his own amusement, and it never lasted more than three hours, and now it's been like seven. Seven hours of avoiding the bathroom because he was wearing a goddamn pencil skirt.

Worst idea ever.

Naruto laughed at his own misery, and, after making sure Sasuke's place looked as if he's never been there, went to the bathroom to take a shower.

Then he needed to come back to _his_ place and take the plants because most of them were probably already dry and unhappy. The thought that someone might be on the stake out was freaking him out quite a bit but he also needed a fresh change of clothes. And then he needed to rent some other flat. Preferably only for three weeks.

He was probably going to pay more than it was worth since he’d probably be renting one of those daily apartments but it was better than bothering Sasuke like this.

* * *

 

Sasuke unlocked the doors with a heavy sigh. He looked disheveled. He felt disheveled. There was a pounding in his head, his eyes hurt, and he could swear they were so dry that if someone squeezed lemon juice into them it would actually give them some relief. He took off his coat, and hang it on the hanger, then slipped the shoes off of his tired feet.

Sakura has been more clingy than she used to, desperate to build the _trust_ between them or whatever else she wanted to build. Some part of Sasuke knew that the unreasonable one was him, and not her. It could've been her if she knew how he felt about everything but she had no idea, and she couldn't get any idea. He's promised his father everything was going to be perfect, and this meant doing what Sakura expected of him. No more _hiccups_ were allowed. And yet he almost screwed up with these stupid desserts that made him feel sick for hours. And he _was_ prancing around with Naruto.

It had to stop.

He had to tell Naruto that the wedding _was_ going to happen anyways. And then Sasuke had to start focusing on making Sakura happy again. It was what his father expected of him. It wasn’t much. Most people would probably even enjoy it. Itachi would've—

Sasuke cursed under his breath, scolding himself for thinking about his brother. He rubbed his face with his fingers, somewhat disgusted by how moist it felt under his touch. He got up, and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower, noting that things weren't where he usually put them, and that his shampoo has been left open. Naruto’s, on the other hand, was near the basin. Closed.

It should've been annoying but it wasn’t. It was oddly _welcome_.Because it meant his flat wasn't empty. He used to think he enjoyed the solitude but it might've been that he’s simply gotten used to it. He had moved out to live on his own immediately after getting his degree. It's been over five years now.He had enjoyed living with his family but continuing to do so after a certain age was a rather bad idea.

Sasuke wiped his hair with a towel, and left the bathroom. He carefully opened his bedroom doors to find his bed empty. He looked around the room. It was clear that nobody's entered it since Sasuke went in there this afternoon to make the bed since Naruto's way of making the bed was awfully sloppy. Sasuke scratched the back of his head, uncertain about how to proceed. It wasn’t making much sense.

Naruto _had_ returned to his home after the dance club because he had obviously used the shower but now he was nowhere to be found. Sasuke left the bedroom to scout the apartment, having absolutely no idea what he was hoping to find. There was nothing. All of Naruto’s stuff, save for that accursed shampoo, was gone. Sasuke headed back towards the bedroom, where he left his phone, ready to call the dumbass and ask him where he was but he stopped himself before he clicked the call button.

He had no business in calling Naruto.

The blonde hasn't told him that he was staying with him tonight too. Yesterday he mentioned just one night, so he probably just took his things and left. He hasn't said anything about _leaving_ but today was rather hectic. It was possible that he simply didn't have the chance. Besides, it wasn’t like he had to report to Sasuke. So leaving without saying anything was… natural.

Sasuke put his phone back on his night stand, and threw himself on the bed, rubbing his eyelids with straightened fingers.

It was all natural and normal, nothing to get worked up over. Naruto found himself someplace else or maybe even just returned to his apartment because after that stupid wardrobe incident it seemed like a safer place to be. And Sasuke was alone, just like he liked it. He was going to miss it soon, so he should savor it. Sasuke turned on his side, glaring at dark wall. If he was feeling… disappointed, it was only because he was expecting to find Naruto sleeping in his bed, and because Naruto hasn't told him that it wasn’t going to happen. Sasuke fought off the ridiculous urge to call the idiot and complain about not being informed about it because he _deserved_ to be warned about something like this, it was merely common courtesy, but Naruto probably didn't want to be called.

It could come off as creepy. Sasuke had no intention of being creepy. Naruto's had enough creepy clients. Sasuke let out a heavy sigh. He was being ridiculous. Absolutely and utterly ridiculous.

* * *

 

Naruto entered Sasuke's flat as silently as he could but he still was met with a pair of black eyes glaring daggers at him.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up,” he mumbled out. The shadows and bags under Sasuke’s eyes were the biggest ones Naruto's ever seen. “Has something hap—”

“I wasn't sleeping,” Sasuke muttered back, looking as if he had been buried alive three hours ago and managed to somehow escape the tomb _maybe_ ten minutes ago.

“You look like shit,” Naruto blurted out. Sasuke frowned. “Go to sleep or you'll look like shit tomorrow too,” he advised, carefully putting the plant he's been holding on the floor. Sasuke didn't go to sleep, he kept on standing there, as if he's actually maybe _died_ in that tomb, and was now haunting his own apartment, and Naruto was half-expecting to hear that creepy noises horror children were always making. And a jumpscare, so he made sure to _not_ look at the wall mirror behind Sasuke. If he was going to die, a creepy face in the mirror was the last thing he wanted to see.Or it wasn’t the last thing he wanted to see. He wasn't too sure about the grammar. “Seriously, you're all pale,” Naruto continued.

“Some people are naturally pale,” Sasuke hissed.

“Yeah, but they don't look like they've already died,” Naruto mumbled out. “And you're more pale than usually,” he pointed out, taking off his jacket.

“What is this plant?” Sasuke questioned. Naruto stared at him, uncertain about how he should answer such an ingenious question. It was a plant. The one that he got when he was five years old. The rest were in his car, and this one probably could’ve stayed there too because it _would_ survive one night like this but Naruto didn't have the heart to leave it there.

“Just my plant,” he said. “It won't make a mess,” he promised because perhaps the real reason why Sasuke's apartment was bare of anything alive was that he didn’t want any dirt on his floor. “And it'll be gone by tomorrow, so don't worry. I can put it somewhere, where you won't have to look at it,” he offered. Sasuke didn't say anything, he just kept glaring at the poor plant. “ _Or_ I'll put it back in my car, sorry for bringing it here—”

“It can stay,” Sasuke interrupted him, sounding just like he looked like.

“ _Okay_ ,” Naruto replied, feeling more uncertain with every passing moment. “What's wrong? I can see that something _is_ wrong but I'm no mind reader, so—”

“Why is it here?” Sasuke asked. Naruto sent him a questioning look. “ _Your plant_ ,” the man clarified. “What is it doing here?”

“I brought it,” Naruto answered.“Why weren't you sleeping? It’s 4 am already, and you have to wake up in like three hours,” he said. “You had no idea I'd bring my plants here, so I don’t think _this_ is what's been bothering you—”

“You've brought your _plants_ here?” Sasuke inquired, his face still unreadable.

“The rest is in my car,” Naruto replied.

Sasuke sent him a long, hard look. “You went back into your flat to bring your _plants_ here?”

“I won't be bringing the rest of them here,” Naruto whined. “And I can take this one out too, I didn't know you hated plants,” he complained.

“I don’t care about the plants,” Sasuke yelled. “You can bring them all here if you want, just don’t expect me to water them,” he stated, sounding as if he was in an anime fight and had to scream really loud or else his attacks wouldn't do enough damage.

And with that he left for his bedroom, slamming the doors behind himself. Naruto blinked a few times, still uncertain whether the plant could _really_ stay there because Sasuke was clearly pissed off, and all he talked about was the plant. The blonde breathed out, took off his shoes to not bring any mud into Sasuke's flat, put the plant in the kitchen, and quietly knocked on the bedroom doors. He entered after hearing an angry _it's not fucking closed_.

“So _what_ happened?” Naruto asked. “I know I've promised you I'd stay only one night, but I didn't have the chance to rent anything for myself today, so I thought I could perhaps stay one _more_ night,” he excused himself. “I can leave, though. I mean, I can see that you're busy, and I know I've been a bother, so I seriously… you know what, I'll just leave, sorry for bothering you,” Naruto blurted out.

“You can stay,” Sasuke barked.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” Naruto snorted. “That thing I've just said was one huge guilt trip, so seriously, chill out, I've overstayed my welcome—”

“Are you deaf?” Sasuke snapped, turning on his side just to glare at Naruto. “I've said you can stay.”

“Sasuke, I seriously doubt you want me here, and I will manage till the morning,” Naruto assured the man, who just closed his eyes shut, as if he was about to blow a fuse and trying not to. The blonde carefully stepped back, suddenly feeling as if the path to the exit was a minefield. “I'll text you tomorrow, so we can—”

“ _Stay_ ,” Sasuke muttered. “I don’t want you to sleep in the car or wait for the morning in some shitty place.”

“And _I_ don't want to bother you,” Naruto barked back. “You're clearly annoyed that I'm here, so just let me leave,” he insisted.

“I'm not keeping you hostage in here,” Sasuke retorted. “Unlike that other guy. And no, you don't get to leave because you're a fucking idiot,” he added, contradicting himself completely, and seemingly unable to realize it.

“How am I an idiot again?” Naruto complained.

“That guy knows where you live, your neighborhood is shitty, and you went there alone, without telling me, to get your fucking _plants_ ,” Sasuke muttered at him in one breath. Naruto blinked.

“Why should I tell you where I was going?” he asked. Sasuke closed his eyes again, and this time he hasn't opened them. He merely turned on his other side.

“Do whatever you want,” he sighed eventually. “I don’t care anymore,” he added, sounding defeated.

“Sasuke,” Naruto whispered, “are you going to sleep now or can we talk?”

“We can talk,” the man agreed, so Naruto lied behind him on the bed.

“You've had a rough day today,” he commented. “Sorry that I was partially the reason why. It shouldn't have happened,” he added. “So worry about yourself, and not me,” he advised.

“I came home three hours ago,” Sasuke uttered. “So if I haven't come here, you would've still been closed in that wardrobe until 1 am,” he continued.“Because you didn't want me to _bother_ myself.”

“It would’ve been alright,” Naruto insisted. “I’d need some time to calm down, and then I'd be as good as new—”

“There was no need for it,” Sasuke pointed out. “And I had no idea if you were going to come here or if you've moved out already. I knew you wouldn't say if you were in trouble, though. And that you don't want me to call you.”

“You can call me whenever you want, you've hired me—”

“It had nothing to do with your job,” Sasuke interrupted him.

Naruto took a deep breath. It was bad. It was very bad. They went too far, and it's been his fault. He allowed it to happen, he made it happen. And now the only thing stopping him from plunging himself into this madness was one last thread of sanity. “I should've told you that I wanted to stay for another night, and that I would be coming here late,” he admitted. “But you shouldn't care about what happens to me.”

“I'm marrying Sakura,” Sasuke confessed out of the blue. “It's final.”

“You can't marry her just because you're disappointed with me,” Naruto grunted.

“It has nothing to do with you,” Sasuke replied. “You're just standing in the way of me doing what I _should_ be doing. You're distracting me from what I want—”

“What _you_ want?” Naruto interrupted him. “I believe you meant what your _father_ wants,” he hissed.

“And I am his son, I owe him obedience,” Sasuke retorted. “And you're just distracting me. You should move out of the country tomorrow,” he advised. “Because I'm firing you. It's probably my fault, and not yours but it's final too.”

“Whenever something you don't like happens, you're all like _I'm firing you_ ,” Naruto complained. “But you don't _want_ to fire me—”

“It’s not about what I want, it's about what I have to do,” Sasuke snapped.

“Can I please hit whomever made you think that you have to be miserable?” Naruto blurted out.“What do you _want_?” he asked. Sasuke let out an exasperated sigh.

“What do _you_ want?” he deflected the question.

“Right now I want to move abroad, probably pick up some boring job like organizing bachelor parties, and _maybe_ also meet someone cool, and be with that person,” he answered, promising himself that if Sasuke was to say he wanted to stop working for his father, he was going to buy them tickets to wherever, so they could fly away first thing in the morning. “So, what do you want? This time actually answer.”

“Nothing,” Sasuke answered. Naruto breathed in. He wanted to give Sasuke a hug. And hit him. He did neither.

“You've never wanted to start your own company?” Naruto suggested. “I can't believe you want to be your father's action figure for the rest of your life,” he sighed.

“No, I don’t want to compete against my father,” Sasuke barked. “And you're free, so you can go buy yourself a plane ticket.”

“You're either on the brink of a mental breakdown or you've already passed that threshold,” Naruto commented. “You've convinced yourself there's nothing you can do but there’s plenty of things you can do, and the consequences are less scary than what's going to happen to you if you don't change anything,” he whispered. “Because seriously, Sasuke, right now you're on the path of self-destruction—"

“I'm waiting for you to give me some stupid magical crystal that'll fix my life if I put it near the TV,” Sasuke hissed in a mocking tone.

“I wish it was this easy but I'm afraid I'm all out of magical crystals,” Naruto retorted. “So the only person capable of fixing your life is you. And I want to help you but you keep on trying to fire me.”

“Why won't you just let me fire you?” Sasuke complained, shifting his position, so he was lying on his back. He even looked at Naruto.Just for a short moment but he did.

“Because you're my client,” Naruto replied. Sasuke frowned, clearly not liking the answer. "And you need me," Naruto added “So take a deep breath, get some sleep, and we'll talk everything through tomorrow,” he offered. “I can talk now but you need a rest,” he murmured.

“I don't,” Sasuke protested.

“You look and sound like you've died already,” Naruto disagreed. “So tell Karin you'll be late, and _sleep_ ,” he pleaded. “I can make you a tea or something.”

“I'll just drink a coffee in the morning,” Sasuke muttered.

“Oh for fuck's sake,” Naruto whined and left the bedroom. He came back a few minutes later, this time dressed in his sleeping clothes. He crawled under the cover, lied next to the stubborn bastard, and threw his arm over him. “ _Sleep,_ ” he insisted.

“I've told you to not do it,” Sasuke whispered. Naruto sighed, and obediently took his arm off Sasuke.

“Fine, let's talk,” Naruto relented. “Why do you want to fire me this time?”

“I have to marry Sakura,” Sasuke answered.

“You don't,” Naruto disagreed. “We’ve been over this. You're doing Sakura, your father and yourself a favor.”

“They won't see it like this,” Sasuke pointed out.

“They don't have to. It's your life too,” Naruto argued. “So don't let others make your choices—”

“You should be writing columns in teens magazines,” Sasuke sighed. “Perhaps _they_ will find your advice helpful. It's just some generic bullshit.”

“Maybe you need to channel your inner teenager and finally rebel against your parents,” Naruto snapped. “I don't get it, you're one big _fuck you_ but when it comes to your father, you're acting like a dog scared of beating. Has it ever occurred to you that _maybe_ the approval of someone, who's clearly more interested in his company than in his son, isn't worth as much?”

“You don't understand him,” Sasuke hissed. “He simply wants to secure my future—”

“He sold you to the highest bidder,” Naruto interrupted the other man.

“Then he wouldn't have asked me if I agreed to this. And I've said yes,” Sasuke barked.

“Then tell him you've changed your mind,” Naruto wailed. “Seriously, working for him was the second worst decision in your life,” he muttered. “Your relationship is seriously unhealthy, you need to do something about it because you clearly can't go on like this.”

“You don’t have anything binding you in here, and you have no idea what you're talking about,” Sasuke snarled. “I can't betray the trust he puts in me just because I can't keep my emotions in check—”

“Oh for fuck's sake,” Naruto whined. “Sometimes you're the most dense person I know.”

“It’s not my fault that you can't understand—”

“So _please_ make me understand. Would you demand from him what he demands from you?”

“I'm not his father,” Sasuke barked.

“And he's your _father,_ not your owner,” Naruto huffed. “It's the twenty first century, Sasuke, children are no longer their parents' property. Would you demand from _anyone_ what he demands from you?”

Sasuke wasn't replying for what felt like two eternities.Naruto scooted closer to him. They weren't touching but he could feel Sasuke's body radiate pleasant heat. “No,” the man finally breathed out.

“So you don't think that what he asks of you is fair? Because it's not. This shit isn't some unpleasantry that will pass in a month, it's a lifetime of misery,” Naruto grunted. “And you've said your parents married because they fell in love with each other, so he doesn't even know how much he's asking of you,” he added.

“It's not like I can do anything—”

“Stop working for your father,” Naruto blurted out. “You're _not_ going to become homeless the moment it happens, and for some people even becoming homeless sounds better than what you're doing to yourself,” he said. “Not to mention that you're supposedly close with your mother. What do you think is the worst thing that'll happen? She's not going to let him disown you or do anything stupid like this,” he argued.

“It won't change the fact that I'll be a disappointment—”

“ _You won't_ ,” Naruto snapped. “You don't have to fit your father's criteria of success to not be a disappointment,” he whispered. “Like, for fuck's sake, what if you were the world's best samba dancer? It has nothing to do with what your father wants but it’s clearly success,” he pointed out. “So seriously, screw him.”

“This is my father you're talking about,” Sasuke barked at him.

“Sorry,” Naruto groaned.“Anyways, don't base your self worth on what he thinks of you. He doesn't even know you, and this shows he pretty much failed as a father,” he murmured. “So maybe it should be _him_ looking for your approval, and not the other way around.”

Sasuke let out a miserable snort, as if he deemed what Naruto's said impossible. The blonde sighed. “Can I hug you?” he asked.

“I don’t need you to hug me,” Sasuke replied.

“I didn't ask if you needed it, I asked if I could,” the blonde murmured. Sasuke made a noise that could be interpreted as affirmative, so Naruto carefully planted his hand on the other man's shoulder. He felt warm under his touch, and Naruto was pretty much freezing. “How can you be so warm?” he mumbled out.

“How am I supposed to know?” Sasuke sighed. “I just am,” he grunted. “Are you cold? I can turn up the heat,” he offered.

“But then you'll be boiling,” Naruto pointed out. “It's alright,” he whispered, and moved closer, so Sasuke's back was pressed against his chest. “I'll just steal some of your heat,” he chuckled.

“No wonder you're giving your _clients_ the wrong idea,” Sasuke yawned. Naruto rolled his eyes, well aware that Sasuke couldn't see him. “Are you going to _almost fuck_ me too?”

“I didn't know you were offering,” Naruto barked.

“I'm not,” Sasuke replied in a tired tone.

“Then you have nothing to worry about because I don’t know if you've noticed but I'm not a guy, who throws himself at other people,” Naruto muttered.

“Amazing,” Sasuke yawned. “Your mom would be proud of you.”

“It was her, who raised me right, so I guess she would be proud of herself, and not me,” Naruto pointed out.

“So she has red hair,” Sasuke whispered. “And she raised you on her own.When was the last time you saw her?”

“Before Karin made me work for you,” Naruto answered. “I usually stay with her when I don't have a job but it rarely lasts more than two weeks. And sometimes I get one after another, so I don't see her for a few months. It sucks,” he confessed.

“And you had the audacity to call _me_ a momma's boy?” Sasuke snorted.

“Shut up and go to sleep,” Naruto blurted out.

“Is this why you wanted to cuddle? Should I read you a bedtime story?”

“Jerk,” Naruto sighed. “I think you need that bedtime story more than I do,” he hissed. “Close your eyes and go to sleep.”

“Entertain me,” Sasuke breathed out. “Do tell me that bedtime story.”

Naruto made a frustrated noise. “ _No_ ,” he muttered. “Just go to sleep.”

“I think the reason why you constantly say that everything is fine even it's all falling apart is that your mom raised you on her own, and you didn't want to worry her,” Sasuke mumbled out and let out a massive yawn.

“ _Sleep_ ,” Naruto insisted. “You're not my therapist.”

“You're playing mine and you _suck_ at it,” Sasuke murmured. “It's only fair.”

“Well, then go see a real one,” the blonde whined.

“I wanted to say you're cheaper than a real one but you're not,” Sasuke snorted. “So step up your game.”

Naruto pressed his face against Sasuke’s back, and let out a silent scream of frustration. “You should be paying me extra,” he complained. His nostrils filled with Sasuke's scent. He smelled like his shower gel (mint), and warmth, and bed. And then Sasuke let out a soft gasp, and Naruto wanted to ask what was wrong but he realized _what_ was wrong before he even opened his mouth. “Sorry,” he mumbled out, moving away from Sasuke and turning on his stomach. “It's just been some time since the last time I could take care of—”

“I don’t need any details,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“Sorry,” Naruto repeated. “I'm seriously not trying to make you uncomfortable—”

“Stop talking,” Sasuke insisted.

“ _Now_ you don't wanna talk,” the blonde commented.

“Yes, I want to discuss neither your boner nor your apparent money fetish,” Sasuke hissed.

“ _What_?” Naruto mumbled out.

“You got a boner the moment you said I should be paying you more,” Sasuke clarified in a hushed tone, as if someone was eavesdropping on them. “I'm not into findom—"

“It was your smell, jackass,” Naruto barked at him. “Right now I seriously don’t need much, so—”

“So you need to shut up,” Sasuke grunted. His breathing got kind of heavier, and Naruto snorted.

“I never would've suspected you were this empathic,” he laughed.

“Go to sleep,” Sasuke barked.

“Oh _now_ you want to sleep,” Naruto complained. “Fuck you, we’re not sleeping,” he yawned. He smiled when he heard Sasuke let out a soft chuckle. It seemed that the man finally relaxed.

“You're weird,” he commentedin a calm voice.

“At least you don't want to fire me anymore.”

“Mhm, you get to stay for another day,” Sasuke whispered.

“So you're saying we’ll need to have this conversation everyday?” Naruto murmured.

“Maybe,” Sasuke answered. Naruto took a deep breath.He was already regretting letting himself get so close to Sasuke. And letting Sasuke get _attached_ because Sasuke _was_ getting attached. But then Naruto had to disappear, and Sasuke was going to be alone again. The blonde scooted closer to the other man. “I really don’t want you to poke my ass—”

“I'm not going to,” Naruto whined. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

“What?” Sasuke mumbled out.

“What do you think you'll be doing five years from now?”

“Are you an HR person now?” Sasuke asked, sounding dumbfounded. “I thought we were done with job interview questions—”

“Just answer,” Naruto grunted.

“Probably here? I don’t expect anything to change,” Sasuke replied.

“Well that's just fucking sad,” Naruto blurted out. “Be glad that I'm not the HR person because I'd never hire you with an attitude like this,” he commented. “Maybe you should think of moving far, _far_ away too,” he suggested in a sleepy voice.

“I'm afraid I don’t have as many things I suck at as you,” Sasuke snorted. Naruto made an offended noise.

“Then do your boring shit for someone else. Or, even better, for yourself,” he yawned.

“That would've been a huge step backward,” Sasuke pointed out. “I'd have to start almost from the bottom, and I'm way too old for—”

“Oh, for fuck's sake,just go and buy yourself a plot on the cemetery,” Naruto whined. “And if I were you, I would just pack myself in a body bag and wait there, like, don't waste money on the gas, so—”

“You're not being funny,” Sasuke interrupted him. Naruto shut his mouth, and let out a tired sigh. He was guessing Sasuke wasn’t finding cemeteries funny, and Naruto wasn't blaming him. Especially since Sasuke's brother was two years older than Sasuke was now when he had died.

“Sorry,” the blonde mumbled out. “But the thing is that you're not exactly _old_ , so stop being a drama queen,” he blurted out. “Seriously, I'd much rather be a bottom bitch for a year or two than spend the rest of my life being unhappy here only because I'm _somewhat_ comfortable.”

“I don’t feel like being anyone's _bottombitch_ ,” Sasuke muttered in reply. Naruto made the quotation marks for him, shoving his hand in front of Sasuke’s face. “My eyes are closed, moron,” he sighed. “I'm not even going to open them. I _know_ what you're doing.”

Naruto raised an eyebrow, and poked Sasuke's cheek. “You weren't expecting _that_ ,” he pointed out. “Or _that_ ,” he snorted, pinching the cheek. “C'mon, try being a bottom bitch,” he laughed. “I'm sure you'll be good at it,” he stated in a mockingly serious tone.

“I'm afraid I don’t have your experience,” Sasuke barked at him.

“What, are you afraid to pit your natural talents against my experience?” Naruto chuckled. “So you’re admitting your defeat?” he inquired, almost shouting the words into the other man's ear. “I expected you to be more competitive, to be honest,” he complained. Sasuke slightly tilted his head, and crooked one of his eyes open, glaring daggers at Naruto. “C'mon, be a bottom bitch for me,” he pleaded.

“Dream on,” Sasuke yawned,closing his eyes again.

“I can go first if you want,” he laughed. He jerked up when Sasuke  shifted underneath him, lying on his back, so Naruto was leaning over him. “Yeah, we're _not_ doing this position unless you _want_ to be poked,” he mumbled out, throwing himself on the other side of the bed.

“And this is how I've won,” Sasuke whispered, sounding eerily content with himself.

“Yeah, yeah, let me get laid, and then you can try all you want,” Naruto barked.

“Just say when,” Sasuke yawned. Naruto made a frustrated noise.

“Cock tease,” he grunted.

“I don’t think you should so readily admit to wanting to fuck me,” Sasuke commented. “I'm your _client_ ,” he said in a singsong voice. “It's not like you've ever been especially professional but,” he paused and yawned, “you’re probably going overboard,” he concluded.

“You started it,” Naruto pointed out. “ _And_ you keep getting sympathetic boners,” he added. “Nevertheless, sorry.”

“Just choose something and stick to it,” Sasuke whispered. “You're sending mixed signals.”

“So you _want_ me to want to fuck you?” Naruto inquired. Sasuke sighed. “I want to but I'm going to leave, you're engaged, you're not exactly promiscuous, and you're my client. So that's four big no-noes.”

“Three of these don't bother me,” Sasuke confessed, sounding tense.

“Mhm, yes, keep talking dirty to me,” Naruto complained.“And since there's at least one reason why not, it's not going to happen. So this is my _signal_ ,” he groaned. He's said he was horny but it wasn’t just general horniness, it was directed straight at Sasuke, and Naruto was pretty certain that if the man turned out to be the deadest of dead fish, he would've still come too soon to feel good about himself.He turned on his stomach, barely able to fight off the urge to grind against the mattress. Or folding a pillow in half, and fucking it until he wouldn't have anything more to cum with, and his balls were so empty that there wouldn't be a need to tuck them.

“So stick to it,” Sasuke breathed out. “No more sexual innuendos,” he muttered.

“Anything can be a sexual innuendo with a sufficiently dirty mind,” Naruto complained. “Literally anything.”

“I'm pretty certain you're wrong,” Sasuke yawned.

“Throw some words,” Naruto blurted out. “I'll make them sound dirty, trust me.”

“Flu,” Sasuke sighed. “Smallpox. Black death. Tuberculosis. Cyst—”

“Fuck you,” Naruto snorted. “I meant something like everyday words,” he complained.

“Inflation. Recession. Unemployment,” Sasuke muttered.

“You have a knack for boring words,” Naruto grunted. “But there's this thing that when you can see the outline of a cock on the penetratedperson belly it’s called inflation but it doesn't happen in real life,” he murmured. “And when I think of recession, I'm thinking 1930s, and 1930s is when strip clubs became popular, and strip clubs are kind of sexy. And there’s this running joke that when someone is facing unemployment, they can always become a stripper or a porn actor, so here you have it.”

“Still boring,” Sasuke decided. Naruto groaned. “Face it, you keep losing at challenges _you_ are coming up with. Give up already and go to sleep.”

“Are you certain you don't want to score as many points as you can while I'm still tired?” Naruto mumbled out.

“You were saying I look and sound dead _an hour ago_ ,” Sasuke snorted. “I'm serious, give up. You don't stand a chance.”

“This is just a thinly veiled challenge,” the blonde complained in a sleepy voice.

“Whoever falls asleep first, wins,” Sasuke yawned.

“We’d need a third person to be the judge,” Naruto mumbled out. “Sakura kind of invited me to—”

“No sexual innuendos,” Sasuke reminded him.

“It was the first time someone actually offered me a threesome, and I _declined_ ,” Naruto mumbled out. He heard Sasuke letting out the biggest and loudest sigh Naruto's ever heard. “Neither of us finds it enticing, so it's _not_ a sexual innuendo,” he complained.

“There's a dictionary in my living room, go there, and _read it_ ,” Sasuke suggested. “I thought you _liked_ Sakura,” he added.

“Oh, I like her, it's _you_ that I can't stand,” Naruto laughed.

“You're far less sassy when you _are_ wearing your drag,” Sasuke commented.

“Probably because you don't want to use my drag name,” Naruto blurted out.

“Foxy sounds like a stripper name,” Sasuke sighed. “I can't exactly be seen in public with—”

“I _am_ a stripper,” Naruto interrupted him. “And I remember the times when you were trying to be all _nice_ and called me an _exotic dancer_ ,” he barked.

“You were the one, who started using euphemisms, so I followed suit,” Sasuke retorted. “And you _used_ to be a stripper, right now—”

“I might come back to it, I was pretty darn good at it,” he retorted. “Are you too important to hang out with strippers?”

“Personally, I don't care. But I have to think of the company's reputation, and if one of the chief executives is hanging out with a stripper, then—”

“You're so fucking judgemental,” Naruto breathed out. “At least now you won't have to worry about what signals I'm sending because this broadcast is _over_ ,” he snarled.

“I am _not_ judgemental,” Sasuke protested. “If I _was_ judgemental, I would've fired you the moment I saw you on that stage. I _didn't_. Because I don’t care,” he muttered. “I don’t mind you—”

“You have no right to say that you _don't mind_ something I do,” Naruto retorted.

“Naruto, I keep hanging out with you even though I'm pretty fucking certain my father would'vegotten a heart attack if he saw you on that stage,” Sasuke blurted out. “ _I don’t know if you've noticed_ , but I'm not the kind of guy, who usuallydoes something against his wishes,” he sighed. “It _doesn’t_ come easy to me, and yet here I am,” he said.“It might not be much, but for me it is. Do with it what you will.”

“Would you _date_ me?” Naruto questioned. “Well, someone _like_ me,” he clarified.

“Openly? No,” Sasuke answered. “But it's because you're a man, and not because of what you are or were doing,” he added before the blonde even managed to open his mouth. “But, like you've said before, you _wouldn't_ date me, so I have no idea why you'd ask me that when the one being completely disinterested is you,” he barked.

“That one was about sex, not _dating_ ,” Naruto blurted out.

“Do you _want_ me to want to date you and have sex with you?” Sasuke asked in a tired voice. “Because it seems you _didn't_ stop your broadcast.”

“I,” Naruto stuttered, realizing that Sasuke was more right than he should be. “Yeah,” he admitted. “But only if you come with me.”

Neither of them said anything for a solid ten minutes, and Naruto was starting to worry that Sasuke simply fell asleep. Or maybe Sasuke falling asleep before he could've heard that stupid confession was the better outcome.

“You've said during the first five minutes of coming here for the first time that none of _this_ was going to be real,” Sasuke whispered. “So _is_ this real?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Naruto mumbled out. He heard Sasuke sucking in a shaky breath. “It might be,” he revealed.

“Earlier today when we've almost… you've said you got carried away,” Sasuke carefully stated. “Are you getting carried away right now too?”

“I am but not necessarily in the way you think,” Naruto confessed. “I've just broken a whole lot of my personal rules, and I feel like breaking even more,” he revealed.

“Was it the same with that creep?” Sasuke questioned.

“…no,” Naruto answered.He gasped when Sasuke swiftly turned on his other side, so he was facing him. He was thankful for how dark it was, and that all he could make up in the soft dusk was the outline of Sasuke's facial features.

“But there are still these four reasons why it won't happen,” Sasuke rasped.

“It's literally torture,” Naruto stated in a feverish whisper. “I have a stupidly good self control though,” he mumbled out, feeling more and more lightheaded with every passing second. He could swear he'd come had Sasuke ordered him to. Without even touching himself, simply on command. It's never been like this before.

“Right now I don't want you to control yourself,” Sasuke replied in a hushed voice. Naruto barely managed to stifle a moan, when his cock jumped in his sleeping trousers, its damp head rubbing against the fabric.

“What about your reason?” Naruto asked.

“It's been long gone,” Sasuke sighed.

“So we shouldn't be doing this. Not when we're both like this,” Naruto replied, fighting off the urge to throw himself at Sasuke.

“Doing _what_?” Sasuke asked in a low voice. Naruto bit on his bottom lip. The fact that Sasuke was riling him up so much made literally no sense. The man currently looked like a zombie, and they werekind ofarguing less than fifteen minutes ago.

“Making out. Getting each other off. Riding towards the setting sun,” he enlisted. “Take your pick,” he mumbled out, his breath hitching up when Sasuke's face got so dangerously close to his. “Sasuke, right now I'm on the brink of cumming, so think twice before you do anything or you'll regret it,” he warned the man.

“Then don't make me regret it,” Sasuke breathed out, his hand cupping the back of Naruto's head, and pulling it closer, until their lips brushed against each other. It felt both like a butterfly trapped in a closed hand and trying to free itself, and like falling headfirst into half-frozen lake. Tingly. Pleasant. Burning. Like too little. Like too much.“You really sound like you're close,” Sasuke chuckled into his mouth, and Naruto almost melted. “Should I stop or—”

“Don't,” Naruto whispered back. His hands shyly fell on Sasuke's side. “Just say that you'll come with me,” he pleaded.

“I'm _not_ this close,” Sasuke snorted.

“I meant it as in go the fuck away from this country,” Naruto laughed back, his fingers feeling Sasuke's hip.

“I _can't_ ,” the man answered. He wasn't moving anymore. He even took his hands and lips away, and moved away too.

“I've told you that _this_ was going to be real only if you went away with me,” Naruto snapped.

“I thought you _liked_ random hookups,” Sasuke hissed back.

“But I don’t _want_ you to be a random hookup,” Naruto blurted out. “When it's a random hookup, it's a person I've known for a five hours _most_ , and we've probably spent this time grinding against each other,” he spat out. “You keep saying things that whisper _forever_ , and then you say you might throw me away by tomorrow,” he complained. “I can't do this, Sasuke.”

“I'm not going to throw you away,” the man protested.

“Sasuke, whether it's because we're both guys or because I'm a stripper, or because you can't stand up to your father—we won't be together. So all you're offering me is sex, and I'm _not_ going to have sex with someone, who's ashamed of wanting to do me,” he muttered. “And since it doesn’t look like it's going to change, I think we should just forget about everything, and bring it back to the day one, when we both thought the other was the most annoying shit in existence,” he sighed.

“…fine,” Sasuke mumbled out, lying on his back, and covering his face with his forearm. “It's going to be even more awkward now,” he muttered.

“And this time it's one hundred percent your fault,” Naruto agreed in a falsely cheery tone. “Well done, usually it's me screwing up but, on the other hand, I'm pretty fucking good at fixing things, so,” his voice died off. “This is something I can't fix for you.”

“I've never asked you to fix anything,” Sasuke complained. “You're just like a car mechanic, I'm stopping by to change a tire, and you're telling me I need to buy myself a new car,” he sighed.

“Well that's just bad for business,” Naruto mumbled out. “I'd rather say you need to change brake blocks, timing belt, filters, shit like that,” he pointed out. “And then, when you're letting your poor client leave, you make sure they need to come back for even more repairs the next time they get their paycheck. I mean you can't squeeze all of the dough out of them at once or they'll get scared and won’t return,” he murmured. “You gotta think long-term,” he lectured.

“How are you not an economy professor already?” Sasuke asked in an obviously mocking voice. “Or a minister, you obviously like to think _big_ —”

“I've told you I’m not into boring shit,” Naruto yawned. “I could make you vote for me if I wanted, I'm _lovely_ ,” he insisted.

“You don't vote for the ministers,” Sasuke lectured. “They’re elected.”

“Same shit,” Naruto yawned again.

“It's not—”

“Sasuke, we seriously should stop with the _bonding_ ,” the blonde interrupted the other man.

“Fine, let's talk about this mess," Sasuke relented. "Sakura wants to spend an entire weekend with me. After the dinner with parents. I've said yes."

"Get sick at the dinner," Naruto advised. "Throw up on the table or something. Can you like gag on at will or something?"

"...I've never considered it an important skill to have," Sasuke mumbled out, sounding dumbfounded.

"It is," Naruto insisted.

"I'm not going to throw up on the table," Sasuke sighed, rubbing his face with both of his hands.

"Shame because that would've made it believable," Naruto replied. "Then throw up on her when you're already.... wherever you're going to stay at. If you're lucky, she won't want to take care of you, and if you're unlucky, you'll just be doing twix for a day and a half, so that's probably more bearable than pretending you're a loving fiance," he muttered.

"Is throwing up like a defense mechanism of yours?" Sasuke inquired. "Is this youranswer to all of the world's problems?"

"Well, you try to fire me, and I throw up," Naruto barked. "If someone pukes, people usually move the fuck away, Sasuke," he sighed. "It's gross, so in most cases you'll be left alone," he explained.

"I really don't feel like throwing up," Sasuke protested.

"You have that image of yourself in your head that you're afraid to destroy," Naruto complained. "I bet you think it's helping you but it's actually holding you back—"

"Yes, I believe myself to be a person, who doesn't throw up on people," Sasuke snapped. "Thank you for enlightening me, you're right, It's been holding me off this whole time, if I was to live my life that way from the very beginning, I would've already been on the top of the world—"

"Hey, if you want to stay _true_ to yourself, just go ahead and marry Sakura, this is what Sasuke, the perfect straight as fuck son would've done," Naruto hissed. "If you want, I can select some nice movies for you two to watch," he offered. "And find you some cool places to order your food from, like, just say what you need."

"I can just pretend to be sick," Sasuke murmured.

"Sasuke, let's be honest, acting isn't your forte, so if there's no vomit on you, nobody's going to believe you," Naruto sighed. "Just make use of that overblown image of yourself, and make them believe you. Go big or go home. Just imagine you've just swallowed a hair, and try to get it out of your throat, it's _not_ difficult. Drink a lot, and just go with it."

"You're giving most amazing advice," Sasuke complained.

"Why, thank you for finally noticing," the blonde chirped. "Sasuke, it's like ten minutes of shame, and a whole life of peace," he said. "Do the math, maybe _this_ is something you're good at."

"Fuck you," Sasuke sighed. "I'm going to sleep," he announced. "Because I am way too tired to think up a better idea than throwing up on someone, and it's terrifying," he murmured.

"Sweet dreams," Naruto sighed back. At least he finally felt as if he got over Sasuke. So this was his ten minutes of shame. Well. Two weeks and a half. And then a whole life of peace was awaiting him. He took a deep breath, and turned his head to find the other mean lying on his side, his back turned towards Naruto. And then there was that damned shoulder blade. But this was only lust. He'd just go to a club, find a guy with nice shoulder blades, fetishize the living hell out of them, and then leave, and forget that there even was such a thing like shoulder blades. His eyes travelled across Sasuke's body. _Then_ Naruto would have to find someone with a stupid haircut. Someone, who treated themselves a little bit too seriously. Someone with nice protruding hip bones. Someone, who was going to tell him they would be coming to him for the rest of their lives. Someone, who would channel Naruto's inner slave. Someone, who was able to keep up with him. Someone, who was going to worry about him. It was starting to sound like a whole lot of someones. Naruto groaned and turned on his other side, silently coming to the terms with the fact that he was either to fuck every single willing person he could find or accept that there wasn't another Sasuke.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive  
> I uploaded this chapter using my extremely old laptop, it's like 8 or 9 years old, and there was so much text in it that it almost broke my computer when I did ctrl+a, ctrl+c 
> 
> :'D


	10. Chapter 10

Sasuke cracked his eyes open the second his phone decided to ruin his sleep with its shrill yell. He groaned, feeling his head still pounding, his eyes felt as if he had at least five sacks of sand in them, and there was this weird heat wrapped all around his back, so Sasuke shifted to see what exactly it was but then the heat bundle let out an unhappy grunt, and Sasuke stopped moving altogether because Naruto was spooning him, and that wasn't the exact thing he was expecting. 

Not after yesterday. 

“Wake up,” he demanded in a half-voice. 

“I don’t have to wake up,” Naruto protested, his arm wrapping even tighter around Sasuke's midsection. 

“But I can't stand up because of you,” Sasuke hissed. 

“Shut up and sleep,” the blonde mumbled out. 

“You're—” 

“Stop whining,” Naruto complained. “Seriously, shush, I'm dead tired.” 

Sasuke sighed, and raised his upper body on his elbows, pushing Naruto off of him. Not his arm though. And now Naruto’s arm was on Sasuke’s crotch. And Naruto's face was pretty much in Sasuke's ass. 

“Get off me,” Sasuke blurted out. The dumbass replied _something_ but it was absolutely incomprehensible, and sounded like an _ooo_ _ffhsss_. “Naruto, if you don't move away _now_ , you'll be meeting my lawyer,” Sasuke yawned. 

“So you're still up for a threesome?” Naruto sighed, _finally_ letting go of Sasuke. “I hope your lawyer is kinky—” 

“Do you remember what you've said two hours ago? Because I _do_ ,” Sasuke interrupted him. 

“I hope your lawyer and I will hit off because I'm guessing it'll be a twosome after all,” the blonde yawned. Sasuke glared at him. “Aren't you like _dead_ now? Call Karin and tell her you'll be late. Or take a day off.” 

“I've already taken enough days off because of you,” Sasuke replied. 

“And yet you probably have at least two more months of paid vacations to use,” Naruto sighed. 

“I'm not going to spend it with you,” Sasuke muttered. 

“You're right,” Naruto agreed, sounding cheery in a passive aggressive kind of way. Then he got up from the bed, moving way swifter than Sasuke had energy to duplicate, left the bedroom, and then returned there maybe three minutes later, while Sasuke was still sitting on the bed, mustering enough strength to finally _stand up_. And Naruto was already fully clothed, his bag hanging on his shoulder, and a set of Sasuke's keys hanging on his finger. “These are yours,” the man said, dropping the keys on the bed next to Sasuke. “And I will be leaving. Give me a call if you need me to appear somewhere,” he added, and with that he turned on his heel, and stormed out of Sasuke’s flat. And that was when Sasuke's neurons finally connected, so he raised an eyebrow, let out a loud curse, and flopped back on the bed so hard, that the keys fell on the floor. 

Naruto was being ridiculous and unprofessional. 

And Sasuke had no idea if he was supposed to say something to keep the idiot from walking away like that. Maybe. Probably not. Sasuke let out a loud groan. He didn't have time for Naruto's drama. He slapped his face to wake himself up, and forced himself to get ready for work. 

An hour later, he entered his kitchen to finally drink his coffee, and there it was, standing on his kitchen counter. Naruto's dumb plant. Sasuke gave it a scrutinizing look. 

It was just a plant. Sure, it was somewhat big, and it had lots of green leaves, and the pot was kind of nice, Sasuke supposed. Nevertheless, no matter how he looked at it, it was just a _plant_. Nothing special. Sasuke was pretty certain he's seen this kind of plant countless times already, hell, one like this could probably be found in the lobby here. Sasuke was almost wondering if Naruto simply hasn't snatched it from there. 

“You're just a regular plant,” he announced, sipping on his freshly brewed coffee. 

He glared at the pot, put his coffee on the table and walked towards the plant to carefully lift it. 

“And you're heavy,” he complained, putting the plant back on the counter. Did Naruto climb eleven flights of stairs while carrying it at 4 a.m.? Sasuke shook his head in disbelief. It was insane. And stupid. “He must like you,” Sasuke sighed, uncertain why he was even talking to a goddamn plant. “I have no idea why,” he added. “And he abandoned you in here,” he realized. “Sucks to be you,” he said, tilting his head, and touching the soil with his fingertips. It was somewhat damp. “I’m not going to kill you on purpose, but you might still die,” he warned the plant, downing the coffee, and putting the cup into the dishwasher. 

He was guessing Naruto was going to realize that he hasn't taken his _beloved plant_ with him, so he’d be calling Sasuke in panic, trying to schedule a meeting to pick it up. Sasuke promised himself he wasn’t going to be petty when that time would come.

* * *

It didn't. Naruto hasn't called him even once throughout the last few days. Sasuke supposed that Naruto _had_ realized that his precious dumb plant was still at his place because where else could it be but, apparently, it wasn’t _this_ precious, if Naruto was willing to leave it there to die. 

Not that Sasuke was actively _trying_ to kill it, he was actually doing his best at keeping it alive, he was probably checking if it had enough water like five times per day, and during the last four days he watered it only _twice_ , so he kind of knew he was overdoing it. And he even read an article on how to water correctly. And so he was fussing over the plant, trying to not get any liquid on the leaves, watering it thoroughly but in parts, and spending way more time on it than he actually had. Caring for plants was stressful as hell. 

He had believed it was supposed to be _relaxing_. This was what old people did during retirement. Or maybe they needed some excitement, and Sasuke was getting this whole thing wrong. 

Nevertheless, now Sasuke was at his parents' house, waiting for his fiancee, her parents, her maid of honor, and, _theoretically,_ Naruto, who was supposed to perform the role of his best man but Sasuke hasn't called him, and Naruto did tell Sasuke to give him a call if he wanted him to appear anywhere. Sasuke drew in a shaky breath. After the dinner, he was supposed to take Sakura to his flat, and they were supposed to spend some _quality time_ together. 

It was a disaster. Naruto had been able to keep his mind off his troubles, and he was _gone_. 

Sasuke had been alone before, and Naruto was with him for a very short time but during this time Sasuke _wasn’t_ alone anymore. He was terrified by how fast he got used to it. He wasn’t expecting to feel _lonely_ but that was exactly how he felt like. 

“You look stressed,” his mom commented in a soft voice, brushing his bangs away from his forehead. “Is everything alright? We haven't talked in quite some time,” she whispered, closing the doors to Sasuke's old room behind herself. 

“Everything's fine,” he assured his mother. He was lying, and she probably noticed, because a small, almost unnoticeable frown appeared on her face. 

“Is it about that gossip site? Your dad's already over this,” she murmured. “I think Sakura doesn't mind it either,” she added. “Is your… _friend_ going to come here?” she asked. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. “Is it because he doesn't _want_ to come here? I've never seen him,” she sighed. 

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I've invited him here but I haven't repeated the invitation,” he clarified. “It doesn’t matter if he's here, though,” he blurted out. “It's a family dinner, and he's not family, so—” 

“Neither are Sakura nor her parents yet,” she interrupted him. 

“ _Yet_ ,” he pointed out. 

“Sweetie, this _wedding_ ,” she stated in a hushed voice and paused, “It's very rushed. Don't you want to wait a little bit longer?” 

“What for?” Sasuke blurted out. 

“So you think there's nothing to wait for?” she questioned, giving him a concerned smile. “Or maybe that there's nothing awaiting you?” 

“There’s no need to wait,” Sasuke answered. It seemed like his mother wasn’t buying any of his bullshit. 

“Sasuke,” she murmured, “I don’t like this whole idea,” she confessed. “And I've tried to bring it up when talking to your dad, but then he says you want it too, and this doesn't leave me with too many arguments,” she complained. “So please, if you want to _wait_ or even call it off, just say so, and let me take care of it,” she pleaded. 

“Dad is right,” Sasuke snapped. “You really don't need to take care of anything for me, mom. If I wanted to do something, I would've done it myself,” he insisted. He could almost hear Naruto screaming _liar_ into his ear. Hell, he could hear it _ringing_ in his ears. 

“Sasuke, I'm trying to help you,” his mom whispered. “I just want you to be happy,” she stated, sounding almost apologetic. And Sasuke _hated_ seeing her like this, especially if it was because of him. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled out, pulling her into his arms and giving her a hug. “I can't, mom,” he murmured. “I need to make this work.” 

“You _don’t_ ,” she disagreed. “Look, I'll call Sakura's parents, call the dinner off, and we'll have a little talk today, okay?” she asked. He shook his head. 

“They're supposed to come here in _twenty_ _minutes_ ,” he protested. “Everything’s fine,” he lied. “We’ll have that dinner, then Sakura and I—” 

“Honey, I just want you to know that if you _don’t_ want to do this, you don't _have to_ ,” she interrupted him. “I don’t want you to be unhappy,” she whispered. Sasuke opened his mouth to reply to her but the doorbell rang. 

“I'll greet the guests,” he said instead. She gave him a sad smile that made his throat feel tight, so he took a deep breath, and walked towards the main doors. He plastered his best _I’m so pleased to see you_ smile on his face, wondering if he shouldn't simply invest in a cosmetic surgery that would make his face look like this at all times, and opened the doors. “Naruto,” he breathed out. 

“You've said you wanted me here,” the blonde stated under his breath. 

“I did,” Sasuke admitted. He had no idea whether Naruto should stay or go, and if his presence was more of a help or a hindrance. 

“Naruto, darling, I'm so happy I get to finally meet you,” Sasuke’s mom chirped, gently pushing her son out of her way. 

“Sorry for coming too soon,” Naruto replied with a small bow. 

“I'd say you're too late,” she smiled, and pulled the blonde in. Sasuke stepped aside, feeling even more awkward than before. “How come you've never visited us before?” 

“Oh,” Naruto let out a nervous laugh, sending Sasuke an even more nervous look, “Sasuke and I kind of lost contact about two years ago, so—” 

“Oh,” she sighed. 

“ _Yeah_ ,” he mumbled out, looking embarrassed and uncomfortable, and making it sound way more believable than it had the right to be. “I'm really glad to be here now, though,” he confessed. “So thank you for having me. I'm very proud to be Sasuke's best man.” 

“Naruto, I hope you won't mind it if I steal you for a short moment,” she whispered. 

“Mom, everyone's going to be here soon,” Sasuke protested. 

“Then greet them with your dad,” his mom said. “So, Naruto, darling, could you spare me some of your time?” 

“Of course,” the dumbass answered, and obediently followed after her. Sasuke glared after him. Suddenly, he regretted not telling him to disappear.

* * *

“May I call you Naruto?” Sasuke's mom, a very beautiful woman, who looked almost like Sasuke, asked, and Naruto nodded as she guided him into a room on the _second_ floor of a goddamn mansion. “Naruto, do you think Sasuke is… _excited_ about the wedding?” 

“Yes, of course,” he answered with a polite smile. She didn't look happy about the answer. 

“How long do you two know each other?” she questioned. She wasn’t looking as _lovely_ as before. 

“We've met at the university,” he said. 

“So that's at least five years, and yet I haven't heard about you till a few _days_ ago,” she noted. “Do you have any idea _why_?” 

“I'm gay, so maybe that's why,” he suggested. “And Sasuke told me about _Itachi_ a week ago. He's not very good with sharing,” he added. 

“He… a week ago?” she whispered. “I knew he took it hard but… I'm sorry, I need a moment,” she said and took a deep breath, her eyes glossing over. “Naruto,” she continued after a longer pause, “you have to know that I love Sasuke very much,” she confessed, “and I want him to be happy.” 

Naruto nodded. He wasn’t a huge fan of disclaimers such as these because usually there was something horrible coming after it, there was a _but_ , and then it was one of the worse things that could be possibly said. 

“I _really_ want him to be happy, now he's my only child,” she murmured. “I feel ashamed that I have to talk about this with you since I've barely met you,” she confessed, “but please, tell me, do you _really_ think he's excited about his upcoming marriage?” 

“Yes,” Naruto answered. There was nothing else he could've said. 

“I _saw_ that stupid photo,” she revealed. “I've read the explanation and everything, and believe me that I would be happy to welcome you as my son-in-law if this was what would make Sasuke happy,” she insisted, sounding almost frantic. “So if it took _this_ engagement to bring you two together again, then I'm happy that something good came out of it,” she confessed. “So _please_ , tell me, are you and my son—” 

“No, ma’am,” Naruto interrupted her with a forced smile. “Your son is gorgeous, and believe me, I _tried_ , but he's straight,” he tried to joke, watching her heart being broken into smithereens. He needed to have a _serious_ talk with Sasuke. Preferably this instant. “Don't worry, Sasuke’s probably just nervous,” he insisted. “But I'm certain he's happy about his upcoming marriage,” she assured the woman, who clearly wasn’t buying what he was selling. 

“I'm sorry,” she mumbled out. “I shouldn't have… I've asked you some very personal questions, it was extremely unbecoming of me,” she apologized, sounding dead. “I’ll let you get back to the rest,” she added, hooking her arm around his, and leading Naruto out of the room, and towards the stairs. “If you ever change your mind, please, do tell me,” she pleaded, leaving him in the corridor, and leaving to wherever. Naruto wasn't even allowed to _breathe_ as Sasuke appeared behind his back like some fucking Batman. 

“My mom looks _devastated_ , what have you told her?!” the man demanded to know. 

“We need to talk,” Naruto blurted out. “ _Now_ ,” he insisted. He saw Sasuke sending a quick look towards the main doors, and then the man pretty much shoved him into a nearby room. 

“Your plant is still alive,” Sasuke sighed. 

“Thank you,” the blonde mumbled out. “I think your mom suspects that you're gay,” he whispered, leaning towards Sasuke. “She was actually ready to welcome me as her son-in-law,” he added. “So you might wanna talk to her,” he advised, sending Sasuke a little smile. 

“I hope you haven't told her anything that would—” 

“I've told her that you're straight,” Naruto huffed. “Confidentiality agreement, remember?” he sighed. “I thought you'd be _happier_ ,” he commented. “Just tell your mom that—” 

“I'm _not_ telling her anything,” Sasuke snapped. 

“ _Why_?” Naruto asked. “She wants you to be _happy_ , at least try to honor her wishes,” he complained. 

“Because it's not about me being happy but about me doing what needs to be done for my family,” Sasuke barked. 

“ _Please, stop being stupid_ ,” the blonde whined. 

“If I don’t _honor_ ,” Sasuke started and rolled his eyes, when Naruto did the quotation marks for him, “my agreement with Sakura, I will tarnish the company's reputation, we’ll seem unreliable. It would get even worse if I was to come out—” 

“What century are you living in?!” Naruto blurted out. “Besides, I think you're the one, who needs to read his dictionary because family and company are _not_ synonyms,” he snarled. “Get a hold of yourself, and—” 

“Just do your job,” Sasuke interrupted him. “If you can't, _leave_ ,” he ordered. Naruto sucked in a breath. It was almost physically painful. 

“Fine,” he relented. He was guessing that leaving Sasuke alone for these last few days was a horrible idea because Sasuke was having his stupid conversations with himself, and gods knew that he _needed_ someone to talk over him when he was telling himself that he needed to be his father's version of a good son. “I will do my _job_ ,” he promised. 

“Good,” Sasuke barked. “I'll hand the plant over to Karin on Monday, and you can pick it up from her,” he added. 

“Sasuke, I _love_ this plant but it's literally the last thing on my mind right now,” Naruto sighed as he opened the doors and left the room. He gave Sasuke's mom a little smile as he passed her on his way to the dining room. And there he was. Sasuke's father. Family head, sitting at the head of the table. Naruto slightly bowed _his_ head as he greeted the stern-looking man. “Naruto Uzumaki,” he introduced himself. 

“Are you related to my son's assistant?” the man questioned. 

“I doubt it,” Naruto answered. “Perhaps distantly,” he supplied. He took a seat, and Sasuke's father raised an eyebrow, as if he expected Naruto to keep standing until he was given a permission to sit down. 

“So what do you do for a living?” 

“I'm a photographer,” Naruto answered. Sasuke's father raised his eyebrows. It seemed being a photographer wasn’t a very respectable trade. 

“He earns most of his money on the stock market,” Sasuke stated as he entered the room. He didn't sit down. It was pissing Naruto off. 

“So you do have a real job,” Fugaku said. 

“Yes, I'm a photographer,” Naruto replied with a polite smile. 

“Don't pay any attention to him,” Sasuke sighed. He jerked up when he heard the doorbell. His mother and he hurried towards the doors to greet the rest of the guests, while Naruto and Fugaku stayed in the dining room. They stared each other down as joyous noises erupted in the corridor. Soon Sakura’s parents, Ino, and Sakura, glued to Sasuke's arm, entered the room. Naruto stood up to greet and introduce himself to them. Fugaku merely bowed his head. 

“Please take a seat,” Sasuke’s mom chirped, taking a seat on the other end of the table. She was sitting to the left of Naruto. To his right was Ino. Sasuke was sitting opposite to him. Soon two men entered, handing them aperitif. Naruto took a deep breath and started to mingle. 

“You look quite different today,” Ino commented. Naruto smiled at her. She was beautiful in a very classical way. Blond, tall and well-groomed. With a heart of a party girl. “Now I'm even more bummed out that I don't stand a chance,” she joked. 

“I think that a pretty girl _always_ stands a chance,” he smiled at her. 

“Well, you _are_ a pretty girl,” she murmured. “I guess you'll have to take Sakura's place when she'll be busy with being a happy wife,” she chuckled. 

“If you’re talking about shopping sprees, count me in,” he laughed. 

“I believe I'm not up to speed with something,” Sasuke’s mom chimed in. 

“Oh, Mrs. Uchiha, it's just that Naruto here might take my place as the prettiest bridesmaid,” Ino replied. 

“I think I'll be wearing a suit,” Naruto said. “I wouldn't want to steal the spotlight from the bride,” he murmured, and Ino snorted. Sasuke’s mom smiled, and raised an eyebrow in a mute question. “I'll show you a picture later, ma’am,” he promised. “Right now it might not be seen as very appropriate,” he added in an apologetic tone. 

“The atmosphere here might not loosen up anymore,” she warned him. 

“It doesn’t need to,” Sasuke sighed. 

“Oh, c'mon, honey, we could all use some loosening up,” Sakura chirped. 

“Yeah, we’re about to be a family, so let's stop with this _business_ dinner,” Sakura’s father laughed. He looked positively crazy. Well. His haircut looked crazy. From what Naruto’s gathered, he worked in the creative department of his wife's company, and it _showed_. He had a look of a mad scientist if mad scientists were wearing lilac hair. “We’ll be spending holidays together,” he added. “And our granny doesn't know when to stop drinking,” he chortled. 

“ _Daddy_ ,” Sakura protested. 

“Baby girl, you know I'm right,” her dad kept on laughing. Sakura looked beyond embarrassed but also _happy_. Uchihas, on the other hand, looked just uncomfortable. 

“I'm not a baby anymore, daddy,” Sakura blurted out. 

“Yes, your daughter grew up into one magnificent woman,” Sasuke’s mom chimed in, tilting her glass towards Sakura's parents. 

“Sakura, I think it's high time for you to learn how to clean up after yourself or your in-laws will realize you're not as magnificent,” Sakura's mom teased her. 

“ _Mama_ ,” Sakura breathed out, obviously making herself sound more scandalized than she really was. “You have no idea how happy I am that Sasuke meets you _now_ , and not earlier,” she giggled. “Honey, see? No wonder I'm still a bachelorette—” 

“Two more years, and you'd be a spinster,” Ino snorted, clinking her glass with Sakura’s. 

“Don't worry, Ino, I’ll still be friends with you even when you'll finally become a crazy cat lady,” Sakura chirped. “After all I'll need to have someone to take care of my children, when Sasuke and I will need some _alone time_ ,” she stated in a stage whisper, earning herself a few chuckles from her family. Sasuke's father looked as if he choked on something a few minutes ago, Sasuke was wearing an _extremely_ uncomfortable smile, and Sasuke's mom seemed desperate to somehow save the situation. 

“Sasuke, you've never told me you'd be friends with me even if I was to become a crazy cat lady,” Naruto complained in a soft voice. 

“I don't like cats,” Sasuke sighed. 

“You've always liked your aunt’s cats,” his mom disagreed, hiding her smile behind her hand. “When Sasuke was small, he was always nagging his aunt, begging her to let him play with her cats,” she laughed. 

“ _Cute_ ,” Naruto chuckled. Sasuke sent him a bewildered look, as if Naruto just said the worst imaginable thing. The blonde mentally rolled his eyes, _wishing_ he could've told Sasuke that his gay was showing. 

“We can get a cat,” Sakura offered. “But that's for _after_ the baby is born,” she stated and gave her 100 watt smile. 

“Pregnancy suits you,” Ino chimed in. “I noticed you've gained a few pounds lately but I didn't want to say anything since you're getting ready to get married, but now—” 

“Am I going to be a granny?” Sakura’s mom squealed. Sasuke's father looked absolutely distressed. Way more than when he found out his son was friends with, gods forbid, a photographer. 

“You _will_ ,” Sakura gritted through her teeth. “But I'm _not_ pregnant yet. And I haven't gained even _one_ pound,” she added, glaring at Ino, who merely shrugged her shoulders with a disarmingly charming smile. 

“Then maybe you're just swollen with water, _baby girl_ ,” Ino teased her best friend. “And look at you, you’re radiating,” she whispered. “Must be the _just fell in love_ look,” she concluded with a smile. Naruto was wondering just _how much_ Ino knew about the soon to be newlyweds. And how much of it was just her guessing because she was clearly being fake, playing dumber than she really was. 

Then a rather uncomfortable silence befell them, and Naruto almost kissed the guy, who started putting appetizers on the table. Most of the guests were careful to _always_ have something in their mouth, so nobody would be wondering _why_ they weren't talking. Except for Sakura, who apparently decided to start a diet. One of them models diets. Because she wasn't eating anything, glaring at Ino when she offered Naruto a brioche. 

“Have you decided where you'll be living after the wedding?” Sasuke’s father muttered his question. 

“Not yet,” Sasuke answered, almost gagging on whatever he was currently eating. 

“First at my place since it’s bigger,” Sakura replied at the same time. “But we'll need to buy something nice just for us and the children,” she said. “I have some nice candidates in good neighborhoods with good schools, so maybe we'll even be able to take care of it _before_ the wedding,” she concluded. 

“I guess Sasuke's going to take your family name,” Naruto joked. “It's clear, who's calling all the shots here,” he laughed. Sakura laughed back, evidently pleased with herself. Sasuke's father looked, as if he forgot how to chew. 

“I don’t think so,” Sasuke muttered. “We simply haven't discussed the issue of where we’ll live yet,” he explained himself. “But I’m glad that you've made some research,” he added, giving Sakura an acknowledging nod. 

“You might want to wait with buying a new house,” Sasuke’s mom advised, looking at her platter. “You're too _excited_ right now, and it's an important decision, so I think you should wait for _after_ the wedding,” she suggested. 

“Nonsense, you two will be starting a new life together, and you should do it _right_ ,” Sakura's dad exclaimed. “Sugarplum, just tell me what you like, and your mom and I will give it to you in a wedding gift,” he stated. 

“Just don't go too crazy,” her mom chimed in with a smile. 

“I think they should pay for their place with their own money,” Sasuke’s mom disagreed. “They'll appreciate it more.” 

“We should spoil them every once in a while,” Sakura's dad laughed. “So they know their parents love them.” 

“In this case I believe we should buy it together,” Sasuke's dad sighed. “We'll discuss it after the dinner,” he suggested. 

Sakura gave her parents and future in-laws a blinding smile, and Sasuke wasn’t saying anything. Ino looked bored. Naruto wished Ino told him she needed him to do whatever, so they could both scram from this shit fest. He took a deep breath. It was becoming more and _more_ real. And Sasuke was being an idiot. All he had to do was telling his mother the truth. Naruto wished he didn't offer to have such a ridiculously high fine for breaking the confidentiality agreement because he was barely able to stop himself from stepping in. 

“Thank you, I really can't wait for the big day,” Sakura confessed. “And I'm glad you'll all be there… all of my closest friends and family, and _you_ , Ino,” she said, giving her best friend a nasty smile. 

“Just remember to pay me for appearing there, so you can pretend someone actually likes you,” Ino chirped back, and Naruto couldn't stop himself from letting out an undignified snort. 

“I swear I'll make you wear the ugliest thing I’ll be able to find,” Sakura laughed. 

“You're _so_ insecure,” Ino commented. “But you still know whom everyone will be talking about when they say _ohhh_ _she's so pretty_ ,” she giggled. 

“In this case I'll do my best at being the _ohhh_ _he's so handsome_ ,” Naruto offered Ino, who gladly nodded her cute little head. “It might be my last chance to upstage you, Sasuke, and I’m not letting it pass me by,” he laughed. 

“I think I'll somehow be able to survive this,” Sasuke sighed. 

“Engaged life broke you,” Naruto complained. “You're so easygoing now. No more _in your dreams_?” 

“No,” Sasuke barked. Sasuke's mom sent Naruto a sad smile. This family meeting was a disaster. If Naruto had to choose, he'd much rather belong to Sakura's family since it seemed that they were more _fun_ but it was a complete mismatch with Sasuke's. 

Sasuke's father was… exactly what Naruto expected, to be honest. He looked stern, was stern, and Naruto was no longer amazed by how weird Sasuke could be at times. Sasuke's mom, on the other hand, was _lovely_. But much more… introverted than Sakura's parents. They were both introverted. Sasuke too was kind of introverted. Sakura and her family were extrovert, and so was Naruto _but_ Naruto had experience with introverts, and he kind of knew when to _stop_ , and give them some room to breathe. 

“Everything is delicious,” Naruto commented. 

“Yes, it's a good thing I came here hungry,” Sakura's dad laughed. “Well, I'm _usually_ hungry, neither my wife nor I can cook,” he said and winked. 

“Oh, I didn't cook it,” Sasuke's mom confessed. “I do cook but I'm not so good with complicated dishes,” she murmured. 

“I'd love to try your cooking, _mom_ ,” Sakura chimed in with a polite smile. “We can cook together, maybe I'll finally have someone to teach me,” she laughed, sending her mom a cheeky grin. 

“Definitely,” Sasuke’s mother agreed, her face cracking up in a smile that was uncomfortably fake. 

“I hope you'll accept me as an apprentice too,” Sakura’s dad chuckled. “Or would I be ruining a potential bonding moment?” 

“You would,” Sakura insisted. 

“Oh, I wouldn't mind it,” Sasuke's mom assured Sakura's dad. 

“You can give me some cooking lessons _right now_ ,” Ino whispered to Naruto. “I don’t care if you can cook, we can just buy a frozen pizza and burn it,” she offered. “And I'm not hitting on you, I'm just super uncomfortable,” she complained. Naruto sent her an awkward smile, praying that no-one but him actually heard her. 

“I hope we won't have to eat burnt pizza today,” Sasuke's mom whispered. Naruto smiled back at her, wishing the ground opened and swallowed him. He was used to awkward family meetings, hell, he made his living by attending awkward family meetings. He's met countless drunk grannies, sat through numerous uncomfortable tirades, and kept on smiling even though he _knew_ for a fact that one person was cheating on the other. And yet he's never felt as embarrassed as now. 

“Why would we have to eat burnt pizza?” Sasuke asked, sounding pissed off. 

“Well, if one of these two nice gentlemen screws up,” Naruto blurted out, “we might need to order some food,” he stuttered, trying to save the situation and failing. 

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Sasuke decided. Luckily for everyone present, he wasn't interested enough to keep pressing, and Ino decided to shut up for good. 

“I believe that you might as well show me those pictures you were talking about, Naruto,” Sasuke's mom sighed, “The atmosphere _did_ loosen up beyond my wildest expectations,” she confessed. Naruto nodded, and fished out his phone. He scrolled through a few photos, and handed the phone to her. 

“This is _you_?” she questioned. “Unbelievable,” she murmured. “Amazing, really,” she complimented him. 

“Thank you,” he mumbled out. 

“It's a good photo too. I've heard you're a photographer, so is this somehow yours?” 

“Oh, no, I do stock photos,” he laughed. “Much less glamorous but pretty fun.” 

“I'm glad that you enjoy it,” she replied, and handed Naruto his phone back. “It's important to _enjoy_ your job,” she added. “It's something you do for most of your life, after all,” she lectured. “And I've heard you just ended a relationship,” she murmured. “Good for you, darling.” 

“Yes, thank you,” Naruto replied. Sasuke's mom was being much more obvious than she probably thought she was. 

“I hope you don't have any regrets,” she stated, giving him raised eyebrows. She could've as well been holding a huge banner with _tell him to dump her_ written on it in all capital letters. 

“No, no, I'm glad it ended,” he answered. 

“This is exactly what I'm thinking,” she commented. “I've seen too many people forcing themselves to keep doing things that make them unhappy,” she whispered. “So I’m really proud of you, darling,” she concluded. 

“Sometimes a man needs to do something he doesn't like,” Sasuke's father stated. Naruto gave him a polite smile. 

“But not for an extended period of time, honey,” Sasuke's mom complained. 

“Oh, you're absolutely right,” Sakura's dad chimed in, apparently still unaware of what everyone really _was_ talking about. “I've used to have a job I _hated_. It wasn’t worth it.” 

“But thanks to it you're where you are _now_ ,” Sasuke's father pointed out. “So I’d say it _was_ worth it.” 

“Not really,” Sakura's dad laughed. “I used to work in IT, and it _really_ wasn’t my thing. And, if I changed my job earlier, I would've met my lovely wife earlier too,” he added with a wink. 

“So how did it go with the desserts?” Naruto blurted out. 

“Oh, just _perfect_ ,” Sakura squealed. “Turns out Sasuke has as much of a sweet tooth, as I do,” she cooed. 

“I thought you hated sweets, honey,” Sasuke’s mom mumbled out. 

“I guess I simply haven't met the right confectioner,” Sasuke replied. 

“Oh yes, he _is_ perfect,” Sakura agreed. 

“In this case I'm happy for you,” Sasuke's mom sighed. “I'm guessing the desserts will be out of this world then.” 

“They most definitely will,” Sakura assured her. “We've ordered one less sweet just for you, mom,” she added, sounding proud of herself. 

“Thank you, sweetheart,” the woman replied. “But you needn’t bother yourself with me, I just want you to be happy.” 

“You're giving me your son, and it's the greatest gift a woman can dream of,” Sakura murmured. “And this is why I want you to know that I’ll do everything it takes to make both you and him happy,” she promised. Naruto took a deep breath. It seemed she did notice Mikoto's little comments. And now she really was trying to appease her. But it was all pointless. 

Mikoto was a momma bear, trying to protect her cub, and she wasn't going to be impressed with a cake or, most probably, anything else that Sakura had to offer. Naruto suspected that it wasn’t even a _Sakura_ issue, she would probably act exactly the same with _anyone else_. Because nobody was going to be good enough for her son. 

“I guess I should've put a bow on you, Sasuke,” she murmured. 

“Yes, he'd look _cute_ ,” Naruto agreed. He _hoped_ everyone was going to focus on him because it was much better if _he_ was going to be the center of attention right now. “I can already picture you wearing a big bow on your ass,” he laughed. 

“It’s not going to happen,” Sasuke informed him in a dry tone. His sense of humor must've died when he entered his family house. 

“Shame,” Ino commented. “I was already getting all excited,” she added, sounding as dry as Sasuke did. 

“ _Guys_ ,” Sakura hissed at them. “You're making everyone uncomfortable, stop being such horndogs,” she demanded. 

“I can't help it,” Naruto smiled at her, shrugging his shoulders in an unapologetic way. 

“And neither can I,” Ino whispered. “I'm a bows fetishist,” she confessed, sounding absolutely serious. 

“And so is Sasuke,” Naruto snorted. “But he's into the piercing kind, I'm afraid.” 

“ _Really_?!” Sakura inquired. “I can't believe you've never told me,” she complained in a dreamy voice. “You can teach me some basics tomorrow,” she suggested. Oh gods. She was trying so hard. 

“Of course,” Sasuke relented. 

“But only if _you_ want it,” she added. “I want you to have a good time with me,” she cooed. 

“I'll have a good time with you no matter what we’ll be doing,” Sasuke assured her. His tone of voice changed. His face looked like a mask. His intentions were good but he most definitely _wasn’t_ delivering. 

“You're sweet,” she replied with a smile. “But for today and tomorrow I want to do only what _you_ want to do,” she said. 

“Sleep,” Naruto supplied. “Because sorry Sasuke but you look _exhausted_ ,” he said. He wasn’t even lying. 

“I'm _not_ ,” Sasuke muttered. 

“But you _do_ look tired, sweetheart,” his mom chimed in. “Are you certain you don’t want to rest? I've heard your Monday will be pretty rough.” 

“It's the first time I've heard about it,” Sasuke breathed out. 

“I'll be sending you on a business trip,” Sasuke's dad admitted. “You'll be giving a presentation in one of our possible clients' companies,” he added. “I expect you to be prepared.” 

“I will be,” he promised. Naruto could barely stop himself from smiling. “Sakura, I'm sorry, I won't be able to spend—” 

“Family comes first, son,” Sakura’s dad interrupted him. “Fugaku, let children have their fun, I'm certain you can send some other poor soul to give a presentation,” he insisted. 

“There's no need, I'll just make it work,” Sasuke chimed in. 

“I need you to be at the top of your game on Monday,” Sasuke’s father stated. 

“I will be,” Sasuke promised. 

“Son, your family won't wait all your life for you to stop working and spend some time with them,” Sakura’s dad lectured. “I know you think you're doing it _for them_ but I've seen enough Disney movies to know that it'll end badly,” he joked. “Really, son, get your priorities straight.” 

“I'll just do both,” Sasuke assured him. Now he actually looked sick. Naruto moved his foot under the table to brush it against Sasuke’s, hoping that the man would _somehow_ read his mind. 

“Daddy, I think it’s commendable of Sasuke to work so hard,” Sakura said. “So don't worry, Sasuke, we can spend the weekend working on your presentation,” she offered. 

“Thank you but I'd rather do it alone,” Sasuke replied. “I'll just pull an all-nighter tonight, and make it work,” he sighed. 

“Honey, I don’t want you to tire yourself up like this,” Sakura protested. “You need your rest,” she insisted. “Let me help you,” she pleaded. “After all, we’re a team.” 

“I'm afraid it's still sensitive information, Sakura,” Sasuke’s mom chimed in, sounding satisfied. “You can always spend some time together next week,” she suggested. 

“I guess,” Sakura relented. 

“I don't like the looks of it,” her dad complained. “Honey, have I _ever_ put work before you?” he asked his wife, who shook her head. “See, it's doable,” he insisted. “The kids need some quality time together. Fugaku, just give this assignment to someone else.” 

“I'm afraid Sasuke is the best person for this job,” Mikoto murmured. “And we need to make sure everything goes _perfect_ _ly_ with this client,” she added. Naruto touched Sasuke's foot with his own again because Sasuke really was starting to look like he was about to throw up. 

“I’ll make everything work,” the man repeated. “Don't worry, I won't disappoint you,” he promised. 

“I can't afford it to have you disappoint me,” his father informed him in a flat voice. “Do you remember the talk we've had the other day? Because I do want you to remember it.” 

“Of course,” Sasuke answered. His face was pale, and he looked like he was about to pass out. 

“Sasuke, I need to borrow you for a minute,” Naruto blurted out, standing up, practically running towards the man, and pulling him up from his chair. 

“I don’t have time for your shenanigans,” Sasuke complained. 

“It's urgent,” Naruto insisted. Sasuke _finally_ stood up, so Naruto lead him out of the room. And it felt as if Sasuke was barely able to _walk_. “Just a few more seconds,” Naruto whispered, and _finally_ they reached a bathroom, so Naruto pulled the man in. And that was the exact moment Sasuke threw up. Partially on the floor but _most_ of it did end up in the toilet bowl. Naruto sighed and grabbed a roll of toilet paper to clean up the mess as Sasuke kept on heaving. “After meeting your lovely dad, I changed my mind about throwing up on the table,” Naruto whispered. 

“Sorry, I had no idea I'd—” 

“You were having a complete freak out,” the blonde murmured, collecting the dirty paper, and throwing it into the toilet to flush it down. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed but it's a complete disaster,” he commented. Sasuke didn't reply him, he just slumped on the floor, resting his back against the bathroom doors. 

“Leave it, I'll clean it up,” the man insisted, his voice shaky. 

“I'm almost done anyways,” Naruto replied, wiping the floor clean, and looking for something to make it smell better. “We’ll need to go back there soon,” he warned the man, finding a sponge in the cabinet under the basin. “ _Or_ ,” he offered, “I'll go there alone and tell everyone that you got sick.” 

“Do you have _any_ idea how it'll look like?” Sasuke complained. 

“To me it looks like you cracked under the pressure,” Naruto answered. 

“I can't afford it,” Sasuke whispered. 

“Your parents are both crazy,” Naruto commented, wiping the floor. “Seeing your father makes me fell thankful that I don't have one,” he added, throwing the sponge into the basin, and cleaning it. Sasuke made a weird noise that sounded dangerously close to a whimper. Naruto let out a soft sigh, and squatted in front of the other man. He wanted to comfort him. He wanted to hug him and take him the fuck away from here. But he couldn't. “Sasuke,” he whispered, planting his hand on the other man's shoulder and giving it a small rub. He paused when he heard soft steps. 

“Honey, is everything okay in there?” Sakura asked in a hushed voice. Naruto took a deep breath, made Sasuke stand up, forced him to sit on the edge of the bathtub, and left the bathroom. Sakura gave him a questioning look. 

“He got sick,” he whispered. “But we can't tell it to anyone,” he pleaded. “You've seen his father, he'll skin him alive,” he insisted. She slowly nodded her head. “Sakura, could you _please_ pretend that everything is fine, and that you _are_ going to spend this weekend with him?” he asked. 

“But we aren't going to do it,” she said, sounding dead and disappointed. 

“ _He threw up on the_ _floor_ ,” Naruto sighed. “He's stressed out, and your dad isn't exactly helping either,” he blurted out. “I'm sorry it's not what you dreamt of but—” 

“No, it's okay,” she interrupted him, looking embarrassed. “Can I see him?” 

“Yeah,” Naruto agreed, opening the doors and letting her in. Sasuke was now sitting on the floor, his back against the bathtub. He looked like a hot mess, his face hidden in his arms. 

“Honey,” she cooed, kneeling in front of him, and giving him a little smooch on the top of his head. “Come on, let's go back, we’ll say that I'm spending this weekend with you, and then I'll return home and let you work, okay?” 

“I don’t need this,” Sasuke protested. 

“Then do it for me,” she pleaded. “I hate seeing you like this,” she murmured, combing through his bangs with her long fingers. “I want you to do well, okay? So come on, let's go back because everyone's wondering where you two have ran off to,” she concluded with a smile. Naruto heard Sasuke sucking in a shaky breath. 

“Come on, Sasuke,” he whispered. “We're almost done with the dessert, it'll be just a few more minutes,” he insisted. “And then I'll drive you and Sakura off,” he offered. 

“Fine,” Sasuke relented with a heavy sigh, giving his eyes one final rub and raising his head. Naruto sighed, shoved a small guest towel under the tap with cold water, and handed it to Sasuke, so he could wipe his face with it. “I'm sorry,” Sasuke said. 

“It's okay, honey,” Sakura murmured. 

“Yeah, Sasuke, everything is alright,” Naruto assured him. “Just pull yourself together for a few more minutes, okay?” 

“Can do,” Sasuke sighed, standing up, and straightening a crease on his jacket. 

“If anyone asked, _I_ got sick,” Naruto said, messing up his hair, dipping his fingertips in the liquid soap, and touching his eyes with them to make them red and stingy. So doing pretty much the opposite what Sasuke was doing. 

“Always the performer,” Sakura commented. 

“I know I'm lovely but this guy is my only friend,” he replied with a weak smile, rubbing water into his shirt and tie to make it look as if he had to wipe something off them. He had to look worse than Sasuke, and Sasuke's eyes were somewhat puffy. Topping that would be difficult. 

“Thank you,” Sasuke croaked as Naruto knelt on the floor to mess up his pants a little bit. 

“Drink some tap water, we need you to sound as if nothing happened,” Naruto replied. Sasuke nodded and obeyed. 

“Thank you,” he repeated, this time sounding normally. 

“My pleasure,” Naruto replied with a curtsy. Sasuke actually smiled at him. 

“Break a leg,” Sakura chuckled, hooking her arm around Sasuke’s. Naruto grinned back at her, feeling inexplicably _jealous_. Then all three of them left the bathroom and returned to the dining room. Everyone was almost finished with their desserts. 

“Sorry,” Naruto mumbled out, his voice sounding as if it had to go through a layer of gravel. He cleared his throat, pretending to be embarrassed about how he sounded like. 

“Is everything alright?” Sasuke’s mom asked in a hushed voice. 

“Sorry, I got sick, and I wasn't certain where the bathroom was,” he replied in a whisper loud enough that at least few more people could hear him. 

“Oh, darling,” Sasuke's mom cooed. “You think it's because of something you ate here?” 

“Sometimes my lactose intolerance speaks up,” he answered. “I've just been irresponsible, I promise it won't happen again.” 

“Oh, don't be sorry,” she insisted. “I just want to make sure you're feeling better,” she assured him. 

“Much better, ma’am,” he said. “Sorry again, especially for stealing Sasuke away on such an important occasion.” 

“No, no, I'm glad you had someone you could ask for help,” she replied, waving her hand at him. “If you need anymore help, don't hesitate to ask me,” she added. He nodded and thanked her. All eyes were on him, and everyone was ignoring Sasuke. And that was exactly how it was supposed to be. 

“Alright, Sasuke, I'm done,” Sakura announced. “We don't have much time left, so let's go,” she hurried him. 

“Oh, I'll go with you,” Naruto chimed in. 

“So you're spending the weekend together after all?” Mikoto questioned. 

“Yes, mom,” Sakura answered. “I'll simply leave earlier than I planned to, so my honey can focus on his work,” she added with a soft smile. 

“Excellent idea,” her dad applauded her. “I'm glad you two were able to find a compromise.” 

“Me too,” Sakura chirped. “And Naruto, we'll be calling a cab, so,” she paused. “Do you live somewhere nearby or?” 

“No, no, I came here by my car,” he answered, and stood up from his place. “But I can give you two a lift since it's on the way anyways,” he offered. 

“Oh, if you're feeling good enough, then sure, thanks,” she chirped, standing up as well and grabbing her tiny bag. Naruto sent her a warm smile. He was guessing she was somewhat happy about the outcome anyways since she got to see Sasuke vulnerable. The only problem was that Naruto didn't like having her see this part of Sasuke. She didn't even notice that something was wrong until Naruto pulled him away from the table. Nobody noticed, and all eyes were on him. Naruto took a deep breath. 

He couldn't be getting possessive, he had no right to be possessive, and possessiveness was something he hated with a burning passion but he couldn't help it. The weak side of Sasuke was for _him_ to protect. Everyone else was to him an unwanted intruder. It was sick and wrong, and there was nothing he could do about it. Except for pretending that it didn't bother him in the slightest. 

He was good at pretending. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I just wanted to give you a taste of xmas :D I know you all can't wait <3
> 
> And thank you for all of your comments, kudos, bookmarks, subscriptions and everything else :D
> 
> We need some more Sasuke POV, don't we


	11. Chapter 11

“How are you feeling?” Naruto asked the moment they saw Sakura entering her building. Sasuke turned his head towards him, and shrugged his shoulders.

“Tired,” he answered. He was sitting in the backseat of Naruto's car because Sakura had wanted to be next to him and  _snuggle_ , because apparently her shoving her elbows into his stomach was going to make him feel less sick. It didn't. And now, when it was just Naruto and him left, it felt weird. As if Naruto was his chauffeur. Sasuke wasn't used to being driven around, usually it was  _him_  sitting behind the wheel.

“If you want me to make a stop, just say so,” the blonde sighed. He was oddly quiet. “I'm kind of used to bachelors puking in my car but I seriously don't like it,” he murmured. Sasuke made an affirmative noise. He was expecting Naruto to  _talk_. Normally, the man would've shared his opinion on every single person he met, probably insulting them in the process. And then he'd tell Sasuke why exactly he thought the meeting was a complete disaster. There was none of it, only silence.

“It's a lease car, isn't it?” Sasuke asked.

“Yeah, the car I'm driving needs to fit my social status,” Naruto answered, sounding bored. “So does my phone and my clothes,” he sighed.

They both remained quiet for the next few minutes. Sasuke frowned when he noticed that they were slowly nearing his apartment. “Aren't you going to say anything?” he asked.

“What do you want to hear?” Naruto replied with a question.

“Whatever you want to say,” Sasuke answered.

“You wanted me to do my  _job_ ,” Naruto pointed out. “Saying whatever I want to say isn't a part of my job,” he added as he drove into the underground parking and stopped the car. Sasuke didn't move from his spot. He was  _waiting_. He wasn’t certain what exactly he was waiting for. “Do you need me to walk you to the doors?” Naruto asked, sounding disgustingly polite.

“I don’t,” Sasuke muttered in reply.

“ _Okay_ ,” the blonde mumbled out. He shifted in his seat, looking more and more uncomfortable with every passing second. Sasuke folded his arms, not moving for even an inch. “I guess I'll turn the radio on,” Naruto breathed out. Sasuke didn't reply to it, and the blonde actually did turn the radio on. A song filled the air. From what Sasuke gathered, at least fifty percent of the lyrics was the word thunder.  

“I don't have time for this,” Sasuke complained. “If you want, you can collect your plant since you're already here,” he added.

“Sure,” the blonde agreed, leaving the car. Sasuke sighed and followed after him. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Naruto heading towards the elevator.

“I thought we were taking stairs,” Sasuke blurted out.

“You look like shit,” Naruto replied.

“There's no reason to make us  _both_ look like shit,” Sasuke argued.

“It’s just a few seconds,” the blonde sighed. “I can take it, so c'mon.”

“If you were so level-headed about it, you would've  _always_ taken the elevator because there aren't too many sane people, who would rather climb  _eleven_ flights of stairs than suffer some minor discomfort,” Sasuke barked. “We’re taking the stairs,” he decided.

“I thought you considered yourself a sane person,” Naruto yelled after him as Sasuke approached the staircase. “Oh, for fuck's sake,” the blonde whined as Sasuke started climbing the stairs. “Fine, have it your way,” the dumbass relented with a heavy sigh. “Why are you being so difficult?” he complained.

“I'm not being difficult,” Sasuke disagreed.

“Then what specific word would you use to describe your behavior?” Naruto questioned.

“ _Normal_ ,” Sasuke answered.

“Yeah, I don’t think so,” the dumbass sighed. “Seriously, Sasuke,  _what_ do you want from me? You haven't talked to me in four days, you almost haven't talked to me today at the dinner, and when you  _were_ talking, you've said you wanted me to do my job,” he said. “So this is me doing my job.”

“We're alone now,” Sasuke pointed out.

“And what does it change?” Naruto asked, sounding exasperated. They were on the second floor now. Soon Naruto would grab his stupid plant and disappear. And the next time Sasuke was going to see him would be at the wedding rehearsal. A week from now. Two weeks from now Sasuke was going to get married, and Naruto was going to disappear for good.

“Everything,” Sasuke insisted and stopped walking, hoping that Naruto was going to wait. He did. Probably out of duty.

“Are you certain that you’re feeling good?”

“Yes,” Sasuke answered.

“Then tell me what you're expecting from me—”

“I don’t expect anything, and I don’t mean it in a bad way,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“Then say what you want from me,” Naruto pleaded. “Because right now I'm mostly confused.”

“I want you to talk to me,” Sasuke breathed out.

“I  _am_ talking to you,” Naruto sighed. “We are talking right now.”

“I mean talk like you used to,” Sasuke confessed. “No brain to mouth filter, no  _doing your job_ —”

“ _You_  wanted me to do my job,” Naruto snapped at him. “You keep saying you're going to marry Sakura, you're refusing my help, your mom's help,  _everyone's_ help, and you're just making yourself miserable,” he yelled. “You didn't even  _want me_ to be there today. If I haven't showed up, you probably wouldn't have called me  _at all_ , even if I missed your fucking wedding,” he continued shouting.

“Then why did you come?” Sasuke asked.

“Because leaving you alone with your mess just fucking  _hurts_ ,” Naruto blurted out. “But you don't want me to get involved into it,” he complained. “So what can I do except for just being here for you and waiting for you to ask for help?”

“I'm not going to ask you for help,” Sasuke whispered.

“I know,” Naruto sighed. “It doesn't change the fact that I'll be waiting.”

“Can't you just go back to being  _you_?” Sasuke asked after a longer while of silence. “If that even  _was_ you,” he breathed out. “I don’t know if I've ever met  _you_.”

“You have,” Naruto answered after a short while of hesitation. “But you don’t want  _me_. To be honest, I have  _no_  idea what you want.”

Sasuke drew a shaky breath. He wasn’t certain what he wanted either. After a few minutes of awkward silence, the blonde sighed, and started climbing the stairs again, passing Sasuke on his way up.

“You're going to leave,” Sasuke whispered.

“Yeah,” Naruto admitted.

"Don't,” Sasuke said.

“Sasuke, you're kind of busy,” the blonde blurted out. “You need to do that presentation or whatever,” he argued as he kept on walking. “And it clearly makes you nervous, I mean you got so anxious it made you puke. So I don’t want to stand in your way. And it's not only because I don’t want you to throw up on me.”

“ _Hilarious_ ,” Sasuke complained. “Just stay for a coffee,” he sighed.

“Drinking coffee on an upset stomach is a  _terrible_  idea,” the blonde commented without stopping even for one second.

“Then I will drink tap water or whatever else, it's not like I really care,” Sasuke hissed.

“Why don't you want to tell your mom that you want to call off the wedding?” Naruto asked. “I mean, it seems like your and Sakura’s parents are currently discussing buying a goddamn house, this shit is expensive, Sasuke.”

“Because then my father will know too,” Sasuke barked.

“I don’t think you'll ever able to make him happy,” Naruto mumbled out. “I seriously doubt that he's going to be all like  _ah, son, I'm so proud of you_  after you marry Sakura.”

“I don’t expect him to be,” Sasuke sighed.

“And what more can you give him? You’re already giving him the rest of your life, and he's pretty meh about it,” the blonde commented. “Seriously, he doesn't seem too taken aback by how much power he can exert over you, and you're being his obedient bitch—”

“Watch it,” Sasuke interrupted the idiot.

“ _Fine_ , sorry,” Naruto sighed. “ _But_  there really isn't much more you can give him. I don’t know, would you jump out of the window if he told you he needed you to do it?”

“I,” Sasuke stuttered. He realized he wasn't certain  _what_ he would've done.

“Sasuke, the correct answer is  _no_ ,” Naruto yelled at him.

“He's not going to ask me to jump out of a window,” Sasuke yelled back.

“A year ago you probably would’ve said he wasn’t going to sell your ass to the highest bidder but here we are,” Naruto blurted out. Sasuke shook his head. Naruto was making  _some_ sense. Not much but, nevertheless,  _some_. And it was terrifying. “Pull yourself together,” the blonde pleaded. “He's never going to be happy, and even if you  _could_ make him happy, it's not your fucking responsibility to make him happy,” he yapped.

“I can't just—”

“And this is where you're wrong,” Naruto interrupted him. “You  _can_.”

“I'm going to be sick again,” Sasuke mumbled out, covering his mouth with his hand. Naruto turned towards him, looking panicked.

“Shhh, calm down,” Naruto whispered. “We're on the sixth floor, do you think you can survive a lift?” he inquired. “Because there's nowhere for you to,” he paused, “if you  _can't_ stop, just go ahead, and we'll clean it up but there are cameras everywhere in here, so,” he sighed. Sasuke took a deep breath, trying to force his stomach to calm down.

“I'll be good,” he replied. “Let's just go home,” he pleaded.

“Won't it be better if we use the elevator?” Naruto asked. “Then you'll be home much quicker,” he argued.

“No, let's walk,” Sasuke replied. Naruto nodded and waited for Sasuke to start climbing stairs again. And then he followed him.

“If you’re feeling lightheaded or dizzy, or just different than you usually do, tell me,” Naruto grunted. “I’ve taken care of my fair share of sick people, so,” he paused, “I'm here for you.”

“And now you're a nurse too,” Sasuke muttered.

“ _No_ , but I've been an entertainer, so I've seen people getting sick with stress and anxiety before,” Naruto sighed. “You'd be surprised by how many performers suffer from stage fright but still walk out there and give their best,” he said in a calm voice. Sasuke was suspecting Naruto simply wanted to distract him but it worked. “Or maybe you do,” the blonde mumbled out. “It seems to be true for you too.”

“I don’t have a  _stage fright_ ,” Sasuke protested.

“So you like public speaking?” Naruto asked.

“I don't mind it,” Sasuke answered. “I doubt anybody really  _likes_  it.”

“I kind of do,” Naruto disagreed. “I am a little bit of an attention whore,” he snorted.

“Never would've guessed,” Sasuke breathed out, cracking a faint smile.

“Yeah, I used to get in  _all_ kinds of trouble when I was still growing up,” the blonde revealed. “I came out as gay when I was like thirteen years old,” he said. “And I'm actually bi, so,” he snorted. “Being bi simply seemed like sitting on the fence, and that was boring. I was also going to school wearing some seriously bad make-up, and made people call me Naruko for like a year,” he continued. “I was seriously confused but I've never really stopped to think things through, I just went with whatever felt… interesting. I mean, I should probably have my ass whooped because you know, some people actually struggle with things, and I was all like  _fuck it_ ,  _I want to scandalize the living shit out of people_ ,” he confessed. “People were obviously being assholes about it,” he murmured. “Not my mom, though. She was crazy supportive. Through everything,” he breathed out. “I was beaten up a few times. I beat up some people too. I got into trouble, they didn't,” Naruto said. “Then I decided to be a pothead, and you know, everything is for people but I was kind of overdoing it. I think I was generally overdoing  _everything_ ,” he sighed. “And now we're on your floor,” Naruto chirped. “So I'll leave you to your presentation and throwing up.”

“You came here to collect your plant,” Sasuke reminded him. Naruto drew in a shaky breath. “Were you lying right now or…?”

“What difference does it make?” the blonde asked in a flat voice. “I've said it only to distract you from your nausea.”

“It worked,” Sasuke admitted, unlocking the doors. “And it  _does_ make a difference.”

“I've told you that you shouldn't care about what is real,” Naruto answered, entering the flat. “Where's the plant?”

“Bedroom,” Sasuke answered, taking off his shoes and suit jacket, and sitting on the couch. He watched the blonde walk through his living room and enter the bedroom.

“It's messy in here,” Naruto commented. “By your standards, obviously, I mean, it's still cleaner than  _my_ bedroom, and I cleaned up yesterday,” he added. Sasuke nodded even though the blonde couldn't see him. “Is this your version of crying for help? Because it looks this way. I mean, you haven't made the bed,” he yelled.

“I was busy,” Sasuke shouted back. He heard something clink.

“You left your keys on the floor,” Naruto blurted out, peeking his head out. Sasuke looked away. He's left everything the way it was when Naruto left. Because then it didn't feel like some time has passed. Because then everything was frozen in that exact moment, when Naruto left. “ _My_  keys,” the man added, sounding uncertain.

“They must've fallen there,” Sasuke replied.

“This  _is_ crying for help,” Naruto sighed.

“I wasn’t expecting you,” Sasuke pointed out.

“But you've invited me here,” the blonde argued. “You could've entered the bedroom yourself and made me wait at the doors but you  _wanted_ me to come here and see. You  _want_ me to know how messed up you are right now.”

“What difference does it make?” Sasuke answered with a question.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” Naruto grunted. He left the bedroom without the plant in his hands. Sasuke watched the blonde approach him, and then kneel in front of him, resting his folded arms on Sasuke's knees. “You wanted to talk, so  _talk_.”

“I wanted  _you_ to talk,” Sasuke pointed out. “And what's with this position?”

“It's non-threatening but makes it hard to ignore me,” Naruto blurted out. “And I keep saying you the exact same things, Sasuke. Pay attention.”

“I am paying attention,” Sasuke sighed, rubbing his eyes with both of his hands. “And I keep replying you the exact same things. I can't. I can't disappoint my father.”

“Why?” Naruto inquired. “What's going to happen if he'll be disappointed with you?”

“I,” Sasuke paused, “he’ll either fire me or demote me.”

“And your father's company is  _the only one_ that could be possibly interested in hiring you?”

“No,” Sasuke replied. “But eventually I'm supposed to inherit it, it's my legacy,” he sighed.

“You must want it very much,” Naruto commented. Sasuke shook his head in exasperation.

“It's not about  _wanting_ it,” he gritted through his teeth.

“So you don't even  _want_ it?” the blonde asked.

“I am not going to stop being an heir just because I don’t want something,” Sasuke hissed. “But my father  _can_ make sure I don't inherit the company. And it would be absolutely humiliating.”

“You're getting married because you're worried about what a bunch of strangers is going to think about you?” Naruto mumbled out.

“Some of these  _strangers_  are my family,” Sasuke explained.

“Then make sure your father is going to regret his decision,” the blonde suggested as if it was the easiest thing to do. “Besides, you're in a pretty rough spot right now but neither your father nor your family is here to comfort you,” he commented. “It actually seems like they're the reason why you're in that rough spot in the first place.”

“It’s  _not_ so simple,” Sasuke protested.

“Let's just go through that blackest scenario,” Naruto sighed. “Your father decides to make sure you won't inherit the company, your family finds out, what's next?”

“It's  _humiliating_ ,” Sasuke pointed out. “Everyone will know I'm a disappointment.”

“Everyone will  _know_ that you are a disappointment?” Naruto repeated. “It sounds like you already see yourself as one, and simply don't want people to find out,” he said. Sasuke drew in a shaky breath. “Sasuke,” Naruto murmured, sounding  _sorry_ and  _pitiful_.

“I don’t want them to know,” Sasuke whispered, feeling his throat tightening on him.

“They might  _think_  so but they won't be right,” Naruto grunted. “You have every reason to be proud of yourself, so let yourself be proud,” he pleaded.

“I  _don’t_ ,” Sasuke wanted to reply in a level voice but whimpered instead. He jerked up when he felt Naruto grabbing his hand into his own.

“Why?” he asked. Sasuke shook his head.

“You should leave,” he said. He was barely able to catch his breath. Talking to Naruto  _now_ , when he was already on the edge, was a terrible idea.

“You wanted me to stay,” Naruto sighed. “And I'm not going to leave you alone when you're like this,” he whispered. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to but I'm  _not_ leaving,” he stated. Sasuke tilted his head backwards, glueing his eyes to the ceiling. He blinked, willing his eyes to feel less stingy, so they would burn less, so they wouldn't feel as if they were covered in a thick layer of salt. “Sasuke,” Naruto murmured. “Do you want me to make you some tea, bring you a handkerchief or water, or… seriously, do you need anything?”

“No,” Sasuke breathed out, the word barely able to squeeze out through his throat. He let out a little gasp as Naruto’s fingers wrapped around his wrist. “What are you doing?” Sasuke asked.

“Sasuke,” the blonde whispered, “I will be leaving the country in a month,” he stated.

“I am very well aware of that,” Sasuke snapped.

“This time I wanted to ask if you would come with me,” the blonde sighed, sounding unnaturally tense. “I understand if you don’t want to, I mean… it might not be like… I don’t think you’ll,” he stuttered, “It's not like I have anything to offer, actually,” he confessed and cleared his throat. “To be honest, all I have is me and  _some_ money, and I doubt my next job will be paying my bills as well, as this one is, and—”

“Let me stop you right there,” Sasuke gently interrupted the blonde, sending him an apologetic look. “I won't come with you.”

“…of course you won’t,” Naruto mumbled out. “Sorry, that was,” he paused, “you just looked desperate enough to actually go with it, so I decided to take my chance,” he chirped, raising his head and sending Sasuke a cheeky grin. “I've told you I like scandals,” he blabbered, “and you being the runaway groom would be a pretty big one,” he continued, “so I just had to try. Sorry, it was just a moment of weakness,” he laughed. Sasuke slowly nodded his head. “It was really stupid of me,” Naruto howled. “And now I’m embarrassed beyond belief, so let's pretend I haven't said anything,” he pleaded, giving Sasuke a toothy smile. “And now I've made it about myself, and it should be about  _you_ ,” he sighed. “Sorry, I've screwed up.”

“It’s… alright,” Sasuke assured the other man. Naruto sent him a faint smile, gave his wrists last final squeeze, and stood up to take a seat next to him on the couch.

“I lied, you don't look desperate,” the blonde said, covering his eyes with his forearm. “So in the end, whatever you decide, I'm sure you'll make it work. I mean, you keep saying you'll make everything work, and you've never given anyone any reason to doubt you—”

“Except for when I almost threw up earlier today,” Sasuke sighed.

“I was the only person to see it, and, like you've said before, we have a confidentiality agreement, so if anybody asks, it didn't happen,” Naruto said.

“Sakura knows,” Sasuke pointed out.

“Bonding opportunity,” the blonde replied.

“You've had a rather sudden change of heart,” Sasuke commented.

“I've tried changing your mind, I failed, so now I'm offering you my support,” Naruto murmured.

“So my father—”

“He does know how to make good business decisions,” Naruto admitted. “I guess he treats you more like an investment than a son but as long, as you're fine with it, I'm in no position to try and slander him,” he added.

“I didn't want to talk to my  _best man_ , I wanted to talk to  _you_ ,” Sasuke complained.

“I've told you already that you don't want  _me_ ,” Naruto grunted. “I'm just someone you met when your life was a mess, and if it wasn't for the circumstances, you wouldn't be wasting your breath on me,” he argued. “And it's a smart choice,” he applauded Sasuke. “I mean, you don't want anyone to think you're a disappointment, and I could probably get a degree at being a disappointment, so,” he let out a chuckle that sounded forced.

“I don't think that you're a disappointment,” Sasuke disagreed.

“For what it's worth, I don’t think you're a disappointment either,” Naruto sighed. “I think you're pretty amazing, actually,” he confessed. “Even when you're being ridiculous. If you were like twenty years younger than me, I'd make your parents break up, and marry your mom just so I could adopt you.”

“You're being creepy,” Sasuke decided.

“Ugh, no, ew, it would be a white marriage,” Naruto blurted out.

“You've  _kissed_ me,” Sasuke pointed out.

“Yeah but when  _I_  kissed  _you_ , it didn't mean shit,” the blonde mumbled out. “When  _you_  kissed  _me_ , on the other hand,” he paused and let his voice hang in the air, “I guess it didn't mean shit either,” he sighed. “I shouldn't have brought that up, sorry.”

“You're apologizing a lot today,” Sasuke noticed.

“It's probably a sign that I should stop talking and just go,” Naruto sighed.

“Don’t,” Sasuke breathed out. “You're a good distraction.”

“Yeah, Distraction is my  _other_  stripper name,” Naruto mumbled out. “But you're busy, and I  _shouldn't_ be distracting you. You need to do that presentation. And figure out a whole lot of things,” he commented. “And since none of them involve me, I'm pretty redundant.”

“Why do you keep saying I don’t want  _you_?” Sasuke asked.

“Because I’m a walking mess, Sasuke,” Naruto answered with a game show host's smile. “And you don’t like  _mess_ , so,” he snorted. “Not to mention that associating yourself with me might be seen by your father as the most disappointing thing you've ever done,” he murmured.

“And you're also the reason I've said  _no_ to him,” Sasuke sighed. “One and only.”

“Good, now I can die feeling accomplished,” the blonde whispered.

“I wanted to apologize to him immediately afterwards,” Sasuke confessed.

“Now I feel slightly less accomplished,” Naruto complained. Sasuke turned his head to stare at the blonde, giving him a once-over.

“Could you stay in here for the weekend?" Sasuke asked.

"I could but you are  _busy_ ," Naruto answered.

"I would prepare the presentation, and you can do whatever you want, just stay here," Sasuke breathed out. "Watch some movies, read a book, play something, whatever, just be here," he pleaded.

“So you want me to be your background noise,” Naruto mumbled out. “Won't it be easier for you to focus if I won't be here?”

“It wasn't easier for me when you were gone,” Sasuke sighed.

“Has it occurred to you that  _maybe_ it wasn’t the issue of me being gone but rather the fact that you're being royally screwed over?” the blonde suggested. Sasuke glared at him. “I'll stay,” Naruto relented. “Let me just get my stuff,” he sighed. Sasuke glared again. “I'm  _not_ going to spend the entire weekend wearing  _a suit_ ,” Naruto snapped. “I  _hate_ suits,” he complained.

“You can simply borrow something of mine,” Sasuke offered. “Just go to the wardrobe, and,” he paused, “say what you want me to bring to you,” he corrected himself.

“I'm  _moved_  but I have a packed bag in my car, so I'll be back in like fifteen minutes,” Naruto replied. Sasuke raised an eyebrow in a mute question. “I  _always_ have a packed bag in my car,” the blonde mumbled out. “I seriously wasn’t expecting to stay here, so don't give me that weird look.”

“I wasn't assuming you were prepared to  _stay_   _here_ ,” Sasuke sighed in reply. “It's more like you're ready to run away at a moment's notice,” he commented.

“I'm not running away for two more weeks,” Naruto assured him. “So I'm all yours—”

“You're not mine,” Sasuke disagreed.

“You  _hired_ me for two more weeks,” Naruto reworded his answer after a longer while of awkward silence. “So you're free to do whatever you see fit with my time,” he concluded. “And now I'll be gone for fifteen minutes, so if you want me to buy you something,” he paused, “like painkillers or something to drink, or whatever else, say now.”

“I don’t need anything,” Sasuke replied him. The blonde nodded, and left the apartment. Sasuke took a deep breath. It didn’t feel like  _before_. It felt awkward and forced, and Sasuke was considering telling Naruto to not come after all. Four minutes later, Sasuke let out an exasperated sigh when he tried calling Naruto and heard a surprisingly boring ringtone coming from his bedroom. Well. It seemed he wouldn't be able to spare Naruto climbing the stairs again. To Sasuke’s surprise, he heard the doorbell less than one minute later. He stood up to open the doors and tell the blonde he could leave forever but behind them was  _Sakura_. “Hey,” he mumbled out.

“Where's Naruto?” Sakura asked instead of greeting him.

“He just left,” Sasuke answered.

“I  _know_  he's here, I've seen his car,” the woman insisted. She didn't look happy.

“He just  _left_ ,” Sasuke repeated.

“Then I would’ve met him in the lift,” she snapped. “Sasuke, darling,  _let me in_ ,” she pleaded. Sasuke slowly nodded, only now realizing he's made her stand in the doorway. The woman immediately began scouting his apartment as if she expected to find Naruto hiding in a kitchen cupboard.

“He doesn't use elevators,” Sasuke breathed out. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“We need to have a serious talk about him,” she hissed. Sasuke took a deep breath.

“Why?”

Sakura opened her mouth to probably answer him but that was the precise moment Naruto entered Sasuke’s flat.

“You forgot your phone,” Sasuke spat out before Naruto could say anything. However, the blonde had a big sports bag hanging on his shoulder, and it was clear that he didn't come here just because he forgot something.

“Yeah, I'll just grab it and leave you two alone—”

“No,” Sakura interrupted him. “You're going to stay and explain yourself,” she barked. Naruto sent Sasuke a questioning look, Sasuke shrugged his shoulders to let him know that he too had no idea what was going on.

“What have I done this time?” Naruto inquired, giving Sakura a smile, that looked disgustingly sincere.

“ _Don’t_  smile at me,” the woman hissed. “And stop playing stupid.”

“I don’t think he's playing,” Sasuke chimed in. Naruto gave him an offended look.

“Tell Sasuke, who you really are,” Sakura demanded.

“I have  _no_ idea what you're talking about,” the blonde breathed out. He seemed way calmer than he had the right to be.

“I've seen the photos,” Sakura barked.

“ _What_  photos? My or  _of_ me?”

“You know  _very well_  what I'm talking about,” the woman yelled at him.

“I  _don’t_ ,” Naruto insisted. Sakura raised both of her hands in front of her and tensed her fingers as if she was refraining herself from strangling the blonde. Sasuke moved in front of him.

“Just  _say_  what you're talking about,” he suggested. Sakura let out a loud breath.

“Naruto is a con artist,” she announced. “When I came home today, I found  _this_ in my mailbox,” she continued, reaching into her handbag and showing them a flash drive. “Have a look, Sasuke,” she huffed.

“I don't recommend putting it into your laptop,” Naruto sighed.

“ _Of course_  you don't,” Sakura yapped. “Sasuke, I mean it, you should take a look.”

“Do have a look but I've seen you keeping your important stuff on your laptop, and I'm seriously against inserting something that came gods know from where into it,” the blonde insisted.

“I've already used it and nothing happened,” Sakura snarled at the blonde.

“But Naruto  _does_ have a point,” Sasuke noted.

“Darling, I've just told you that your  _best man_ is a con artist, and you're worried about your  _laptop_ ,” Sakura complained. “There's photos and even a  _movie_ ,” she muttered.

“And what's in there?” Sasuke inquired.

“Your  _best man_ is apparently a serial best man,” Sakura muttered. “It seems he's befriending rich guys to use them,” she growled. “You've said you two had no contact for two years, so I'm guessing he came here only to lull you into a false sense of security as he robs you,” she uttered. “Most of his previous  _best friends_ were looking for him, and it seems they never found him,” she continued. “And now you're letting this viper into your life—”

“I've been called many things but this is literally the first time I've been called a  _thief_ ,” Naruto mumbled out.

“But I'm certain somebody's already called you a liar,” Sakura snarled. “And a whore too, it seems you had busy two days lately,” she barked.

“What?” the blonde mumbled out.

“I have photos with timestamp from the last Thursday and Friday,” she grunted. “ _Seven_ people,” she muttered. “And guess what, Sasuke, your dear friend  _is not_  gay, he fooled around with  _five_ girls.”

“Four,” Naruto corrected her, sounding dead.

“I know he's not gay, he simply didn't want you to try and hook him up with someone,” Sasuke breathed out. He had no idea what more he should and could say.

“Oh, believe me, I'm not going to hook him up with anyone,” Sakura howled. “So?” she barked, holding the flash drive in between her index finger and the thumb.

“What’s the point of me seeing the photos?” Sasuke questioned.

“So you have no doubts,” Sakura answered. “And there's also a movie, masterfully done, really, Naruto, if you go on like this, you'll make the entire porn industry go bankrupt,” she growled.

“Where did you get this?” the blonde mumbled out.

“I've told you already, it was in my mailbox,” Sakura replied. “See, Sasuke? He's not even denying anything,” she argued.

“I fail to see why what Naruto's doing in his free time should bother me,” Sasuke replied.

“It seriously doesn't bother you that people are looking for him?” the woman muttered. “I won't let him hurt you,” she announced.

“I'd never hurt Sasuke,” Naruto blurted out, raising both of his hands up, as if he was afraid he was going to be shot.

“It's not like I expect you to admit that you  _do_ plan to hurt him,” Sakura snarled.

“I've never hurt anybody,” Naruto insisted. “And these men aren't looking for someone, who  _stole_ from them, they say their  _friend_  is missing,” he argued. “If I robbed them, they wouldn't  _all_ try to hide it,” he pointed out.

“But someone is  _clearly_ trying to warn me against you,” Sakura retorted. “And even if it  _wasn’t_  for all these guys, you’re still  _not_ a person I want to be associated with,” she concluded, folding her arms.

“I agree,” Sasuke breathed out. It was probably all Gaara’s doing, and Naruto needed to  _run_. Making him stay here was a terrible idea.

“What,” Naruto mumbled out.

“I agree with Sakura,” Sasuke repeated. “You should leave.”

“ _Thank you_ ,” Sakura sighed. “For a while here I was afraid you weren't going to throw him out.”

“It's nothing personal, Naruto, I simply think that you should leave. For your own good,” Sasuke murmured.

“…fine,” the blonde breathed out. “I'll just… take my phone,” he whispered, passing Sasuke.

“Why is your phone in Sasuke's bedroom?” Sakura questioned in an angry tone.

“I needed to charge it,” Naruto answered, sounding uninterested.

“What's that bag for?” Sakura hissed. “Sasuke, I think the reason you got sick today is  _because_ of Naruto,” she muttered.

“Are you  _seriously_ suggesting I poisoned Sasuke?” Naruto barked.

“You have an access to him, so it would be easy for you to—”

“I thought I was too busy whoring myself out,” Naruto interrupted her.

“He had  _no_ other reason to get sick,” Sakura yelled at him.

“Nobody poisoned me,” Sasuke breathed out.

“Then  _what's_ in that bag?” Sakura demanded to know.

“What do  _you_ think is in it?” Naruto inquired. “Arsenic?”

“Open it,” she ordered.

“Get a warrant,” the blonde muttered, leaving the bedroom and hiding his phone into the bag. “I can give you my current address if you want to get me arrested,” he added.

“Oh, believe me, I  _will_ ,” Sakura barked at him.

“Nobody's arresting anybody,” Sasuke hissed. “Just let him leave,” he sighed. They were both being ridiculous and way too dramatic for his liking.

“Open that bag or I'll upload everything online,” Sakura growled, completely ignoring Sasuke. “And I'll let all these poor guys know where they can find you.”

“Sasuke, you're surrounding yourself with whores, thieves, poisoners and blackmailers,” Naruto blurted out. “And I'm  _three_ of these people,” he snorted, sounding hysterical.

“I know you haven't done anything,” Sasuke sighed. “Calm down, both of you,” he demanded.

“He  _did_ , just take a look at the goddamn evidence,” Sakura howled.

“Alright,” Sasuke replied. Naruto frowned at him but looked away, obviously hurt. Sakura handed Sasuke the flash drive. “Sakura, do you have the copies on your computer? I'd rather  _not_ put this in—”

_“No_ ,” she answered.

“I can drive to your place and we can watch them together,” he offered.

“I haven't copied the files,” she grunted.

“I'd still much rather watch it on  _your_ laptop, since the damage is already done,” Sasuke sighed. “And you should probably—”

“Fine, I'll bring it here,” she relented. “It's in my car, I'll be back in five minutes,” she barked and left. Sasuke took a deep breath and shook his head. Naruto glared daggers at him and stormed towards the exit.

“Aren’t you going to need this?,” he inquired, waving the flash drive. Naruto stopped dead in his track. “I just want to check if  _this_ is the only copy,” Sasuke explained. “I'm not going to watch it,” he promised.

“Why?” the blonde mumbled out.

“I doubt you've given anyone permission to record or make photos,” Sasuke answered. “So I doubt you've wanted  _anyone_ to watch,” he added. “You're in deep shit,” he commented.

“I've put you in a bad position,” Naruto whispered, suddenly sounding far less defensive, and way more apologetic.

“Not willingly,” Sasuke sighed.

“But if I didn’t… I know that seven sounds like a lot but if you take into account the last year, it would still be less than one per month, and I haven't even come, so,” he blurted out and stuttered.

“It's not my business,” Sasuke replied.

“I… know,” Naruto said. “But you're clearly firing me, so this is the last time we talk, and,” he paused, “I guess I'm just making excuses,” he sighed. Sasuke leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “I'm sorry,” Naruto murmured. “I really am,” he confessed.

Sasuke wasn't certain what he could reply. Naruto was going to leave and disappear. Forever. It was the best possible thing for him. And the worst imaginable one for Sasuke. “It's fine,” Sasuke assured him. “It’s not your fault,” he whispered. “Just take care of yourself,” he pleaded. “Don't go to that creep, don't try to negotiate with a terrorist,” he sighed.

“He has hostages,” the blonde replied. “And he could’ve sent this shit to your father and not to your fiancee,” he pointed out. Sasuke shrugged. “See, it could've been way worse.  _But_  it means it can still get much worse,” Naruto stated. “I've screwed up and failed but I can do at least this much.”

“He'll just keep blackmailing you,” Sasuke argued. “You'll never be free unless you just let it happen.”

“The same goes for you, Sasuke,” Naruto replied. “Let that thing you're afraid of happen, and soon you'll see it's not as bad as you’re making it out to be.”

“I can't,” Sasuke answered. Naruto just… didn't understand. To him everything had an easy solution but almost nothing had one in reality. Everything had consequences Naruto was constantly overlooking. Dire consequences.

“And so neither can I,” Naruto replied, sending Sasuke a faint senile. “But don't worry, I'm like a cockroach, I'll survive even the apocalypse, and Gaara is not as serious of a threat,” the blonde commented, his smile widening. “So I know I'll be good. I just want to believe that everything will end well for you too,” he added.

“Just follow Sakura's twitter,” Sasuke sighed in reply. “If you actually want to know, that is,” he grunted. Naruto cleared his throat.

“I will,” he mumbled out. Sasuke was almost too terrified to admit to himself that he actually cared.

“I'll send you your paycheck later today, so—”

“Yeah, I screwed up, so there's no need for a paycheck,” Naruto interrupted Sasuke.

“I'd call it a mishap,” Sasuke disagreed. “You've spent quite some time with me, so… how much is an hour of your time worth?”

“Exactly as much as an hour of your time,” Naruto answered. Sasuke hummed, making the calculations.

“So I’ll send you—”

“It means you don't have to send me anything,” Naruto protested. “We’re even, and if anyone is going to pay, it should be me because it was me, who fucked up.”

“You're being ridiculous,” Sasuke complained.

“No, Sasuke, it's you, who's being ridiculous,” the other man sighed. “You're ignoring every way out,” he murmured. “And choose the most dramatic way to live your life.”

“I don’t do it for the drama,” Sasuke protested. He wanted to say more, mostly because Naruto and he were finally  _talking_ , actually  _talking_ , and, no matter how shameful that admittance was, Sasuke  _needed_  it. Naruto's presence was soothing his constantly, annoyingly wracked nerves. Precisely because Naruto believed, genuinely  _believed_ that he knew an easy solution to every possible problem. Sasuke wanted to say more but he couldn't because Sakura stormed into his flat, looking just as aggravated as when she's left the apartment.

“My laptop,” she announced, giving the blonde an evil eye. Sasuke nodded and took it from her. It wasn't even password-protected. He barely refrained himself from letting out a heavy sigh when he saw that one of their photos together was the background image. He gently inserted the flash drive into the USB port, and was almost immediately greeted with an option to open it and see its contents. Sasuke took a deep breath as he entered one of the folders, names of which were just a series of numbers. He didn't  _want_ to see it. Hearing about Naruto fucking other people was bearable because it seemed rather abstract and unreal. Seeing the photos made it very real. And all Sasuke saw were miniatures. He copied one of the file names and searched Sakura’s laptop for it. Nothing was found. He tried two more files. Still nothing. He opened the recently accessed tab, and entered the last five locations. None of it held the incriminating photos. It seemed that it was safe to assume that Sakura hasn't lied to him. “See?” she huffed.

“Yeah,” Sasuke replied, reaching his hand towards the flash drive.

“Watch the video,” Sakura demanded.

“There's no need,” Sasuke grunted, pulling the flash drive out. “Naruto, this is yours,” he stated, handing the drive to the blonde.

“Why would you let him—”

“Thank you,” Naruto interrupted the woman. “And  _bye_ ,” he added. His voice trembled. Or maybe it was a figment of Sasuke's imagination.

“…bye,” Sasuke replied. He gave the other man a long look. It was the last time Sasuke was seeing him. It was supposed to happen two weeks from now, not  _today_. Today Naruto was supposed to stay here. He was supposed to  _be_  here, doing whatever and bothering Sasuke every now and then, giving his comments, whining about Sasuke not having whatever at home, and sleeping in Sasuke's bed.

“You can't let him leave like this,” Sakura protested in a weak voice. “He could've ruined you, and you're just—”

“Naruto hasn't done anything,” Sasuke sighed. “And I'm busy, so I'll have to excuse myself,” he added. Sakura bit her bottom lip, her green eyes foggy with disappointment. Naruto merely looked away.

“Bye,” the man repeated. “It was… I'm… I'll… I wish you all the best, Sasuke,” he eventually mumbled out and left the flat. Forever.

Sakura stayed inside, looking angry. “He has a crush on you,” she announced. Sasuke couldn't stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“Ten minutes ago you claimed Naruto wanted to  _poison_  me,” he pointed out.

“To ruin the dinner,” she argued. “And he succeeded. He ruined the dinner, he’s ruined our weekend, he's ruining our reputation, he—”

“He's  _gone_ ,” Sasuke breathed out. “He hasn’t ruined anything. I have to get back to work.”

“…promise me he won't come back,” she demanded. Sasuke took a deep breath. It was an easy promise to keep. For all the wrong reasons.

“He's never coming back,” he whispered, mostly to himself. Sakura nodded, grabbed her laptop and finally left.

Sasuke stood up, closed the apartment doors. Then he grabbed his phone, brushed his teeth, and entered the bedroom to lie on the bed. He stopped in the doorway, as if suddenly frozen, when his eyes fell on Naruto's plant. Sasuke sucked in a shaky breath. It was standing there, on his window sill, as if to taunt him. And soon it was going to be dead because Sasuke had absolutely no idea how to keep it alive. He threw himself on the bed, and turned his face away from the accursed plant.

He had thought that this day couldn't have become any worse but he had been wrong, utterly and completely wrong.

It wasn't making any sense. Sasuke had been told Naruto was going to disappear the moment they had met. It was supposed to be like this. It was for the best. It was exactly what Sasuke had wanted. Naruto was annoying. He was making stupid decisions. Treated his stupid job too seriously. Was too dedicated to it and his stupid clients. He also had a knack for saying the dumbest thing imaginable. And Sasuke still had no idea what was and what wasn’t real. If he's ever met the actual Naruto, and if he has… which one was he? The best man? The one, who was constantly annoyed that Sasuke kept on breaking the charade? Or the one, who cared?

Sasuke groaned, pressing his face into the pillow, so hard that he could barely breathe. He was feeling sick and tired. He wanted to fall asleep and never wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if this doesn't spell out christmas, i don't know what does
> 
> also in that last note many of you treated my xmas comment as if my chap was supposed to be a gift to you but I was actually referring to how awkward family gatherings are hahah
> 
> and I'm fucking dead tired but now I have an entire week off to do whatever I want, and I WILL reply to all those comments, if I haven't replied to them immediately it means they were long and I wanted to spend more than five minutes on replying to them, and I have no idea when was the last time I did my nails or eyebrows, and I have neither nice natural nails nor eyebrows, so I look like the "before" of every PARODY of a make-over movie ever produced except I have no chance of ever being the "after" :'D
> 
> tl;dr : I had no time, I suck, sorry, I will do better


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmhmhmhmhmhmm so  
> this chapter has some pretty unpleasant moments  
> the safer part starts off with "Naruto groaned when the shrill sound of his ringtone woke him up" (what an ingenious sentence)

Naruto closed the doors to the apartment he was currently renting, threw the keys and the keycard on the corridor cabinet, and slumped on the floor only so he could hide his face in his hands. It was a disaster. A complete and utter disaster. Pretty much  _everything_ he's had was lost. He lost his job, his privacy, his safe haven, and he's lost Sasuke prematurely. Naruto was supposed to lose him two weeks from now. Not today.

He raised his eyes towards the ceiling, and glared at it as if it was responsible for this disaster. It was probably Gaara's fault. Perhaps he couldn't stand being ignored like this. Perhaps Naruto's been too irresponsible, too blunt, too blatantly uninterested. And so, perhaps Naruto's deserved everything that's happened to him. It all started as his fault. Maybe it had to end like this too, so it could  _never_  stop being his fault.

But if it was his fault, he should've been the only one to suffer because of this. There was no need to hurt anymore people, and it seemed that Gaara was willing to attack all of Naruto's clients. Including Sasuke. Maybe even  _especially_ Sasuke unless Gaara's sent his care packages to  _all_ of the previous Naruto's clients' partners.

The blonde gasped in horror, and rushed towards his old, rarely used laptop, which didn't even  _have_  an access to the internet, to see just how incriminating Gaara's evidence was. Naruto plugged in the drive and patiently waited for the computer to realize that something’s happened. Then he started looking through the files.

The first folder contained photos of Naruto's previous clients. Some were from bachelor parties, some from weddings. It was always followed by a screenshot of a 'missing' ad. Naruto wasn't certain whether he should or shouldn't be happy about the fact that the missing ad always used his real name.

The second folder was filled with the photos of Naruto’s last  _partners_. Some were manmade, some looked like security footage. The manmade looked as if someone was following Naruto at all times, documenting his every move. Except for the photos of a guy Naruto's slept with on Friday, so on the second day of his fuckfest. These were  _all_ security footage. And then there was a video of him and Naruto fucking. A POV video.

Naruto leaned backwards, feeling his stomach contents travel towards his throat. He's slept with the guy who was spying on him. He's sucked the guy off, and then let him fuck his ass. Naruto took a deep breath, fought his impeding nausea for a few more seconds, and then sprinted to his bathroom, deciding he needed to give up.

An hour later he emerged from there, already showered, scrubbed clean. Nevertheless, he still felt dirty and used. Random hookups were supposed to be just that,  _random_ hookups. That guy wasn't random, and Naruto had no idea who had hit on whom that night.  _Maybe_  it was just Naruto noticing a guy constantly following him with his eyes, so he decided to interpret it in the stupidest way imaginable. Or maybe it was all planned.

If it was, there should've been another person, someone to make photos of the honeypot and Naruto together but no such photos were on the drive. The blonde opened a security footage still of him and the guy, and studied his face. He wasn’t certain if he's ever saw him before but he knew he'd recognize the guy the second he saw him.

And he needed to have a serious talk with Gaara. He wasn’t certain  _what_ exactly he was going to say or do but he knew he had to do  _something_. He booked himself a plane ticket and started packing his bag.

* * *

 

When he arrived at the accursed hotel, it was pretty much night already but he was let in anyways. And this time he was led to what seemed to be Gaara's suite, and not his office. The same security lady as before opened the doors with as much enthusiasm as before, and shoved Naruto inside with as much grace as before. Despite its familiarity, it wasn’t exactly soothing because the last time didn't end the way Naruto envisioned it to.

“Naruto,” Gaara breathed out. He was wearing a suit. He was always wearing a suit. It was the middle of the night, he probably had been sleeping, and yet, when he learned that Naruto came to see him, he decided to put on a  _suit_. There was a time when Naruto was finding it  _charming_. Charming that someone was this insecure and socially inept that he couldn't imagine facing other people while being dressed like a normal human being. 

There was fresh smoke in the air, so Gaara must've been smoking. Naruto supposed the smoke detectors in here and the office were turned off. Gaara smoked a lot. And suffered from insomnia. And was a walking mess. Naruto had this pathological interest in messed up people.

“You broke our deal,” Naruto snapped at him.

“You weren't replying to my messages,” Gaara replied without even batting an eye. There was no sign of guilt or shame on his face, he only looked  _sad_ but he  _always_ looked sad. It seemed he was sad for all the wrong reasons.

“I was sending you a text  _every single day_ , just like I've said I would,” Naruto barked at him.

“It was the same text every single day,” the redhead noted.

“I've told you it was going to be like this,” Naruto snarled. “You had  _no_ right to—”

“I wanted to stay in touch with you,” Gaara interrupted him. “Love needs to be nurtured, and you were focusing on that other guy too much,” he complained. “You hurt me.”

“Are you out of your mind?!” Naruto wailed. “ _This_ isn't love, this is blackmail—”

“Because this is the only way for me to reach you—”

“I don’t owe you anything,” Naruto yelled at the man. “I don’t owe you any affection nor care, no  _anything_ ,” he insisted. “All you're doing is fucking  _making me_  come here and bargain, and that's all there is—”

“Let's bargain then,” Gaara sighed. “What do you have to offer?”

“Let's start with you, shall we?” Naruto hissed back. “You've hired a guy, who was  _following_ me, making  _photos_  of me without my consent, who  _fucked me_  when I didn't know he was only after some footage, and he recorded it all,” he muttered in one breath. “Then you've sent it to Sakura. You've broken our previous agreement, our deal, and the law,” he gritted through his teeth. “Give me  _one_ reason why I shouldn't report you—”

“Because then everyone will know what you are,” Gaara answered. “So all of your previous clients will be exposed,” he continued in a calm voice. “You don’t want that, do you?”

“…how dare you call  _this thing_  love?” Naruto mumbled out.

“You know nothing about love,” Gaara complained. “I  _need_ you.”

“But you don’t care about what  _I_  need,” Naruto blurted out.

“ _You_  need  _me_ ,” Gaara whispered.

“No, I need to feel safe, and you keep fucking threatening me,” Naruto snapped.

“Does  _he_ make you feel safe?” Gaara inquired.

“Who?” Naruto asked back, very well aware of whom Gaara was talking about.

“You  _know_ who,” the man sighed, sounding tired. “Well, whatever you  _think_ you feel, it's not true. He can't keep you safe. Only I can.”

“Probably because all you need to do is to stop being the threat,” Naruto howled.

“I  _can_ stop,” Gaara agreed. “Just stay with me.”

“I still have two more weeks,” Naruto protested.

“He's already fired you,” the thin redhead pointed out. “You weren't able to keep  _him_ safe, hm?”

“I,” Naruto paused, suddenly realizing that Gaara was right. “Two weeks,” he mumbled out. “I've promised you two weeks. Will you leave him alone?”

“Depends,” Gaara answered. “Right now it seems like you're doing it for  _him_ ,” he whispered. “I'm not going to be your consolation prize,” he complained. “You need to understand that I'm the only one for you,” he murmured.

“There  _is_ only you,” Naruto grunted.

“Not yet,” Gaara disagreed. “But soon there will be,” he said. “So, by all means, feel free to stay here or in another suite,” he offered after clearing his throat. “And in two weeks time we will be together,” he made his ominous promise.

“And what are  _you_ going to do?” Naruto questioned. “You wanted us to be together  _now_ —”

“I thought you'd accompany me on a business trip but it seems like you still need to figure out some things,” Gaara sighed. “It doesn’t matter, though. What are two weeks compared to an eternity?”

“ _What_ are you going to do?” Naruto repeated the question. “If you’re planning to threaten Sasuke now,  _after_ he's already fired me—”

“I don't plan to threaten him,” Gaara protested. “I don’t  _care_ about him,” he clarified.

“If you’re going to threaten him, I’ll disappear,” Naruto muttered. “And I  _swear_ you won't get to see me again—”

“You're not going to achieve anything by being like this,” the redhead complained as if he was scolding an unruly child. “But you may rest assured, I don’t plan to threaten him.”

“You better not because if you will, I'll—”

“You'll disappear,” Gaara interrupted him. “And therefore you'll force me to expose you, what will ruin quite a few perfectly good marriages,” he murmured.

“I'll sue you, and you  _know_  I have a pretty solid case,” Naruto threatened the other man.

“You can't sue me if you disappear,” Gaara pointed out in a calm voice. “You'll have to come here.”

“You'll have to pay a hefty fine,” Naruto barked. “Maybe you'll even end up in jail.”

“It won't turn back time, the damage will be already done,” Gaara sighed. “And I've told I'm beyond the point of caring about what happens to me,” he added. “All I want is  _you_ ,” he confessed.

“You won't have me,” Naruto whispered in reply. “Maybe, I repeat,  _maybe_ there was a chance you'd get together with me but right now, after all this shit, it's impossible,” he informed the redhead. “If you  _loved_ me, you would've let me go.”

“You don’t understand love,” Gaara sighed. “You've never loved anyone. I  _need_ you. I need you more than—”

“And you don’t care about  _my_ needs,” Naruto snapped. “You blackmailed me, threatened me, made me lose my latest contract, pretty much  _ruined_ my life—”

“You'll have a new life. With me,” the redhead murmured. “You'll need to make some sacrifices too—”

“And what sacrifices have  _you_ made?!” Naruto questioned.

“My time, my money… I'm ready to ruin my life too. For  _you_. Nobody else will ever give you as much,” Gaara stated.

“I've never wanted this much,” Naruto yelled at him. Suddenly, he felt a wave of nausea and guilt washing over him. He did want this much. From Sasuke. He had claimed it was for Sasuke’s good, and maybe it even  _was_  but he had no right to ask for this much. And he had no right to rile Sasuke up like that only to demand from him to abandon everything he knew and cared about in a matter of mere days. He had no right to… Sasuke had hired him to pose as his best man. Nothing more. And Naruto had overstepped every boundary there was. “I'm leaving,” he mumbled out.

“You'll come here in two weeks. Like you've promised,” Gaara replied as if he was merely stating a fact. “Or sooner,” he added. “Perhaps you'll appreciate what I'm willing to do for you,” he sighed. “I love you,” he whispered as Naruto turned on his heel to leave the suite.

“You don’t,” Naruto replied in a hushed voice, closing the doors behind himself. He headed towards the staircase. Less than a minute after he left Gaara's suite, the security woman approached him to lead him out. Naruto took a deep breath as he left the hotel. He was screwed. He screwed up.

He took out his latest cellphone and stared at the screen for what felt like an eternity. Normally, he would've changed the SIM card already. This time, he needed… a way to contact Gaara. Naruto sighed. He could've simply added the man's number all over again and text him to let him know who he was. Naruto breathed out through his nose and unlocked his phone to write a text.

_Sorry for everything_

He stared at it, studying every word, syllable, letter. It didn't really explain anything. It meant nothing. And he was supposed to disappear from Sasuke’s life. For good.

Sasuke didn't need him to screw everything up for him all over again.

* * *

 

Naruto groaned when the shrill sound of his ringtone woke him up. His mouth was parched, his throat felt as if someone shoved a horse dildo in it, and left it there for an entire night, his head was pounding, and he felt as if he suffered from the worst hangover ever but he hasn't drunk anything during the last few days. The last time he drank anything was during that dinner with Sasuke's lovely family, and that was four days ago. And so it probably meant that Naruto was sick, and he hated being sick. Especially since there was no special reason for him to be sick except for the fact that he had  _time_ to be sick, so his body must've decided to use this rare opportunity.

Naruto cursed under his breath as the phone kept on ringing. And it was his private one at that. This one was almost always quiet.

“Good morning,” he mumbled out, rubbing his eyes.

“Don't  _good morning_ me,” Karin barked at him. “It's  _not_ a good morning.”

“And this is why I'm wishing you one,” Naruto murmured. “What's going on? I hope you're not in trouble because of me? If you are, I’ll do my best to fix it, I could probably get you a better job if—”

“You  _couldn't_ ,” the woman interrupted him. “Where's Sasuke?”

“I… I don't know,” he answered. “What's going on?” he asked, sitting up on the bed, and feeling as if a wrecking ball flew straight into the back of his head. Both because he was probably sick, and because he was worried sick. If Sasuke went missing… it was his fault. Nobody else’s, only his. “Karin, what's wrong?” he repeated the question.

“He hasn’t appeared at work,” she replied after a few seconds of what had to be hesitation. “He went on a business trip on Monday, and, from what I know, he  _returned_  but then he… he stopped coming to work. He hasn't called me, and he's not picking up his phone,” she said. “Yesterday, when his father asked me where he was I lied because I thought he needed a rest, but it's never happened before, and I shouldn't have lied to him, now we have no idea where he is, and—”

“Slow down,” Naruto pleaded.

“What if he went missing or someone kidnapped him, or—”

“Where are you?”

“At work, who do you think is doing his job?” the woman barked at him as if he was supposed to know it.

“What places have you checked? I'll help you look for him, so calm down,” he promised.

“None,” she answered, sounding guilty.

“If I won't find him in two hours, we're going to tell the police that he's gone,” he said. He was trying to sound calm to not stress her anymore but his voice was tense anyways. Sasuke was gone. Missing. He wasn't picking up his phone. He was… nobody knew where he was. “Don't worry,” he whispered. He wasn’t certain whether he was talking more to her or to himself. “He probably just needed a rest, he's been pretty stressed lately, so… there's no reason to worry,” he croaked.

“…yeah,” she agreed, clearly not believing him but wanting to. “No reason to worry,” she repeated. They both remained silent for another minute or so. “…find him,” she pleaded. “I just want to hear that he's alright,” she confessed, sounding as if she was on the verge of tears. He wasn’t used to her being so vulnerable. So openly vulnerable. She was usually acting all tough, never crying, always ready to take on the entire world.

“I'll find him,” he replied, hoping he wasn’t lying. “I’ll do everything I can to find him,” he added. This time he was telling the truth.

“Do it. If you come here, I'll give you the keys to his flat,” she whispered and hung up on him. Naruto pretty much jumped out of his bed. There was no time to lose. He moved to put on some clothes, simultaneously calling Sasuke. He was responded with an automatic message informing him that the number he was currently calling was unavailable. It could've meant that Sasuke was currently talking to someone else. Or that his battery died. Or that his phone was currently at the bottom of the ocean.

He let out a loud curse, grabbing his car keys and rushing out of the apartment.

“Gaara,” he snarled into the phone. The man had picked up after the first signal.

“Nar—”

“Where's Sasuke?” he interrupted the man.

“Is  _this_ why you're calling me?” Gaara inquired.

“Yes,” Naruto answered. “If you've done  _anything_  to him, I'll literally destroy you—”

“Goodbye, Naruto,” Gaara interrupted him with a heavy sigh. “Have a nice day. I'm waiting for you to come here. I've made some plans—”

“I don’t care about your plans,” Naruto hissed. “Where is Sasuke?”

“Goodbye,” Gaara repeated and hung up on him. 

Naruto let out a frustrated groan as he ran down the stairs, frantically trying to call the redhead again but the man kept on rejecting his calls. He took a deep breath, and tried calling Sasuke again only to be greeted with the same message. He hurried towards his car, jumped inside, and enabled his hands-free set, hoping Sasuke was going to call him back after he'd be finished with that other phone call. Because it had to be another phone call. It was the most optimistic explanation.

Naruto drove to Sasuke's apartment complex, having made a quick stop at Sasuke’s office to grab the keys from Karin. He learned that starting today Karin too was constantly being informed that the number was unavailable. And this meant that Sasuke was either having the longest phone conversation Naruto's heard of or, what was way more probable, he  _wasn't_  using his phone.

The blonde sucked in a shaky breath, and ran through eleven flights of stairs, ignoring the pain and tiredness, and how difficult it was to catch a breath. He knocked on the doors to Sasuke's flat, panting and resting his head against the pleasantly cold wall.

There was no answer.

Naruto made a frustrated, miserable noise. He had no idea where else he could be looking for Sasuke. He probably wasn’t at his family house since his father had inquired about Sasuke's absence from work. It was almost certain that he wasn't at Sakura’s because… Sasuke wouldn't have stayed there for so long. He wasn’t at his work, and… Naruto was guessing that he wasn’t at Itachi's grave either because he couldn't have been there for so long, it was way too cold for that.

And so, this disappearance either involved Gaara (it probably wasn’t a different kidnapper because nobody asked for a ransom, and yes, Sasuke could be annoying, but he's never been so annoying that it would warrant… this) or it was Sasuke running away from everything he had considered his responsibility. Alone. Without Naruto. The blonde took a deep breath and unlocked the doors, hoping to find at least some clues.

He found Sasuke instead.

The man was standing just a few feet away from the doors and was looking like a personification of misery. His clothes—some sweatpants and a t-shirt—were crumpled, his hair was tangled and matte, his face was puffy and pale except for his eyes, which were reddish, and he was just standing there, as if it was the first time he's seen another human being, hugging himself, like a doe that was about to be hit by a truck.

The flat was dark, no lights were on, all the drapes and shades were drawn, and it kind of looked like a place a wounded cat would be hiding in.

“Sasuke,” Naruto uncertainly mumbled out. “What's wrong?”

“Go home,” the man rasped back.

“I'm not going to leave you alone,” Naruto replied, carefully weighing every word. “Let me just text Karin and tell her you're alive and… that you're alive,” he said. Sasuke looked away at the mention of Karin. Naruto felt as if he was talking to someone, who could literally blow up, and this was why Naruto's moves were slow. He carefully typed his message, hit send, and put the phone away as if it was a weapon.

“Go home,” Sasuke insisted, slowly turning away from Naruto and heading deeper into the flat. Naruto followed him, walking a few feet behind to not startle him. And then Sasuke shook his head and entered the wardrobe, closing the doors behind himself. Naruto heard the man slumping on the floor and pulling a shitload of clothes off the hangers and onto the floor.

“Do you  _seriously_  think I won't follow you there?” Naruto hissed, opening the doors and entering the small, closed-off space. He took a deep breath and closed the doors behind himself even though his phone was currently lying on the corridor floor, and Sasuke's was probably dead.

“Go away,” Sasuke croaked.

“What's wrong?” Naruto repeated his question, kneeling in front of the other man. Now that they were so close, he could see that Sasuke looked shittier than ever. As if he wasn't sleeping. At all. And eating. He was maybe drinking, and at one point he probably had showered but he still didn't look too… fresh. Naruto put his hand on Sasuke’s knee and gave it a small rub. Then he remembered that Sasuke wasn't a fan of being comforted like this, so he removed his hand from the other man's leg, and let out another long sigh.

“I've already fired you,” Sasuke muttered.

“And yet I’m here,” Naruto murmured back. He could swear he felt the oxygen deplete. Keeping his voice free of any strain was more difficult than he had initially thought. And when he was leaned forward like this, his headache was killing him. “Talk to me, Sasuke. What's wrong?”

“Karin made you come here,” Sasuke hissed. “Only she has the keys, so—”

“I would’ve been looking for you no matter who told me you were MIA,” Naruto sighed. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and looked away. “What's wrong?”

“You keep asking the same question,” the man grunted. “Take a hint.”

“Probably because I want to know the answer,” Naruto retorted. The light went out, so he flailed his arms. “It’s obvious that something did happen, I mean you're a hot mess,” he said.

“I'm not  _your_ mess,” Sasuke hissed.

“You're sitting in a glorified closet, you clearly haven't seen a brush since the last time I was here, and you need a hug or a shot of booze, and probably a change of scenery too,” Naruto complained. “And I  _want_  you to be my mess,” he confessed. “So let me,” he pleaded. Sasuke made a noise that sounded like a whimper. The light went out again but this time Naruto let the suffocating darkness envelop him.

“He knows everything,” Sasuke stated in a shaky voice.

“What do you mean?” Naruto asked.

“…it doesn't matter,” Sasuke sighed. “Forget it. You don't have to be here. And you probably shouldn't.”

“That confidentiality agreement is still in effect,” Naruto replied. “What does  _he_ know? And whom do you mean? Gaara? Your father? Someone else?”

“…Gaara,” Sasuke answered, sounding uncertain. Naruto bit the inside of his cheek to not blow up. It was all his fault. The state Sasuke was in, the mess,  _everything_. All because Naruto was careless. “But I'll manage, so  _leave_.”

“Like I’ve said before, you're hiding in a glorified closet,” Naruto hissed in reply. “Your flat is a mess,  _you_ are a mess, nobody knew where you were, and you're clearly  _not_ managing anything.”

“He wanted me to expose you and leak the photos and the video,” Sasuke snapped.

“Did he blackmail you?” Naruto mumbled out. “I'm sorry, it's all my fault,” he rasped. He was feeling weak and sick. As if he was about to pass out. His heart was pounding in his chest, he could hear his blood rushing through his temples and ears, and he was lightheaded. He took a few shallow breaths. He wanted to leave. But he couldn't leave Sasuke like this.

“He only said that whether he was going to accept the offer or not depended on my answer,” the man whispered. “I refused,” he added.

“Wait,” Naruto mumbled out. “That business trip… you were giving that presentation to  _Gaara_?” he questioned.

“Yes,” Sasuke answered. “And the contract would've been worth more than I earn in seven years,” he sighed, sounding bitter.

“Sorry,” Naruto whispered. “I'm guessing your father wasn't too happy—“

“Gaara called him while I was still there, asking him to send someone more competent because, apparently, I can't even answer a simple question,” Sasuke muttered. “And then he said that he was surprised by my  _loyalty_  to you because nothing serious has ever happened between us. And then he gave me a presentation of his own,” Sasuke hissed. Naruto shook his head, his throat tightening, so he was almost wheezing. It was all his fault. “He already knows that you're here,” Sasuke informed him in a bitter tone. “He knows that Sakura gave the flash drive to me, and that I gave it to you. He has photos of this all. And of us sleeping together. He's seen everything there was to see,” he said.

“But  _how_ , this is the eleventh floor, so—”

“I don’t know,” Sasuke barked back. “Maybe a drone. All the photos from here were taken through the windows, and frankly, I don’t care,” he snapped. Naruto hummed under his nose. It would explain why all the drapes and shades were drawn.

“I'm taking you to my place,” Naruto announced. “Pack some clothes and whatever else you need, we’ll take a shower at my place, and then I'm driving you to my mom—”

“What?” Sasuke interrupted him.

“It's a pretty good place to hide,” Naruto promised him. “I'll call Karin and tell her that you're sick or whatever, and—”

“I need to attend the wedding rehearsal,” Sasuke reminded him in a pained tone. “And what's the point? He's going to see everything anyways. We were never alone, and we won't  _ever_  be alone again,” he insisted. “It's too late, so give up already,” he whispered, sounding exhausted.

“Sasuke,” Naruto sighed. “You do know that you could've agreed to what Gaara's proposed, right? I wouldn't feel betrayed or anything, so—”

“I didn't  _want_ to agree,” Sasuke interrupted him. “And I have no fucking clue how Sakura can live like this,” he muttered.

“…what?” Naruto mumbled out.

“Everyone always knows her every move,” Sasuke clarified. “There's only one person, who knows mine, and I'm freaking out,” he complained.

“But it's a pretty malicious person,” Naruto pointed out. “Can we come out?” he asked. “I mean, I think you went in here to hide from  _me_  but I'm inside anyways, so—”

“You'll leave, though,” Sasuke replied. “Faster than if we were outside.”

“I'm leaving with you or not at all,” Naruto sighed, sitting next to Sasuke on the floor and crumpled clothes. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. When it didn't work, he started counting backwards from one thousand.

“Why?” Sasuke murmured his question after a longer while of silence. A really long one. Naruto reached three hundred twenty eight when Sasuke finally spoke up.

“He's fucked up,” Naruto answered. “I had no idea how much—”

“That's not what I was asking about,” Sasuke muttered.

“Then what were you asking about?” the blonde grunted. “Can we leave already—”

“I'm not holding you hostage,” Sasuke replied, a growing impatience audible in his shaky voice. “Why are you here?”

“Because,” Naruto started and paused, pondering over the answer. Sasuke was no longer his client. If it was only about Karin, she already knew that he was at his apartment. If it was about not leaving Sasuke alone, Naruto could've called his mother and ask her to come here. “Because I want to,” he concluded.

“You want to sit in a  _glorified closet_?” Sasuke questioned, letting out a noise that sounded as if it was half sob, and half snort. He moved his arms, the light was on again, and Naruto saw him making the quotation marks with his fingers. There were wet trails on his cheeks. Naruto closed his eyes and scuttled closer to Sasuke.

“Not necessarily in closet,” Naruto replied. “But this is where you are,” he added. “So I have no choice.”

“You can leave,” Sasuke disagreed.

“Yeah,” Naruto admitted. “But you're  _here_ ,” he murmured, pressing his face against his linked forearms.

“I'm here because I wanted you to  _leave_ ,” Sasuke whispered back. “So what makes you  _want_  to be here?”

“If you wanted to have a meaningful discussion with me, you've chosen the worst possible circumstances,” Naruto complained. “I mean… if I wasn’t focusing on  _you_ , I would've been freaking out way more, and it's already hard to concentrate,” he whined. “So let's leave,” he pleaded. “All the shades and curtains are drawn, and—”

“I'm not sitting here to hide from  _him_ ,” Sasuke interrupted him. The darkness enveloped them yet again.

“Yes, you're here to hide from  _me_ ,” Naruto sighed. “So  _why_ are you hiding from me? Except for the fact that I've ruined your life, of course.”

“Because,” Sasuke snapped, and then suddenly paused. “I don’t know,” he realized, his voice cracking. “You can't be here. And you're going to leave,” he mumbled out. Naruto opened his mouth to reply but then they heard a scratch. “Did you close the doors?!” Sasuke yelled at him, suddenly standing up and practically running out, throwing the wardrobe doors open in the process. Naruto followed after the other man, who was currently trying to lock his apartment and fighting against his shaking hands.

“When was the last time you went outside?” Naruto blurted out. Sasuke shook his head in frustration, and slumped on the floor after he finally managed to lock them up. “When was the last time you  _ate_?” the blonde asked. “I  _know_ there was nothing to eat in here, and if you haven't went outside to buy something, then you'd have to order some food, and,” he paused, going into the kitchen and taking a glimpse into the garbage bin. “You haven't ordered anything either,” he said. He heard that Sasuke replied  _something_  but the words were too quiet and unintelligible, and so Naruto left the kitchen and returned to the other man. And at this point Sasuke was even more of a mess than before, sitting on the floor, pressing his back against the wall as if he wanted to become one with it, his face hidden under his arms and fingers. “I'm not going to  _leave_ ,” Naruto whispered.

“I don’t care,” Sasuke half barked, half sobbed in reply.

“We can stay here for as long, as you want,” Naruto said. “ _But_  I'm either going to order some food or go grocery shopping because I haven't eaten breakfast and I'm starving already, so I don’t even want to imagine how  _you_ feel, like, it's a miracle that you're still alive,” he blurted out.

“It’s fairly normal,” Sasuke disagreed.

“The other, the  _better_ IMHO option is that you’re packing yourself, then we're making a short stop at my place, so I can pack myself too, in the meantime I'll buy us some food and I'm not certain about you but I do need a shower, and then we'll drive to my mom,” Naruto murmured. “She lives in the countryside and there's no signal in there. The only way to contact her is to call her home line,” he continued. “Or send her an email but she still uses DSL, and it's one of the slower ones,” he added with a smile.

“So she lives in the twentieth century,” Sasuke muttered.

“ _So_  if there really is someone with a drone, all they'll be able to do is flying it around until my mom shots it down,” Naruto barked back. “And she owns enough land to make it impossible to simply walk towards the house and make pictures like this. So it’s better.”

“Your mom has a BB gun?” Sasuke snorted.

“Yes, maybe it's not a  _bow_  but it's fun anyways,” Naruto snapped at him. “And if you keep laughing, I'll borrow it and shoot  _you_ ,” he warned the other man, who let out another short laugh. Naruto stared at him, refraining himself from smiling.

“I can't leave anyways,” Sasuke replied. “I need to attend the wedding rehearsal, I've told you already.”

“Tell your mom you want to call it all off,” Naruto pleaded, kneeling in front of Sasuke.

“I can't,” Sasuke stated, shaking his head.

“The wedding rehearsal is in three days,” Naruto whispered after a short hesitation. “That's plenty of time to drive you back here,” he said.

“A few days ago you didn't want me to ask you about your parents, and now you want to drive me to your mom,” Sasuke noticed.

“She's a nice person. Well, unless you piss her off,” Naruto huffed.

“I'm not saying she's not,” Sasuke hissed. “But is it really a good idea to drive your client to—”

“You've fired me already,” Naruto interrupted him. “You're no longer my client. I'm here because I want to,” he stated. Sasuke slowly blinked his eyes as he stared at Naruto, his eyes wide open, as if it was the first time he saw him.

“Don't say anything you'll want to take back,” Sasuke pleaded in a trembling whimper. Naruto let out a small sigh, and leaned forward until his pounding head rested on Sasuke’s shoulder.

“I'm here because I want to,” he repeated.

“Karin made you come here,” Sasuke disagreed, his voice slowly breaking. Naruto gently put his hands on the other man's sides, and pulled himself closer.

“But she didn’t make me  _stay_ here,” he pointed out in a hushed, calm tone. “Come on, Sasuke, we'll go away for a short while, you'll pull yourself together and it'll be better,” he added just as quietly. Sasuke was falling apart before his very eyes, the stress of the last few… days? Weeks? Moths?  _Years_ …? No matter how long it's lasted, it was all coming back at him in crushing waves, and it was clear that he wasn’t able to take it anymore. Naruto himself felt like crying, feeling sick both physically and emotionally, tired, ashamed, pretty much helpless. This was why he wasn't too surprised when he felt a warm drop falling on the nape of his neck. “Sasuke,” he murmured in a soothing voice, embracing him tighter. Seeing him like this was… painful to say the least. “I want to give you everything you need to feel better. Just tell me what you need and we’ll think of something,” Naruto whispered, his voice muffled by Sasuke's shoulder and his quiet sobs as he was still trying to fight it.

“I don’t need anything,” the man said. His voice broke in the middle of that short sentence sheen he needed to inhale. He sounded as if he was choking.

“I'm yours for as long, as you'll want me,” Naruto promised. Sasuke let out yet another sob in reply.

“I'm pathetic,” he complained. “I'm sorry, I'll—”

“You're not pathetic,” Naruto disagreed, raising his head and finally giving Sasuke's face a closer look. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, the bags underneath them were grayish purple, his cheeks were wet with tears, and he was quite obviously fighting against his facial muscles and trying to stop himself from frowning. “Most people are ugly criers, Sasuke,” Naruto murmured, wiping the other man’s cheek with his finger. He instinctively licked it off, tasting mostly salt. “And nobody's taking any photos right now—”

“Shut up,” Sasuke protested.

“Sure,” Naruto agreed, lying his head back on Sasuke’s shoulder and resting his entire weight on him. “Tell me when you'll get numb,” he added, and closed his eyes. Sasuke’s hands were lying lifelessly on the floor.

“You're heavy,” Sasuke muttered as his arm slowly, carefully landed on Naruto’s back. “And you feel hot,” he whined.

“I might be sick,” Naruto admitted.

“But you're here,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“And I’m not going anywhere,” Naruto agreed.

“You wanted to spend some  _quality time_ with Gaara,” Sasuke reminded him.

“Fuck him,” Naruto blurted out. “We’ve already had a few agreements, and he broke them all.”

“So you’re going to—”

“Sue the living shit out of him,” Naruto said. “People might find out you've  _hired_ me, though,” he whispered. “I'll try to keep the damage under control but—”

“It's fine,” Sasuke interrupted him. “I think it's already been worse than if people knew I hired you.”

“Sorry,” Naruto mumbled out. “You can demand compensation from me if it helps anything,” he murmured. “I'll be making  _him_ pay for it anyways, so—”

“I find it hard to care about stupid things right now,” Sasuke replied. He was slowly, gradually calming down.

“We’ll come back to it later,” the blonde promised. “I mean, you'll be suing me for damage to your reputation and for screwing up, so it's going to be a nice sum of money,” he continued.

“Not now,” Sasuke sighed. Naruto promptly shut up and lied on the other man more fully, pretty much forcing him to lie on the floor. “You can't drive like this,” Sasuke commented few minutes later, when his hand landed on the blonde's forehead.

“You can drive,” Naruto relented.

“To your mom,” Sasuke muttered, sounding embarrassed.

“To my mom,” Naruto agreed.

“To do what exactly?” the other man questioned as he moved his hand on Naruto’s hair.

“Rest, gather strengths, avoid creepy stalkers,” Naruto answered. “It's almost winter, so there isn't too much to do,” he admitted. “It's way more fun in summer—”

“I’m not certain I'm interested in  agritourism anyways,” Sasuke whispered.

“You'll change your mind,” Naruto yawned. Sasuke was warm, and now he wasn’t trembling anymore. It wasn’t the most comfortable place or position to lie, and he was hungry, and yet he could  _finally_ feel the stress leaving his body. “If you'll agree, I'll take you there in August, and it's awesome in August because—”

“It's November,” Sasuke muttered.

“Yeah, and a few months later it'll be  _August_ ,” Naruto whispered. “It's great in July too but that's when your birthday is, and you'll probably want to spend it with your family, so—”

“This is just fever talking, isn't it,” Sasuke breathed out.

“It's not,” Naruto disagreed. “But now we’ll go there for a few days, and then I'll drive you back here, so you don't miss that wedding rehearsal, and then… I have no idea what will happen after that,” he admitted.

“And yet you’re making plans for  _August_ ,” Sasuke muttered, letting out a micro snort.

“Everything will be sorted out by then,” Naruto pointed out.

“I guess,” Sasuke agreed. “Get off me, I need to pack,” he demanded. Naruto made a happy noise, and immediately stood up, ignoring how dizzy it made him feel. “And make yourself some tea, you look like shit,” Sasuke ordered.

“You're the one to talk,” the blonde commented, watching Sasuke slowly standing up. “Most people would offer to  _make_   _me_  a tea,” he whined.

“I'm not most people,” Sasuke sighed, approaching a mirror and giving himself a scrutinizing look.

“That you’re not,” Naruto admitted so quietly that Sasuke couldn't possibly hear him. “Yeah, you're a jerk,” he barked much louder and rushed towards the kitchen.

“And while you're at it, make me some coffee,” Sasuke shouted.

“A  _real_ jerk,” Naruto howled, taking out two cups. “Who doesn't have any sugar,” he muttered, rummaging through the cabinet.

“I wasn’t expecting you to come,” Sasuke yelled.

“Yeah, yeah, you've had over two weeks to buy some sugar and yet there’s none,” Naruto blurted out.

“If you  _really_ needed it, you would've bought some yourself,” Sasuke grunted. “Besides, back then you were,” he paused as he walked up and stood in the kitchen doorway. “I don’t know what you were,” he admitted. “I don’t know what you're  _now_ ,” he grumbled.

Naruto sent him a faint smile. “I have no idea myself,” he confessed. “I know you need a better answer but—”

“I've told you to not say anything you might want to take back,” Sasuke interrupted him. It sounded as if he was going to start crying all over again, and Naruto hated making him sad, especially  _this_ sad.

“Alright,” Naruto murmured. “I care about you, I like you, I'm attracted to you, I wish you ran away with me somewhere far, far away but I'm going to respect your decision no matter what it's going to be,” he confessed. “So this is where you're standing,” he said. “I don’t know what it makes me into—”

“It's enough,” Sasuke replied.

“I haven't set you any final frontier,” Naruto whispered. “You can go as far as you want.”

"It's enough for now," Sasuke repeated. Naruto handed him his cup of coffee and sat by the kitchen table. Sasuke leaned forward and checked Naruto's temperature with his hand once again. "Packing will take me about fifteen minutes, " he informed Naruto. "Do you want some sweater or—"

"A blanket," Naruto barked. Sasuke frowned at him. "Which you don't have," the blonde continued. "I'll be honest with you, Sasuke, your place is exceptionally devoid of basics," he commented. "I'll buy you a pack of sugar and a blanket for holidays," he muttered. Sasuke glared at him for a minute or so without saying a word, then showed him a middle finger, turned on his heel, and marched out of the kitchen. Naruto sent his back a warm smile.

His head was still pounding, his throat was still sore, he was feeling much colder than when he was still lying in his bed, he was sleepy and hungry, and yet there was no other place he'd much rather be than Sasuke's kitchen with just a cup of tea he had to make himself in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR  
> ^ it always makes me think of the ABBA song, and that song is kind of depressing, and now I'm walking into new year with a hangover and kind of depressing lyrics in my head
> 
> good job


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL this and the next chapter were supposed to be just one chap but it's 16k words long, and uh, let's not get too crazy :D 
> 
> Also, there are some unpleasant moments, and I think my fics generally tend to be unpleasant. I just can't write like a normal person. Sorry about that.

Sasuke entered his kitchen to find Naruto huddling a probably barely warm cup in his hands. Sasuke let out a soft sigh, and put the blonde’s stupid plant, which, as if by miracle, remained alive, on the table. Naruto raised his head and stared back at Sasuke as if it was the first time he's ever seen him.

“Thanks,” the man mumbled out.

“It's wilting,” Sasuke replied, giving the plant a scrutinizing look. “I guess it wasn’t getting enough sunlight,” he commented in an apologetic tone. “I _was_ watering it but—"

“I'm surprised you've even kept it,” Naruto murmured. “I mean, we weren't supposed to meet ever again, so—”

“I planned to hand it over to Karin, so you could pick it up from her,” Sasuke explained. “Well, it's kind of dying right now, and I know that returning your plant in such a sorry state isn't very… well, let's just say that I might've killed it, and if I tried to fix it, it would probably look even worse, so it's best if you take it _now_ ,” he grumbled.

“It'll live,” Naruto assured him, studying the plant. “You're kind of cute,” he snorted, poking the pot with his finger. Sasuke narrowed his eyes to glare at the dumbass.

“Wash your cup, we're leaving,” he announced.

“Do you need my help with carrying something?” Naruto asked, standing up, approaching the sink and squeezing way too much detergent on a sponge.

“No,” Sasuke answered, handing the man his own cup.

“Are you _serious_?” Naruto complained, accepting the dirty coffee mug.

“It'll be faster this way,” Sasuke replied and left the kitchen to gather his bag and the laptop bag. He stopped in the corridor, glaring at the doors. Someone or something was going to take a photo the moment he would leave the building. Maybe even the moment he'd leave the _flat_ —

“Ready?” Naruto inquired the second he left the kitchen, wiping his wet hands on his jeans, careless and clueless like always.

“I guess,” Sasuke muttered in reply. Naruto tilted his head.

“Do you have a hoodie or is it too casual for you?” he asked. “If you don’t have one, there are some in my car, or I can just give you this one,” he offered, already taking it off. Sasuke frowned. Fashion wasn’t something he cared about too much but Naruto’s fashion sense was odd to say the least. He could probably share his wardrobe with teenage boys and nobody would think they looked too serious wearing his clothes. “I know I haven't showered today but it's just for a short moment, so stop making that face,” Naruto whined. Sasuke wrinkled his nose. Ah yes, there was _this_ too. So now it wasn’t just a stupid looking hoodie, it was also a possibly sweaty one.

“I'll pass,” he muttered, getting closer to the doors, and glaring at the keys that were still in the lock.

“If you'll pull the hood over your head, it won't be so easy to recognize you,” Naruto sighed. “I mean, Gaara _will_ know but if he was to show the picture to someone else—”

“They would see _you_ walking next to a guy, who left my apartment, my apartment building, with my posture and my face,” Sasuke interrupted him. “Yes, it'll be _very_ difficult to recognize me, really, all the intelligence agencies of the world will be _baffled_ upon—”

“Shut up, I have a fever,” Naruto barked. “And you can just put on some sunglasses.”

“It's _November_ ,” Sasuke pointed out in a tired tone.

“Whatever,” Naruto blurted out. “It was just a suggestion,” he complained, putting his hoodie back on. “Well? Open the doors,” he said. Sasuke nodded but hasn't moved, as if something turned him into stone. He was somewhat… _safe_ when he was in his flat with the curtains drawn. But after he'd leave… besides, that person could just follow them first to Naruto's place, and then to his mother's place. There was no running away from them. “Do you want me to open them?” Naruto asked.

“No,” Sasuke answered.

“But we _are_ leaving, right?” the blonde questioned in an uncertain voice. “Because it looks like you're freaking out again, so—”

“I'm not _freaking out_ ,” Sasuke protested.

“You have every reason to freak out,” Naruto murmured in reply.

“I'm not freaking out,” Sasuke repeated.

“I am,” Naruto blurted out. “But I know that we can't stay in here indefinitely, I mean, you do have a nice place but I kind of don't like the idea of being trapped in here for the rest of my life,” he continued. Sasuke turned his head to glare at the man, who merely shrugged his shoulders in reply.

“That creep already knows that you're here,” Sasuke muttered.

“Probably,” the blonde admitted.  “Worrying about it won't stop it from happening though,” he pointed out.

“We will be followed,” Sasuke sighed.

“It's possible,” Naruto agreed. “But then we'll be at my mom's, so we'll have some alone time. I guess we'll be trapped in there then _but_ it should be better,” he mumbled out.

“So you're just _guessing_ ,” Sasuke sighed.

“I don’t feel too confident using indicative mood when talking about Gaara anymore,” Naruto confessed with an even bigger sigh. “You were right, I _was_ wrong every single time I spoke about him, so it's safer to simply _suppose—”_

“You don’t inspire confidence,” Sasuke grunted.

“I literally had sex with the guy, who was following me,” Naruto blurted out. “So I don't feel too inspired myself—”

“You _what_?” Sasuke mumbled out.

“That movie? It was made _by_ the guy I slept with,” Naruto confessed. “I'm guessing he was the one, who took all these pictures too.”

Sasuke stared at the other man, slowly blinking his eyes and trying his best to process the information. Naruto looked… _embarrassed_ but that was it. Sasuke knew he would've been mortified and disgusted with himself for letting someone like that lay even one finger on him, and yet Naruto was talking about it as if he stepped into something nasty and then dragged it all over someone's new white carpet.

“ _So_ I know his face,” Naruto continued after a longer while of uncomfortable silence. “If it'll be the same guy following us, I'll recognize him,” he stated. “And you've got to admit his dedication, I mean—”

“Stop talking,” Sasuke pleaded.

“Sure, I don’t exactly feel like talking about it too, so,” Naruto coughed and cleared his throat. “Are we leaving?”

“We are,” Sasuke answered. He jerked up when Naruto put one hand on his back. “What are you doing?” Sasuke muttered, and Naruto's hand disappeared just as suddenly, as it appeared.

“Sorry, that maternal instinct kicked in,” the blonde sighed. “I can make us some more tea while you're opening the doors,” he mumbled out. Seconds later, Sasuke actually heard him step away. He turned around to glare at the patronizing dumbass.

“We’re _leaving_ ,” Sasuke hissed.

“I know, I’m just giving you some space and time to deal with the fact that right now we're screwed,” Naruto replied. “It's better if you prepare mentally for it, I mean it's better to freak out _here_ ,” he pointed out, sounding absolutely and completely unfazed by the entire situation. “Not to mention that this plant is kind of heavy and I don't need more muscles on my arms—"

“I'm _not_ freaking out,” Sasuke snapped.

“You're freaking out pretty often for someone, who says he's _not_ freaking out,” Naruto grunted, and somehow Sasuke _knew_ the blonde would be making the quotation marks with his fingers while saying _not_ if he wasn’t holding that stupid plant. For some reason, it pissed Sasuke off more than what the man actually said. “And I don’t blame you, freaking out is natural, especially in your situation. To be completely honest, I’d be _worried_ if you weren't freaking out,” Naruto added with a haste.

“Just shut up, I'm opening the doors,” Sasuke barked at the him, approached the doors and turned the key in the lock.

“Why do you always try to silence me when I'm saying something you don't want to hear?” Naruto whined as he walked up to Sasuke, and put his hand on the knob.

“You've answered yourself,” Sasuke blurted out, watching in horror as Naruto slowly opened the doors.

“So,” Naruto blabbered, drawling the _o_ into infinity and beyond, “you're just admitting that I'm right when you tell me to shut up,” he chirped. “Ready?” he whispered, pointing at the doors with his head. Sasuke nodded. “Great,” Naruto breathed out and threw the doors open. Then he entered the hallway and looked both ways. “The coast is clear,” he announced, making a stupid walkie-talkie voice.

“Are you _five_?” Sasuke mumbled out, following after the idiot.

“Seeing how you were ready to jump me a few days ago, for your sake I hope I'm not,” Naruto replied with a chuckle.

“I wasn’t ready to _jump you_ ,” Sasuke complained, locking the doors behind himself.

“ _Sure_ ,” Naruto murmured. “Let's go,” he said and headed towards the staircase. Sasuke knew he could've argued with the blonde but instead he merely shook his head and walked after him. Because, while he wasn't going to admit it out loud, Naruto being stupid was _comforting_. It was probably _meant_ to distract Sasuke from the shit they were both drowning in but it _was_ working.

They descended the stairs, and walked into the underground parking. They entered the car, with Sasuke taking the wheel. Naruto lowered the heating and gave Sasuke his new address.

They haven't met anyone on their way down. No car followed after them when they drove off. Sasuke felt as if he could breathe again.

“So far so good,” Naruto commented.

“Yeah,” Sasuke agreed. He couldn't help glancing into the rearview mirror every few seconds. He let out a soft gasp when Naruto’s hand landed on his thigh and gave it a quick rub. “What are you doing?”

“I'm obviously trying to flirt with you,” Naruto barked at him and took his hand away. Sasuke narrowed his eyes and sent the blonde an angry look. “Sasuke, I'm seriously not a person, who makes unwanted advances, I'm just trying to be _friendly_ and sometimes I forget you’re _not_ as friendly.”

“You're forgetting that _a lot_ ,” Sasuke pointed out.

“Sorry,” Naruto grumbled.

“You're bad at flirting,” Sasuke commented.

“I'm _what_?” Naruto howled. “And it's coming from _your_ lips? Wow, just _wow_ ,” he added, sounding as if someone insulted his entire family. “I'm _delightful_ , and people naturally flock to me, I mean you did listen to Sakura when she was calling me a slut, right?”

“You've simply found someone, who was as desperate for sex, as you were,” Sasuke disagreed in a flat voice, stopping at the red lights.

“There was _seven_ of them, and I didn't need to leave the club even _once_ ,” Naruto hissed. “Hell, at one point _you_ wanted to fuck me, and it was _me_ , who said no,” he argued. “Gaara too isn't exactly a sex crazed beast, you know—”

“I don’t want to talk about him,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“Sure,” Naruto agreed. “But you _have_ to admit that I _am_ good at flirting.”

“You suck at it,” Sasuke breathed out.

“Then why did you want to have sex with me?” Naruto questioned, sounding offended. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and started driving again when the lights turned green. “You're not getting out of this so easily,” Naruto barked.

“It had nothing to do with your flirting skills,” Sasuke informed him.

“I kind of doubt you find me irresistibly hot,” Naruto sighed.

“I liked you,” Sasuke answered. He could see Naruto gawking at him from the corner of his eye. “What?”

“I wasn’t expecting you to _admit it_ ,” Naruto replied. “I thought you'd be all like _oh it was just a whim_ ,” he mumbled out.

“I _did_ enjoy the company of people like you in the past,” Sasuke argued, feeling stupidly embarrassed.

“This sounds more like you,” Naruto sighed.

“Karin is like you, and I like her,” Sasuke continued.

“So I'm _your type_ ,” the blonde chirped.

“You're not my type,” Sasuke protested. “I don’t _have_ a type,” he grunted.

“ _Right_ , you only like _people like me_ ,” Naruto chuckled.

“Type suggests I care about things like your blond hair, and I _don’t_ care about—”

“Sure you don't,” Naruto cooed.

“I _don’t_ ,” Sasuke repeated.

“But I'm still your type,” the man murmured in a sing-a-song tone, evidently pleased with himself. “I can't wait till you ask me out,” he added.

“I _won't_ ,” Sasuke insisted.

“You've said I suck at flirting, so I'm guessing that if _I_ was to do it, you'd just be all like _nope_ ,” Naruto snorted.

“I'm engaged,” Sasuke sighed in reply. “And officially, I'm straight. So I don’t really see a scenario in which I ask you out,” he concluded.

“You're breaking my heart,” Naruto whined like a five-year-old, who was promised candy but got only raisins. “Turn left now or we'll get stuck in traffic,” he added in a much more normal tone. Sasuke made the turn. “We’ll be there soon.”

“Great,” Sasuke grunted. He was never certain when Naruto was joking and when he was being sincere. He was guessing that the blonde wasn’t truly disappointed about the fact that he wasn’t going to be _asked out_. They spent the rest of the way in silence, save for Naruto singing every seventh line of a song that was currently playing on the radio. And he was messing up the lyrics, so the song made even less sense. After a few minutes Sasuke finally stopped at a closed off parking.

He left his bag in the car, taking only his phone, wallet and the laptop with him, and followed after Naruto, who was acting far less careless than in the car. Right now, even though Sasuke was so obviously going with him, it felt as if they didn't even know each other. And it would've stayed that way if Naruto didn't hold the doors open for him.

At least now they didn't have to climb _eleven_ flights of stairs because Naruto lived on the fourth floor. They entered the flat. It was bright and impersonal. But it did have a balcony, and there was more plants on the kitchen sill than Sasuke cared to count.

“Alright, so now I will take a quick shower, pack my stuff, water the plants and we can leave,” the blonde stated as he was drawing the curtains closed. Sasuke was strangely grateful that he didn't have to say anything and that Naruto simply did it himself. It felt more _normal_ this way, and Sasuke felt less paranoid. “I actually _have_ food here, so help yourself to whatever you want,” Naruto added. “And I'm hungry too, so if you could fix me a sandwich or something—”

“I'm not hungry,” Sasuke replied, heavily landing on the couch.

“You're simply stressed but in some time you'll stop being stressed, and then you'll be hungry,” Naruto sighed. “I mean, you _have_ to eat something today,” he complained. “And I can't live without food so I'll just make some sandwiches for the road, and then we'll buy something on a gas station.”

“I see we’ll be having gourmet food,” Sasuke whispered, tilting his head back and resting it on the back of the couch.

“Snob,” Naruto commented.

“I can make the sandwiches,” Sasuke sighed in reply.

“Just chill, I don’t mean to offend but you could probably use a shower too, it'll be a four hours long drive, so,” the blonde paused to clear his throat, “I'll just make some food when _you_ are taking a shower,” he offered.

“I left all my things in the car,” Sasuke sighed.

“So use mine,” Naruto grunted. “I have some clothes that will fit you.”

“I'll look like a clown,” Sasuke complained.

“I have _lots_ of boring clothes, and most still have tags on them, so stop whining,” Naruto blurted out. Sasuke turned his head just enough to give the man a long stare. “You'll feel better, so just chill for the time being, then you'll take a quick shower, and _then_ we're hitting the road,” he announced. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

“Whatever,” he relented. Naruto shook his head and disappeared into the bathroom, so Sasuke returned to his original position. He was feeling stupid. It was all stupid. He’s promised Sakura that Naruto wasn’t coming back, and yet here he was, welcoming him with open arms. This whole idea of running into some countryside was dumb too. It was incredibly dumb. He should've stayed at home. He should've been more insistent in his throwing Naruto out. Sasuke let out an exasperated sigh, closed his stingy eyes, rubbed them with straightened fingers, and sighed again. He had no idea how Naruto was able to convince him that this madness was making any sense.

* * *

 

Naruto left the shower, feeling somewhat refreshed, and marched off towards the living room to tell Sasuke that it was his turn now. He smiled when he saw the man lying in the exact same position he's left him in. The blonde quietly approached the couch and sat down next to Sasuke.

“You can use the bathroom now,” he announced in a hushed tone. Sasuke didn't react at all. Naruto let out a small huff and mimicked Sasuke’s position. “You're sleeping, aren't you?” he asked in a whisper. Sasuke didn't reply but Naruto got his answer anyways. “Rest,” he murmured. “You deserve a proper rest. Even though this position will probably make your neck hurt like a bitch,” he commented, slowly realizing he was talking to himself. “If I woke you up, you wouldn't just lie down, right? But you look exhausted, and you wanted to drive, so it'll be either me driving or you taking a nap,” Naruto informed the sleeping man. “If your neck hurts, I'll just take the wheel, so it's entirely on me,” he announced. “I wish you were more reasonable, so you could sleep like a proper human being right now,” he grumbled. “But you're not very reasonable,” he sighed. “And this is why you're here with me, so I guess I should be thankful for how stupid you are at times,” he added.

“I'm not being stupid,” Sasuke yawned in reply, startling Naruto.

“Fuck,” he breathed out.

“But this whole running away for a few days idea _is_ stupid,” Sasuke murmured. “Drive me back home,” he said.

“Why?” Naruto blurted out.

“It's easier to follow us when we're together,” Sasuke pointed out. “It's just a few days, so it doesn't change anything. It's just a waste of time,” he whispered.

“A few days can change _a lot_ ,” Naruto insisted. “You're under so much stress right now that you're quite literally falling apart, and when I met you, you were a pompous asshole. You’re not the same person as—”

“Back then you didn’t know me, so you _thought_ I was a pompous asshole,” Sasuke corrected him but his voice was free of a bite. “ _This_ is me, nice to meet you,” he sighed.

“Yeah, if you think being on a verge of a mental breakdown _all the time_ is normal, you really need holidays,” Naruto mumbled out.

“I've been like this for a long time already, things have just… escalated in the last few days,” Sasuke replied, sounding tired and _mildly_ annoyed.

“So let me _fix_ this mess—”

“When was the last time you actually _fixed_ anything?” Sasuke inquired. Naruto opened his mouth to reply but closed it the second he realized Sasuke was right.

“…I'm sorry,” he eventually grunted. “I've only made everything worse,” he admitted.

“You're screwed too,” the man pointed out.

“Yeah, we both are,” the blonde agreed. “But I'm the one responsible for it, so,” he whispered and cleared his throat, “I think too many people have already tried to fuck with your head, and I _don’t_ want to be one of them,” Naruto sighed. “So if you _seriously_ think it's better to go back home than to find a place in which we could rest, regroup and think our strategy through, then I'll drive you back home,” he grunted. Sasuke turned his head just to make sure Naruto saw him rolling his eyes.

“ _This_ is some next level manipulation,” he muttered.

“Then think this through or, even better, sleep on it because no matter what you'll want to do, you need to get some shut eye,” Naruto replied.

“Let's go before I change my mind,” Sasuke sighed, getting up from the couch and stretching his back. “Make me some coffee while I take the shower,” he added. Naruto nodded, and followed after Sasuke, practically shoving fresh towels and the most boring clothes he could find into his arms.

“If you need anything, just yell,” he said as he pretty much pushed Sasuke into the bathroom and closed the doors behind him.

* * *

 

Naruto looked to his side to find Sasuke still sleeping in the passenger’s seat drooling all over the sleeve of a navy blue pullover he labeled _tacky_. _Of course_ he fell asleep. He had driven during the first two hours but then there had been more and more yawning, and Sasuke _finally_ had admitted that he perhaps needed a short break. The man fell asleep in less than fifteen minutes, and the short break lasted over three and a half hours, and Naruto was pretty fucking certain that none of them should be driving because it was reckless and stupid, and he had a fever, and Sasuke hasn't slept for gods knew how long, and they were _so_ lucky that the road was a rarely used one because otherwise it could've ended _badly,_ and to be honest it could've ended badly _anyways_ , and Naruto had absolutely no idea why he even agreed to doing it like this apart from the fact that he didn't want Sasuke to change his mind. The blonde let out an exasperated sigh and rubbed his face as he honked his car two times to let his mum know he came for a visit.

It was her idea to have that two honks signal. It made some sense since Naruto was driving a different car every time he visited her but the fact was that many people honked like that without any special reason. Nevertheless, it worked. He could see her silhouette in the doors as she left the house and approached the gate to open it for them. Then he stopped the car and quietly evacuated it to give her a hug and some explanation.

“Who's _that_?” she asked, sounding all cheery. Naruto pulled himself out of her embrace and sent a quick look towards Sasuke to make sure he was still sleeping.

“He used to be my client but now he's kind of my friend, and he needs a secluded place to rest, and I thought I could bring him here,” he blurted out, feeling ridiculous.

“Seriously?” she grumbled, audibly disappointed. “If he's not sleeping with you, I'm charging him,” she announced with a huff.

“ _Mom_ ,” Naruto whined.

“What _mom_?” she questioned. “We've agreed that you weren't going to bring work home, and yet—”

“He's _not_ work,” Naruto interrupted her in a hushed voice. “I actually like him, and he needs to hide for a few days, and I can just pay for his stay if you really want me to, just don't tell him you're charging him,” he pleaded.

“I'm _not_ going to make _you_ pay,” she hissed. “Why does he even need to hide?”

“I messed up,” Naruto confessed. “It's a pretty touchy subject, and I _will_ explain it all to you but not now,” he pleaded. “I swear he hasn’t slept in the last four days, he's a walking mess right now, and I need you to be nice to him,” he begged.

“I'm always nice,” she barked.

“So can he stay?”

“I have flashbacks of you bringing stray animals home,” she complained. “When will you bring me a boyfriend or a girlfriend, or whomever else, I just want to meet someone, whose name I should bother with remembering,” she whined.

“Sasuke’s not a stray animal,” he protested, waving his arms as if he could fan the words away, away from Sasuke, so they would have no chance of reaching him. “Mom, I need you to a little warmer towards him, like, sometimes he acts like an asshole but he's actually kind of sensitive—”

“Sasuke, a sensitive asshole,” she repeated, giving him a long, hard look. “I doubt this is too much info because he's clearly a client of yours _but_ it sounds like too much information,” she pointed out, looking as if she given up on the hope that Naruto was going to grow up into anything else than a total waste of space. “Naruto, I really don't feel like spending my energy on trying to be nicer to him than he really deserves if this is both the first and the last time I'm seeing him.”

“And _this_ is why I'm never bringing anyone here,” the blonde wailed. “I love you but you’re impossible,” he complained. “Just be nice tonight, tomorrow I'll tell you what's going on, and then do whatever you see fit, maybe you'll even like him because you apparently share a hobby,” he blurted out.

“What hobby?” she inquired.

“Torturing me,” Naruto retorted. She gave him a pointed look. “Mom, _you_ made me take this job, remember? Karin called you and you _made_ me take this job, and it got complicated—”

“Karin sounded as if she adored him,” his mom interrupted him, peeking over his shoulder to get a better look at Sasuke.

“She does. And I like him too,” Naruto replied. “So he's not job anymore, okay?”

“But he won't come back,” she muttered.

“Probably,” Naruto admitted. “I wish he did though, so—“

“Alright,” she relented. “Bring him home then. You'll make him some tea or whatever, and I'll prepare him a room,” she stated, slowly stepping back. Naruto sent her a thankful smile, went back to the car, opened the doors on the passenger's side, and gently shook Sasuke awake.

“We're here,” he whispered.

“Hey, Sasuke,” his mom yelled so loud that Naruto could hear it ring in his ears.

“Good evening,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“Get your things and go into the main house, Naruto will lead you there,” she ordered, wrapping her scarf tighter around her neck, “It's dead season right now, so the guest houses are cold since nobody's using them—”

“I want to rent them all,” Sasuke blurted out. Kushina blinked, looking a little dumbfounded.

“…I guess I can prepare one for tomorrow,” she answered.

“There’s no need, I only want to rent them, I can stay wherever,” Sasuke replied. “But I want to rent _all_ of them,” he insisted.

“I believe _I_ should be paying for it,” Naruto chimed in.

“I’d feel weird charging any of you, especially if you're not going to use it,” she protested.

“If they are available for rent, I want to—”

“Nobody comes here when it's so cold,” Kushina interrupted Sasuke. “If you want privacy, then worry not because—”

“Mom, please, just go with it,” Naruto pleaded. He took his and Sasuke's bags from the car because so far Sasuke hasn't made even _one_ move to leave it, and Naruto was guessing that Sasuke perhaps was a little bit paranoid about standing in the open like this, even though it was dark already. “Have you ever seen stars like these?” the blonde asked to distract the man with whatever, and, besides, the stars really did look amazing, they were so far away from the nearest civilization that there was almost no light pollution. And Sasuke did take the bait. Partially. He peeked out from the car just to take a quick glance at the night sky.

“Yeah, at open sea,” he answered.

“If you've taken everything from the car, let's go,” Naruto suggested, feeling as if he was about to freeze. He wasn't certain whether it was fever or just cold weather, but he didn't exactly care enough to find out which one it was. He simply knew he needed to head somewhere warm asap. “Sasuke,” he whined, this time sounding more insistent, “let’s go,” he repeated, offering his hand to the other man.

“Of course,” Sasuke mumbled out. He didn't take the hand but he did use Naruto’s forearm to help himself stand up. “Sorry,” he added as he took his bag from Naruto's shoulder. “Let's go.”

And then, after just a short walk, they finally entered the house, and at first it felt almost painfully warm but after just a few moments it felt freezing again, and the blonde realized that perhaps making a long trip wasn't exactly the best cure because the second he believed he was done with what he had to do today, he felt cold and exhausted, his entire body was aching, and there was nothing he wanted more than to lie in bed under a shit ton of comforters. He drew the curtains in the kitchen close, ignoring his mom's questioning looks and listening to Sasuke apologizing to her because he hadn’t introduced himself properly and thanking her for taking him in, and it was kind of amazing because he sounded like an actual human being but he had to feel like shit.

“Naruto, make some tea, and I'll prepare your rooms,” his mom ordered, forcing him to be more aware of what was going on around him. “Don't make that face, we have a guest,” she scolded him the second she saw him frown.

“Sorry,” he grumbled, “I'll make it, I'm simply tired,” he added, leaving his chair and approaching the sink. His head was killing him. And it must've weighed more than both of his legs. Sasuke offered to make the tea himself. Kushina called him stupid because he was a guest, and guests apparently didn't have enough clearance to make tea.

“She looks a lot like Karin,” Sasuke commented when she left the room. Naruto nodded. “She resembles her a lot when it comes to behavior too,” Sasuke continued. Naruto nodded again. “So this place is like a hotel?” Sasuke asked, and Naruto nodded yet again. Sasuke let out an annoyed sigh. “You grew up in here? It's dark, so I didn't see much but it looks nice,” Sasuke said. Naruto shook his head. “I'm guessing you didn't grow up in here,” Sasuke muttered. Naruto nodded. “I don’t like small talk either,” Sasuke grunted.

“I'm just tired, don't take it personally,” Naruto complained, pouring hot tea into three cups, returning to his seat by the table next to Sasuke, and resting his head in his hand. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” the man answered. He pulled out his phone. “There really is no signal in here,” he murmured.

“Told ya,” Naruto murmured. “Now the only way of contacting you will be through the home line,” he stated. “Sometimes it's annoying but usually it's pretty great,” he yawned.

“The rooms are ready,” Kushina announced, practically jumping onto her chair. “So do you boys want to go rest or—”

“Rest,” Naruto blurted out. She pouted at him, and he felt ridiculously guilty. “Sorry mom, it's been a rough few days, we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

“I was thinking about playing some board games, it gets boring in here, you know,” she complained.

“We'll play some tomorrow,” he promised. “Sasuke is dead tired, and I could use some shut eye too,” he said, sending her an apologetic look.

“I still need to rent the rest of the rooms,” Sasuke chimed in.

“There's really no need,” she sighed.

“Just humor him,” Naruto yawned. He jerked up when felt someone kicking him under the table. He had no idea whether it was Sasuke or his mom, although, if he was forced to make a guess, he would've probably put his money on Sasuke.

“Whatever, it’s your money,” she finally relented. “Let me get the paperwork,” she murmured, and disappeared again. Naruto closed his eyes. Keeping them open was painful.

“You look worse with every passing second,” Sasuke whispered. “Just go to sleep, I'll be fine on my own,” he suggested.

“No, I don’t want her to think I'm sick,” Naruto whispered back.

“It's more about knowing that you're sick,” Sasuke sighed in reply. “It's not like you can hide it.”

“If she learns I drove the car in this state, she'll murder me,” the blonde hissed in a hushed tone. “And then she'll force-feed me chicken soup, and will spend the entire night stressing over me, and I seriously don’t think I'm at the death bed already, so just let's get this over with quickly, and let's rest,” he pleaded. He heard Sasuke letting out a soft sigh. Then he felt a cold hand on his forehead. It felt nice, so he leaned onto it, pressing his head harder against Sasuke’s fingers.

“You're burning up,” the man said. “I can stay with you tonight. In case you need someone to bring you water,” he offered.

“I wouldn't want to get you sick too,” Naruto replied.

“Too late for that,” Sasuke whispered. “We've already spent over five hours in the car.”

“Sorry,” Naruto mumbled out.

“So do you want me to stay?”

“'…yeah,” the blonde admitted. It wasn’t as much about bringing water as it was about the fact that Sasuke's body always felt pleasantly hot, and gods knew he could use some extra warmth.

He straightened his back when his mom came back, and watched Sasuke fill out forms. Naruto's mom kept sending him worried looks every time Sasuke was leaned over the papers, and Naruto was replying with reassuring smiles. And then, after fifteen long minutes, they were finally done.

“I guess you don't want me to wake you up,” his mom murmured.

“Yeah, today we just need to rest,” Naruto replied. “Sasuke, if you get hungry, just wake me up, and I'll—”

“Aren’t you hungry right now?” Kushina chirped, suddenly looking much happier. Naruto mentally slapped himself across the face and promised himself he was going to spend some quality time with her _soon_.

“No, thank you,” Sasuke hurriedly answered. He probably wasn’t lying but he did eat only half a sandwich, and that was because Naruto practically forced it into him.

“I'm sorry, mom, I know it's sudden and everything,” the blonde mumbled out. “Two days from now I'll drive Sasuke back home, and return here, okay? So we’ll have plenty of time,” he promised. She sent him a warm smile, visibly content with the arrangement, and _then_ they were finally able to go upstairs. “Left,” Naruto informed Sasuke, who, for whatever reason, was leading the way. They entered the room. Naruto was somewhat surprised to find the curtains already drawn. It was good. It felt more natural this way. He slowly, gently slumped on the bed, and bundled himself up in a blanket.

“Don’t you feel… trapped?” Sasuke inquired, pointing at the window. Naruto shook his head.

“It's just glass, I could easily break it,” he explained. “It's only the first floor, so I shouldn't get too hurt if I was to jump out of the window,” he added. “So don't worry.”

“Alright,” Sasuke whispered back, lying next to Naruto. “And what exactly could prompt you to jump out of the window?” he inquired.

“Life's unpredictable,” Naruto huffed.

“It is,” Sasuke agreed, sounding somewhat more serious than just a while ago because a while ago it seemed that he was finding the vision of Naruto jumping out of the window rather humorous.

“It can be a good thing too,” the blonde whispered. He's never suspected he'd be bringing Sasuke here. He's never suspected he might _want_ to have him here. And yet there he was, lying just a few inches away from Naruto, who scuttled closer to the warm body.

“Don't get too comfortable,” the man yawned.

“Right, sorry,” Naruto mumbled out, moving away.

“Because we need to brush teeth,” Sasuke added. “I don’t like being touched when you're trying to comfort me, it's not like I mind being touched as a general rule,” he muttered.

“Oh,” the blonde breathed out. He wasn’t certain what to make of it. “I'm kind of surprised you've offered to stay with me,” he confessed. “I don’t think you're… used to sharing your bed with anyone, so it's surprising that you're—”

“You're making little to none sense,” Sasuke whispered. “Berths aren't too wide, and it's not like I fidget in bed, so why would I mind sharing space?” he questioned.

“When was the last time you've slept with someone else than me?” Naruto asked. Sasuke clicked his tongue.

“Over twenty years ago,” he answered.

“My point exactly,” Naruto replied. “And you're not really a touchy-feely person, so it's pretty weird that you don’t mind having me—”

“I've told you that I don't mind it when you're touching me,” Sasuke barked, sounding annoyed.

“But do you want me to?”

“Excuse me?”

“Do you want me to touch you?” Naruto asked.

“You _can_ ,” Sasuke grunted after a longer while of pregnant silence.

“So you don't _want_ me to do it,” the blonde carefully stated.

“I've already told you that you can—”

“These are two different questions, Sasuke,” Naruto interrupted him. “Tolerating it is one thing, and _wanting_ it is a completely different matter,” he argued. “Like, I _can_ tolerate elevators but I don't _want_ to ride—”

“I do know what these words mean,” Sasuke hissed. “I've told you that I don't mind it, so comparing it to elevators is stupid,” he added.

“Alright, so it's,” Naruto started and paused, unable to come up with a good example, “you don't mind rain but it's not like you _want_ it to rain,” he said.

“Go to sleep, Naruto,” Sasuke sighed.

“ _Fine_ ,” the blonde relented, rolling towards the edge of the bed to rummage through his bag and find everything he needed. After a few seconds he resigned from doing it with his head hanging down because that was a _terrible_ idea, and he resorted to trying to find his toothbrush with just his hands. Hand. It wasn’t going too well.

“ _Do you need help_?” Sasuke hissed.

“Nope,” Naruto answered. For a split second he regretted rooming with Sasuke because if he wasn't rooming with Sasuke, he could've simply throw everything out on the floor, and it would've made the search _so much_ easier. “Actually yeah, I do,” the blonde sighed. “Can you find me my toothbrush and something I can sleep in?”

“Half an hour ago you were _driving_ while I was _sleeping_ , and now you need my help to find a _toothbrush_?” Sasuke mumbled out, sounding horrified. “You should've woken me up, I'm not nearly as useless as you are right now,” he complained, stepping over Naruto and kneeling in front of his bag. “It looks like a trash bin,” he whined.

“It's just _clothes_ ,” the blonde whined back. “Fuck, okay, I'll do it,” he sighed, pushing his hand back into the bag.

“You wouldn't have problems with finding anything in the first place if you packed yourself like a normal human being,” Sasuke groaned. Naruto jerked up when he felt something warm brushing against his fingers.

“Ew, what the fuck,” he blurted out, swiftly taking his hand out. It slapped against what felt like Sasuke's face.

“Yes, indeed, _what the fuck_ , Naruto?” Sasuke growled at him.

“There was something _warm_ in there—”

“It was my hand, dumbass,” the man gritted through his teeth. “And you've hit me, too,” he added.

“I thought you trained martial arts,” Naruto yapped back. “I thought you'd have better reflexes—”

“You don’t _want_ me to have better reflexes,” Sasuke snarled.

“Yeah, _right_ ,” Naruto murmured. “You must've been a _real_ prodigy if you weren't able to dodge a sick person’s attack—”

“Just say that you're sorry,” Sasuke sighed. “It's not an attack if you didn't mean it, and I doubt you did.”

“…of course I didn't,” Naruto mumbled out, opening his eyes to look at Sasuke. “Sorry,” he added. He cracked a little smile when he saw Sasuke rolling his eyes as he finally fished out the toothbrush, and stabbed Naruto's cheek with it. And then everything went black when Sasuke threw Naruto's pajamas on his face.

“If you ever want me to look through your stuff again, start folding your clothes,” Sasuke ordered with a heavy sigh, and, judging from the way the mattress dipped, sat on the bed. Naruto sucked in a shaky breath. “I can't fucking believe you drove the car in _this state_ ,” Sasuke muttered. “You could've killed us, you literally could've killed us,” he continued, an utter disbelief audible in his quiet voice.

“Well, four hours ago you were too tired to care about minor details such as this,” Naruto grunted in reply, removing the pajamas off his face. “You didn't want to sleep _before_ , and staying somewhere on the sidewalk could be catastrophic, so there was no other way but letting me drive like this,” he argued.

“You should've woken me up,” Sasuke disagreed.

“You're saying it _now_ , after you've taken an over three hours long nap, so if I was to do it earlier, it would've been _you_ almost killing us,” Naruto replied. “And _besides_ , we're alive, so there's no point in thinking about it _now._ It was stupid and reckless, and _yes_ , let's not do it again _but_ you've said you wanted to leave immediately because otherwise you were going to change your mind about coming here, and I didn't want you to change your mind, and—”

“Slow down,” Sasuke interrupted him. “You're blabbering,” he commented. “And you don’t have to always believe everything I'm saying, some of it doesn't mean much,” he yawned.

“…right,” Naruto murmured in reply. “Sometimes you say things and… don't mean them,” he mumbled out. Sasuke nodded. The blonde let out a soft sigh, collected his toothbrush and pajamas, and left his bedroom, leaving Sasuke alone in there.

It made perfect sense, and he too was guilty of saying things in spur of a moment, and at least now he knew that it was very possible that whenever Sasuke was saying something that would mean he'd developed some kind of… attachment to Naruto, it probably didn't mean much. And now it was clear why most of the time Sasuke didn't want to be touched. And when he was allowing it, it was mostly because Naruto’s asked him for it, and he didn't say _no_ , and…

It was alright.

They were friends.

Kind of.

Kind of because probably for Sasuke being openly friendly with Naruto would be equal to stooping way too low, and so it all worked only because it was all in secret, and there was that stupid confidentiality agreement, and _that_ was probably the reason why Sasuke trusted him enough to share _something_. Because if Naruto was to betray his trust, there would be legal consequences. And so, in the end, it was still that stupid contract that was binding them together.

It was the reason they met, it was the reason they were able to get to know each other better, and it was the reason why it had to stop.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you've noticed but I uploaded two chapters at once, and this one is the second part :Y

Naruto woke up in the middle of the night, feeling groggy, and as if his head was filled with soggy cotton. That has probably started to already rot since it was locked in his skull, and there wasn’t much more for the cotton to do than to just _rot_ , and so it was to be expected, and Naruto wouldn’t have minded it as much if it didn't hurt like a bitch, and his musings were cut short because he felt something he shouldn't have felt.

And that thing was Sasuke's cock between his thighs.

“Oi,” Naruto mumbled out because Sasuke, despite what he had said earlier, wasn’t tonight sleeping like a rock, oh no, he was quite animated actually. He was pretty much humping Naruto's legs. He perhaps wasn’t putting too much heart into it, it was more on a lazy side, and kind of slow-mo, but it was still unmistakable. “Sasuke,” Naruto barked. “Wake up,” he commanded because Sasuke _had_ to be asleep, if he _wasn't_ asleep, he wouldn't be spooning Naruto, his cock wouldn't have been this hard, and so deep between the blonde’s thighs, and, for fuck's sake, he wouldn't be breathing this heavily. “Sasuke,” Naruto yelled.

“What,” the man rasped back. Naruto mentally counted to three, and by that time Sasuke was practically glued to the wall, and if he could've moved further away, he probably would've.

“Relax,” Naruto sighed.

“I'm sorry, that was—”

“ _Relax_ ,” Naruto repeated. “I seriously don’t mind it, I woke you up because _you_ probably mind it,” he explained in a soft murmur. He heard Sasuke letting out yet another raggedy breath. “I guess you were having a nice dream,” the blonde snorted.

“Shut up,” Sasuke breathed out.

“You can continue if you want, just don't expect me to move too much, I mean, my head is literally killing me,” Naruto joked, unable to stop himself from laughing.

“Figuratively,” Sasuke corrected him without missing a beat. Naruto turned on his other side to look at the other man.

“Relax, it's never happened,” he whispered. “Remember? We have that confidentiality agreement, so whatever you do or say… it doesn't matter,” he said.

“Nothing I do or say _matters_?” Sasuke hissed at him.

“Well, _kind of_ ,” Naruto mumbled out.

“What do you mean _kind of_?” Sasuke barked. “Does _anything_ I've ever said or done mean anything to you or are you just putting it all on the _to forget_ pile, so after you're finally done with me you'll put it all into some goddamn shredder?”

“You’ve said yourself that I shouldn’t believe everything you've said, so—”

“And what gave you the impression that you shouldn't believe _anything_ I say?” Sasuke interrupted him.

“Well,” Naruto started and paused when he realized he wasn't really certain how he'd come to this conclusion. “I'm _sick_ ,” he blurted out.

“I haven't lied to you even _once_ ,” Sasuke muttered. “Whenever I've said something, I was telling you what I believed to be genuinely _true_ at that time, and I'm lying to everyone I know,” he snarled. “I'm lying to my own _mother_ , and I haven't lied to you, and _you_ say you don’t believe anything I say?”

“But see, you've just said that you said what you've believed to be true at one point in time but now it doesn't mean _shit_ , so—”

“Naruto, you've already convinced me _twice_ to come here, do you really think you'd have much trouble with convincing me to come here for the third time?” Sasuke snapped.

“It's not about _coming here_ ,” Naruto protested.

“Then what is it about? Please, do tell me when exactly have I lied to you—”

“You do know you've told me things you don’t mean,” Naruto interrupted him.

“ _What things_?” Sasuke questioned.

“Well,” the blonde breathed out, suddenly feeling utterly embarrassed and ridiculous because the second he was going to tell Sasuke what it was, he was going to know that Naruto thought it was real, and thinking any of that could be real was absurd. “Other things,” he grunted.

“ _What other things_?!” Sasuke groaned.

“…you’ve said you'd be coming back,” Naruto eventually whispered. He wasn’t ready to hear that it wasn’t true. He _knew_ it couldn't be but so far he's been able to fool himself that he did mean something to Sasuke.

“Coming back _where_?”

And, of course, Sasuke had no idea what Naruto was even talking about. The blonde turned on his back, and covered his eyes with his forearm.

“It was after I got myself locked up—”

“And when have I made you think I was lying?” Sasuke interrupted him. “Was there even _one_ time when I thought you needed my help and I _haven't_ come?” he asked. “Have I given you _any_ reason to doubt—”

“You've said there were things you say and don't mean, and I assumed—”

“And how many times have I told you that you suck at assuming things?” Sasuke complained. “For fuck's sake, Naruto, don't be so dense. I was referring to all these times I was firing you, all these times I was and wasn’t planning to marry Sakura, and whether I wanted to come here or not, and it all stems from the fact that I have _no_ fucking clue what to do,” he muttered. “I take myself pretty seriously, Naruto,” Sasuke stated after a short pause, sounding as if it was the core belief of his religion, and Naruto somehow broke its every rule, “I do know that after saying some things you _can't_ take them back, I mean _you_ are far less trustworthy when it comes to this, you've literally promised me that whatever was going to happen between us, was going to be only a lie—”

“Well it's _not_ a lie,” the blonde interrupted him. “And I've told you way more than you've told me,” he whined. “I mean you know what's your standing with me but I have no idea what's my standing with you, it's pretty unfair, don't you think—”

“I've told you that I don't plan on coming out, and therefore it is impossible for me to have an official relationship with you,” Sasuke replied in a surprisingly whiny voice. “Hell, it's possible that I'm going to be married soon, so what more do you want to know?”

“…what would you do if you could do anything you wanted?” Naruto asked. Sasuke let out a loud groan.

“Do you think I _don’t_ want you?” he inquired.

“I don’t know,” Naruto confessed, somewhat surprised by such a direct question. “It does feel like pretty much _anyone_ could take my place if they only signed a confidentiality agreement with you, I mean, it's my only saving grace, so—”

“It's _not_ ,” Sasuke hissed. “You're literally the only person, who makes me feel like I'm not a mistake,” he barked. Naruto blinked. Pointed at the doors because Sasuke was being way too loud. “You're the only person, who makes me feel like I’m not a mistake,” Sasuke repeated, sounding much quieter, and much, _much_ more annoyed. “Some of it is probably because you had to deal with all these weirdos, and some of it is because you're no saint yourself, so if I'm fine with your quirks and how messed up you are, then maybe you're fine with me too,” Sasuke confessed, his voice not really matching what he was saying because he was pretty much fuming. “Even my _brother_ made me feel like I’m never going to be good enough, and gods know he would've loved me even if I dropped a fucking nuclear bomb on every city in existence,” Sasuke confessed. Naruto cleared his throat.

“I want you too,” he croaked. He heard Sasuke let out a huge sigh, and then the man unglued himself from the wall, and moved closer.

“I still can't give you what you want,” he whispered.

“…it’s alright,” Naruto replied in a hushed tone.

“It's not,” Sasuke disagreed. “It's not fair to you,” he added. The blonde shrugged his shoulders and scuttled closer to Sasuke.

“It is kind of fair,” he replied. “I'll give you as much as I want, and you'll give me as much, as you want,” he argued.

“It's not about _want_ , it's about _can_ ,” Sasuke sighed.

“Nomenclature,” Naruto murmured. A soft gasp left his lips when he felt the weight of Sasuke's arm on his waist.

“Go back to sleep,” the man ordered. “Sorry for… waking you up before,” he mumbled out. Naruto snorted. “I really _am_ sorry,” Sasuke insisted. “If I knew there was a possibility I'd… I wouldn't have been here,” he muttered. “So I probably should _leave_ ,” he realized.

“Stay,” Naruto chuckled. “I promise I'll wake you up again if you _wake me up_ ,” he snickered. “Or maybe you'd rather just have me let you finish?” he laughed. Sasuke’s hand landed on his face and squashed his nose. “Kinky,” Naruto commented, his voice muffled by other man's fingers.

“Shut up,” Sasuke pleaded.

“I guess I should've packed my gag, I came here absolutely unprepared,” Naruto snorted.

“Get lost,” Sasuke groaned, slowly getting up from the bed, and kneeling over Naruto in the process. The blonde fixed his eyes on a rather boring desk, _far_ away from Sasuke because seeing Sasuke like _this_ was the last thing he needed. “What is it?” Sasuke inquired.

“You're _straddling_ me,” Naruto grunted.

“I can't even count how many times you've straddled _me_ ,” Sasuke breathed out, still standing over the blonde. “And besides, you're lying on your side, and I doubt you have a cock growing out of your hip,” he blurted out.

“I _don’t_ ,” Naruto informed him.

“Marvelous,” Sasuke commented as his weight settled on Naruto's side. “In this case I'm certain you won't mind me staying right where I am,” he added, sounding as if he struck a business deal.

“Sure,” Naruto huffed. “I'm glad you're comfortable.”

“Shouldn't you be looking at the person you're talking to?” Sasuke inquired.

“I'll pass,” the blonde blurted out with haste.

“…why?” Sasuke asked.

“Because you're a cocktease,” Naruto barked at him. “We both know that you don’t want anything to happen, so teasing me like this is just cruel,” he complained.

“You're sick, I doubt you'd even be able to deliver if I did want something to happen,” Sasuke sighed. Naruto narrowed his eyes, bit the inside of his cheek, muttered a curse under his breath, grabbed Sasuke by his hips to stabilize him, shifted underneath him, so now he was lying on his back, and thanked every god he's ever heard about for the thick comforter that was separating them. “And what _now_?” Sasuke questioned in a calm voice even though he should've been embarrassed and scurrying to his room.

“I didn't think this far,” Naruto barked in reply. “But at least I'm looking at you,” he pointed out. He did look. And it was a nice view, even despite the fact that Sasuke was not even nearly half as groomed as he usually was. He was sitting on Naruto, his hands resting on the mattress, slightly leaned forward, so his stupid bangs were hiding part of his face.

“You're throwing innuendos left and right, and _then_ it's as if someone turned you into stone,” Sasuke complained. “I have no idea how you've managed to talk anyone into having sex with you,” he said.

“Is this a hypothetical question or do you actually want to have sex with me?” Naruto asked back.

“You're _sick_ ,” Sasuke answered. “I doubt you'd be able to give me your top performance,” he added with a nasty smirk on his face.

“I kind of doubt it myself,” Naruto admitted. “But it's not like you have any comparison,” he gritted through his teeth. “Nevertheless, it's like I've said, you _don't_ want to have sex with me, this is all just shit-talking, and you should seriously go back to your side of the bed.”

“I've never said I didn't want it,” Sasuke disagreed, raising himself up but still kneeling over Naruto.

“You've also never said you wanted it,” Naruto replied with a sweet smile.

“And you've said you have a stupidly good self-control,” Sasuke retorted as he finally did move to his side of the bed. “Or _is_ there a point of no return?”

“No, there's not,” Naruto yapped back.

“Then what exactly are you so scared of?” Sasuke asked.

“That you'll realize you’re making a huge mistake when it's too late to take everything back,” the blonde blurted out. “Because you _do_ know that even though we can stop whenever, after one point it'll be too late anyways, right? And then we'll never talk of it again, you’ll want to forget me completely, and—”

“ _And_ you're being paranoid,” Sasuke interrupted him. “Do I really make an impression that I can't deal with—”

“Yes, _yes_ , you do,” Naruto barked.

“So far I've been doing pretty well when it comes to things we’ve done and are regretting that we’ve done them,” he argued.

“And yet we're regretting _all_ of them,” Naruto blurted out. “ _Why_ would I want to give you more things to regret?” he questioned.

“Why do you assume it'll be _me_ regretting it, and not you?” Sasuke breathed out.

“Am I like offending you by caring about you?” Naruto muttered.

“Yes,” the man answered without any hesitation. “Especially since so far it's been only _you_ regretting everything,” he added out of the blue.

“You've scolded me for touching you like twice in the last ten hours,” Naruto groaned. “ _Twice_ ,” he repeated. “And during both of these times I was _not_ trying to get myself off on this, so—”

“I've told you I don't like being _comforted_ like this,” Sasuke interrupted him, sounding as if he was speaking straight into his pillow. Naruto turned towards him just to find out that Sasuke’s face truly was buried in a pillow.

“I've also asked you if you want me to touch you, and you've only said that _I can_ do it,” Naruto continued.

“I do remember what we've talked about today,” Sasuke snapped.

“ _And_ I've asked you if you wanted to have sex with me, and, once again, you didn't reply to my question,” the blonde stated. “So yeah, until I hear you say that you _want_ it, I'm not doing anything,” he announced.

“Get a clue,” Sasuke barked into the pillow.

“Nope,” Naruto replied, turning on his other side. “ _Sweet dreams_ , Sasuke,” he murmured in a sing-a-song voice. He smiled when he felt Sasuke's finger flicking the back of his head. It seemed that the man was feeling better already, relaxed enough to waste time like this.

“Do you need a written permission only from me or are you making everyone—”

“I already have your permission,” Naruto pointed out. “But just because I can park my car somewhere, it doesn't necessarily mean that the owner of the place _wants_ me to park—”

“Do you really think I'm so dense you need to explain everything with an analogy?” Sasuke interrupted him.

“Hey, if you can't explain something in an easy way, it means you don't understand the topic,” the blonde stated in a calm voice. “And you _still_ haven't said whether you want it or not, and if you can't squeeze these simple words through your throat, you should probably wait until you _can_ ,” he lectured.

“I give up,” Sasuke barked.

“Okay,” Naruto agreed.

“Are you _serious_?” the man complained. “A few days ago you were ready to—”

“And I'm ready now too,” Naruto yawned in reply.

“Fuck you,” Sasuke sighed.

“You've missed the _I want to_ ,” Naruto snorted, turning towards the other man and throwing his arm over Sasuke's pleasantly warm body. “I think it'll be better if this time it's me spooning you, and not the other way around,” he laughed. “Or you might start humping me again. Who knew you've had so much sexual tension in you,” he commented.

“I can leave if you want,” Sasuke gritted his offer through his teeth.

“Nah, I don’t want it,” the blonde confessed. “You're warm, and I'm cold,” he pointed out.

“You don't feel cold,” Sasuke whispered.

“I _wish_ I didn't feel cold,” Naruto murmured back. He let out a soft gasp when Sasuke turned on his side, his face just a few inches away from Naruto’s, his hand on Naruto’s forehead.

“You should take something, I doubt it will go away on its own,” Sasuke commented, his breath caressing Naruto's skin. Naruto drew in a shaky breath of his own. Sasuke was affecting him way too hard. The blonde nervously licked his lips, wishing Sasuke's were pressed against them.

“Stop it,” he complained in a soft voice. Sasuke raised an eyebrow in a mute question as his heat was slowly seeping into Naruto's body. “Having you so close is pretty much a torture,” the blonde whined.

“I've told you that it doesn't have to be this way,” Sasuke replied as his hand smoothly moved onto Naruto’s cheek, leaving a tingling trail on his skin. “Your breathing got heavier,” he noticed, sounding sadistically amused, as the tips of his fingers brushed over Naruto's bottom lip, his thumb pressing against the lip and making a small dent in it. “From what I see, you want it,” Sasuke whispered when Naruto's breath hitched. “So I don’t know why you don't claim it,” he confessed, gently pushing his finger between Naruto's lips.

“Because I want you to want it too,” the blonde replied. Sasuke's thumb pulled on the corner of his lips, smearing a bit of his saliva on his cheek. His cock was already painfully hard, and Naruto _knew_ that if he moved even a little bit, it would brush against Sasuke.

“You've said you haven't come with… all those people,” Sasuke rasped. Naruto nodded. “Why?” the man questioned. “Earlier you were complaining that you haven't come in some time, so,” he paused, “I thought you needed it.”

“You didn't say that I can,” Naruto answered.

“What?” Sasuke asked.

“You've never said that I can cum,” the blonde explained in a feverish whisper, hoping he was making more sense this time. Judging from Sasuke's widened eyes, he wasn't.

“So when was the last time,” Sasuke started and suddenly paused, as if flustered, “how long has it been since the last time?” he reworded his question, tilting his head a little bit. Naruto gulped when he saw the pale neck stretched this close to him, this inviting.

“Over three weeks,” he rasped. Sasuke's fingers moved _lower_ , feeling the outline of Naruto's collar bone, gently, slowly, almost shyly.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Sasuke inquired, his voice suddenly deeper, more charged with emotion. His fingertips lingered at the height of the blonde's shoulders, as if afraid to move further down. Naruto took a deep breath, frantically trying to calm his racing heart. He could feel his pajama pants dampen as his cock was helplessly leaking precum, as if it was too full of it, as if it was overflowing, steadily, slowly, unavoidably.

“Yes,” Naruto admitted. Sasuke breathed out through his nose, and shifted a little as his hand disappeared under the cover, brushing against Naruto’s chest and stomach, his touch too light, and yet burning. “Are you certain you want it, Sasuke?” the blonde blurted out when Sasuke's fingers pulled on the hem of his pants.

“Quite certain,” the man answered. He shoved his hand into Naruto’s pants, his lips parting when his fingertips fluttered against the blonde's throbbing, painfully swollen shaft. Naruto's breath hitched as shy, straightened fingers pushed the rest of his foreskin down. He let out a faint moan when Sasuke slowly wrapped his hand around the blonde's aching cockhead. Naruto couldn't stop himself from bucking his hips forward despite his best efforts. “You're a masochist,” Sasuke commented, audibly trying to sound less nervous than he actually was. “You look as if you've been on edge for _hours_ , and I barely touched you,” he commented.

“I can't exactly help it,” Naruto whined. Sasuke sighed, and started slowly pumping the blonde's cock. His grip wasn't too firm, as if he thought Naruto's dick was made of glass, and would shatter if he was to wrap his fingers any tighter around the shaft. A soft gasp left Sasuke’s lips as Naruto leaked even more precum. “Sorry,” Naruto panted. His head and limbs weighed down on him, he was dizzy, he was cold, and then there was Sasuke's warm hand, and Naruto could swear he felt the other man's pulse, every single vein pulsating under the thin skin, buzzing. It was virtually _nothing_. Naruto knew Sasuke was barely doing anything, and yet it felt more intense than Naruto ever suspected to be possible.

“If you need to cum, just do it,” Sasuke breathed out. Naruto groaned as he leaked again. Everything was already soaked and slick. For some inexplicable reason, it felt both wrong and very, _very_ right, as if _this_ , being jerked off by Sasuke, and losing control for no reason whatsoever, was his destiny.

“Everything will be drenched,” Naruto warned, leaking again.

“We’ll be thinking about the mess later,” Sasuke whispered. “Don't hold off,” he ordered, and quickened his moves, giving Naruto’s cock a little twist every time his hand was close to its head. It was almost too rough, too painful when the raw, sensitive organ glided through Sasuke's palm, soaking it with its juices, rubbing against it, sometimes getting caught up in the dent of Sasuke's hand. Naruto pulled himself closer to the other man, ignoring the surprised noise that he’s made when the blonde bit into his shoulder to muffle his moans and heavy breathing.

“Fuck,” Naruto cursed, the word crushing into Sasuke's t-shirt and skin, unrecognizable, unintelligible. “ _Shit_ ,” Naruto rasped as his tired muscles contracted all at once. He didn't cum yet, though, or maybe he did but it was a dry orgasm, dry despite the fact that the precum was already leaving his cock in a steady if tiny trickle. His head felt empty, or as if someone somehow inserted a balloon in it, and was now inflating it until the pressure from the inside would blow his skull. Sasuke's body was emanating considerably more heat than before, and Naruto could feel that Sasuke too was hard, and his breathing was even heavier then when he had been humping Naruto in his sleep. “I want to feel you too,” the blonde half confessed, half begged. Sasuke let out an even heavier breath, stopped stroking Naruto for a few painfully long seconds, and then, when he resumed, his cock, much drier and less throbbing, far less desperate, was grinding against Naruto’s. Now Sasuke's grip was weaker, less firm, sometimes his hand would slide off of their cocks completely, and Naruto could swear that both of their sleeping t-shirts were damp at the bottom edge, so damp that one could probably wring them. He was a panting mess, pretty much lost in pleasure, unable to think straight. He was covered in cold sweat, his pajamas clinging to his body, they were both soaked in his precum, and it was probably all his fault, and Sasuke hated mess. “Sorry,” Naruto whispered. Sasuke didn't reply, not verbally at least because his trembling lips brushed against Naruto’s forehead, planting a small kiss, and then Sasuke _moaned_ , and it sounded as if someone tore the sound out of his throat by force, as if the man failed at stifling it.

Naruto pulled himself away from Sasuke's shoulder, his right hand cupping the back of the other man's head, and pressed his lips against Sasuke’s. He had to silence him, he had to silence himself, they both had to swallow the other’s voice, drink it, let it fill their bodies, not letting even one sound get out of their cocoon. Naruto's teeth hit against Sasuke’s when he opened his mouth.

“I'm getting close,” the man rasped. Naruto moaned in reply, hoping that Sasuke would be able to make sense out of it, translate the hot air vibrating in his mouth and throat into the _fuck yes please_ , which Naruto wished he was able to say. The blonde yelped in surprise when Sasuke removed his hand from their cocks to grab Naruto by his right side, and force him to lie on his back. Within seconds the man climbed on the blonde, his cock grinding against Naruto’s, one of his hands buried in the blond hair, the other squeezing Naruto's hip as he continued the kiss.

Naruto’s legs squeezed Sasuke's sides, reveling in how his bony hips were biting into the flesh of Naruto's inner thighs, how their cocks were crushed between their stomachs, rubbing against their skin and the fabric of their shirts, which was providing almost too much friction. He was certain that his cock was going to be sore afterwards. At this point he was aware of the fact that the pleasure they were seemingly both drowning in was at least half pain. And yet they were unable to stop.

Naruto arched his back as another wave of pleasure washed over him, Sasuke's hand _somehow_ worked its way between Naruto's shoulder blades, pressing the two of them even closer together. The blonde pulled his lips away from Sasuke’s to finally catch a breath, a thin rope of saliva connecting his bottom lip and Sasuke's chin. He bit on his own hand to stop himself from screaming when Sasuke bit into his neck, his teeth scraping against the tensed tendon. Naruto almost cried when he felt Sasuke erupt, spilling his seed all over Naruto’s cock and stomach.

“ _Just fucking cum already_ ,” Sasuke hissed, his heated breath hitting against Naruto’s abused neck. The blonde let out a soft curse when his trembling legs pretty much crushed Sasuke in their embrace, his back arching, and head leaned backwards, his cum working its way through his urethra, violently expanding it with its sheer volume.

“Fuck,” Naruto breathed out as his body convulsed, spitting out his thick cum all over his and Sasuke’s stomachs. Sasuke was already lying limp on him, almost lifeless save for his heavy breathing, his parted lips glued to Naruto's shoulder, dampening the blonde's sleeve with saliva.

“Now I'm definitely going to be sick,” Sasuke sighed, and shifted a little, as if he simply wanted to make himself more comfortable. Naruto had half expected him to immediately leave for the shower but no, he remained where he's been, on Naruto, between his legs. “And you’re still hard,” the man complained, sounding more amused than annoyed.

Naruto's lips cracked in a tired smile as the buzzing in his veins was slowly, finally subsiding. His hands landed on Sasuke's back, and he gently caressed the other man, feeling tiny bumps of his spine and the protruding shoulder blades under his fingertips. Sasuke's skin seemed to be covered in a thin film of sweat. It felt surprisingly _right_. Naruto groaned when he realized that the rather unpleasant pulsing in his neck, in the spot Sasuke had bitten into, probably wasn’t going to go away on its own.

“And you’re a biter,” he whined, massaging the slowly swelling skin.

“Sorry,” Sasuke replied. He didn't sound sorry, he sounded content. And it was a good thing, Naruto decided, coming to the terms with the fact that he was probably going to sport a bruise, and returning to rubbing soothing circles on Sasuke's back. He frowned when Sasuke planted a soft kiss on the hurting spot. “I might've bitten too hard,” Sasuke admitted, this time actually sounding sorry.

“Whatever,” Naruto yawned. “Worth it,” he added with a chuckle. Sasuke's body relaxed in his arms. It was all perfect. Too perfect. And it had to end soon, and they shouldn't have done it, and he shouldn't have let this happen. The blonde cursed under his breath, forcing himself to focus on the present moment. He was with Sasuke. They've just made each other cum, and Sasuke wasn’t freaking out, and Naruto was Sasuke's first, and Naruto usually didn't care but he _did_ feel possessive of Sasuke, no matter how hard he was trying to explain to himself how awful it was, and how much he had no right to be this possessive of anybody, and how little sense it all made. “You still haven't said that you want to have sex with me,” he whined.

“I do,” Sasuke sighed. “I believe it's been pretty obvious,” he murmured. Naruto opened his mouth to lecture him but eventually gave up. They could have that talk on some other time. Not now. Now he had to make Sasuke feel cared for and loved, because there was a chance that Sasuke needed this kind of reassurance, and… Naruto stopped moving altogether. He thought _loved_. That Sasuke maybe needed to feel _loved_. The blonde took a deep breath, his heart suddenly speeding up and aching. Sasuke was going to leave and disappear from his life altogether. He had no time for any deeper feelings and relationships, and he had stated that _days_ ago. He had even said that Naruto was supposed to like random hookups, and it kind of implied that he treated Naruto like a random hookup, and he had said that they were never going to be together just moments ago.

So Sasuke wanted only sex.

And Naruto had been aware of it from the very beginning. Hell, he had said that it was alright and fine because they were both giving as much, as they wanted. The only issue was that he had more to give than Sasuke wished to accept. The blonde sucked in a shaky breath, suddenly regretting _everything_.

“What's wrong?” Sasuke asked in a quiet, soft voice. Naruto shook his head to let the man know that everything was in order because everything _was_ in order. He _had_ known what he was getting into, Sasuke was almost explicitly sincere with him. “What's wrong?” Sasuke repeated the question.

“I'm just a little lightheaded,” Naruto lied. The other man let out a small sigh and got up to kneel between Naruto's legs, eying the damages. He's been right, Naruto _was_ still hard. Their t-shirts were drenched at the bottom edges, and so were their sleeping pants, and their stomachs and cocks were covered in a thick layer of cum. Sasuke shook his head, and pulled his shirt off to wipe them dry. And he started with Naruto, and Naruto had no idea why but he found it oddly charming. It made it look as if Sasuke cared. And maybe he did, even if just a little. It wasn’t as if Naruto could ask for or deserved more. He hid his face in the open palms of his hands, rubbing his cheeks to make himself focus on the present moment.

“Have I done something wrong?” Sasuke asked. Naruto shook his head. “I can leave if you want,” the man offered after a longer while of uncomfortable silence. “And not only the room, I can just… leave—”

“Don't be ridiculous,” Naruto interrupted him. “Sorry, I'm just feeling sick, it has nothing to do with you,” he blurted out. “Not to mention that we came here in my car, and unless you want to walk through woods at night, there's no way for you to leave,” he added.

“I could borrow your car to get to the closest town,” Sasuke pointed out. “If you want me to leave, I _can_ ,” he whispered.

“Why would I want you to leave?” Naruto barked at him.

“I guess you didn't want to go this far with me,” Sasuke whispered. “Sorry for not noticing it earlier, I should've paid more attention—”

“I don’t regret it,” Naruto huffed.

“You do,” Sasuke disagreed. “I've never intended to make you feel used, and—”

“I don’t feel _used_ ,” the blonde protested, his voice betraying him completely. Sasuke rested his weight on his heels, hugging himself, and looking utterly lost. Naruto forced himself to smile in a reassuring way because it was kind of the first time for Sasuke, and Naruto was completely ruining it, and he had no right to ruin it.

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Sasuke asked in a hushed tone.

“I'm simply lightheaded, it will pass,” Naruto grunted.

“Then rest your legs against the wall, you'll feel better,” Sasuke sighed. “Or I can hold them for you if you're comfortable with me touching you,” he offered. Naruto sighed back, resting his linked legs against Sasuke’s right shoulder. It actually _did_ make him feel better, and he had no idea that he hadn’t been completely lying about being dizzy. Sasuke was neither moving nor saying anything for the longest time, surprisingly at peace with being reduced to a leg rest. “After you'll feel better, I'll find you some fresh clothes to sleep in, and go to the other room to let you rest,” Sasuke finally murmured. “And if you feel like it, we will talk tomorrow,” he added. “If you won't feel like it, I'll leave,” he continued. “Sorry for everything, I shouldn't have—”

“Stop it, it's not your fault,” Naruto interrupted him. “And you're not going anywhere, I've invited you here, and I'm very happy that you've accepted the invitation,” he stated. He cleared his throat. “This thing,” he whispered, gesturing at himself, “it’s all my fault, alright? So don't worry about it—”

“It's _not_ your fault,” Sasuke hissed at him. “You've told me _no_ at least three times, and it was stupid of me to assume that you wanted to make sure _I_ won't regret it, I shouldn't have—”

“No, no, no, _no_ , don't beat yourself up about this,” Naruto yapped. “I'm seriously not worth it—”

“You _are_ ,” Sasuke growled. “And you’re worth much more than this,” he added. Naruto blinked his eyes to chase the unwanted tears away because he wasn't really used to hearing anything like this, and hearing things like this was apparently more painful than hearing that he was absolutely worthless because he knew that both weren't true but it was much easier to deem the latter untrue than coming to the terms with the fact that he didn’t deserve to be treated how he _wanted_ to be treated. Because he did want to hear that Sasuke has thought everything through, realized that Naruto was exactly what he's been looking for and missing in his life, and that now it was finally the time for both of them to be happy together. And he wasn't going to hear anything of the sort because there was no way that Naruto's presence could compensate Sasuke for _everything else_. Sasuke wanted his father to accept and love him, and it wasn't going to happen if Naruto was going to be by his side. It was possible that it wasn’t going to happen no matter what but it was absolutely impossible if Naruto was to be a part of the equation. And that was a fact.

Another one was that even if Sasuke was going to abandon the insane _marry Sakura no matter what_ plan, there were countless better candidates to take her place. Better educated, more powerful, less messed up. Ones that could offer Sasuke support and not need it. Ones, that weren't desired and stalked by crazy psychos. And Sasuke simply needed a push in the right direction to be happy like he deserved to be, and right now Naruto was pretty much punishing Sasuke for finally and fully coming to terms with his sexuality. He should've said he hasn’t cum this hard in ages, and that should've been _it_.

“I haven't cum this hard in ages, you're natural at this,” he forced himself to laugh, fanning himself to make it all more believable.

“You're not _this_ good at lying,” Sasuke sighed. “Is there something you need from me that I'm not giving you?” he inquired.

“Yes, unconditional love and complete devotion,” Naruto barked. “But since you're all out of these, I’ll just take another orgasm,” he blabbered. “Not now, though, I'm exhausted,” he yawned. Sasuke’s hand gently wrapped around his ankle.

“If all I wanted was a guy to have sex with, I wouldn't have been waiting _this_ long,” Sasuke whispered.

“I'm honored,” Naruto blurted out.

“I do care about you,” Sasuke hissed.

“I'm seriously honored,” Naruto repeated with slightly less zeal than earlier. Sasuke gave him an angry look.

“And I wouldn't have done _this_ ,” the man muttered, looking embarrassed, “if I planned to do it only once,” he concluded.

“I applaud you for your libido but I must refuse because at the moment I'm tired,” Naruto retorted. “But sure, we may continue after I get some sleep,” he offered. Sasuke frowned upon hearing it, his eye twitched, and he opened his mouth, probably to tell Naruto to get lost but he promptly shut it when he heard a doorbell. The blonde jerked up to a sitting position, having removed his legs from Sasuke's shoulders, and crouched next to the window. “Can I look?” he questioned. Sasuke slowly nodded, so Naruto pulled the curtains a little to the side. A car was parked in front of the gate. A rather common car. Its lights were lit, doors opened, and there was one person standing outside of it but Naruto couldn't see too many details, so the only thing he did notice was that the person was short. Possibly shorter than Gaara. The blonde heard the lights being switched on in the corridor, and then there were soft footsteps. He let go of the curtain, planning to put on some clothes and follow his mom but when he turned his head, he saw Sasuke, and he looked _exactly_ like he had looked like this morning. “Sasuke, everything's fine,” he murmured. The man shook his head, and plopped down on his ass. Naruto kneeled in front of him, ready to pat his shoulder and whisper some more soothing words but then he remembered that Sasuke didn't like being comforted. The blonde sighed, switched a table lamp on, crawled on the floor towards his bag, pulled out sweatpants and a loose hoodie, and put them over his still damp and dirty pajamas. He stood up, switched the lamp off, and approached the doors, giving Sasuke one final look. “I'll see who it is, and return here in ten minutes tops,” he promised. “Probably less,” he added. Sasuke didn't acknowledge the words in any way, he kept on looking at the mattress, his eyes dead and empty. “I'd much rather stay here with you but I can't leave my mom alone,” the blonde explained himself. He waited a few seconds for any sign that Sasuke was going to answer but the man said nothing and didn't even move. With a heavy heart, Naruto left the room.

The house doors were slightly ajar, and the car light was seeping into the entryway. He pushed the doors open, and walked towards his mom.

“I don't have any available rooms,” she stated in a calm voice. Naruto stood behind her, and covered some of his eyes with his hand to see anything despite the blinding lights.

“You fucker,” the blonde snarled, moving in front of his mom. The redheaded guy raised an eyebrow, and sent him a mocking smirk.

“Maybe you'll let me room with you, Naruto,” the man chuckled.

“If you won't leave in the next five minutes, I'm calling the police,” Naruto's mom announced, grabbed his wrist, turned on her heel and pulled him towards the doors. “Naruto, we're leaving,” she hissed when he refused to move.

“I'm going to report you after this weekend is over,” Naruto informed the redhead. “You can tell Gaara that he is going to be reported too. And tell him that _this_ is the last thing I'm ever saying to him,” he continued, slightly tilting his head, and glaring at the slim man.

“I thought you've enjoyed yourself,” the guy snorted. It didn't seem as if he cared about the impeding lawsuit but it did look as if he gave up on spending the night here. “Give me a call, if you ever want a reprise,” the guy laughed, waving at Naruto and entering his car. He didn't say anything more, he simply slammed the car doors, and drove away.

“And who exactly was this?” Kushina asked, sounding worried. “Do you need my help?” she questioned, not even giving Naruto enough time to reply. “And if Sasuke thinks I'd accept this guy as my guest, you must be telling _awful_ things about me,” she complained. “It was obvious that this guy is shady,” she grunted. “What did he want with you?” she demanded to know, closing and locking the doors behind them.

“I've only ever praised you,” he assured his mom. “And this guy… he was somewhat like a honeypot, I guess,” he confessed.

“He _what_?!” she growled. “I wish I threw a rock at him,” she howled.

“Same,” Naruto chuckled. “But it's probably for the better, I mean, I am going to sue the living shit out of him, so it's probably better if we’re the paragons of virtue,” he sighed, cracking his knuckles.

“You're trembling,” she noticed, her hand flying towards his head. Luckily for him, he managed to intercept it in his own.

“No wonder, it’s cold outside,” he replied, giving her hand a quick peck and letting go of it. “Later today I'll explain everything, now I should probably go back to Sasuke,” he said, turning towards the stairs.

“How is he taking it?” she asked.

“Better than you'd expect,” he answered. “But he's not used to it, so it's still pretty bad,” he sighed. He heard her click her tongue.

“Well, go to him then,” she hurried him. “I'll make you some tea and bring it in a few minutes,” she added.

“I think it'll be better if it'll be just Sasuke and I,” he whispered in an apologetic tone. “He kind of hates it when people care about him,” he grunted. “So don't worry, I've got this,” he said, absolutely certain that he was as far from being able to handle the situation, as it was only humanly possible. He climbed the stairs, knocked on the doors and said out loud that he was entering. Unsurprisingly, there was no answer. He entered the room anyways, only to find it empty. “ _Sasuke_ ,” he hissed. “Where the fuck are you?!” he whined.

He rubbed his face, sending his bed a begging look, and left the room to enter the one Sasuke was supposed to be sleeping in. It was empty too. Naruto took a deep breath. There was only one exit, and so Sasuke must've been still in the house, and his mom was downstairs, so she would probably notice a grown ass man sneaking out, and Naruto had no idea _why_ he even had to search for Sasuke right now. Everything was fine. The blonde opened the bathroom in the room. It was empty too. He returned to his bedroom and pulled on the bathroom doors. They were locked, and he's never supposed he'd find relief in finding a closed bathroom. “Sasuke, just tell me that you're fine in there because otherwise I'm going to assume the worst, and knock the doors open,” Naruto sighed and slumped on the floor, resting his back against the wall.

“I'm fine,” Sasuke barked in reply, and his voice was coming from an equally low height.

“It was that guy I… met earlier,” Naruto informed the other man. “He's probably on his way to hell now,” he added, shrugging his shoulders. There was no answer. “I'm glad he came,” he continued in a calm voice. “It means that he was desperate,” he clarified. “And that nobody else is following us, because if there was someone else or some other way around it, he wouldn't just knock on my mom's doors, I mean, it's insane, right?” he concluded.

Sasuke didn't reply. Naruto pulled his knees closer to his chest. He _knew_ Sasuke was just behind the wall but he still felt lonely. He rested his forehead on his linked arms, pushing his cold hands under his armpits to stop himself from shaking with cold. He sat there without moving for what must've been at least half an hour since his mom managed to return to her bedroom already, and yet there was no sound coming from the bathroom.

“It's curious that you hide in places I find most scary,” Naruto commented, mostly to fill the choking silence. “But I hope you do know that I'd follow you regardless,” he whispered.

“What for?” Sasuke hissed at him. The corners of Naruto's lips raised in a small, victorious smile.

“I want you to be happy,” the blonde confessed.

“I can't make _you_ happy,” Sasuke barked.

“I don’t agree but even if I did—I don't care,” Naruto replied. “Especially since I brought you mostly misery,” he sighed.

“Why did you agree to have sex with me?” Sasuke demanded to know.

“I thought you wanted it,” Naruto answered.

“Not like this,” Sasuke snarled.

“We have plenty of time to experiment,” the blonde offered. He heard something heavy hitting the doors and flinched at the unexpected sound.

“I've never wanted to hurt you, and it sounds like you don't even care,” Sasuke complained.

“It's not like this,” Naruto mumbled out. “I wanted it from the beginning till the end,” he assured the other man. “And then I remembered I'm just something temporary,” he sighed. “You're going to go back home and do your boring shit, and then you'll forget all about me or you'll only remember me because of this mess,” he stated. “And I should've gotten used to this already, I mean… I do know I'm just a temporary solution, and I usually don't want to be anything more but now it's been kind of difficult, and this is why I'm being all pissy,” he explained. “So it's _not_ your fault.”

“I feel like you're ignoring what I'm telling you on purpose,” Sasuke complained. “I thought we were going to continue seeing each other even _after_ I'd go back home. You did invite me here for August, so if you acting dense is your way of making me understand that _this_ is the last time, then me being dense is your fault,” the man gritted through his teeth, his nails scraping against the tiled bathroom floor.

“You've said you were never going to be with me,” the blonde reminded Sasuke. “I do listen to what you're saying.”

“Not close enough,” Sasuke barked. “You've missed the _officially_ bit,” he hissed. “I do understand if you don’t agree to this arrangement, but don't act like all I've ever wanted from you was _sex_. I _can_ live without it,” he complained.

“…you’ve never worded it like _this_ ,” Naruto mumbled out.

“I thought the offer to be offending, and you've said yourself that you're only interested in an official relationship,” Sasuke grumbled. Naruto took a deep breath, and leaned backwards until his head was resting against the wall.

“So you're planning to cheat on Sakura with me for an extended period of time?” he questioned.

“Are you more fine with cheating if it happens only once in a while?” Sasuke sighed. “Is there a period of time that you have to wait to make it more okay?”

“I guess not,” Naruto admitted. “But you do know that she will know, right? She's not naïve,” he pointed out.

“I don’t want to marry her,” Sasuke whispered.

“Then don't,” the blonde advised. “And I'm not going to push you out of the closet,” he promised, pushing his fingers into the little holes at the bottom of the bathroom doors. He smiled when he felt warm fingers brushing against his. “I don’t really understand why you prefer to stay closeted but for now I'm… fine with it,” he said. “So I'll respect it, and it's not only because you've paid me to—”

“I've only paid you for the expanses,” Sasuke reminded him.

“Right,” Naruto realized. “And I still can't do shit,” he snorted. “I've always wanted to be the guy, who yells _stop the wedding_ when the priest says that if anybody knows why these two shouldn't be together, they should say it now or be silent forever,” he laughed.

“You've watched too many movies,” Sasuke whispered back.

“I wouldn't do that to you,” Naruto blurted out.

“I've never heard that line during an actual wedding,” Sasuke sighed.

“I did but it goes differently,” the blonde breathed out. “The sense is the same, though. And it does appear rather rarely _but_ you could ask to have it in your ceremony, and then I could be dramatic, and steal you away,” he proposed. “ I'd carry you out bridal style,” he offered.

“I thought you didn't want more muscles on your arms,” Sasuke replied. “And you've wanted to be wearing the bridal gown,” he reminded Naruto. He was slowly starting to sound normal again.

“I can do both,” the blonde murmured. “And I'm willing to make some sacrifices, so I believe I _can_ carry you from the altar to the car. Once.”

“ _Car_. A surprisingly boring choice for a daring escape,” Sasuke commented.

“A hot air balloon then,” Naruto corrected himself.

“My father likes these,” Sasuke sighed. “He was trying to teach me how to pilot then but I was awful at it,” he continued. “Itachi was, obviously, a prodigy.”

“A chariot then,” Naruto corrected himself again. “And you've never told me anything about hot air balloons,” he scolded Sasuke. “This sounds like something your best friend should've known.”

“Nobody ever mentions it,” Sasuke replied. “It was my father's and Itachi’s thing. One time, Itachi told me he hated flying,” the man chuckled. It wasn’t a happy chuckle. “That he was afraid of heights, and that he didn't trust the hot air balloons even one bit,” he sighed. “But he still was going with my father every time,” he concluded.

“So was there a hot air balloon incident or—”

“Of course not,” Sasuke snapped. “Itachi was… sick,” he muttered.

“Sorry,” Naruto whispered.

“It's fine,” Sasuke breathed out. “Let's go to sleep,” he proposed. Naruto made an affirmative noise, and stood up, so Sasuke could leave the bathroom. When he did, Naruto shot him a glance to make sure that everything was more or less alright. Sasuke’s eyes weren't puffy, and while yes, he did look like shit, he looked better than when Naruto's left the room, and that was a victory in itself. Sasuke must've noticed Naruto's curious eyes because he combed his hair with his fingers in a futile attempt to make himself look less miserable.

“We should probably change,” Naruto pointed out, taking off his sweatpants and the hoodie off his dirty pajamas. Sasuke nodded, hit the light switch, opened his bag, and took out some fresh clothes in a matter of seconds. Then he disappeared in the bathroom, and Naruto realized that he's never seen Sasuke naked, and that he probably should start packing himself like Sasuke because when Sasuke left the bathroom, already refreshed and changed, Naruto was still rummaging through his bag.

“You're hopeless,” the man commented, throwing himself on the bed. Naruto raised his head just so Sasuke could see him rolling his eyes. “The saddest thing is that despite all this shit, I'm still glad that I've met you,” Sasuke confessed out of the blue, and it sounded mostly like a serious complaint, one that would be usually followed by _can I speak to your manager_ , and Naruto didn't even have a manager.

“Me too,” Naruto agreed, _finally_ fishing out something he could sleep in. Sasuke gave him a satisfied nod, and Naruto went to the bathroom because they apparently weren't changing clothes in front of themselves, at least not yet—

Naruto smiled to himself.

 _Not yet_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> who ordered lemons (✧≖‿ゝ≖)  
> and why are they rotten （・∩・）


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ʘ‿ʘ

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes, greeted by dimmed sunlight falling into the room through the pastel curtains. He was lying on his stomach, and at least half of Naruto's body was resting on his back, radiating way too much heat, unpleasantly heavy and hard. And yet it felt oddly safe. The blonde's breath, somewhat raggedy and raspy, sometimes whistling, was hitting against his back, and it was obvious that the man was calm and relaxed, sleeping as if he didn't have anything to worry about. Sasuke turned his head to look around the room. It looked rather impersonal and kind of girly.

They were sleeping on a small double bed, the floor was wooden, covered with a boring, gray carpet. There was an empty desk standing next to the opposite wall, and there was a chair, both wooden. A bookcase, also almost empty save for a clock and some baskets on the bottom shelf. A wardrobe. And that was it. The walls were painted light green, the comforter and some of the pillows were in white, cotton covers, and the smaller pillow cases had a rose print on them. It wasn’t exactly his style but he had to admit that the room did look cozy.

Naruto shifted in his sleep, his hair tickling the nape of Sasuke's neck.

“You're awake,” the man mumbled out in a hushed tone.

“Yeah,” Sasuke admitted.

“How was your night? You've been turning quite a lot today,” Naruto yawned. Sasuke closed his eyes. He was rested. He didn't remember the dreams he was having but he supposed they could've been nightmares.

“Sorry, I don’t usually do it,” he replied.

“It's fine,” Naruto whispered, rolling off Sasuke's back. Then, judging by the sounds, he drank some water that from a glass that was standing on the floor next to bed. “I didn’t mind it, I was just worried that you couldn't sleep,” the man said, now sounding somewhat less sick.

“I'm fine,” Sasuke assured the blonde. He turned on his other side to look at the man, who sent him a goofy smile, rubbing his eyes. “Your neck looks awful,” Sasuke commented.

“Not my fault,” Naruto snorted, lying on his back, and burying himself under the comforter. “How bad is it? I kind of forgot to check it out in the mirror yesterday,” he laughed, turning on his side and stretching his neck, so Sasuke could take a better look.

“It's red, and the skin is scraped,” Sasuke informed him. “But I don’t think you have a bruise.”

“You don’t even sound guilty,” Naruto whined.

“Sorry,” Sasuke mumbled out. “What about your mom—”

“Oh, she'll be _thrilled_ ,” Naruto muttered. “I won't hear the end of it. I kind of have a ban on having sex when she's home, so _thank you_ , Sasuke,” he chuckled. “And I doubt I'll be able to bullshit my way out of this,” he complained. “But whatever, I still stand by what I've said last night. Worth it,” he laughed.

“I can keep you company while you're grounded,” Sasuke offered.

“We'll have to wash these covers when she goes shopping,” Naruto murmured. “But I have no turtlenecks, so I have absolutely no idea what to do about the bite mark,” he howled. “I've left all of my makeup home,” he added.

“Use hers,” Sasuke advised. The blonde smiled at him, looking relaxed despite all that complaining.

“This is another no-no,” he whispered. “Just admit that you want to get me grounded. I can't wait to see how _proud_ she'll be of me. I mean, she knows I used to work for you, so she knows that you've either had someone or still have someone, and now she'll learn that her only son is a homewrecker,” he continued, a faint smile still lingering on his face, as if he wasn't _really_ bothered.

“I guess she's not going to like me,” Sasuke sighed.

“Just give her some time, I didn't like you at first either,” Naruto snorted. “But I did warm up to you,” he murmured, and his hand somehow managed to find Sasuke's under the comforter. “You're surprisingly considerate,” he said. “So I have no idea why you've decided to get me into so much trouble,” he snickered.

“Revenge for getting me into trouble,” Sasuke supplied with a soft sigh. Naruto stopped smiling. “So what is this place exactly?” Sasuke inquired to change the topic.

“People come here to relax,” Naruto answered. “Usually during spring and summer, sometimes during winter if there's snow. Nothing much is going on in autumn though,” he continued. “My mom has some sheep and rabbits, but they are mostly decoration. I can show you if you want, they're pretty cute,” he offered.

“And she's working here all alone?” Sasuke asked.

“Fuck no,” the blonde snorted. Sasuke smiled in reply. It seemed that Naruto was already thinking about something more pleasant. “I know you haven’t seen much but the place is huge,” the man clarified. “People come here to work during the season, and they stay in these rooms. But since the season is dead, the rooms are empty. A few guys come twice a week to help my mom now but during summer there's people everywhere,” he concluded. “Usually students. Fun to drink with,” he added.

“But you didn't grow up in here,” Sasuke whispered.

“No, my mom moved here when I went to university,” Naruto replied. “She saved some money to pay for it but I've told her I'll take care of myself, so she should invest into something _she_ wanted to do, so after some coercing she took a loan, and bought this place. Back then there was only this house but now there's six big guest houses, a camping spot, and I guess it paid off,” he explained. “It was more difficult at first, back then mom had to do some freelancing to pay for everything but now it’s great.”

“So are you going to take it over one day?” Sasuke asked. Naruto gave him a weirded out look.

“No, why? It's nice to come here every once in a while but I don’t think I could actually _live_ here,” he answered. “I know she was complaining a lot yesterday but she actually loves it here,” he added. “And she does enjoy the autumn here too, she has time to rest and read a book or whatever. And she has friends, so she's not exactly lonely in here,” he said.

“And I still have no idea whether you're lying or not,” Sasuke sighed, stretching his limbs. He was feeling… relaxed. More at ease, not so alert and threatened.

“I kind of don't have a reason to lie to you anymore,” the blonde pointed out. “And what I've said earlier, after that dinner with your parents… everything except the pothead bit was true but at that point I was running out of things to say,” he chuckled. “I _did_ smoke weed but not too much,” he clarified. “I was kind of too busy to do it. First I had to help mom out at home, then I had to earn enough to support myself, and then I became even more busy. I don’t remember when was the last time I was seriously drunk. People might need me at weirdest times, so I can't exactly get too crazy,” he explained.

“So if one of your previous clients called you right now, you'd have to leave?” Sasuke inquired.

“They can't _call_ me. I receive their messages but they go straight to my laptop, so it's impossible for them to just make me drop everything and rush to their rescue. But if they need me to appear at some family meeting, I usually agree,” Naruto answered. “Unless they seem crazy,” he added.

“And what are you going to do now?” Sasuke questioned. “You've wanted to leave the country.”

“What is it with you and the questions today?” Naruto whined, letting out a soft sigh. He didn't sound annoyed though. Mildly amused perhaps.

“You've asked me your questions, so now you might as well return the favor,” Sasuke argued.

“Fine,” Naruto relented. “Now it's going to be the lawsuit, and I kind of hope that by the time I'm done with it, the things between us will be more… that I'll know what… well, I hope you'll be _officially_ single by then,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes. “Assuming that we'll still be… doing _this_. Whatever _this_ is,” he sighed. Sasuke closed his eyes. He was feeling guilty. Maybe he was being selfish. He was probably asking for way too much of Naruto, who could've been spending his time in a more productive way than being Sasuke's dirty secret.

“If you're doing _this_ for me, don't,” Sasuke finally whispered, sending the other man a concerned look. Naruto's fingers intertwined with his. “I'm serious,” Sasuke insisted. “When you decide that I'm limiting you, just tell me and we’ll stop.”

“ _When_ ,” Naruto repeated, drawling the word. “If,” he corrected Sasuke. “And vice versa,” he sighed. “You've killed the mood twice already,” he complained, letting out a laugh, which sounded forced.

“It's worse for you than it is for me,” Sasuke pointed out, ignoring the last comment. “And I don’t want you to regret it.”

“Then don’t make me regret it,” Naruto replied, giving him a small smile. “And, you know Sasuke, if you think this through, you'll realize that it's worse if she divorces you because you were cheating on her with me than if you've called off the wedding,” he commented. “And trust me, she _will_ find out, I mean, she already has her suspicions, so—”

“And now it's _you_ , who's killing the mood,” Sasuke breathed out, turning on his back, and glaring at the ceiling. Nevertheless, he couldn't say that Naruto wasn't right. Because Naruto _was_ right. More right than Sasuke’s ever thought to be possible, and, for fuck's sake, it wasn't the first time Naruto was right, it did happen earlier, on a several occasions, and Sasuke wasn't certain why he was even surprised.

“Isn't this a great way of starting the day?” Naruto snorted. “C'mon, I'll make you eat something,” he decided, rolling off the bed, and pulling on Sasuke's arm. Sasuke unhappily relented, his stomach still squeezed. He's passed the point of being hungry, now he was only feeling nauseous.

He watched Naruto pulling on a thick sweater, and trudged after him. Every window they've passed was covered with curtains or drapes, and Sasuke suddenly felt weird because of it. Naruto's mom did it to make him feel more at ease, and Naruto's mom knew him since yesterday evening. They didn't even talk, not really. And yet she knew he was being paranoid. And she decided that it was easier to drown the house in darkness than have him simply deal with it.

“Boys,” the woman exclaimed from the kitchen.

“Hey mom,” Naruto yawned, entering the room and opening the fridge.

“Good morning,” Sasuke mumbled out. He didn't remember when was the last time someone referred to him as a _boy_. He stood in the doorway, uncertain whether he should take a seat, offer Naruto help, make some small talk or—

“If you liked pancakes, I would've made you pancakes,” the blonde sighed. “But I guess pancakes aren't your thing. Eggs it is,” he decided.

“Sit down, Naruto,” his mom ordered him, putting away the book she was reading (judging from the cover, it was a badly written adventure book). “What's that on your neck?” she questioned in a terrified voice as she stood up, her hands flying straight towards the big red spot on Naruto’s neck. She clicked her tongue with dissatisfaction when he tilted his head, trying to get away from her prying fingers. “It looks inflamed,” she commented. She opened a cupboard next to the sink, and pulled out a  small bottle of peroxide. “Don't you know that you need to treat human bites?” she whined, making the blonde bend over the sink, and pouring the peroxide over his neck. It started foaming, and Sasuke wished he was at Gaara’s. Then the woman's fingers felt Naruto's neck and forehead, and Sasuke knew he was screwed. “Don't bite my son,” she barked without even turning her head towards Sasuke.

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke blurted out.

“It's not your fault,” Naruto sighed.

“ _You have a fever_ ,” his mom disagreed with him. “He gave you a _fever_ ,” she muttered, sounding as if Sasuke committed a capital offense, and Sasuke actually did feel as if he's committed a capital offense, and was ready to turn himself in.

“He _didn't_ ,” Naruto protested, making a distressed noise as his mom poured even more peroxide over the bite mark.

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke repeated.

“I had fever _before_ ,” the blonde sighed, straightening his back, and covering his wound with his hand. “ _And_ you've ruined my favorite sweater,” he complained, feeling it with his fingers. Naruto’s _favorite sweater_ was an orange disaster, and Sasuke felt like he should've thanked Naruto's mom for ruining it but he was rather uncertain if this was the best cause of action.

“What do you mean you had fever before?” the woman demanded to know, pushing Naruto onto the kitchen chair. “You mean you _drove_ like this? Sasuke, you've let him _drive_ like this?!”

“Sasuke didn't know,” Naruto lied, and it was a very weak lie.

“I'm very disappointed with you, Sasuke,” the woman announced.

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke repeated for the umpteenth time because he had no idea what else he could say.

“Sasuke, it's _not_ your fault,” Naruto sighed. “ _I_ told you to go and take a nap, so it's all _my_ fault,” he stated. “Give him a break, mom.”

“Is it too much to expect that you'll take a good care of my son when you apparently know him well enough to _bite_ him?” the woman asked, narrowing her eyes, and tilting her head towards Sasuke.

“Of course not,” Sasuke hastily replied. “It's my fault, I misjudged the—”

“You were pretty much falling asleep behind the wheel,” Naruto interrupted him.

“You were driving my son like _that_?!”

“Yes, I—”

“Let's just _stop_ , alright?” Naruto howled. “It's morning, we’re all alive, nobody wanted anything bad to happen, and we can't change anything by talking about it,” he argued. “So let's just eat breakfast and relax,” he suggested.

“Fine,” his mom huffed. “You still shouldn't have bitten—”

“I'm sorry—”

“I seriously don't mind it,” Naruto interrupted both his mom and Sasuke. The woman gave Sasuke an evil eye, and started rummaging through cabinets, taking out eggs, milk and flour. “Mom, don't make pancakes—”

“You like pancakes,” she muttered.

“But Sasuke doesn't like pancakes, and I want him to actually eat something, so—”

“I don’t mind pancakes,” Sasuke chimed in. Naruto looked at him as if he was deeply disappointed with Sasuke. Probably because he knew that Sasuke did mind pancakes. It didn't matter, though. Sasuke was willing to eat an entire sack of sugar if this was going to improve Kushina's mood.

“Of course you don't, there's nothing to mind,” she barked. “And since you're apparently biting my son, you've lost your status of a guest. Make some tea,” she ordered him, and he obeyed because there wasn't anything else he could've done.

“If you weren't gay, you would've been a total cuck,” Naruto commented, resting his stupid face in his stupid hand.

“Don't be crude,” his mom scolded him. “Sasuke, does your fiance know that you're biting Naruto?” she questioned. Sasuke choked on his breath.

“Sasuke has a _fiancee_ ,” Naruto snickered. His mom sent Sasuke a pitiful look.

“Sorry to hear this,” she whispered. “I hope everything will work out,” she added, sounding significantly less angry. “So will you tell me what's going on or…?”

“I’ll tell you everything I _can_ say,” Naruto replied. “One of my previous clients is obsessed with me, he cost me this job, and he was actively trying to ruin Sasuke,” he said. “That guy, who came here yesterday? He's been following me and making pictures of me—”

“You've called him a honeypot,” his mom chimed in.

“I slept with him,” Naruto confessed. “I'm not certain whether it was planned or not but it did happen, and he didn't sound too sorry yesterday, so,” he coughed and cleared his throat, “I guess that he was thrilled he got to film himself fucking me,” he sighed. Sasuke paused, taking a deep breath. He didn't know how Naruto really felt about it, and if he was being this dismissive to hide the fact that it hurt him or if he really didn't care about it too much. “So we came here to hide away from him,” he concluded. She hummed some tune under her nose.

“Sasuke, may I ask you for your version?” she inquired, flipping a pancake over.

“Leave Sasuke out of this, mom,” Naruto pleaded.

“He’s an adult, I'm certain he can survive _talking_ to me,” his mom murmured.

“I _can_ ,” Sasuke assured her.

“See, Naruto? Have some faith in your… in Sasuke,” she sighed. “How did you end up with a _fiancee_?”

“It's an arranged marriage,” he answered, and she clicked her tongue. “We’re supposed to get married in a week,” he added.

“So does she know that you're not going to be faithful to her?” she asked.

“No,” Sasuke replied.

“Lovely,” she commented, flipping yet another pancake. “Why haven't you called off the wedding yet?”

“…I can't,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“I think that if you were able to afford my son's fee, and let's not forget that it's not like he's selling livers and hearts, so you _can_ live without his service, you're not in such a bad position that you wouldn't be able to call off a wedding,” she disagreed.

“You kind of said that my job is unimportant,” Naruto whined.

“Hiring you _is_ a waste of money,” she insisted. “Sasuke could've hired an aspiring actor for one quarter of what he's paid you. Or _less_ ,” she continued. “Or he could embrace being a social outcast, and not pay anything.”

“I offer more than aspiring actors do,” the blonde complained.

“Whatever you say, honey,” she murmured in a rather dismissive tone. “So, Sasuke? Why exactly can't you call off a wedding?”

“I've promised my father that I'll—”

“And Naruto's promised me that he wouldn't bring his clients here,” she interrupted him in a falsely cheery tone. “And that he wouldn't have sex when I'm home,” she added, scraping some leftover pancake off the pan. “And yet here we are,” she said. “See, I dealt with it like a big girl, and I'm sure your dad can act like a big boy too,” she concluded.

“I can't,” Sasuke insisted.

“It doesn't sound like a lie that helps you sleep at night,” she murmured. Naruto gave him an _I've told you so_ look but did nothing to stop her. Sasuke was guessing that it was too late to do anything about it _now_. “So maybe stop repeating it to yourself,” she advised, putting a plate filled with pancakes on the table. “Enjoy your meal,” she said, and it sounded more like an order than like an invitation. Sasuke carefully grabbed one pancake, and put it on his plate. He jerked up when Naruto shoved some jar into his hand. “So if you can't break a _promise_ to your dad, why did you get involved with Naruto?” she questioned.

“I bet you're asking yourself the same question every day,” the blonde snorted.

“I am not,” Sasuke muttered.

“So you must know the answer,” the woman chirped, watching her son stuff his dumb mouth with a hot pancake.

“I like you,” Sasuke barked at Naruto.

“Thanks,” the blonde replied after almost choking himself on a big lump of chewed pancake. Kushina rested her chin in her hand, and sent Sasuke a warm smile. And this one actually looked genuine.

“Then call off the wedding,” she murmured. “Your dad will come around, it's not like he can stay mad at you forever.”

“He’s been mad at me since the day I was born,” Sasuke blurted out. Then he realized what he's just said, and he could _feel_ his face grow pale. He heard Naruto letting out a soft sigh. “I'm sorry, that's not what—”

“It's not like he can hear you,” Kushina whispered. “I'm sorry he’s made you feel this way,” she added, squeezing his hand with her own. “What about your mom, darling?”

“I see you're warming up to Sasuke, mom,” Naruto commented.

“Of course I am,” she hissed at him. “So what about your mom?”

Sasuke drew in a shaky breath. He was waiting for Naruto to blurt out that Sasuke's mom offered to help with calling the wedding off but the man remained silent. Or maybe he's been chiming in trying to change the subject but he's failed every time so far.

“She's lovely, you'd like her,” Naruto blurted out after a rather long period of uncomfortable silence.

“You've made me think I've asked an insensitive question,” the woman complained.

“No, _no_ , Sasuke’s mom is well, and she's lovely, and she loves Sasuke a lot,” the blonde blabbered. “Sasuke sometimes spaces out for no reason whatsoever.”

“I don’t,” Sasuke protested. “My mom thinks that calling the wedding off would be for the best,” he grumbled, cutting the pancake into tiny bits with a fork.

“What a sensible woman,” Kushina applauded, actually clapping her hands. “So why don't you—”

“Mom, you weren't supposed to question Sasuke's life choices but ask about his version of the events, and his wedding isn't really a part of these,” Naruto interrupted her.

“How am I supposed to know what is and what isn't important?” she sighed. “So why is this guy after you, Sasuke?”

“He wants Naruto's attention,” Sasuke breathed out.

“So what did he do to you? What's the deal with the windows?” she inquired, pointing her finger at one of the kitchen ones.

“You don’t even _try_ to beat around the bush,” Naruto complained. “Really, you're subtle like a bag of bricks—”

“What's the point of being subtle?” she questioned, giving her son an evil eye.

“Gaara managed to take photos through the windows of my apartment,” Sasuke answered, giving his temples a quick massage. Naruto's mom was somewhat too intense.

“Oh,” she mumbled out.

“Let Sasuke eat, mom,” Naruto sighed.

“Yes, you should eat something,” she hurriedly exclaimed, pushing the now almost empty plate of pancakes towards him. “I'll call off my guys, and you two will help me around, it'll do you good,” she decided.

“I can help you out on my own,” Naruto offered. “Sasuke, seriously, just rest and relax—”

“Don't be stupid, you're sick,” she dismissed him. “Sasuke, what do you say?”

“Of course,” he relented.

“I wish you listened to me the way you listen to my mom,” the blonde whined.

“Sasuke can take care of himself,” she scolded her son. Sasuke nodded, swallowing a bite of a pancake. It was sweet and he hated it, and his stomach hurt, and he knew he had to eat at least two more to make everything look believable.

When he was finally done with the breakfast, he felt less miserable than he thought he'd feel. It seemed that the food _somehow_ managed to settle in his stomach, and he's been listening to a rather meaningless chitchat between Naruto and his mom for the last ten minutes, and Sasuke felt as if he was calming down again. Kushina was… intense. Naruto and Karin too were intense, so it was maybe a family trait, and Sasuke only now realized that Naruto was using his mom’s surname, and that was probably a natural consequence of whatever happened with his father. Nevertheless, neither Naruto nor Karin were as intense as Kushina 

“Alright boys, you go finish your tea and take a shower. I'll drive to the town and do some shopping. I'll be back in two, maybe three hours, so be ready by then,” she ordered. Naruto nodded as she stood up, gathered her stuff, and stormed out of the kitchen. Five minutes later she returned to wave them goodbye, and then she was _gone_ , and Sasuke felt ashamed for being relieved.

“Sorry about it,” Naruto mumbled out, scratching the back of his head. “I know she can be too much but she means well,” he stated. Sasuke nodded. “Okay, let's wash the sheets,” he sighed as he stood up.

“How do you feel?” Sasuke asked.

“Better than yesterday,” Naruto answered, collecting the plates and cups from the table, and loading them into a dishwasher.

“…and how do you feel about that guy from last night?” Sasuke inquired.

“Are you emulating my mom now?” Naruto whined. “No subtlety,” he complained. Sasuke didn't say anything. “I hate his guts,” the blonde finally confessed. “And I really don’t feel like sucking anyone off or bottoming, so sorry about that,” he blurted out. “It’ll pass though, so—”

“There’s no reason for you to be sorry,” Sasuke sighed, also standing up and following Naruto upstairs.

“It's kind of not your fault, and yet you're being punished—”

“I don’t see it this way,” Sasuke interrupted the other man. “Last night, I should've went outside with you and—”

“Oh c'mon, last night I've made you feel terrible, and you're still kind of shaken, and besides, the guy isn't exactly _dangerous_ ,” the blonde sighed. “So seriously, don't beat yourself up about it.”

“I should've been there for you,” Sasuke disagreed, passing Naruto, and turning, so he could face the blonde. “I'm sorry,” he stated.

“I'm fine,” the blonde insisted. “Sasuke, when I came back, you were hiding in the bathroom, and for me this guy’s visit was just… unpleasant,” he grunted. “So there really was no reason to make it more upsetting for you than it's been,” he argued.

“Stop trying to spare me and solve my problems,” Sasuke demanded.

“Why?” Naruto blurted out. “Sasuke, don't get me wrong, you have many good qualities but I'm clearly better at dealing with stressful situations,” he sighed. “I guess it's because you have more on your mind right now, so _really_ , don't worry about it,” he continued.

“I don’t have more on my mind right now, and you know it,” Sasuke hissed.

“Let's see, you have to worry about that wedding, Sakura, your father, your fate as the heir to a company, Gaara, that other creepy guy, and probably also me,” the blonde enumerated in one breath. “And I have to worry only about Gaara and that guy, so I _can_ also worry about you,” he argued. “And I'm seriously not upset or anything, most of the time I’m simply having fun,” he said.

Sasuke let out a heavy sigh. He was feeling… rejected. And it was probably kind of ridiculous since the one, who had more reasons to feel this way was Naruto. “I simply want you to know that you don't have to act tough in front of me,” he whispered. “And it's really not like you need to try to protect all of my weaknesses. I am well aware of them, and I can take more than you give me credit for.”

“I don’t think you're _weak_ ,” the blonde whined. “I think the situation you’re in is messed up, so yeah, I do want to relieve it at least a little bit,” he murmured.

“I’d much rather have you being frank with me,” Sasuke complained. “So I _know_ if something's wrong, and don't have to constantly worry that something is wrong but you're _not telling me_.”

“…okay,” Naruto mumbled out. Sasuke tilted his head in a mute question. “It makes sense,” Naruto admitted. “Yesterday, when I went out to see him, I was mostly mad. Because he came here, because when I was leaving the room you were already feeling bad, because he overused my trust, because I don’t want him anywhere my mom nor you. So I wasn’t _sad_ or anything. Just angry. Then I went back, and you were feeling like shit, and I was even angrier at him. And I think that being angry is good, I mean it's not that depressing. And I know that the only way I'll be contacting Gaara and that creep will be through lawyers, so,” he paused. “I should probably give you my real cellphone number,” he snorted.

“Probably,” Sasuke agreed. “I would've given you my lawyer’s number since you wanted to meet him so much but he works mostly for my father.”

“Yeah, I think I'll pass. And I already have a lawyer,” the blonde replied. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

“You've called me a snob because I have a lawyer in my contact list,” he reminded the other man. “Hypocrite,” he commented.

“It comes with the job,” Naruto blurted out, sticking his tongue at Sasuke. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and entered the room. He gave the bed a scrutinizing look, and grabbed the comforter to pull the case off. Naruto joined him, and soon they were walking downstairs to load the washing machine. “Great, now let's hope we'll be done before my mom comes back home,” the blonde chuckled. “So, like, there's a bathroom in every room, so we can shower at the same time,” the man informed him. “And then I can show you the animals, or we can chill at home,” he suggested.

“Sure,” Sasuke agreed, uncertain whether he really wanted to go outside. “I'll need to check my e-mails first though,” he said. Naruto nodded.

Half an hour later they were already showered. Naruto was looking for fresh covers somewhere in the house, and Sasuke was sitting in the living room downstairs, waiting for his laptop to load a page. It did feel as if he went back in time to the twentieth century. When it finally did load, he saw at least five dozens of mails from Karin. And one from his father.

He took a deep breath, and opened it.

His father demanded to be contacted, and the mail was over four hours old. Normally, he would've called his father but this couldn't be done. His father would want to know why Sasuke wasn't calling from his cellphone, and there was no good way to explain why exactly Sasuke went somewhere with no phone reception when he should've been at work.

“Naruto,” Sasuke yelled. Soon enough he was answered with a loud _what_. “I need to call Karin,” he shouted. Naruto answered with a _sure_ , so Sasuke approached the phone, choosing Karin’s number from memory. He wasn’t even certain why he knew her number by heart except for the fact that he's seen it displayed on his phone screen at least a few times a day. There's never been a reason for him to memorize it, and he was certain he’s never bothered himself with remembering his previous assistants' numbers before.

“Sorry, aunt, can't talk,” she said as she picked up her phone, sounding uncharacteristically exhausted.

“It's actually Sasuke,” he informed her.

“Sasuke,” she screamed into the phone. “Is everything alright?!”

“Yes, thank you,” he murmured. “Sorry for not contacting you earlier,” he added.

“It doesn’t matter now,” she assured him, sounding relieved. “What are you doing there?”

“…resting,” he answered after a short hesitation.

“I see,” she mumbled out. “Your father keeps asking about you,” she stated in a hushed tone. “I've told him you called in sick but he's not buying it,” she informed him in a whisper.

“Tell him I'll be there for the rehearsal,” he said. He heard her sigh.

“It's not about rehearsal,” she replied.

"So what is it about?" he inquired.

“Haruno's stock prices went down by quite a lot. And because of that planned merge, ours did too. Your father keeps calling you but your phone doesn't work. He’s sent someone to your flat, so he knows you’re not home. Your mom was calling me too, she's really worried. Harunos are accusing us of leaking the documents, and it's a huge mess,” she murmured.

“What documents?” Sasuke asked, feeling as if someone poured boiling water on him.

“This morning data from a few of their new projects was leaked, so,” she paused, “these are all projects Sakura was working on, and you kind of went missing. I think the police will be looking for you soon too,” she informed him. Sasuke could hear and feel his heart beating in his ears, his stomach tied into tiny knots with what felt like a barbed wire. “Don't tell me where you're going,” she pleaded.

“I haven't done anything,” Sasuke barked at her, sounding way harsher than he intended. “Sorry,” he sighed. “I'll be there in five hours,” he informed her.

“Sasuke, it looks really bad,” she said.

“I still haven't done it,” he sneered. “If the police contacts the company, tell them it was Gaara,” he added.

“The guy you were giving your presentation to?” she asked, sounding more concerned than doubtful.

“Yes,” he answered. “Let me just pack myself, I'll call you from the road,” he promised. She made an affirmative noise, so he hung up after exchanging quick goodbyes. When he turned around to collect his laptop, he found Naruto already sitting by the kitchen table, a heap of fresh linens next to him. The blonde was resting his elbows on the table, his hands linked, pressed against his lips, a worried look on his face.

“What's wrong?” Naruto asked. Sasuke shook his head in exasperation. Everything was wrong. Every single thing that could've went wrong, did.

“I need to leave, sorry,” he informed Naruto. “This means I'm borrowing your car,” he added, collecting his stuff. “It's possible I'll need to call you in as a witness,” he sighed, making sure he hasn't left anything in the kitchen. He headed towards the room he's been staying in. Naruto followed him, surprisingly quiet. “Apologize to your mom from me,” Sasuke ordered, simply shoving his things into his bag.

“Don't worry about it,” the blonde sighed. “What's Gaara done this time?” he questioned. “I did hear you mention his name,” he blurted out when Sasuke didn't answer. “I _know_ he’s done something, so—”

“He must've stolen and leaked files from Sakura’s laptop,” Sasuke explained. “Their stock prices plummeted, ours plummeted, and they probably suspect I've done it,” he muttered. “Give me your keys and car papers, sorry but I don’t have time to stay and chat,” he added.

“I'm going with you,” Naruto informed him, throwing his car keys at Sasuke, who caught them with one hand. The blonde grabbed his phone, wallet and a laptop bag he hasn't even opened since visiting his mom, and, apparently deciding to leave everything as it was, and as it was meant to be in a state of disarray, left the room. “I'll just write my mom a note, and we can go,” Naruto yelled, and judging from the sounds, he was already downstairs. Sasuke slowly descended the stairs.

“I can't let you come with me,” he informed the other man. “If my father sees me with you, he’ll—”

“He probably already _is_ furious,” Naruto interrupted him. “And you'll be driving _my_ car, and your parents have already seen my car, so there’s no point in pretending you don't know me,” he blurted out, putting on his shoes. “Not to mention that I kind of am your alibi. Cheating on your fiancee _is_ legal, data theft is _not_ ,” he argued. Sasuke slowly nodded his head, still rather uncertain whether it truly was the best idea there was. “C’mon, Sasuke, we don't have time to stand here,” Naruto hurried him, passing him by and heading towards the exit. Sasuke followed him, and watched the blonde unlock the front doors. “Ready?” he whispered, his hand on the knob.

“Yeah,” Sasuke answered. He knew he wasn't really ready but Naruto had been right when he'd said they didn't have time to just _stand_ there. Sasuke took a shallow, slow breath, and stepped closer to the doors. He was hoping he wasn't going to freak out every time he had to leave for the rest of his life. It was pathetic and absurd, and it made no sense. Naruto swiftly turned towards him and pulled him into a tight embrace. “What—”

“This one is because I don’t know when and if there'll be a next opportunity,” the blonde murmured into his ear. “So I'm not trying to comfort you or anything,” he snorted. “No matter what happens, I'm glad I've met you, okay?” he whispered.

“…okay,” Sasuke mumbled out, pushing the word through his tightened throat.

“Let's go,” Naruto decided, interrupting the hug, and opening the doors. Sasuke observed as the man looked around, as if checking if everything was alright. And then he simply stepped out of the house. Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek and followed after him, rushing towards the car. There was no time to lose. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (｀∀´)Ψ


	16. Chapter 16

Naruto sent a worried look towards Sasuke, who was driving in a way, that would earn him an at least half an hour long lecture about road safety from Naruto's mom. If Sasuke was going to keep speeding like this, they would get home in three hours tops. Usually the road took four. The last time it took them almost six. He wasn’t going to comment on it though. Sasuke was probably a better driver than he himself was, and he would've trusted himself to ride this fast, so…

“Karin,” Sasuke said instead of greeting Naruto's cousin. “You're on the speaker, Naruto's here—”

“Hey,” the blonde chimed in.

“Tell me what's happened,” Sasuke demanded. “With details, please.”

“Are you certain, Sasuke? Naruto's not—”

“Confidentiality agreement, Karin,” Naruto sighed.

“I am certain,” Sasuke answered her. Naruto felt like a third wheel but it was pretty understandable, so he chose to not get upset over it.

“Fine,” she relented. “Like I’ve said before, the data for projects Sakura was working on has been leaked this morning. And this means that companies from countries, which don't care so much about copyrights, will use them to produce their own drugs—”

“So it was only drugs?” Sasuke inquired. “We don't manufacture drugs, so—”

“So it better explains why you'd leak the data and not use it,” Karin muttered. “Their stock prices plummeted, especially since it seems that two of their projects aren't doing so well, so they're mostly losses anyways,” she continued. “But they haven't abandoned them, and shareholders probably aren't too happy about it,” she said. “And since their stock price fell, our also suffered. Theirs dropped by 26% since morning, and our by 17%,” she stated in a quiet voice. Sasuke cursed under his breath. “At first our fell… let's say  _only_ by 9% but then Harunos said that they suspect  _you_ are responsible for the leak,” she sighed. “People were calling, wanting you to comment but you were unavailable, and the radio silence didn't help. Your father said that you had nothing to do with it. Sakura refused to comment, and since Sakura had kept proclaiming her love to you, people seem to think she's trying to protect you,” she murmured. “I guess your worth on the marital market fell as well,” she added.

“Has the police—”

“Not yet,” she answered Sasuke before he finished his question. “The internet is buzzing with rumors though. I've read at least seven articles on you since this morning. How you've always kept to yourself, and this apparently makes you into  _the most likely to become a criminal_. At least according to your college and high school classmates,” she sighed. “Funny that they’re all anonymous,” she hissed. “Cowards.”

“It doesn't matter,” Sasuke sighed back. “What about father?”

“He’s furious,” she replied without missing a beat. “The guy he's sent to your apartment to find you said he's almost been fired when he reported that you're not home,” she said. “I think he's overreacting since your father wouldn't fire him for something like this  _but_ he did push all of the meetings he had had planned for today to the next week, and from what I've heard it's never happened before. He's not leaving his office, and he keeps calling me every fifteen minutes. So far I haven't told him that you contacted me since I don’t know what you want me to tell him but I think I should be telling him something  _soon_.”

“Tell him I’m on my way,” Sasuke mumbled out. “And that it wasn’t me. I think it’s Gaara’s doing. He's given Sakura a flash drive, and she put it into her laptop, so that's probably how he got access to her files,” he explained.

“So you've never even touched her laptop?” Karin asked, suddenly sounding more hopeful than just a moment ago.

“I did,” Sasuke grunted. “I put the flash drive into her laptop,” he continued. Naruto heard Karin let out a loud curse. “She's done it before, though. On her own. Out of her own will.”

“She can say she  _didn't_ ,” Karin pointed out. “And what would Gaara have to gain by doing something like this?”

“What would  _I_ have to gain?” Sasuke asked back. “We’re supposed to get married, and our companies are supposed to merge. Why would I make it worse for myself?” he argued.

“If their stock keeps falling like this, they will need this merge to stay afloat,  _so_ , theoretically, you'll have the upper hand and the merge will happen on conditions set by you or not at all,” Karin blurted out. “And if it doesn't, they will need to abandon most of their new projects, and they’ll have only production, and they'll lose the edge they used to have. Meaning that it's possible that their stock price will keep falling, and soon they'll be out of the market.”

“I would never—”

“The press says you  _would_ ,” Karin interrupted him. “So what does Gaara have to gain?”

“Me,” Naruto sighed.

“I knew it was your fault somehow,” Karin blurted out. “Sorry, Naruto, but you're worth much less than what Sasuke could gain.”

“There were pictures of me on the flash drive,” the blonde confessed. “Sakura can attest to it,” he added. “Gaara sent it to her anonymously. And when Sasuke was doing that presentation to him, Gaara wanted him to leak the photos.”

“Too bad Sasuke hasn't told anyone about it earlier,” Karin gritted through her teeth. “Because right now it's your word against hers,” she muttered. “And your word isn't worth much, Naruto.”

_“He's made photos of me_ ,” Naruto whined. “It has to mean  _something_. And I've met him a few times, so,” he paused, realizing that all of the meetings were taking place in a hotel that belonged to Gaara. “I have his text messages,” Naruto mumbled out. “They’re pretty desperate.”

“He’s made photos of me too,” Sasuke chimed in. “If the police were to search his computer, they would probably find all the evidence.”

“They would need a warrant to do it, and right now it doesn't seem like they’ll be able to get it,” Karin complained. “And what if he's already destroyed the evidence? I'm pretty certain he can afford a new computer.”

“Gaara's hired a guy to follow us,” Naruto said. “He could testify that—”

“And why would he?” Karin asked. Naruto took a deep breath. They were screwed.

“I still have the flash drive,” he sighed. “They should be able to find something on it.”

“So the only thing you have is something he's  _given_  to you?” Karin mumbled out. “Nothing more?”

“We've spent the last night at my mom's, and there's barely any internet there,” the blonde whispered. “So if the files were leaked this morning, the police could demand from my mom's internet provider to disclose what's she's been doing online during the last few days. There's no evidence pointing towards Sasuke, it's just Harunos' words against his,” he grumbled. “So if circumstantial evidence is good enough to bring Sasuke in for a questioning, then it should be good enough to bring Gaara there too.”

“Sasuke, if it's possible, I think it would be best if you called a press conference after you'll return. We need to clear the air,” Karin stated, once again ignoring everything Naruto's said.

“Of course,” Sasuke agreed.

“I'll check with your father and see if he's alright with the idea too,” she informed him. “It's not going to be nice but I'll do my best to keep it civil,” she sighed. “And then there’s the question of the merge,” she continued after a short pause. “You should probably try to contact Sakura, it'll be easiest to talk to her, and not her parents. But that's for after you'll call your father,” she advised. “And don't talk to anyone else until the press conference. It'll be best if you have someone from the PR in the headset—”

“I don’t need anyone to tell me what to say,” Sasuke complained.

“They will only advise you, Sasuke,” Karin barked. “And make sure you don’t say something that could start another rumor mill.”

“…fine,” Sasuke relented.

“Naruto, what's exactly on these photos? Can we show them during the press conference?” Karin asked.

“We can't,” Sasuke answered in his stead. Naruto bit his bottom lip, thinking it through.

“I don’t think it's a good idea but I can show them to you, and let you decide,” the blonde said. “It's me in rather  _intimate_ moments,” he confessed.

“Ew,” she whined. “Are they all naked or—”

“Of course not,” Naruto barked. “They're from a club, so I'm at least partially dressed on  _all_  of them.”

“Is Sasuke on them too?”

“No,” Sasuke replied. “And we’re  _not_ using them,” he muttered.

“If we have some proof that you're the victims in here, it'll be easier to—”

“No,” Sasuke interrupted her.

“Sasuke, if showing them would help, I think you should use them,” Naruto blurted out.

“Out of the question,” Sasuke barked.

“I'll try to convince Sasuke to change his mind,” Naruto promised Karin with a sigh.

“Just think of something else,” the man muttered.

“Okay,” Karin murmured. “Call your father,” she ordered.

“I will,” Sasuke promised, and a few seconds later they heard that she hung up on them. Naruto sat more comfortably in his seat, stretching his aching legs.

“How are you feeling?” he asked. Sasuke merely shook his head. “What are you going to tell your father?”

“I don’t know,” the man admitted. “I need to tell him the truth to save the situation,” he grunted. “It won't improve his mood.”

“Call your mom first,” Naruto advised. “She’ll take it better than him.”

“By the end of the day I'm going to lose everything I have, and everything I’ve worked for,” he uttered in a strained voice.

“…I know it's not much but I'll do everything in my might to make sure that it doesn't happen,” Naruto promised. “And if it  _does_  happen, you'll have my full support,” he added before Sasuke could reply. “And when talking to your father… just answer his questions. Maybe it won't be this bad.”

“ _Maybe it won't be this bad_ ,” Sasuke repeated. “You're great at inspiring confidence, do a TED talk or something,” he grunted.

“Call your mom, Sasuke,” Naruto advised. “You'll see that it's not this bad,” he said. Sasuke let out a heavy sigh and ordered his phone to pick his mom’s number. The woman picked up after the first signal.

“Sasuke,” she exclaimed. “Where are you? Is everything alright?!”

“Yes, I'm on my way to the office, I'll be there in a few hours,” Sasuke answered. “Sorry that it was impossible to contact me earlier, I had no reception,” he murmured, sounding almost unnaturally calm.

“Where were you? Have you called dad?”

“I haven't called him yet,” Sasuke replied. “I was at a… hotel. Kind of.”

“Honey, you need to call your dad, he's really worried about you,” she whispered. “Just call him and tell him that you're fine.”

“…I wanted to talk to you first,” Sasuke confessed after a few seconds of hesitation.

“Darling, please, he's worried sick,” his mom mumbled out. “Just tell him that you're safe, and then we'll talk, okay?” she pleaded. “You have no idea how happy I am to hear from you.”

“I shouldn't have disappeared like this,” Sasuke apologized in a tense vice.

“Honey,  _are_ you safe?” 

“I… yes,” he answered. “Don't worry. Don't you have any other questions? I've heard about what's happened, it's all my fault—”

“Sasuke, I'm just really relieved that you're safe. So don't worry, it's just  _money_ , you're far more important,” she stated in one breath. Naruto turned his head away from Sasuke. He felt like an intruder, listening in on the conversation that wasn’t meant for his ears. He heard the man gulp.

“Mom, it's  _all_ my fault,” Sasuke repeated, and his voice slightly trembled.

“It doesn’t matter now,” she replied in a soothing voice. “I love you, so don't worry about anything, tell your dad that you're fine, and call me back,” she ordered and hung up on him. Naruto turned towards Sasuke again, uncertain about what he should say.

“I need to make a stop,” Sasuke whispered after taking a deep breath.

“Sure,” Naruto agreed. Sasuke pulled over and put on the hazard lights. Then he slowly peeled his fingers off the wheel and rubbed his temples. “He’s just worried about you. It doesn't sound so scary,” Naruto pointed out. Sasuke didn't reply. “Do you want me to give you some privacy while you call him?”

“No,” the man answered. “There’s no point, you know everything anyways,” he sighed. Naruto sent Sasuke a reassuring smile. He wanted to give him a hug or a kiss on his forehead, or at least squeeze his hand but Sasuke was constantly insisting that he neither liked nor needed physical comfort. So he handed Sasuke a water bottle, hoping that Sasuke would somehow translate the gesture into  _I'm here for you_. “He’s never been worried about me,” the man rasped, taking a small sip from the bottle. “She's just saying this, and if he acts worried it'll be only because she—”

“Maybe he actually  _is_ worried,” Naruto interrupted him. “But doesn't know how to show it,” he supplied. “If it gets bad, you can always tell him you've promised to call your mom first,” he said.

“You've always been first to say that he doesn't care, and now I've destroyed—”

“You haven't destroyed anything, Sasuke,” Naruto protested. “It's like your mom's said, it's only money, you can always make more.”

“Do you know how much 17% is?” Sasuke barked at him. “It's possible that we'll need a year or  _more_ to get it back, people might lose their jobs because of my stupidity, so,” he breathed out and paused. “He has every right to be angry at me.”

“Sasuke, I'll make Gaara pay. I won't let you lose anything,” he promised.

“It's not this simple, and you know it,” Sasuke complained. “We might  _never_ get these 17% back, and maybe we'll lose even more,” he mumbled out.

“Sasuke, you're good at what you're doing. If you  _weren't_  good, your father would've never given you such a responsible job, he’s the last person I’d accuse of nepotism,” Naruto replied. “So he does trust you.”

“And look where it got him,” Sasuke sighed. He glared at his phone, took out the hands-free set, and called his father before Naruto even managed to open his mouth to reply to him. He did however still hear everything because there was almost no traffic, and the silence was pretty much deafening.

“Sasuke,” the man breathed out. Sasuke didn’t say anything. “I just got a text message from your mother,” his father said. Sasuke remained silent, as if he was turned mute. “Sasuke, is this you?”

“Yes,” Sasuke rasped.

“Don't talk to anyone but me and your mother, our lawyers are already here, if you get arrested don't say anything, call me and I'll take care of it,” the man ordered. “Don't stop anywhere, drive straight here,” he added.

“…I'm sorry,” Sasuke whispered.

“It's too late to be sorry now,” the man replied. “I repeat, talk only to me and your mother, and  _don't_ say anything important through the phone,” he muttered. “When will you be here?”

“…three hours,” Sasuke answered, his throat audibly tightened.

“Don't speed,” his father muttered. “If you can't drive, I'll send a chauffeur to pick you up.”

“I can drive,” Sasuke insisted.

“Good. Under no circumstances talk to your fiancee or her family. Don't pick up their phones, don't text them,” he commanded. “Don't talk to  _anyone_ but your mother and me. This includes your assistant. Understood?”

“Yes,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“I'm disappointed,” the man announced. Sasuke nodded, as if he expected to hear it, as if hearing it actually helped him calm down. “You should've called your mother or me, not your assistant. Have you talked to anyone else?”

“No,” Sasuke answered. He was  _lying_. He hasn't mentioned Naruto, and Naruto wasn't certain whether it was because Sasuke didn't want his father to know about him or if maybe Sasuke simply considered Naruto a someone  _involved_ , so—

“I hope you haven't told her anything… important,” Sasuke's father muttered.

“…I haven't,” Sasuke said. Naruto let out a soft sigh. Sasuke's father was probably afraid that Sasuke had said something incriminating. And that somehow the police was going to access the conversation.

“ _Don't_ _speed_ ,” the man repeated, sounding as stern as ever.

“I won't,” Sasuke promised.

“Good. I'm waiting for you,” the man informed Sasuke and hung up on him. Naruto remained quiet, waiting for the other man to break the silence but Sasuke merely leaned back in his seat, rubbing his eyes with straightened fingers. A few seconds have passed, and then these seconds turned into a full minute, and this minute into three more, and Naruto realized that perhaps Sasuke was waiting for him to break the silence, so the blonde turned towards him, wondering what he was supposed to say.

“So,” he mumbled out, “it could've been worse,” he pointed out. And yes, it could've been way worse, Naruto had sincerely believed that it was going to be more awful.

“He treats me as if I was four years old and unable to fend for myself,” the man sighed. Naruto  _almost_ said that this was happening only because Sasuke was letting it happen but, luckily, he bit his tongue just in time. “But I guess he could've told me to not come back at all,” Sasuke gritted through his teeth.

“He wants to protect you,” Naruto argued, carefully weighing every word. He wasn't certain whether it was the best thing to say but he knew he had to say  _something_.

“No, he wants to clean up my mess because he doesn't believe I can do it myself,” Sasuke disagreed. “And the worst thing is that I myself don't know if I can clean up this mess.”

“This mess isn't your fault,” Naruto blurted out. “But I'm certain that you would be able to—”

“Don't tell me what you think I want to hear,” Sasuke interrupted him, sounding annoyed. “And it  _is_  my fault. I should've fired you earlier—”

“You've been trying to do it almost since day one,” Naruto pointed out.

“I should’ve told my father about what Gaara had demanded from me, I shouldn't have come to your mom's with you, I shouldn’t have locked myself up in my flat, and—”

“See? All my fault,” Naruto whispered. “And you don’t have to clean up this mess by yourself just because you can. There's no shame in having someone help you out every once in a while,” he murmured.

“I'm tired of people trying to solve my problems for me,” Sasuke confessed.

“Alright, I won't,” Naruto relented. “I just want you to know that if you needed some support, I'm here for you,” he said. “Whenever you need me, and whatever you need me for. Like, you can just tell me what you want to do, and I'll give you my feedback, or I can shut up, so you can think out loud,” he offered.

“Deep down you're extremely patronizing,” Sasuke scoffed. “You really don’t need to try to accommodate me,” he sighed. Naruto rolled his eyes, and made a face at Sasuke.

“You have no idea what you even want,” he whined. “I'm not trying to  _accommodate_  you, I want to help you,” he grunted. “And to me it looks like you  _could_  use some help,” he added. “Not to be  _patronizing_  or anything, but you're screwed and, like, I do understand that it probably means that, uh, whatever was that  _thing_  between us, it's probably  _over_  but I still feel kind of entitled to  _caring_  about you,” he barked. Sasuke cast him a long, sideways look. “Sasuke, there’s nothing you can do to make me  _stop_  caring about you,” Naruto blurted out.

“Despite all of this mess I still don't regret that I had hired you,” Sasuke unexpectedly confessed, turning his head to look in the wing mirror as he started the engine. “It's insane,” he commented as he entered the traffic. Naruto let out a soft sigh when Sasuke started speeding again. He was not a reckless driver but the blonde wasn’t really a fan of driving fast when it wasn't absolutely necessary, and even Sasuke's father told him to not speed, and—

“Slow down,” Naruto finally mumbled out, earning himself a quick, concerned look. Sasuke did slow down even if just by a little bit.

“If you're feeling sick, I can stop again,” the man offered. Naruto shook his head. “So what is it?” Sasuke inquired, sounding mildly annoyed and far less worried.

“There's no need to drive like this,” Naruto argued. “You've promised your mom you'll call her,” he reminded the man before he could protest. “And why don't you want to use the photos? I too am not certain if it's such a good idea, and if they won't do more damage than good but if the smart people from PR say that it can help, you should—”

“Gaara wanted me to leak them,” Sasuke interrupted him. “I'm not going to do anything he wanted from me. Ever.”

“I think he wanted to prove to me that you'd choose the contract over me,” the blonde mumbled out, suddenly feeling embarrassed because he's realized that Sasuke  _hasn't_  chosen a lucrative deal over… over something absolutely worthless because at this point Naruto's privacy was a complete joke. “But now it would have a completely different meaning, so,” he cleared his throat, “you might as well go for it.  _But_  the people from PR should know that there's more photos,” Naruto sighed. “Because if Gaara leaks those photos of us sleeping together, and then there'll be all  _these_  photos… I don’t know how much more your reputation can take, to be honest.”

“There's also that kiss. And us on the couch when I was… preparing for Sakura,” Sasuke confessed, sounding as if he's given up on life completely.

“If everything fails, I can support you for some time,” Naruto offered, painting stick figures on the window. “Financially, I mean,” he clarified. “Until you get back on your feet.”

“ _Lovely_ ,” Sasuke commented. “I've always dreamed of being a kept man,” he hissed.

“If it'll make you feel better, later it can be your turn to provide for me,” Naruto suggested. “I promise I'll cook you a dinner every day,” he sighed, leaning back in his seat, slowly taking in just how hopeless their situation was.

“I kind of doubt you can cook,” Sasuke whispered in reply as he called his mom. “Hey,” he greeted her, sounding uncharacteristically timid. Naruto didn't hear her reply because this time Sasuke was using the hands-free set, and not the speaker, and the engine was too loud to let him overhear anything, and maybe this was how it was supposed to be. “Yes, I'm fine,” Sasuke assured his mom. Then he took a deep breath. “Mom, I need you to understand that it's all my—, no, I need to tell you, just—, mom, it's nothing that could be used against me, I'm not going to incriminate myself over a  _phone_ ,” he shouted. Then he was listening to whatever she was telling him, frantically trying to chime in but it seemed that she wasn't letting him. “ _Oh for fuck's sake_ ,” he cursed. Naruto sent him a bewildered look. “She hung up on me,” Sasuke explained in a tired voice.

“…and what exactly did you want to tell her?”

“That everything went to hell because I didn't listen to her when she's said that this stupid wedding was a terrible idea,” he barked.

“You'll just tell her when we get there,” Naruto sighed in reply. “Karin's said you should call Sakura.”

“And my father forbid me to call anyone but mother and him,” Sasuke hissed. The blonde shrugged his shoulders. “And I don’t even know what to tell her,” he added, this time sounding tired, and not pissed off.

“Probably that you're not responsible for the leak, and that it's all because of that stupid flash drive,” Naruto supplied. “ _But_ then there's the question of the merge, and… I guess you should just call Karin and ask her—”

“I can't call Karin,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“But  _I_  can,” Naruto pointed out. “So you can simply use my phone,” he offered. “She's had more time to think everything through, and I hope that you  _know_ that you can trust her—”

“Of course I do,” Sasuke huffed. “Call her and put her on speaker,” he commanded with a heavy sigh.

“My dearest cousin,” the woman greeted him through her teeth.

“It's me too,” Sasuke muttered.

“I can't talk right now, so be quick about it,” the woman spat out. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, looking as surprised as Naruto felt.

“I guess you're not alone,” the blonde mumbled out. “Give me a call when you have some time, alright?”

“Yes, I'll call you later,” Karin whispered and hung up. Naruto tapped his fingers against his knee.

“This sucks,” he eventually commented. Sasuke slowly nodded. They were screwed.

* * *

 

Sasuke drove the car into the underground parking, and stopped the engine. His car was surrounded by security guards even before he managed to get out of the vehicle. He sent Naruto an apologizing look, breathed in through his nose, and opened the doors, watching in silence as the security informed him that his  _guest_  couldn't follow him anywhere, and that he was to either leave the building altogether or wait in the guard room. Naruto opted for the latter, so Sasuke ordered the guard guiding the blonde to the guard room to use stairs, and followed after three other guards to the elevator. They barely said anything to him, and Sasuke felt more as if he was being detained, and not  _escorted_.

He didn’t however comment on it because he knew there was no point. After a short ride and an even shorter walk, he was in front of the doors to his father's office. He hasn't seen  _anyone_ in the corridor, and he didn’t see anyone on the lower floors either. As if the whole building was closed and filled only with the guards.

And then there was a knock on the doors, a short  _come in_ , and Sasuke was pretty much pushed inside. As if he truly was a criminal that has just been brought to the justice.

“Son,” his father greeted him, actually raising his eyes from whatever he's been reading. It wasn’t exactly a common occurrence, and had the circumstances been different, Sasuke would've probably felt  _good_  because of it. But now it was only worrying. “Is there anything you want to tell me before I call for the lawyers?” his father asked in a surprisingly calm voice. Sasuke slowly tilted his head and bit the inside of his cheek.

“…these lawyers aren't for me, are they?” he whispered, taking a seat even though his father didn't say that he could sit. “You're going to cut off your ties to me, so you can—”

“I'm going to keep you out of prison,” his father interrupted him.

“Do you think there's  _any_  reason why I wouldend up in  _prison_?” Sasuke questioned. “I've given you everything—"

“Lately you've been giving me only scandals and disappointments,” his father disagreed. Sasuke closed his mouth, the false sense of confidence that stemmed from anger dissolved into thin air as his father finally voiced what Sasuke’s had suspected to be his true feelings. “And this is why you will accept  _everything_. I will keep you out of jail but I can't keep you here as my employee,” the man announced in a terrifyingly calm voice. “Don't look at me like this, son, in the end it won't be you, who will have to pay the price for me having put my trust in you, it will be people I'm employing, some of them have worked here longer than you have,” he muttered. “Because  _you_  will continue to lead a comfortable lifestyle you're used to,  _don't worry_ ,” he concluded in an icy tone.

“I'd  _never_ endanger—”

“But you did,” the man interrupted him. Sasuke raised his eyes towards the ceiling, as if he was expecting help from there. During the last few months he’s had Karin with him. Karin was somehow able to always say the right thing at the right time. And Naruto… Naruto's  _been_ right.

“I'm gay,” Sasuke rasped. He refused to look at his father, so he kept his eyes glued to a ridiculously simple chandelier. His father didn't reply immediately, he wasn't replying at all, Sasuke only heard him clear his throat.

“Do you think this will stop me from firing you?” the man finally asked.

“No, I simply thought that you should know,” Sasuke whispered, his voice betraying him and cracking in the middle of the sentence.

“I should've been informed of this  _months_ ago,” his father muttered. “Right now it doesn't matter,” he added. Sasuke heard him shuffle through the papers he had been reading before. “The lawyer will soon come here with your resignation,” the man continued. “Sign it.”

“…aren’t you even going to ask if I'm actually guilty?” Sasuke blurted out.

“I've asked you if there was anything you wanted to tell me,” his father pointed out in an unapologetic tone. “Are you responsible for the leak?”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke answered.

“In this case it'll be easier for you to find yourself another job,” the man stated. “Unless you prefer to just fool around,” he sighed.

“I'm  _not_  fooling around,” Sasuke insisted, finally lowering his head to look at his father.

“I was  _this_ close to securing your future but you preferred to fool around with that blond boy,” the man disagreed. “We’ve almost bought you and your now probably  _ex_  fiancee a house,” he continued. “I was ready to hand this company over to you, and you're still younger than your brother was when,” the man paused, “I've always regretted not trusting Itachi more,” he confessed out of the blue. “I wanted to make up for it but you've made me regret it. Itachi would've never allowed something like this to happen.”

“…I'm leaving,” Sasuke announced.

“You're not,” the man disagreed. “You're going to sign the,” he paused upon hearing a knock on the doors, “come in,” he ordered. One of the company lawyers marched in, holding an almost empty folder. He greeted them both and stood behind Sasuke's father, still like a stone statue. He moved only after Sasuke's father ordered him to hand the folder over, and then he was completely still again. “Sign the resignation,” Fugaku commanded, shoving the papers towards Sasuke, who started reading through them almost against his will. He was promised a  _pension_. That was exactly as high as his current pay. Somehow, it was offending.

“I want to talk to mother,” Sasuke whispered.

“After you’ll sign the resignation,” the man replied.

“Does she even  _know_ about this?” Sasuke questioned. His father didn’t reply. “In this case she'll need to fire me herself,” he said, raising from the chair. “Where's Karin?” he asked. Once again, there was no answer. “I'm leaving,” he sighed. Sasuke’s father frowned at him and sent the lawyer away. Apparently he wasn't going to talk with any witnesses around.

“Stop being so selfish,” he demanded. “You need to fix your mistakes,” he insisted.

“I  _am_ going to fix my mistakes,” Sasuke retorted. “But not like this,” he whispered as he moved towards the doors.

“If you leave, I'll fire you, and you'll be left with  _nothing_ ,” the man growled. Sasuke stopped dead in his track. He felt like crying. “I wanted to give you  _everything_ , son,” Fugaku uttered. “ _Everything_ ,” he repeated. “But you threw it all away, and for what? Some nobody you met at the university.”

“He has  _nothing_  to do with it,” Sasuke breathed out. It wasn’t entirely true. He knew that if it wasn’t for Naruto, nothing would've happened the way it did. There wouldn't be any leak, and he'd be marrying Sakura. It was somehow all Naruto’s fault.

“Then why did you bring him here?  _Emotional_   _support_?” his father spat out.

“I'm leaving,” Sasuke repeated for the third time, this time intending to keep to his word.

“You'll regret it,” his father informed him in a dry tone. Sasuke shook his head in exasperation, and  _finally_ left the office. He was already regretting leaving like that. Some part of him screamed at him to return and sign that stupid resignation, and let his father handle everything because his father  _knew_ how to handle things. And the other part was almost proud because of that pointless rebellion that achieved absolutely nothing.

Sasuke let out a soft sigh when the guards surrounded him again. Theoretically, he didn't have to leave. He could stay there for however long he wished. Doing nothing because this was the extent of his power.  _Being_  there. The man balled his hands into fists, almost reveling in how his nails bit into his skin.

“I came here with a man,” he whispered. “He's in the guard room. I'm going to collect him before I leave,” he uttered.

“He's been called by Mr. Uchiha,” one of the guards informed him. Sasuke stopped moving altogether.

“We’re taking the stairs,” he said. The guards couldn't protest, and Sasuke was praying that he  _was_ going to meet the blonde on his way downstairs. After a few long minutes of continuous walking, he finally heard Naruto trying to chat up the guards, and Sasuke could barely stop himself from walking faster or yelling, or doing whatever else to see Naruto sooner. Perhaps he truly did bring Naruto here for  _emotional support_. “Naruto,” he breathed out when he saw the blond mop of hair just a few steps away from him.

“Sasuke,” Naruto greeted him with a warm smile. “Your father wants to talk to me—”

“We're leaving,” Sasuke interrupted him. The blonde raised an eyebrow in a mute question but, after just a few seconds, he nodded and turned around, sending an apologetic look towards the guards that had been escorting him. Sasuke let out a sigh of relief, and followed after him. One of the guards informed his father that Naruto  _wasn't_ coming over the intercom. Sasuke felt a pang of childish triumph. Because at least this once his father wasn't going to get what he wanted. Because in the end Naruto was loyal to Sasuke, and not him. And it was probably the same for Karin but he couldn't risk her future just because he felt like being stupid.

A few minutes later they were in the car, and soon Sasuke drove away, having absolutely no idea where to go. The flat he’s been living in was paid for by the company, it was one of the many bonuses of his job, and now… he suspected that now all he had was his savings.

“What exactly happened in there?” Naruto asked, audibly trying to be patient and respectful. “I thought there was supposed to be some press conference or—”

“I don’t know where Karin is,” Sasuke informed him. “And I can't contact her unless I want her to lose her job too,” he added.

 “Wait, wait,  _wait_ , what do you mean by  _too_?” Naruto mumbled out. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. “No, you can't be serious—”

“I am,” Sasuke murmured back. He heard the blonde let out a loud, guttural groan, and saw the man rub his cheek with his fingers.

“Sasuke, I'll—”

“He said he'd wanted to hand the company over to me,” Sasuke continued. “And then he said that Itachi wouldn't let anything like  _this_  happen. He's right, you know? Itachi would  _never_ _—_ ”

“You're not Itachi,” Naruto interrupted him. “And I don’t want you to be Itachi.”

“You'd be first,” Sasuke scoffed.

“Sasuke, stop the car,” Naruto pleaded. Sasuke shook his head. “I'll take the wheel,” the blonde offered. “You can't drive like  _this_ ,” he insisted, and Sasuke had no idea what Naruto meant by  _this_  but then he realized that his vision was all foggy, so he pulled over but refused to move from his seat, apparently deciding that crying on the side of the road was something he did now. He leaned forward, resting his forehead on the wheel, ignoring the long honking noise the car made. “I'm not the first,” Naruto whispered. “Where do you want to go now?”

“I don’t know,” Sasuke confessed, forcing himself to sound normally and not sob. He was feeling weak. He hated feeling weak.

“Have you talked to your mom already?” the blonde asked. “She didn't sound like she wanted to  _fire_  you,” he pointed out.

“My father didn't want to fire me either, he wanted me to resign myself,” Sasuke barked. “I refused,” he added. “I actually  _refused_ , and I don't even know why. I should've just let him—”

“Shhh, don't doubt yourself now,” Naruto scolded him. “Do you  _want_ to talk to your mom or do you just want to rest? I can drive you home or—”

“I don’t think I  _have_ a home,” Sasuke grunted. “The company pays the rent, so—”

“Then I'll drive you to my place,” Naruto offered.

“…you have absolutely  _nothing_  to gain by sticking with me,” Sasuke commented.

“I'm not  _trying_  to gain anything,” the blonde replied. “You're in a rough spot right now, and gods know you could use a rest,” he murmured. “So I can drive you there but I'll—”

“I don’t have time to rest right now,” Sasuke sighed. He heard Naruto letting out a shaky breath. “I need to talk to Sakura,” he decided.

“Alright,” Naruto agreed. “What do you think your father wanted to talk about with me?”

“No idea,” Sasuke admitted. “He probably wanted to know where I was. Perhaps he wanted to persuade you to leave me,” he guessed.

“Leave you? I know he's not my fan but—”

“I've told him I’m gay,” Sasuke confessed. “He asked if I thought it was going to stop him from firing me,” he cackled. “He probably thinks I put everything in jeopardy because I couldn't keep my dick in pants.”

“…I see,” Naruto mumbled out. “Alright, we’ll… we’ll get back to it later, okay? What exactly have you told him? About Gaara and… well, mostly about Gaara.”

“He didn't  _want_  to know,” Sasuke answered. “He simply wanted to remove me from the picture so I couldn't fuck up anymore. He even offered me a  _pension_ , just so I would go the fuck away and stop embarrassing him because, apparently, lately I've been nothing but disappointment.”

“Okay, fuck him,” Naruto blurted out. “Now he's just being stupid,” he whined, and his hand somehow wormed itself into Sasuke’s hair. This time Sasuke didn't protest. He had to admit to himself that the touch was soothing. Naruto was  _letting_  him be weak. He wasn’t certain whether it was a good thing. Under these circumstances it probably wasn’t. He needed to pull himself back together. “I still think you should talk to your mom,” Naruto murmured, leaning towards Sasuke. “So maybe I'll drive you to your mom, you'll talk to her, and you'll call Sakura from there,” he suggested. “And I'll try to find Karin in the meantime.”

“…fine,” Sasuke relented, straightening his back and wiping his face. “Put on the seatbelt, I can drive,” he sighed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can I just put a trigger warning for everything
> 
> I don't even know
> 
> so
> 
> trigger warning for everything
> 
> ( ་ ⍸ ་ )

“Sasuke,” Naruto let out a soft murmur. The car was already parked close to the Uchiha residence but it's been parked there for the last few minutes, and Sasuke still made no move to actually leave it. “Do you want me to go there with you?” he offered.

“…what?” Sasuke mumbled out, his head turning towards Naruto as if he was some creepy ventriloquist doll haunted by angry spirits.

“I need to find Karin,” Naruto reminded him. “But I can do it later, so maybe you want me to go to your mom with you,” he clarified. Sasuke shook his head but kept on sitting. “Do you _want_ to talk to your mom? It's fine if you've changed your mind,” he said. Sasuke didn't react at all. Naruto hummed, pondering over what he was supposed to do. Eventually, he decided to change his approach completely. “Can I come with you?” he inquired, deciding that Sasuke was better at saying _no_ than he was at saying _yes_.

“You may,” Sasuke replied. Naruto nodded at that, and unbuckled the belt. He left the car and walked around it until he reached the driver’s doors. He opened them and leaned forward, so he could look Sasuke straight in the eyes.

“Let's go,” he hurried the man. Under normal circumstances he would've been more respectful, and let Sasuke mentally prepare himself for leaving the vehicle but they had no time for it. It seemed that Sasuke wasn’t sharing his sentiment. “Sasuke,” Naruto pleaded. “I need you to be strong,” he confessed.

“Sorry,” the man whispered, untangling himself from the belt, and leaving the car. He didn't put his coat on, he just stood awkwardly next to Naruto. The blonde put his hand on Sasuke’s back, and pushed him towards his parents' house. Sasuke actually moved, so Naruto guided him like that until they were standing in front of the gate. Sasuke patted his pockets but, apparently realizing that they were empty, he rang the doorbell. A few seconds later the gate slowly slid open, and Naruto pushed the other man straight towards the main entrance. This time they didn't have to click anything because the doors opened, and Sasuke's mom pulled her son into a tight embrace, her eyes pink and puffy, and there was no make up on her face, and Naruto realized that if she introduced herself as Sasuke's older sister, he would've believed her.

“Sasuke, darling,” she cried out. She was way shorter than Sasuke, and now she wasn't wearing any high heels to make up for that, and Sasuke probably won the genetics lottery because the tip of her head was below his shoulder level, and Fugaku too wasn’t exactly _tall_ , his height was fairly average, and yet Sasuke _was_ somewhat tall. “How are you feeling? Is everything alright?” she asked, pulling herself away, cupping his face in her small hands and making him look her straight in the eyes.

“I'm fine,” Sasuke rasped, and it was such an obvious, weak lie that even Naruto frowned.

“You're not fine,” he disagreed. The woman tilted her head at the comment, and sent Naruto a worried look.

“Come in,” she invited them inside. They took off their shoes, and then she lead them into what looked like her study, and her study was completely white. She had a huge desk with a lit-up desktop, and there were some artistic utensils on a magnetic rail above it, and it seemed like she liked not only interior design but also DIY. She probably would've went along really well with Naruto's mom. “Darling, what's wrong?” she asked Sasuke in a gentle voice as she seated him on a soft, white couch. The blonde sat next to him, putting his arm on the back rest, and pulling one of his legs onto the seat.

“Father wants me to resign,” Sasuke confessed. She let out a little sigh but didn't look too surprised.

“Your father wants what best for you,” she assured him. “He doesn't want you to _have_ to work, and—”

“So you think that it's best for the company if I resign,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“It's just for _now_ , darling,” she whispered, combing his bangs away from his face. “Just until everything gets sorted out,” she continued. “He loves you. You know that he loves you, yes?”

“He's said I disappoint him,” Sasuke disagreed, “And you _knew_ that he wanted me to resign,” he realized. Naruto scuttled closer to Sasuke. _This_ wasn’t what he expected. “I thought you _didn't_ know,” Sasuke blurted out. He was audibly hurt, and Naruto regretted bringing him here because if he didn't, Sasuke would've still thought that his mother would've never approved of something like that, and now… and now he knew, and ignorance was bliss. “When I asked him if you knew, he didn't say anything, he—”

“He didn't want to hurt you,” his mom chimed in. “I suggested it to him, Sasuke. It's clear that this whole wedding was a terrible idea, and I wanted you to rest. So let your dad handle everything, alright? It was _his_ stupid idea after all,” she cooed. “I've told him that he shouldn't have made you go through something like this,” she complained. “You're more sensitive than Ita—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke growled at her. “And this disaster has _nothing_ to do with the wedding,” he barked.

“It has _everything_ to do with that stupid wedding,” she shouted back. “If it wasn’t for the wedding, you wouldn't have to do something _like this_ to make it stop,” she cried out.

“Sasuke hasn't done anything,” Naruto blurted out. Both Sasuke and his mother jerked up, startled, as if they forgot he was even there. “It's _my_ fault,” he announced. “He shouldn't be punished for something that's _my_ fault—”

“I'm _not_ punishing you, darling,” the woman protested. “Sasuke, sweetie, just think of it as vacation. I promise you that you'll get your job back when everything settles down.”

“I don’t need a _vacation_ ,” Sasuke snapped. Naruto nodded in agreement even though he was certain that Sasuke did need vacation. It was just that the vacation shouldn't be like _this_. “And it's not your fault, Naruto, it's all Gaara’s—”

“Honey, we’ve been dealing with his company in the past,” the woman murmured. “Six years ago his father was one of our main business partners, and losing his son by throwing accusations is—”

“You don't believe me,” Sasuke deadpanned.

“Darling, I know you're not a liar,” his mom murmured. “But look, now you'll have some time off, so you might as well spend it with your _friend_. It'll do you good after all these years apart—”

“I met Naruto less than a _month_ ago,” Sasuke snarled. “What's more, I've _hired_ him,” he added. The woman gave him a blank stare. Then she turned her head towards Naruto, who sent her an awkward smile.

“Who are you?” she demanded to know, raising from the couch. She was short and petite, and she looked very intimidating.

“Best man for hire,” Naruto confessed. The cat was already out of the bag, and there was no point in forcing it back in.

“Leave,” she ordered. He obediently got up from the couch. “Sasuke, why would you bring someone like _him_ here, to our _house_ —”

“If he's leaving, I'm leaving too,” Sasuke muttered.

“Sweetie, don't be ridiculous, he's not your friend, he's here only because he's after your money,” she hissed.

“I'm not paying him,” Sasuke disagreed. “I've fired you… a week ago,” he said, giving Naruto an inquiring look. The blonde nodded. “A week ago,” Sasuke repeated.

“You're _not_ going to use my son,” the woman barked at Naruto, standing between him and Sasuke. “I _won't_ let you hurt him, can't you see how broken he already—”

“I'd never hurt Sasuke,” Naruto blurted out. “ _Never_ ,” he repeated. “And he's not broken,” he added. It wasn’t entirely true. Sasuke was broken. Just not in the way she thought. But he wasn’t going to criticize her and her husband's parenting skills because that would've been just rude, and Naruto was pretty certain Sasuke would've never forgiven him this.

“You're trying to manipulate him,” she decided. “Sasuke, people like him are preying on those, who,” she paused, “he wants to use you. And he is after your money. You'll see, soon he’ll be asking you to fund him this or that,” she concluded with a tongue click.

“No,” Sasuke replied. “And there's no point in talking about _Naruto_. I didn't leak anything, and neither did Naruto. It was Gaara. Because Gaara used to be Naruto's client, and now he wants him to—”

“If Naruto _was_ your friend, he would've given Gaara what he wants,” she interrupted her son, looking absolutely unconvinced that Gaara even wanted anything from Naruto. The blonde suspected that he's just fallen on the very bottom of the social pyramid, and that there was no way up as far, as Mikoto was concerned. It didn't really matter though. Only Sasuke mattered. Sasuke and he… they were never going to be together, and it was becoming more and more obvious with every passing hour. And they didn't have time to lose. There was no time for a lawsuit. But Naruto could still try to fix everything. At least for Sasuke. He would only have to talk to Gaara. But thanks to it Sasuke would have a chance to be finally happy, and Sasuke deserved to be happy.

“I can do it,” Naruto agreed.

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke protested.

“Everything else will take too much time but if I bargain with him, I can—”

“You _can't_ ,” Sasuke snapped at him. “Don't be stupid. You can't even trust him that he'll hold to his end of the bargain, and even if he did, it's _not_ worth it—”

“It is,” Naruto blurted out. “I can make it work. He'll want to keep me happy.”

“You _won't_ be happy,” Sasuke hissed. “We're leaving,” he decided. Naruto didn't budge from his spot. “Naruto, we’re _leaving_ ,” Sasuke repeated. The blonde sent Mikoto one last look. She only wanted what was best for her son, and while she wasn't always right, this time there was a chance that she was. And Naruto was ready to gamble on it.

“Stay here, darling,” Mikoto whispered. “And let Naruto do what he should've done a long time ago.”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke insisted, grabbing Naruto’s wrist and pulling him out of the room. The blonde followed after the other man, who was now acting positively crazy. Way more alive than earlier, though. Naruto decided it was a change for the better. The woman was walking a few steps behind them.

“Sasuke, darling, calm down,” she pleaded, her voice soft and soothing. “I'll make you some tea, you'll relax and see that it's for the best.”

“No,” the man replied. “I'll fix this on my own,” he barked.

“Sweetheart, let your father handle this,” she suggested. “You'll see, one month from now we'll all laugh.”

“I've heard this before,” Sasuke sighed. Naruto felt his face heat up. Yes, Sasuke did hear this before. From him. He let Sasuke lead him outside, and then further down the street, and then he let Sasuke pretty much shove him into the car while Mikoto was doing her best at trying to make her son stay. She failed. Sasuke said goodbye, entered the car, and drove away so fast that he should've considered himself lucky that there was no patrol there because otherwise he would most definitely lose his driver license. “…sorry about that,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“I don’t blame her,” Naruto assured him.

“I do,” Sasuke unexpectedly confessed. “Don't even _think_ about talking to Gaara,” he said. “If you go there, we're _over_ , I forbid you,” he spat out. Naruto raised an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t think our… _relationship,_ ” he started, making quotation marks with his fingers, “is so serious that you get to forbid me anything,” he concluded.

“Please, don't talk to him,” Sasuke sighed.

“Where are we going?” the blonde asked. The other man shrugged his shoulders. “So drive to my place, and I'll call Karin,” he suggested.

“ _Don't_ _talk_ _to him_ ,” Sasuke pleaded. Naruto pointed at the phone to let him know that he's already picked Karin's number. “ _Don't_ _talk_ _to him_ ,” Sasuke repeated. “Don't make me lose everything in one day—”

“Hey Karin,” Naruto chirped into the phone. “Wanna hang out at my place?”

“No, thanks,” the woman muttered in reply.

“Are you sure? I could use your help with a certain project, and—”

“I'll come later today if I have some time,” she sighed. “Don't start without me,” she added.

“I'd never start without you,” he assured her. She made an appreciative noise and hung up on him. “She'll come to my place,” he informed Sasuke.

“Does she have your new address?” the man asked.

“She’ll get it from my mom,” Naruto replied. “ _But_ I don’t know when she's coming, so it seems like we might still have to wait. I'll leave you at my place, and go see my lawyer, so—”

“Make him come to you,” Sasuke insisted.

“Sasuke, I won't be able to go to Gaara's and back in less than two hours,” the blonde grunted.

“Make him come to you,” Sasuke repeated with a heavy sigh. Naruto rolled his eyes. He needed to call Gaara. And he didn't want to do it with Sasuke watching him and listening in on the conversation.

“It's a she,” Naruto informed him.

“Sorry,” Sasuke sighed.

“And she doesn't do home visits,” the blonde added. “But I'll try to convince her to come after her work hours, so if we're lucky, we’ll have both her and Karin, and—”

“I'll pay her whatever she wants,” Sasuke interrupted him. “Double her usual fee or whatever, just _don't go anywhere_.”

“You're being paranoid,” Naruto commented, letting out a forced laugh. “I already have one guy trying to control me, so sorry but that spot is already taken,” he added. Sasuke frowned, visibly hurt by the words. Naruto's throat tightened but he resolutely bit his tongue.

“Do whatever you want,” Sasuke relented. Naruto sent Sasuke a warm smile. He was going to miss him. A lot. And he was going to wonder _what if_ for the rest of his life. The logical part of his brain however knew that there was no _what if_ for them.

* * *

Naruto closed the doors behind himself, leaving a very miserably looking Sasuke inside. But this was how it was supposed to be. He slowly walked down the stairs, and got into his car. There was an empty paper coffee cup stashed in the driver's doors, and Naruto felt ridiculous because he didn't want to throw it away. Because Sasuke drank from it, and it was a memorabilia from when Naruto had thought that a few months from now everything was going to be alright, and now he knew that it wasn’t.

He started the engine, and drove away. The rain was pattering against the car roof, and it was mixing with the slow, sad song from the radio just perfectly, and Naruto was the star of a very sad music video. He stopped the car in front of his lawyer’s office, and took out his phone. He had received a text, it was from Sasuke, and it read _buy milk on your way home_. Naruto let out a shaky breath, and fished out his old SIM card. The one with the number Gaara knew.

He was bombarded with notifications almost immediately after putting it into his phone. All of the texts from Gaara were saying _call me_ , and there was over thirty of them. Naruto hit the call button and waited only a few seconds before he heard the way too familiar voice.

“Naruto,” Gaara breathed out.

“I call to bargain,” the blonde informed him. The man wasn’t replying for the next minute or so. “Gaara,” Naruto eventually sighed.

“I'm here,” the man replied, his voice shaky and uncertain.

“I want you to fix this mess,” Naruto stated. “Fast.”

“You've said you weren't going to come,” Gaara uttered.

“ _When_?” Naruto barked. “I've told you I was going to come a week from now.”

“You've told _him_ that you weren't going to come,” Gaara complained, his voice cracking in the middle of that very short and extremely confusing sentence. “You've told him you were _his_ , you wanted to give him everything that you should be giving _me_ ,” he whispered, sounding as if he was suffering from a fever much higher than Naruto’s.

“What are you even talking about?” the blonde mumbled out.

“I've heard you, Naruto,” Gaara muttered. Naruto felt as if someone poured a bucket of an icy cold water all over him. “And you drove him to your mother even after he stopped being your client. What do you even see in him? How is he better than I am? You can't keep hurting me like this,” he cried. “You're tearing me apart, Naruto, you can't—”

“I'm sorry,” the blonde blurted out. Gaara had been listening in on them. _Somehow_. Somehow he had heard the conversation they had had when Naruto had went looking for Sasuke and found him in his apartment. “I was only telling him what he wanted to hear,” Naruto whispered. “I didn't want him to sue us,” he added, feeling sick when using the _us_ for Gaara and himself. “But you've went too far, Gaara. You need to fix this.”

“You’re lying,” Gaara mumbled out.

“He didn't want me to call you,” Naruto confessed. “He’s said we were going to be over if I do. But I did.”

“You're doing it for _him_ ,” Gaara protested.

“If you fix this mess, I'll stay with you for however long you'll want,” Naruto promised. “But you'll need to fix it _fast_.”

“…I can buy their stock back. I can buy every stock others will sell,” he said. “It'll stop the price from falling, and it'll start raising again,” he murmured.

“You'll need to fix the leak too,” Naruto insisted. “You can even pin it on me—”

“No,” Gaara protested.

“Pin it on me,” Naruto sighed.

“You're not going to jail for him,” Gaara uttered. “I can save their stocks but I'm not going to do anything more for him.”

“You _are_ if you want me,” Naruto muttered. “It's not enough, Gaara. I want us to start with a clear slate.”

“If you come here now, I'll come clean about it,” Gaara offered after a longer while of silence. “I'll say my company is responsible for it, and I’ll pay them reparations.”

“Gaara, after something like this, I need a proof, so I know I can trust you,” Naruto disagreed.

“And vice versa,” Gaara replied. The blonde bit on his bottom lip.

“…why did you even do this? You've promised me you wouldn't threaten him in any way, and then you've—”

“You only care about him, don't you?” Gaara interrupted him.

“No, I simply don’t understand why you've done all these things. You already had me, I was yours, and then you just broke our agreement, and threatened him—”

“I've never threatened him,” Gaara snapped.

“You've told him to leak those disgusting photos,” Naruto yelled at the other man. “Or else you weren't going to accept the deal—”

“That's hardly a threat,” Gaara said. “The photos were threatening you, and you only. Not striking a deal is a fairly normal occurrence.”

“You've shown him the photos you've made of _him_ ,” Naruto scowled.

“I've never said I'd show them to anyone,” Gaara sighed.

“And then that _leak_ —”

“They weren't projects _he_ was working on. They were his fiancée’s,” Gaara argued.

“But the leak hurt _his_ family's companies too,” Naruto pointed out.

“This was _after_ you've said you weren't coming,” the man hissed. “You weren't picking up the phone, and you've said you were going to _sue_ me,” he growled.

“So your minion did pass the massage to you,” Naruto barked. “You've made him fuck me,” Naruto snapped. “You've made him fuck me and record me—”

“ _You_ threw yourself at him,” Gaara interrupted him. “You practically _begged_ him to fuck you—”

“He didn't have to agree,” Naruto whispered.

“What's the difference, Naruto? You've whored yourself out just to make me jealous, does it even matter whom it was with?” Gaara snarled at him. “Do you think it felt _nice_ to hear you moan for him, to see you fuck all these random people? I bet you've let this guy fuck you too. I hope he was good enough for you,” the man continued, his voice low and threatening. “Or maybe you were thinking about him while Sasori was pounding into your whore ass—”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Naruto demanded.

“I'm right, aren't I?” Gaara asked in a sing-a-song tone. “Come here, I'll make you forget all about him.”

“ _No_ ,” Naruto snapped.

“Be a good boy, and you'll get everything you want,” Gaara promised. “Maybe I'll even let you have Sasori's cock again since you've liked it so much. I _can_ share. You'll just have to moan _my_ name.”

“You fucking impotent,” Naruto growled at him.  “I'm _never_ coming anywhere near you—”

“I'll make you reconsider,” Gaara promised him. “It'll be best for you if you give up now. I'll give you everything you've asked from me.”

“ _No_ ,” Naruto snapped at him, and hung up on the man. He felt like hurling his phone across the wet parking and running over it with the car but he managed to stop himself from doing it. The phone was too precious. It contained the recorded conversation with Gaara.

He made sure to save the file. Then he sent it to his e-mail address and uploaded it to the cloud, and then he took his laptop bag. He opened the laptop, and copied the file into the computer, making sure it wasn't corrupted. Then he closed the laptop, took out the SIM card, and finally allowed himself to fall apart.

Fifteen minutes later he knocked on the doors to Tsunade’s office. The woman yelled _come in_ , and so he did, dragging one foot after the other.

“You look like shit,” she commented.

“I feel like shit,” he agreed. She clicked her tongue in dissatisfaction. “I'll need you to listen to this and tell me if I can use it,” he said, sitting in one of the chairs that were standing in front of her desk. He handed her a flash drive with the recording. She studied the drive, and then gave him a long, pointed look.

“I don’t like this,” she sighed, putting the flash drive into her pc.

“Do it on headphones, please,” he murmured when she clicked start, and he heard Gaara say his name. She made an unhappy noise, and paused the recording. Then she shuffled through her bag, and after almost four minutes of looking, found some very basic headphones. And then he watched her listen to the recording. He could still hear most of it, it wasn't muffled enough. He nervously tapped his foot against the wooden floor to drown the voices out but he still heard bits and pieces, and since he _knew_ what exactly was being said, she could've as well listened to the recording blaring through the speakers. He looked around the room, trying to busy himself with whatever but, while Tsunade's office was a mess, there wasn't anything interesting enough to turn his attention away from the sound of his and Gaara's voices.

“Is this real?” she quietly asked after she was done. He nodded, still refusing to look her in the eye. “I'm afraid it might not be admitted in court,” she whispered. “Who is this Gaara person?”

“My former client,” he answered. He listed her his companies.

“How public is he?” she asked.

“He’s pretty private,” he replied. She sent him a sorry look.

“And this was recorded on your phone?” she inquired. He nodded. “So it's not a professional recording device,” she sighed. “I assume he didn't know he was being recorded,” she continued. He shook his head. “It most probably _won't_ be admitted in court,” she said. “I'm sorry, Naruto, I really am.”

“Just because it was recorded on my phone? The sound quality is good, so,” he blurted out, “Don't tell me it's completely worthless,” he pleaded.

“It'll most probably be labeled as a hearsay,” she replied. “Disproving this would be really easy. I know I wouldn't have any trouble with it, and from what you're saying, he can afford himself a good lawyer too.”

“He can,” Naruto admitted. She let out a heavy sigh. “I have more things. _We_ have more things,” he blabbered. “I need you,” he confessed. “I need to help Sasuke. It's _all_ my fault.”

“Naruto,” she cooed. “You're a victim in here too—”

“But it's _my_ fault, and Sasuke's innocent,” the blonde croaked. “Tsunade, come with me, we need you, so—”

“Of course I'll come,” she assured him. “Naruto, what have you gotten yourself into?” she complained.

“This all could've been avoided,” he whimpered. “But I thought I knew what I was doing, and I _didn't_ ,” he said. “Every advice I've given to Sasuke ended up hurting him,” he sobbed. “I thought I could make him happy, and I've only made him more miserable, I—”

“Shh, Naruto,” she whispered, standing up, and pulling him into a tight embrace. His face landed in her ginormous bosom, and it didn't seem like she cared that her light button up was going to get dirty with his tears, saliva, and snot, so he stopped holding off. “Poor baby,” she cooed. She wasn't just his lawyer, she was like his aunt, and she had helped him out _a lot_ in the past. “Does Kushina know?”

“Not really,” he mumbled out.

“Do you want me to call her?” she asked.

“I don’t want to worry her,” he whispered, his voice drowning in her now wet and disgusting cleavage.

“I think she _should_ know,” the woman lectured him. “But it's your choice,” she sighed, combing through his hair. There were days when she seemed way more motherly than his mom. She was a someone to lean on. And she always knew what had to be done. And then there were days when she would gamble away almost all of her money, and Naruto had no idea how much she already owed him, and he didn’t even _want_ to think about it. Not to mention her massive alcohol problem. She was like detectives from bad crime fiction stories.

She knew how to get shit done. And she desperately needed help.

“Let's go,” he said, unwrapping himself from her strong embrace. He was pretty certain she'd be able to take him on and fuck him up without even breaking a sweat. It was an oddly comforting thought. Tsunade was oddly comforting. And familiar.

“Let me just pack everything,” she replied, grabbing some random items from her desk, and shoving them into her apparently bottomless bag.

“I'll just go and,” he stuttered, “buy milk,” he concluded. Sasuke wanted him to buy milk. Even though he was taking his coffee black. So it was for Karin. Once again, he proved himself to be surprisingly considerate. “Let's meet on the parking,” Naruto suggested. Tsunade gave him a quick nod, and he left her office. After a short walk he was close to a small grocery store. He entered it, grabbed the milk, paid for it, and left the store. And then he had to do a double take. The guy—the redhead from the club—was standing in front, evidently not caring about the rain pouring from the sky, smoking a cigarette.

“Hey, Naruto,” the man greeted him. He was short and tiny, and the blonde took a step back just to get further away from him. “That's not very nice,” the man complained. “I thought we've shared a moment—”

“Fuck off,” Naruto interrupted him. “Sasori,” he suddenly remembered. Gaara's told him the guy’s name. The brown eyes widened in a mild surprise but the sly smile didn't disappear from the redhead's face. He looked young. Like he was _maybe_ twenty years old.

“I'm still waiting for that lawsuit,” the man chuckled. “But, if I remember correctly, I still have an entire weekend,” he said, cracking his fingers. “I guess you needed to call off that romantic getaway,” he whispered. “Shame, you two look good together—”

“Shut up,” Naruto demanded.

“I mean it,” Sasori murmured. “You're pleasant to look at. I could fill an entire gallery with the photos of you two—”

“Get lost,” the blonde hissed, having finally gathered enough courage to walk past the short man.

“So rude,” he whined in a soft voice, following a few steps behind Naruto.

“I'll get you in jail,” Naruto muttered. “It's a promise—"

“Scary,” the man snorted. “I hope I'll find myself a nice blond needy bitch like you in there,” he whispered. Naruto turned around on his heel, and grabbed the shorter man by the front of his t-shirt. “What, you want to share the cell with me?” Sasori murmured, letting out a cloud of smoke straight into Naruto's face.

“How did you find me?” the blonde blurted out.

“I just couldn't get my eyes off you,” Sasori laughed at his own joke. “And you looked so sad in that car, I just had to come out and cheer you up,” he added.

“How much is he paying you?” Naruto growled.

“Gentlemen don't talk about money,” the redhead quietly scolded him. He looked somewhere behind Naruto. “Your date is here,” he whispered. The blonde turned his head to see Tsunade marching straight towards him. “Are you finally going to punch me or can I leave already?” Sasori asked.

“You're coming with me,” Naruto barked.

“I'm not,” the man replied. “Or are you going to kidnap me?”

Naruto made a frustrated noise. He wished he could just shove the kid into his car and make him confess all of his sins. But that would've been duress, and the confession wouldn't mean shit. He could call the cops but Sasori was probably going to leave before anyone would arrive because this wasn’t a violent crime in progress, and so it just wasn’t this _important_.

“If I see you again, I _am_ going to beat the living shit out of you,” Naruto barked, letting go of the man.

“Good, I like it rough,” Sasori murmured, straightening a crease on his t-shirt. He was dressed like a total hipster, and Naruto was pretty certain that hipsters haven't been _in_ for quite some time already. Now, when he had a chance to study the guy while not being drunk, he had no idea why he had found him attractive that night. Sasori was short and _thin_ , and bony, and looked somewhat _fake_. Like he escaped from some poster ad, and wasn't even an actual human being. He was flawless, his baby face already caked with photoshop. He was sporting a cleavage— _in this weather_ —and there was some bullshit low-polygon scorpion tattoo near his collarbone, and Naruto hated everything about him. “See you around,” Sasori snickered, spinning on his heel—the shoes he was wearing were probably the worst possible choice for this weather, not to mention that they were _white_ , and yet they were spotless. It didn't make any sense. The man shoved his hands into the pockets of his tight jeans, and walked away, hunching even though he was already short.

“Who's that?” Tsunade hissed, startling Naruto.

“Sasori,” the blonde answered.

“Really?” she asked, tilting her head. “I thought he'd be—”

“Don't,” he pleaded, and she promptly shut up. “Let's go,” he sighed, turning towards his car. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Sasuke fiddled with his phone, sitting on a couch, and _waiting_. Either for Karin or Naruto. He hated waiting. He had wanted to go with Naruto but the blonde pointed out that perhaps Karin was going to come in the meantime. Sasuke wasn't certain whether _this_ was the reason Naruto didn't want him there but after being accused of being _like Gaara_ , Sasuke gave up.

And waited.

The curtains and blinds were pulled closed, the lights were off. Sasuke could've launched the TV or whatever else but he knew he wouldn't be able to focus on it, and the noise wouldn't be _welcome_. So he glared at his phone. He's rejected about a dozen phone calls from his mother. She's also bombarded him with text messages saying that she loved him. He sent a curt reply but otherwise ignored her.

He tapped his fingers against his knee, and watched how car lights danced on the ceiling. He could've been trying to think of what he should do next but he simply didn't have enough energy to even pretend to care. He jerked up when he heard soft knocking, and then Naruto's voice announced that it was indeed him, Naruto, and not some impostor. Sasuke moved to get up from couch and greet the blonde properly but he didn't make it. Naruto quickly shoved a bulky woman towards Sasuke, introduced her as his lawyer, Tsunade, and then disappeared in his bedroom, yelling he needed rest.

“Hey, Sasuke,” the woman greeted him, slightly bowing her head, and shoving her hand into Sasuke's. She had a strong grip, almost _too_ strong. “I don’t really know what's going on, so if you could bring me up to speed—”

“My assistant is going to be here soon, she'll explain the situation better than I could,” Sasuke lied. “And now I'll excuse myself for a short moment to check up on—”

“Go ahead, kid,” the woman sighed, taking off her shoes. “I'll help myself to the coffee—”

“I'll pay you extra for your trouble,” Sasuke offered.

“Naruto is like a family to me, so don't worry about a thing,” she stated, wringing her hair dry, and leaving a small puddle on the corridor floor. Sasuke grabbed a few paper towels, and got on his knees to wipe the mess. “And you're neurotic just like him. This is going to be _fun_ ,” she commented, sending him a little smirk when he looked up at her. “ _Go to him_ ,” she hurried Sasuke, taking off her completely drenched jacket, and throwing it on the kitchen counter. “I'll be fine on my own, just don't forget that I'm here.”

“I'll be back soon,” he promised, and walked into the bedroom. He closed the doors behind himself, and sat on the edge of bed, studying the figure lying on the bed. Naruto was lying on his stomach, his shoes still on, his wet from the rain jacket still on. There was mud on the floor and on the linens, and Naruto didn't acknowledge Sasuke's presence in any way. “What's wrong?” Sasuke asked in a hushed voice.

“I'm just tired,” the blonde blurted out.

“ _Right_ ,” Sasuke sighed, half-lying on his side. His hand somehow ended up combing the wet golden locks away from Naruto's face. “You have a fever again,” he noticed. He left the bedroom, gave Tsunade, who was listening to something on headphones, a quick nod, entered the bathroom, grabbed towels and a hairdryer, and returned to the bedroom. Naruto didn't move at all. “Take off these wet clothes,” Sasuke sighed, pretty much forcing Naruto to sit up. The man did but he refused to turn his face towards Sasuke. “Naruto, take off these wet clothes,” Sasuke repeated. The blonde made an unhappy noise, kicked off his shoes, and took off his jacket and the t-shirt. “The socks and the pants too,” Sasuke insisted, kneeling behind the other man and wiping his hair and shoulders with a towel.

“I can do this myself,” the man mumbled out.

“But you didn't,” Sasuke whispered back. “So what's wrong?” he asked again. Naruto's shoulders and back felt cold under his fingers. Unlike his face, which was almost too hot to touch.

“…you'll be angry at me,” Naruto grunted.

“Perhaps,” Sasuke admitted.

“It doesn't help,” the blonde complained, letting out a miserable snort.

“I know I might end up being angry with you, and yet I'm here,” Sasuke argued. “Trying to dry you up because you don't want to do it yourself,” he hissed. “So what’s happened?”

“I called Gaara,” the man confessed. Sasuke stopped moving his hands.

“What for?” he asked.

“I thought it could help,” Naruto whined. “I was even ready to go to him but then… I think I screwed up,” he murmured.

“More than you've already—”

“Yes, _more_ ,” Naruto interrupted him, sounding impatient. “I recorded the conversation, like, I thought that if I got him to _confess_ , then we could just use it to speed things up but Tsunade says it's worthless,” he complained.

“If you talked to me, I would've told you it was going to be worthless,” Sasuke muttered. “Stop trying to be a hero—”

“ _You suck at it_ ,” Naruto finished the sentence, throwing himself back on the bed, and burying his face in the unpleasantly damp pillow. Sasuke let out a soft sigh.

“No, I meant to say that you're not alone,” he said. “And that I don't need a hero,” he added. He was lying. Initially, he did want to tell Naruto that he sucked at being a hero but it seemed that it was literally the last thing the blonde needed to hear.

“He said some things that… I don’t know if you'll want to—”

“I don’t have to listen to that conversation,” Sasuke offered.

“No, you should,” the blonde disagreed, sitting up again. “There might be something useful in there. Oh, and I met Sasori,” he breathed out. Sasuke gave him a questioning look as he pulled the man's pants down together with his socks. Then he returned to his place behind Naruto's back, and launched the hairdryer, combing through Naruto’s hair with his fingers. “Sasori is the name of the guy I… it's the name of that guy,” Naruto yelled over the noise. Then there was a sharp ring of the doorbell, and Sasuke moved to get up but he heard that Tsunade took care of everything, so he sat on the bed again.

“Sorry,” he whispered, making sure that Naruto's hair was completely dry.

“You do make me feel safe,” Naruto confessed out of the blue.

“What?” Sasuke mumbled out.

“One time, Gaara asked me if you make me feel safe, and… well, yeah, actually you do,” the man whispered, sounding broken and pathetic. Sasuke let out a shaky breath, turned off the hairdryer, put it away, the cable nicely rolled up, and rested his hands on Naruto's shoulders which were now getting dangerously hot too.

“You make me feel safe too,” Sasuke confessed. “You need to put on some warm clothes,” he lectured the other man, moving to get up from the bed and find some but Naruto stopped him, grabbing his hand and pulling Sasuke on the bed with him. “Karin will be here soon,” Sasuke reminded the blonde in a hushed voice.

“This might be the last time when you talk to me normally,” Naruto whimpered in reply.

“Because of something _Gaara_ said?” Sasuke huffed into the now dry mop of golden hair. “Don't be ridiculous.”

“Just humor me,” the blonde pleaded. Sasuke rolled his eyes, and put his arm around Naruto's waist.

“So what did he say?” Sasuke asked. “I see it's bothering you, so let's get this over with,” he murmured. Naruto choked back. “Just say it,” Sasuke breathed out. “You'll see that nothing will change.”

“…he called me a whore,” the blonde mumbled out. “And he said that I wanted it, and back then I _did_ want it, and—”

“Naruto, everyone knows that you didn't want it _like that_ ,” Sasuke assured him. “And you’re not a whore,” he said, pulling the other man into a tighter embrace. He heard Karin enter the apartment. Judging from the joyous squeals, she already knew Tsunade. “So what else did he say?” Sasuke inquired.

“He… Sasori’s called me a needy bitch,” Naruto mumbled out.

“I actually wouldn't mind you being more needy,” Sasuke sighed. “I'm sorry that they've made you feel bad about yourself but it doesn’t change the way _I_ feel about you,” he whispered straight into Naruto’s ear because he could hear that Karin was already getting impatient. "If I could, I would just stay here with you," Sasuke informed the man. "But I have to go there," he added in an apologetic tone. "You can rest, though. Let's just get you dressed up," he suggested, moving to leave the bed. Naruto's hand wrapped around his wrist and held him in place. Sasuke once again rested his weight on Naruto, planting a quick kiss on the scraped neck. "You're the only reason why I'm _not_ having a full-blown mental breakdown right now," he confessed in a barely audible whisper. "And I'll make them pay," he added. "I know it doesn't mean much but I will make them regret _everything_ ," he promised.

“You've said before that someone like you can't be seen with someone like _me_ ,” Naruto grumbled. “And back then I was only a stripper, so now it's much worse, and—”

“I was being stupid,” Sasuke replied. “And it's not _worse_ now. For me, nothing has changed,” he added. “Not to mention that right now I don’t have a reputation that would need upholding, so,” he paused and let out a strained sigh. “Sorry for what I've said back then. I guess it's one of those things that don't mean anything now,” he said. Naruto turned on his back, and Sasuke could _finally_ see his face. The blonde looked like the very personification of misery, his eyes glassy from the fever and puffy from crying, his nose stuffed, his skin swollen and reddish. “Naruto, I respect that you feel like shit right now, and I understand that you have your reasons but if any of these reasons involve _me_ , I want you to know that there's nothing to worry about,” Sasuke murmured, brushing his lips against Naruto’s heated forehead.

“I'm practically naked here,” the blonde blurted out, giving Sasuke a weird look. Sasuke raised his eyebrow in a mute question. “You've never seen me in this state of undress before,” Naruto explained as if he was making any sense.

“I've wanted to put more clothes on you for quite some time now,” Sasuke mumbled out.

“Yes, see, this is what I'm talking about,” Naruto grunted. “Shouldn't you be aroused or something?” he complained, nudging Sasuke's side. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the idiot.

“Karin and your lawyer are just outside these doors,” he stated, pointing at the said doors, “you’ve clearly been crying, I swear there’s snot on your face, and so yes, I'm not exactly getting off on this,” he barked quietly enough, so he wouldn't be overheard because the conversation they were having was pretty fucking embarrassing.

“There's no pleasing you,” Naruto snorted, wiping his face.

“Now I know why your lawyer said I was neurotic _too_ ,” Sasuke muttered.

“You've talked for _maybe_ a minute,” the blonde laughed. “It took me,” he paused and hummed, “it wasn’t until I came to your flat, and… then I guess it was at least one more hour. You've changed. You used to be so much better at hiding it,” he concluded with a mock sadness.

“We’ve known each other for three weeks,” Sasuke pointed out.

“Worst three weeks of your life, eh?” Naruto sighed.

“Not really,” Sasuke replied. “Not even close to it, to be honest,” he added, giving up and lying down. It didn't seem like Naruto was going to let him leave before he was going to be satisfied anyways.

“Yeah, I might be naïve and gullible, but _this_ I'm not going to believe,” the blonde grumbled.

“Worst three weeks of my life happened two years ago,” Sasuke sighed.

“Sorry,” the blonde whispered, giving Sasuke's forearm an awkward rub. “Sometimes I forget that you've… sorry,” he said. “I shouldn't even have said that, I just made myself sound like a total ass, and I swear I'm not a total ass,” he grunted. Sasuke opened his mouth to reply but he was interrupted with a loud, angry-sounding knocking on the bedroom doors.

“How much longer do you need?” Karin whined.

“Let me just get dressed,” Naruto yelled back.

“Did you just… are you for real?!” the woman complained.

“No, Karin, you can come here if you want,” Sasuke hastily offered. The blonde chuckled for no reason whatsoever.

“ _He's my cousin_ ,” Karin muttered through the doors. Sasuke cursed, and got up from bed. This time he wasn't stopped. He approached the doors, and opened them. “I did not want to see that,” Karin informed him with a huff, pointing at Naruto having a laughing fit on the bed while wearing only boxers.

“Sorry,” Sasuke replied, leaving the bedroom, and closing the doors behind himself. “Naruto and I were just _talking_ ,” he informed Karin. The lawyer tilted her head, clearly amused. “Talking,” he repeated.

“I don’t care,” Karin huffed, marching off and sitting by the coffee table. Sasuke sat on the couch, resting his elbows on his knees, and gnawing on his bottom lip. “It's good to see that you're alright,” Karin confessed, studying the generic pictures on the wall as if they were _the_ most interesting thing she's ever seen.

“I didn't mean to worry you,” Sasuke apologized.

“Karin’s the assistant you've been talking about, yes?” the lawyer asked, taking seat on the couch armrest. Sasuke nodded. “Lucky you,” she whistled. Sasuke nodded again.

“I'm no longer your assistant,” Karin informed him, this time actually facing Sasuke. “I actually got your job,” she mumbled out. “I was trying to refuse but—”

“No, it's… it's fine,” Sasuke breathed out.

“Your father said that taking your job was in _your_ best interest, and I'm really confused right now, and I've agreed, and,” she stuttered, “I'm _so_ sorry, I—”

“I'm glad it’s you,” Sasuke assured her. “I mean it, you've earned it,” he stated, awkwardly patting her shoulder.

“I mean, I just have your pay and responsibilities but it's like they created a completely new position because my title is different, and,” she blabbered, “I think it’s just for now, they just needed someone to take care of things while you're gone, and I'll do my best to—”

“Thank you, Karin,” Sasuke said. “You were the best assistant I've ever had, and I sincerely believe that you’ll do great this time too. You deserve to keep my former post,” he said.

“Now I know why he's so enamored with you,” the lawyer yawned. Sasuke could _feel_ the blush creeping up on his cheeks. “Karin, dear, relax. You've always been a hard worker, I'm certain you've earned it.”

“You did,” Sasuke agreed. He turned his head when he heard the bedroom doors open. Naruto slowly walked towards the couch, and then slouched on it, taking a weird furry blanket, and nesting himself in it. He looked like he was wearing at least two layers of socks and sweatpants, and then there was that thick hoodie. Sasuke made a surprised noise when he felt something heavy resting in his lap. When he looked down, it turned out that Naruto's decided to make him into his leg rest again.

“What did you earn?” Naruto chirped.

“You're in a _much_ better mood right now,” the lawyer commented.

 “Sasuke's actually good at cheering people up,” the blonde replied, making himself more comfortable, and lying on his side. “So, Karin? What did you earn?”

“I got Sasuke's job,” she mumbled out.

“So now we're both unemployed,” Naruto blurted out. “Congratulations, Karin, though. And I'm not being sarcastic or anything, seriously, congrats.”

“I wasn’t officially fired yet but I guess you're right,” Sasuke agreed.

“I didn't come here for you, Naruto,” Karin barked.

“I came here for you,” the lawyer chimed in.

“Let's just get started then,” Sasuke sighed. Everyone nodded. It was going to be a very long night.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've said it in one of the comments
> 
> I have a Chekhov's armoury in here, and I'm not afraid to use it
> 
> even though it means we're nearing the end :( 
> 
> SAD!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“Easier said than done,” Naruto's lawyer sighed, and Sasuke hoped he was going to hear either Naruto or Karin use her name  _soon_  because talking to her and not remembering it despite the fact that Naruto had introduced her to him less than half an hour ago wasn't sitting well with him. “I still have no idea what's actually happened, I only listened to the recording,” the woman grumbled. “Karin, will you be so kind and relay the situation—”

“I don't think I know enough to relay anything,” Karin sighed. “So I believe it should be either my  _dearest_ cousin or Sasuke. I can fill in the blanks if I do know something though,” she offered.

“Naruto, you're sick, so I'll,” Sasuke started and suddenly paused, when the blonde shifted, his heel digging straight into Sasuke's crotch. “Be more careful,” Sasuke hissed, trying to keep a straight face. Karin didn't even bat an eye but the lawyer looked amused.

“I'll explain as much, as I can,” Naruto blurted out. His foot moved as if he was trying to  _caress_  Sasuke's now aching balls with it. It was ridiculous and embarrassing, and Sasuke was more than grateful for that stupid blanket because there was no way he was going to ask Naruto to stop rubbing his foot against Sasuke’s crotch when the lawyer and Karin were in the same room. Sasuke gestured him to start talking and tensed when the blonde changed his position, so he was half sitting on the couch, and not so much lying anymore. This time Naruto managed to be more mindful. His foot, however, remained right where it was. Sasuke wasn't certain what to think of it, so he ignored it completely. “So,” Naruto mumbled out, “Gaara used to be my client. In the end he called off the wedding—”

“Why,” the lawyer interrupted him. Naruto rolled his eyes at her.

“One day it was just the two of us, he had a worse day, so he kind of shared a lot with me, and back then I was drunk out of my mind, and for some reason I thought that having sex with him was a good idea—”

“Sasuke, sorry for recommending my cousin to you,” Karin muttered. “I want you to know that if I knew about it, I would've never—”

“It's alright,” Sasuke assured her. Meeting Naruto was the one thing he didn't regret. He wasn't certain he was able to say it aloud with the two women present but he made a mental note to later tell Naruto that he was  _glad_  to meet him.

“ _Anyways_ ,” the blonde grunted, “we didn't have sex because I realized it was a terrible idea  _but_ there had been some groping, and that talk, and Gaara kind of decided he was in love with me,” he spat out in one breath. “So he called off the wedding, and asked me to become his partner. I refused. He still paid me, though,” Naruto blabbered. “I thought it was the end of it, so I, you know, disappeared from his radar, and for a few days it was alright but then he started to send me all these desperate messages asking me to see him. I didn't reply, and after a few months it became quieter. He was still sending me some texts but earlier it was at least ten per day, and then he went down to one every few days, and it's not so unusual for my former clients to do it, so I didn't pay it much mind,” Naruto explained. Sasuke kept his eyes on the other man. Some of the things he'd said were resembling  _their_ story. Except the fact that Naruto didn't disappear. He stayed. There was however a chance that he stayed  _because_  of this mess with Gaara. Sasuke turned his head away from the other man. He  _had_ asked Naruto to not say anything he might want to take back but there  _was_ a possibility that  _this_ , that Naruto saying all these things that promised something more, that them becoming physical, that Sasuke meeting Naruto's mother—that it was all because the blonde wanted his help but didn't realize that Sasuke would've tried to help him out even if their relationship remained strictly professional, so—

“You look braindead,” the lawyer commented, looking straight at Sasuke. “Something's wrong?”

“No, everything's—”

“Fine,” Naruto finished Sasuke's sentence as if he was trying to assure him that everything  _was_  indeed fine. Maybe he was trying to do just that. Or maybe he decided he didn't have time for Sasuke to question things that weren't important right now. “Then Karin called  _my mom_  to ask me to be Sasuke's best man,” Naruto uttered, giving his cousin a pointed look.

“Your  _mom_ ,” Sasuke repeated, feeling somewhat confused.

“Karin knew I wouldn't have agreed otherwise,” the blonde sighed, his foot rubbing against Sasuke's thigh in an almost apologetic manner. “Don't take it personally, Sasuke, I wouldn’t have agreed because Karin works for you. And because after Gaara I kind of gave up on seriously loaded clients like yourself,” he explained.

“I thought I needed you to agree,” Karin muttered. “I've been wrong, and I regret asking you for help. You have  _no_ idea how much I—”

“I don’t,” Sasuke interrupted her. She rolled her eyes at him, and rubbed her face, apparently forgetting she was wearing make-up because she smudged it all over her eyelids and cheeks. He decided against pointing it out to her, and it appeared that so did the rest. “Then there was that bachelor party,” he grumbled to go back to the main topic. “Naruto rented a suite in the  _exact same hotel_  he had taken the creep into.”

“It's one of the better ones,” the blonde blurted out. “ _Anyways_ , at like four a.m. Sasuke and I went to the hotel bar alone, and in there we ran into Gaara and his step-brother—”

“Naruto saw him, straddled me, and kissed me, telling me to pretend I was his boyfriend,” Sasuke complained. “I did,” he added, realizing that he had gone mad weeks ago. At least. Definitely not during the last few days like he assumed earlier.

“You were awful at it,” the blonde said. “ _Anyways_ ,” he started, and Sasuke wondered how many times Naruto was going to repeat the word, “I was trying to bullshit my way out of it, we've left the hotel  _immediately_ —”

“The creep bought the hotel,” Sasuke chimed in.

“What do you mean he  _bought_ the hotel?” Karin asked. “You can't buy something this big so fast, it makes no sense—"

“No, he had bought it  _earlier_ ,” Naruto sighed. Karin frowned at her cousin, and Sasuke realized that the story  _was_ a tad bit confusing. Or perhaps it was just Naruto's storytelling. Well, he did have a fever. “So we went to Sasuke's place—”

“All of you?” the lawyer inquired. Naruto shook his head. “What for?”

“What?” the blonde mumbled out.

“Why did you come to Sasuke?” Karin scoffed, audibly getting annoyed and impatient.

“There was something I wanted to discuss with him,” Naruto grumbled. “It doesn’t matter,” he insisted when he saw Karin open her mouth again.

“In less than twenty four hours from our first encounter with the creep, that stupid article appeared,” Sasuke said. The lawyer gave him a quizzical look. “It was a picture of Naruto kissing me,” Sasuke clarified.

“Why would anyone care?” the lawyer questioned.

“It's because of Sasuke's fiancee,” Naruto answered. “She's like a social media celebrity,” he explained. “So it was kind of a big deal in the gossip world,” he added in a strained voice.

“Karin, I’m kind of disappointed with you,” the lawyer murmured. “This job clearly wasn't cut out for Naruto.”

“I'm disappointed with myself too,” Karin admitted. “Sorry, Tsunade, I wasn’t expecting my cousin to fuck up this spectacularly,” she chirped. Sasuke nodded.  _Tsunade_. The lawyer’s name was Tsunade.

“Et tu, Brute?” the blonde whined, pressing his foot against Sasuke’s crotch. Sasuke realized in terror that while he wasn't exactly aroused, he wasn't completely limp either. “But yes, I did fuck up. At first everything was fine, though. I called Gaara, had him pull down the article, the site wrote a formal apology, it was okay. I went to him, we've talked for a while. I agreed to send him one text per day and spend two weeks with him after this job was going to be over. In return, he was supposed to stop doing weird creepy shit. It didn't work too well, I mean just a few hours later he ordered some food for me, and he  _knew_ I wasn’t home,” he confessed. Sasuke turned his face to look at the blonde. This was new to him too.

“You've never said—”

“There was no reason to tell you back then,” Naruto dismissed him.

“If you've said something, maybe it wouldn't end up like  _this_ ,” Karin scolded her cousin. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. It probably would've ended up  _just like this_. The only difference would be him knowing, and if he'd known it from the very beginning, he simply would had been more worried than he had. According to Naruto's logic, it was pointless. Sasuke didn't agree but the idea wasn’t completely nonsensical.

“We can't change it right now,” Naruto argued, getting more comfortable, and tipping his head backwards, glaring at the ceiling. “I stayed with Sasuke for two nights, and then moved to another apartment,” he continued. “Then I,” he breathed out and paused, “I went out clubbing and had some sex,” he confessed. “And then it turned out that Gaara had hired Sasori to just follow me and document everything I was doing. I ended up having sex with him—”

“How stupid can you—”

“Don't,” Sasuke interrupted Karin. She did close her mouth even if she couldn't hide how annoyed she was.

“I didn’t know Sasori was doing it, I thought it was simply a random hookup, and then Sasuke's fiancee received a flash drive with these photos and a  _movie_ ,” Naruto mumbled out in a tiny voice. “So Sasuke fired me.”

“To be honest, Naruto,” Tsunade whispered, sounding sorry, “I'm surprised it took Sasuke this long.”

“Where is this guy?” Karin barked. The blonde shrugged his shoulders. “I'm going to destroy him,” she huffed. “And then I'm going to destroy  _you_. I trusted you with  _Sasuke_ ,” she snapped. Sasuke gave her a sideways look. He wished she stopped, at least for some time, because less than half an hour ago Naruto was crying, and he was still very obviously vulnerable, and sick, and it wasn't exactly  _his_ fault that everything got so messed up. Sasuke's hand landed on Naruto's foot, his fingers wrapped around the ankle. Sasuke gave it a reassuring squeeze. He felt like he should've said something but he had no idea  _what_  exactly it should be. He wasn’t good at this, he guessed. He had no idea how to comfort Naruto when he was so insecure, and when there were other people nearby. Sasuke didn't feel comfortable when it wasn’t just the two of them. And he knew that sometimes his comfort wasn't as important; he wished he knew what to say because he was quite certain he'd be able to force himself to squeeze the words through his throat no matter how embarrassing it would've been, and Sasuke knew that this was one of those situations in which he should've been able to say the right thing but there was nothing.

“What's the deal with Sasuke and you?” Tsunade questioned. Sasuke was grateful for the change of subject but he wished it changed into something else.

“I don’t think either of us knows,” Naruto snorted. “It's not important though.  _But_ Gaara is envious of Sasuke. Sasuke went to him to give him some business presentation—”

“Why would you go to him?” Tsunade interrupted Naruto.

“I had no idea it was going to be him,” Sasuke explained. “He wanted me to leak Naruto's photos. And then, when I refused, he showed me the photos he'd made of  _me_ ,” he confessed. He heard Karin letting out a soft sigh.

“Sasuke disappeared from work for two days, I wasn’t able to reach him through the phone, and so I called Naruto,” she chimed in. “I thought he perhaps  _was_ with Sasuke but he wasn't.”

“I found Sasuke at his apartment,” Naruto continued. “He was just… shaken. I've told him some things, and it turns out that Gaara somehow heard it all,” he whimpered.

“ _What_ ,” Sasuke barked, his fingers biting into Naruto's flesh. “You've never said—”

“I learned about it today,” the blonde murmured. “Sorry, I should've—”

“What's the guarantee he doesn't hear us  _now_?” Sasuke questioned. Naruto bit on his bottom lip. Sasuke felt his heart speed up. He was scared. Actually scared. Just like back then, when Gaara'd shown him the pictures, it was the same thing all over again but the curtains  _could_ save him from the prying eyes but there was no way to defend himself against  _this_ , there was no safe place for him.

“Sasuke,” Naruto whispered, his voice soft and soothing, his fingers on Sasuke's arms because yes, Naruto wasn’t lying anymore, he was sitting up, and he looked concerned, and Sasuke suddenly remembered that it wasn’t just the two of them, that there were other people watching.

“Sasuke, what's wrong?” Karin asked, sounding uncharacteristically serious and worried, openly worried.

“It's nothing,” Sasuke breathed out.

“I'll open the windows, it'll do you good,” Tsunade decided, getting up from the arm rest. She stopped when Naruto pulled on her wrist, his legs in Sasuke's lap, his upper half hanging above the floor.

“Don't open anything,” Naruto blurted out. “Just sit, okay?” he pleaded. She gave him a doubtful look but nodded, and helped him not fall face first on the floor by pushing him towards the couch. “Sasuke, do you want to go to the bedroom or stay here?” Naruto whispered straight into his ear, his voice barely above audible level.

“I don’t want to go anywhere,” Sasuke snapped. It was embarrassing. He was the only one freaking out, and he was supposed to be the collected one. Once again, he wasn't good enough, too  _weak_ , and perhaps his mother was right about him being more  _sensitive_ , maybe he was just oversensitive, losing his shit whenever anything mildly disappointing was happening—

“I can search through the flat if you want, Naruto,” Tsunade offered. The blonde nodded, and she got up. Sasuke followed her with his eyes as she searched through the jungle of potted plants.

“I can throw them all out,” the blonde suggested. “And that one,” he said, pointing his finger at the plant he's owned for the last twenty years, “was at Sasuke's place for quite some time, so I guess this one definitely needs to go—”

“You love this plant,” Karin protested. “Hell, you love  _all_ of them,” she added.

“I can buy new ones,” Naruto sighed. “Let's just throw them all out.”

“There's nothing wrong with that plant, trust me, I've spent enough time with it to find anything out of order,” Sasuke barked, massaging his temple with straightened fingers because right now it was once again him freaking out and people around him trying to accommodate him. He hated it, he hated  _every_ single thing about it.

“It's just to be on the safe side,” Naruto argued, getting back to his side of the couch, his knee resting against Sasuke’s thigh even though there was plenty of room for him to move  _away_ , and not touch Sasuke at all.

“You went back to your old apartment at night just to get them,” Sasuke muttered. It was chaos, and he was feeling overwhelmed. He wanted everyone to leave, so he could go through everything on his own because he  _knew_  he wasn’t going to just trust Tsunade, she could overlook something, and—

“And I don’t think there's anything wrong with them,” Tsunade added in a calm voice. “Chill out,” she ordered. Naruto frowned at her. “I'm serious,  _chill out_ ,” she repeated. “You're giving me a headache. Naruto, do try to put some chronological order to your story, think before you say something,” she pleaded. “We have all night, you don't have to tell us everything in less than ten minutes,” she murmured, getting on her knees, and checking the underside of the coffee table. “Karin, I get that you care about Sasuke but be more understanding,” she continued. “Sasuke, just do whatever you need to do to calm down, freaking out is nothing shameful, the situation you're in is pretty sticky and unpleasant,” she concluded. Sasuke felt his cheeks and ears heat up. She knew. Of course she knew, they  _all_ knew, and now they were feeling sorry for him, and—

“I'm fine,” he insisted. He didn't sound too convincing.

“Yeah, Sasuke's fine, don't worry about him” Naruto agreed, sprawling himself on the couch. Karin tilted her head but it seemed she decided against saying anything. “Back then, that thing Gaara's heard, I've said it when Sasuke and I were close to the flat entrance,” Naruto blurted out. “So maybe we should be looking like, I don't know, closer to the doors—”

“There's no guarantee that there's been only one bug,” Tsunade pointed out but she did move closer to the doors, studying them for the longest time. Sasuke breathed out. The other people's attention seemed to had shifted away from him, and it was exactly what he needed. The lawyer started raising random objects and checking them. “To be completely honest, I think we're fine,” she stated. “But I'll look in the less obvious places too,” she added. “Or we can discuss everything in writing,” she suggested.

“It's not a bad idea,” Naruto agreed. “I need to show you the pictures and the recording anyways, so,” he paused. “Sasuke, Karin: any thoughts?”

“Fine,” Sasuke sighed.

“I am not looking forward to these pictures,” Karin mumbled out but nodded anyways. “And it'll be easier to keep track of everything,” she murmured, getting up from the chair and going to grab her laptop. Tsunade brought hers, and the two started setting up a safe channel. Naruto let out a massive yawn and moved to get up but Sasuke stopped him, and got up himself. He grabbed his and Naruto's laptops, and returned on the couch.

“This feels like a LAN party,” the blonde chirped, launching his laptop, and fluffing the pillow behind his back. Nobody else said a word. Karin sent Sasuke logins and passwords for both him and Naruto. He gave her an appreciative nod, and forwarded it to Naruto. Less than two minutes later they were all online. All of their logins were just five letters long. The last three letters of their names and two last ones of their family names. And so Sasuke became Ukeha, Naruto Utoki, Karin Rinki and Tsunade Adeju.

Sasuke doubted it had any actual purpose. Nevertheless, it felt somewhat more anonymous than if they were using their actual names or surnames.

**Adeju** _:_ _So let's continue_

**Utoki** _: sure_

**Utoki** _: where were we_

**Rinki** _:_ _The creep heard something you've said._

**Utoki** **:** _right_

**Utoki** **:** _so then we went to my mom's_

**Utoki** **:** _and… are we using_ _ppl_ _names here or not_

**Utoki** **:** _because_ _we didn't set up any nicknames so_

**Utoki** **:** _i'm_ _confused_ _af_

**Rinki** **:** _You're going to share pictures and_ _a_ _recording here, so there's no point in_ _avoiding real names._

**Utoki** :  _makes sense_

**Utoki** **:** _so_ _sasori_ _came by_

**Utoki** **:** _mom threw him out_ _tho_

**Utoki** **:** _so there’s not much to say_

**Ukeha** **:** _He knew where to find us_

**Utoki** **:** _u guys don't text much huh_

**Utoki** **:** _anyways_

**Utoki** **:** _on the next morning_ _we learned that everything fucking imploded_

**Utoki** **:** _gaara_ _said he did it because of what he heard me say_

**Adeju** **:** _What exactly happened?_

**Rinki** **:** _The data on the projects Sakura's been working on was leaked._ _It resulted in Harunos' stock prices dropping by_ _28_ _%, and ours by 19%._ _In just one day._

**Adeju** **:** _Why were you affected too?_

**Rinki** **:** _Because_ _of the planned_ _merge + Sasuke's been accused of causing the leak._

**Adeju** **:** _Shit_

**Utoki** **:** _yeah_

**Utoki** **:** _so we came here_ _and_ _sasuke_ _talked to his father, and his father told him to resign but Sasuke didn't, and_ _i_ _guess_ _he's about to be officially fired_

**Adeju** **:** _Firing someone isn't this easy so relax._

**Rinki** **:** _Right now I'm doing Sasuke's job but_ _, like I've said earlier, it's like it's a completely new position._

**Utoki** **:** _then_ _i'm_ _the only unemployed person in here T^T_

**Utoki** **:** _anyways!_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _went to_ _tsunade_ _but_ _i_ _called_ _gaara_ _before_ _i_ _d_ _id_

**Utoki** **:** _i'll_ _just send u the recording_ _but_ _pls_ _listen to it on headphones_

Sasuke glared at the attached file. He didn't really want to listen to it. He saw Tsunade sharing her headphones with Karin. He didn't even make a move to go and get his. He flinched when he felt a hand gently landing on his knee. He turned his head to look at Naruto but the blonde was already shoving headphones into his hands, looking away. Sasuke didn't plug them in. He watched Karin's face turning almost ashen.

 **Utoki** **:** _c'mon_  sasuke

“I don’t want to listen to it,” Sasuke whispered, hoping the women weren't going to hear him over the recording. The conversation must've been rather short because almost immediately after the words left his lips, he saw Karin typing something, practically stabbing the keyboard with her fingers.

**Rinki** **:** _This is sick._

**Rinki** **:** _Sorry Naruto._

**Utoki** **:** _no worries_

**Utoki** **:** _should_ _i_ _just_ _continue the story or do u want to discuss the recording now_

**Adeju** **:** _Continue._

**Utoki** **:** _sure_

**Utoki** **:** _so then_ _i_ _asked_ _tsunade_ _if_ _i_ _could use it in court and_ _u_ _said no_

**Utoki** **:** _so_ _i_ _asked u to come here and u did, so thx_

**Utoki** **:** _but before that_ _i_ _went to a grocery store and met_ _sasori_ _there_

**Ukeha** **:** _In person?_

**Utoki** **:** _yeah_

**Utoki** **:** _he didn't really say anything important_ _tho_

**Utoki** **:** _but he knew where_ _i_ _was so_ _i_ _guess it's kind of important_

**Utoki** **:** _and that's pretty much everything_ _i_ _think_

**Adeju** **:** _So what do you want to achieve?_

**Utoki** **:** _fix everything_

**Adeju** **:** _Like I've already told Naruto, the recording probably won't be admitted in court._ _Gaara didn't know he was being recorded, and he's not a public figure, so you can't record him without his permission_

**Adeju** **:** _And it's been recorded on Naruto's phone, so it's not a professional recording device_

**Utoki** **:** _so it's basically worthless_

**Adeju** **:** _I'm afraid so_

**Rinki** **:** _Gaara pretty much confessed to everything in it. When does a person become a 'public figure'?_

**Adeju** **:** _They basically need to be widely recognized_ _by the public_

**Rinki** **:** _So Sakura is a public figure_ _._

**Rinki** **:** _She's pretty famous on Twitter and Instagram_ _._

**Adeju** **:** _Yes_ _, she is_

**Rinki** **:** _And so is Sasuke_ _._

**Utoki** **:** _how_

**Rinki** **:** _Sasuke appeared in her posts a lot_ _._

**Adeju** **:** _In this case Sasuke too can be seen as a public figure_

**Rinki** **:** _What if Sakura wrote about_ _Gaara_?

**Adeju** **:** _It would still be slander._ _And he was recorded prior to becoming public, so…_

**Utoki** **:** _sasuke_ _didn't want_ _to be that public figure_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _think_

**Ukeha** **:** _You're correct._

**Adeju** **:** _It doesn't matter whether it happened_ _voluntarily or not_

**Utoki** **:** _what if the recording was leaked_

**Utoki** **:** _into the internet_

**Utoki** **:** _assuming it would go viral but since this is kind of a scandal and people write about it anyways_

**Adeju** **:** _Leaking it is illegal_

**Utoki** **:** _u said it won't get admitted in court_

**Utoki** **:** _so if my name was the only thing linking me to it_

**Utoki** **:** _and_ _i_ _can distort the recording so u won't hear my name_

**Utoki** **:** _u said it will be easy to_ _get it dismissed_

**Adeju** **:** _They'll be able to find out the location from which the recording was uploaded. And the MAC address of the device, and they'll know it's yours_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _can buy a laptop with cash_

**Utoki** **:** _send it to someone_

**Utoki** **:** _have them upload_ _the recording_

**Utoki** **:** _and then they'd destroy the_ _evidence_

**Adeju** **:** _So then it would be their location…_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _know someone who travels a lot_

**Adeju** **:** …

**Utoki** **:** _what_

**Adeju** **:** _This might work_ _. Assuming this friend is going to agree_

**Utoki** **:** _they will_

**Ukeha** **:** _And what is it going to achieve? You'd just be_ _pointlessly risking your freedom._

**Rinki** **:** _It's not so pointless._

**Rinki** **:** _If it works, it might give the police enough reason to get a warrant on_ _Gaara. There's a chance that he_ _didn't_ _destroy all the evidence_ _._

**Utoki** **:** _and we have the pictures_

**Utoki** **:** _but the files are probably infected_

**Utoki** **:** _so_ _i'll_ _show them to u on my old laptop_

Naruto unbundled himself from the blanket, and got up from the couch. He rummaged through his stuff, and came back with an ancient-looking laptop.

“We'll need to wait for like five minutes before it launches,” the blonde snorted. “I've never had the heart to throw this thing out,” he murmured.

“Hoarder,” Karin commented. “Maybe it's for the best that you change flats so often and that you don't have enough time to accumulate worthless junk,” she said.

“Aside from plants, everything I own can fit into three travel bags,” Naruto protested.

“It's only because you don't have the opportunity to do as you please,” she insisted.

“ _Hon_ _hon_ _hon_ ,” the blonde barked. His voice was however free of any bite. “I'm  _not_ a hoarder,” Naruto muttered, intensely looking at  _Sasuke_ , for whatever reason. Sasuke, who wasn't even a part of the conversation.

“I really don't care,” Sasuke replied because both of Uzumakis were clearly expecting an answer.

“ _Daww_ ,” Karin cooed at Naruto, and it sounded surprisingly mean. The blonde showed her tongue. Sasuke had no idea how in the hell they had enough energy to bicker. Or what was it all about, and why they knew but he didn't. “Sorry about outing you,” Karin snorted.

“Yeah, right, I don't believe you're sorry,” Naruto sighed, throwing himself back on the couch. “I swear you keep a burn book under your pillow.”

“I keep a what?” Karin questioned, looking rather unimpressed, as if she wasn’t certain how offended she was supposed to be. Well, to be completely honest, Sasuke had no idea either.

“Don't be rude, Naruto,” he scolded the blonde.

“I'm not being rude,” Naruto whined. “Were all of you too important to watch any movies or what?” Naruto complained.

“Excuse me?” the lawyer chimed in. “I've seen lots of movies,” she grumbled. “And at last this thing is finally on,” she exclaimed, turning the screen, so it would be facing the couch. Karin sat on the rug in front of the table.

Sasuke glared at the long list of attachments. He didn't want to see them. He leaned back, resting his head on the back rest, and glued his eyes to the ceiling. He heard someone furiously clicking. Then he heard Naruto's labored panting and some faded music, and nasty squelching sounds. Just for a few seconds because whoever opened the video, paused it just as fast. But it was still a lot. He breathed out through his nose. Then the clicking stopped, and it seemed like the women were watching the video using headphones. Sasuke wished someone kept on talking because he could still hear bits and pieces. He jerked up when he felt a hot weight resting against his side.

“You'll end up being the only person, who hasn't seen it,” the blonde whispered, his head on Sasuke's shoulder, his mouth pretty much in Sasuke's ear.

“I can live with this,” Sasuke quietly grunted in reply.

“I'm the one starring in it,” Naruto sighed.

“So?” Sasuke barked.

“ _So_ it's kind of weird that it's bothering you more than me,” the man blurted out. Sasuke closed his eyes. Perhaps Naruto was right, and Sasuke was acting silly, refusing to watch and hear everything when they had so little to go on. No other person had this issue. “You're a good guy, Sasuke,” the blonde commented.

“It doesn't sound like a compliment,” Sasuke grunted.

“Being a good guy doesn't make your life easier but that  _was_  a compliment,” Naruto disagreed. “It's like I've said before, I  expected you to be more of a business shark. And you’re not.”

“Disappointed?” Sasuke muttered.

“No,” the blonde answered, bundling himself up in that stupid furry blanket of his. “It's over,” he informed Sasuke. Sasuke heard that the laptop was closed. He finally allowed himself to look down. The women were sending Naruto pitiful smiles, and Sasuke could almost physically feel his anger levels rising.

**Rinki** **:** _Sorry Naruto._

**Utoki** **:** _no worries_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _kind of got over this already_

**Rinki** **:** _I have no idea what to do with it._

**Rinki** **:** _I guess it proves that this guy forced himself on you_ _._

**Utoki** **:** _he didn't exactly force himself on me_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _was a rather willing participant_

**Adeju** **:** _But you_ _wouldn’t have been one if you knew who this guy was_

**Adeju** **:** _You can easily prosecute the guy_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _sure hope so_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _mean he followed us around and made photos_

**Adeju** **:** _That's not what I mean. I guess we'll have this conversation later. Right now let's focus on Gaara_

**Rinki** **:** _So let's get back to that phone conversation._

**Ukeha** **:** _They'll know_ _the conversation was_ _recorded by Naruto, they'll know the file was created on a device belonging to Naruto_

**Utoki** **:** _lol_ _i_ _buy almost everything with cash_

**Utoki** **:** _so_ _there’s literally nothing linking me to_ _that_ _device_

**Rinki** **:** _I've always assumed you're paranoid but look at you._

**Utoki** **:** _/_ _)°w°(\_

**Rinki** **:** _But if you're going to pretend you have no idea where the recording came from… what about this_ _Sasori business?_

**Utoki** **:** _what do u mean_

**Adeju** **:** _I'll discuss this later with Naruto but don't worry, Karin_

**Adeju** **:**   _The recording won't be admitted as evidence but_ _we_ _have enough other to win the case_

**Rinki** **:** _But everyone will know it was Naruto, who recorded everything and leaked it…_

**Adeju** **:** _Probably yes_

**Adeju** **:** _But nobody will be able to prove it_ _beyond reasonable doubt_

**Rinki** **:** _Can you prove that it was Sasori, who recorded Naruto on that video?_

**Adeju** **:** _We have security footage to support this claim_ _but yes, it's possible that we won't be able to prove it_

**Rinki** **:** _This sucks._

**Adeju** **:** _Yes_

**Adeju** **:** _What about_ _that thing Gaara's said about buying the stock back? Does it hold any value?_

**Rinki** **:** _Yes but we don't have enough resources to make it happen_ _._

**Utoki** **:** _how much do u need_

**Rinki** **:** _If you had that kind of money, you would've stopped working a long time ago._

**Utoki** **:** _duh_

**Utoki** **:** _but it's kind of_ _a_ _guaranteed profit_

**Utoki** **:** _and_ _i_ _know some_ _ppl_ _with money to_ _invest_

**Utoki** **:** _who will be more than happy_ _to talk to me_

**Utoki** **:** _and who don't need to work_

**Ukeha** **:** _No_

**Rinki** **:** _It's not a guaranteed profit._

**Utoki** **:** _this part_ _i'll_ _leave on_ _ur_ _head_

**Utoki** **:** _if_ _i_ _ask them all to invest, some of them are bound to do it_

**Rinki** **:** _Are you going to ask them to invest in Harunos too?_

**Utoki** **:** _why not_

**Ukeha** **:** _Don't you have enough problems with just ONE of your clients???_

**Utoki** **:** _u r one too_

**Utoki** **:** _and it's not like_ _i'm_ _planning to talk to the crazy ones_ _duh_

Sasuke let out a frustrated groan.

**Utoki** **:** _relax_

**Ukeha** **:** _There's a reason why you don't stay in contact with them_

**Utoki** **:** _yeah_ _i_ _don't_ _want to stay in contact with them_

**Utoki** **:** _but most of them are decent_ _ppl_

**Rinki** **:** _I think Naruto should go for it._

**Ukeha** **:** _He shouldn't_

**Adeju** **:** _Why_?

**Ukeha** **:** _This all started because Naruto didn't keep the_ _professional distance_

**Ukeha** **:** _And now you want him to do it again_

**Ukeha** **:** _Not to mention that it's fucking illegal_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _didn't keep the professional distance from u either_

**Ukeha** **:** _And look where it got us_

**Utoki** **:** _ok_

**Utoki** **:** _nobody_ _will be able to prove anything_

**Utoki** **:** _i'm_ _the only thing connecting these_ _ppl_ _and_ _i'm_ _not_ _investing_

**Ukeha** **:** _You're basically planning a fraud_

**Rinki** **:** _But it could solve this issue_ _._

**Adeju** **:** _I agree_

**Adeju** **:** _It's not a bad idea_

**Adeju** **:** _I'm actually surprised Naruto didn't get into business earlier_

**Adeju** **:** _You have some pretty solid connections_

**Utoki** **:** _wow_ _tsunade_ _u don’t know me at all_

**Rinki** **:** _Yeah, Naruto's not fit for anything serious._

**Utoki** **:** _rude_

**Utoki** **:** _but basically yeah u r right_

**Utoki** **:** _i_ _don’t do boring shit_

**Utoki** **:** _sasuke_ _???_

**Utoki** **:** _any thoughts????_

**Ukeha** **:** _I've already told you that it's a terrible idea_

**Utoki** **:** _…_

**Utoki** **:** _i'm_ _still gonna do it_

**Utoki** **:** _sorry_

**Ukeha** **:** _…_

**Adeju** **:** _What else do we have on agenda?_

**Rinki** **:** _The marriage & the merge._

**Adeju** **:** _?_

**Rinki** **:** _Sasuke's still engaged to Sakura._

**Rinki** **:** _If Naruto succeeds,_ _Harunos might calm down._

**Rinki** **:** _And the merge_ _could_ _happen._

**Rinki** **:** _The question is whether Sasuke wants it to happen._

Sasuke leaned forward, and looked at Karin, who tilted her head towards Naruto and raised an eyebrow. Naruto refused to stare at him, his face positively blank and devoid of emotion. Sasuke let out a soft sigh.

“I don’t,” he admitted.

“Thought so,” Karin murmured in reply. And then she started typing again.

**Rinki** **:** _It'll take some coercing to convince your father that the merge is a bad idea._

**Rinki** **:** _But thanks to this scandal, it can be done._

**Rinki** **:** _However, I doubt he's_ _going_ _to accept Naruto._

**Rinki** **:** _No offense._

**Utoki** **:** _none taken_

**Rinki** **:** _So if I were you, I would thread carefully._

**Rinki** **:** _And wait at least until everything goes back to how it was._

“I'm tired of waiting,” Sasuke muttered, surprising even himself.

“I believe you should first think this through,” Karin argued. “Doing things hastily is—”

“I  _know_ ,” Sasuke interrupted her. “But I'm tired of it,” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes. After a few seconds he felt her weight settling against his legs since she still was sitting on the floor. And then he felt Naruto’s body resting against his shoulder. “You may not look alike but it's obvious that you're related,” Sasuke grunted. They both sent him questioning looks. “Nevermind,” he decided.

“I'm still kind of curious,” Naruto whined.

“I'm not,” Karin huffed. “We're  _nothing_  alike,” she stated in a flat voice. “So excuse me but you're mistaken.”

“You're more similar than you think,” Sasuke disagreed.

“Is there anything else you want to discuss?” Tsunade yawned, interrupting them.

“Not right now, I guess,” Naruto replied. “Thanks for your help,” he said, getting up from the couch, and giving hera hearty hug. Sasuke realized he wouldn't have been surprised by it even if today was the first time Naruto's ever met his  _lawyer_. Because, apparently, hugging your lawyer seemed like a very Naruto thing to do.

“Naruto, do swing by later when you have the time,” Tsunade ordered him, fixing her hair. “I'll draft the lawsuits by tomorrow evening, so come to pick them up. And I'll want to have a longer talk with you,” she said, giving him a loud wet kiss on his forehead. “Get some sleep,” she concluded, apparently ready to leave. “Karin, is there something you want to discuss with them or are you leaving too?”

“I'm leaving,” Karin replied, getting up from the floor. She approached the mirror and frowned when she realized her make-up smudges made her look like a sad panda. “Sasuke, I won't be able to do much,” she warned him. “And I can't really talk to you during the workday,” she said in an apologetic tone, wiping the smudge with her finger.

“I understand,” Sasuke assured her. “Thank you for everything,” he added, standing up to walk her and the lawyer to the doors.

“I'll call you tomorrow evening,” Karin promised. “Naruto, I hope you’ll be busy tomorrow.”

“I will,” the blonde assured her. “Take care.”

She gave her cousin an appreciative nod, Tsunade bid Sasuke goodbye by once again trying to crush his fingers in her iron grip, and then the women left, and it was just Naruto and Sasuke alone.

And Sasuke had no idea what to do about this fact.

“I think we should like spend the night at a hotel or something,” Naruto suggested.

“You've said it's easy to bribe the hotel staff,” Sasuke sighed.

“But at least we’ll know nobody's listening in on us,” the blonde argued.

“That was… just me being paranoid,” Sasuke mumbled out, still awkwardly standing in the corridor.

“It's hardly paranoia when it's already happened,” Naruto disagreed. “You're  _not_  being paranoid. The things that freak  _me_ out—they  _ar_ _e_  irrational.  _You_ are freaking out because of something that's already happened,” he murmured. “So don't feel bad about it,” he pleaded.

Sasuke gnawed on the inside of his cheek. He was still afraid to say anything because he had no idea how many people were going to hear him. And yes, Tsunade did check the apartment but perhaps she wasn't thorough enough. But it was also clear that Naruto didn't feel too threatened about staying inside. He also wasn’t scared of going  _out_ , and being there in the open. It was humiliating to be in a constant need of reassurance. The fact that Sasuke needed at least ten minutes to gather enough courage to walk through doors was shameful.

He didn’t want to be weak like this.

“C'mon, Sasuke, let's just pack our stuff and go,” Naruto whispered. “Being here isn't exactly comfortable.”

“…it’s not,” Sasuke admitted. Naruto nodded at that, and got up from the couch, the blanket draped over his shoulders as if he was a prehistoric warrior, who had caught a cyan woolly mammoth, and was now parading around in its fur. The blonde's hand landed on Sasuke's back.

“I guess you're not so much into group projects,” Naruto blabbered, leading Sasuke towards the bedroom.

“Not really, no,” Sasuke quietly admitted. “I guess I was a deadweight today.”

“I wouldn't go this far,” the blonde protested, entering the room. “It was just pretty obvious that you were out of your element,” he murmured, leaving Sasuke standing in front of the bed, and gathering their travel bags. They still haven’t unpacked from the failed trip to Naruto's mom.

“What about your mom?” Sasuke asked, suddenly panicked. She was living alone, and they left her there, and Gaara knew exactly where she was living—

“What about her?” Naruto asked.

“She’s alone,” Sasuke breathed out.

“I've told her to call these two guys, so they would stay with her,” the blonde replied. “She's not alone,” he assured Sasuke, shoving a bag into his hand, and going back to the living room to collect their laptops. “I hope you can still drive,” Naruto blurted out. Sasuke nodded. “Great,” the blonde chirped. “Let's find ourselves somewhere safe then,” he decided, looking as if he had twice as much energy as Sasuke despite being sick.

* * *

 

“I'm dead tired,” Naruto muttered, his face buried into the pillow. Sasuke shrugged, realizing that before Naruto there must've been countless other people drenching the pillow cases with their saliva. And so pressing one’s face into them was disgusting. “I'm too tired to sleep,” the blonde kept on whining. “How the fuck aren't you complaining when you had to drive too?”

“I'm used to being tired,” Sasuke replied. He turned on his side to look at the other man, trying to forget about all these people that have already slept in this bed. The two weren’t able to be picky about the hotel, and so nobody's read the reviews for this particular one, and Sasuke had no idea when was the last time the linens were washed, he simply knew they didn't smell of the softener, and they didn't smell like dry cleaning, they smelled like  _nothing_ , and it was terrifying. Especially since there was an ash tray in the room.

This was never a good sign.

“We can watch something,” Naruto suggested.

“This won't help you fall asleep,” Sasuke disagreed.

“I'm cold,” the man grunted. “And tired. And unhappy.”

“Why are you unhappy?” Sasuke sighed.

“Because I'm cold and tired,” Naruto huffed in reply. “And maybe a little stressed too,” he admitted. Sasuke poked the other man's shoulder with his fingers, enjoying how they dipped in his hot, moist skin.

“You're sick,” he stated for the umpteenth time. “You should be resting.”

“Yeah but I don’t have time for this,” Naruto mumbled out.

“You have some time right now,” Sasuke pointed out. Somehow, Naruto was able to make even the most uncomfortable situations bearable. Sasuke had no idea whether it was some coping mechanism and playing everything off as far less serious than it actually was or perhaps Naruto truly wasn’t too impressed by everything that's happened to him, to them. Sasuke had no way of knowing. Nevertheless, the fact that Naruto was right now whining about such unimportant things was oddly comforting. “Sleep,” Sasuke whispered.

“Look, I wish you were a wizard and that your voice commands worked but I'm not really feeling any more sleepy than I did a minute ago,” Naruto grumbled.

“I thought they did,” Sasuke murmured. “You said something about not being allowed to cum earlier,” he said.

“You think I'll be more sleepy if you make me horny?” the blonde mumbled out.

“You're weird,” Sasuke sighed. “Seriously weird.”

“I'm  _interesting_ ,” Naruto corrected him. Sasuke shook his head, trying to ignore how loudly the pillow rustled, and offered the other man a faint smile. The blonde returned it. “I'm glad Karin called my mom,” he confessed. Sasuke gave him a questioning look. “I'm glad she made me take this job,” Naruto explained.

“Me too,” Sasuke replied. The blonde deadpanned at him.

“Sasuke, I  _can_  say this because I would’ve probably ended up with this mess anyways. You on the other hand,” he clicked his tongue, “you'd  _not_ ,” he concluded.

“I am fully aware of this,” Sasuke informed the other man in a hushed voice. “So better make it worth it.”

“Oh wow,” Naruto blurted out. “Now this is just stressful,” he complained. “Like, you do know that you could pressure me into pretty much anything, just because I'm feeling guilty?”

“Really?” Sasuke questioned. “Then stop doing things that put you at risk,” he sighed.

“I'd say yes  _but_ they profit you, so it kind of balances itself out,” Naruto whispered in reply. “Don't worry, though, everything will be—”

“Do you want me to remind you how many times you've said everything was going to be fine, and then it wasn’t?” Sasuke whispered. The blonde shook his head. “Thought so,” Sasuke huffed, carefully lying on his back. He wanted to rub his face but he also didn't want to touch it with his hands after the said hands already touched everything in the room. “I hate this room,” Sasuke grunted. “It feels  _dirty_.”

“It looks clean though,” Naruto pointed out. “It's not exactly nice but it'll do. Try to not think about it.”

“I'd much rather think about the room than everything else,” Sasuke muttered. Naruto made a noise as if he was a cat, and someone stepped on his tail.

“I'm a pretty good distraction,” the man offered, rolling on his stomach, and partially raising his upper body on his elbows. Sasuke let out a heavy breath. To be completely honest, he was afraid to touch Naruto again. The last time was pretty much a disaster, and there was also  _Sasori_ , and Sasuke had no idea whether the blonde even wanted to be touched.

The possibility wasn't exactly bothering Sasuke, he was however bothered by the fact that he didn't know what to do. Naruto's been acting as if pretty much everything was fine but then, every once in a while, he’d fall apart. These were short, intense outbursts, and Sasuke didn't feel as if he's played any part in making Naruto feel  _better_ , it seemed as if the blonde was simply naturally calming down after some time passed. It meant that the issue hasn't been really solved. It was only dormant.

“Naruto,” Sasuke whispered. He had no idea why he felt the need to catch Naruto's attention by calling his name, Sasuke was quite certain that he had the blonde's undivided attention. “…how do you feel?”

“Told ya, cold and tired,” the man replied, looking away. Sasuke swallowed a sigh, and scuttled closer, just a bit, just to test the waters and see if Naruto wasn’t going to move  _away_. He didn't. He even rolled on his back, and he rolled  _towards_ Sasuke. It was a pretty good sign. The blonde raised his hands above his face, fiddling with his fingers as if they were  _the_ most interesting thing he's ever seen. Sasuke had to admit that Naruto did have nice hands.

“What about Sasori—”

“Sasuke,” Naruto interrupted him, “that thing Tsunade wants to discuss with me in private,” he started, sounding uncannily calm, “I  _know_ what it is,” he confessed with a sigh, “I simply don’twant to talk about it, so I'm playing dumb.”

“I… see,” Sasuke mumbled out. “She wanted to give you some papers tomorrow,” he reminded the blonde. “I can go get them for you,” he offered.

“Like, I know that at one point I probably  _will_  want to do something about it,” Naruto continued, ignoring Sasuke's offer. “But I seriously don’t feel like doing it  _now_.”

“I,” Sasuke started and paused. He cleared his throat, and started again. “I don’t feel like I can say that I understand but I,” he paused again, at a complete loss for words, “it’s your choice,” he blurted out, “so you don't have to explain yourself to me,” he said, “but we can talk, whenever you want,” he assured the other man, forcing himself to look Naruto in the eyes even though Naruto wasn't looking  _him_ in the eyes. “Meaning that—”

“Wow, you suck at talking,” Naruto interrupted him with a short laugh. The laugh didn't sound careless and happy, but it was also far less tense than Sasuke would've expected.

“It's your decision and I'm here for you,” Sasuke grunted, raising his hands in apologetic gesture.

“I'm going to avoid being alone with Tsunade,” Naruto informed him. “So yes, I do want you to go to her tomorrow.”

“No problem,” Sasuke replied, perhaps even somewhat  _glad_ that there was something he had to do, and that he wasn't just going to be pointlessly shadowing Naruto.

“And I don’t want to think about it,” Naruto continued. “I just want to get over this, and I… I guess it means no blowjobs, no topping, and no talking about it for you,” he whispered, sounding apologetic, as if he had any reason to be apologetic. “It's not like definite or anything, it's just for  _now_ , and I swear that—”

“I really don’t mind it,” Sasuke assured the man. “I'm not even in position to say that I don’t mind—”

“Stop it,” Naruto blurted out. “Seriously, just stop it,” he pleaded. “I just want everything to be as  _normal_ , as it can only be,” he confessed. “And under these circumstances it's rather difficult. Almost impossible even,” he sighed. “So please, let's just pretend that everything is fine.”

“…for fifteen minutes,” Sasuke whispered.

“Pfft, no, much longer than this,” Naruto laughed in reply, scuttling close to Sasuke.

“You might end up in jail,” Sasuke said. “It's not worth it.”

“You've heard Tsunade, I won’t end up in jail,” Naruto protested. “I'll just be sued for a bunch of stuff. And if I make it into press, most people will probably correctly guess that I  _am_ guilty as charged,” he snorted. “But I won't go to jail,” he repeated. Sasuke breathed out through his mouth, letting his fingers brush against Naruto's soft, hot and disgustingly moist skin. He flinched when he felt a hand fluttering near his hip. He remained still to let Naruto know that he  _could_  touch him. After a few dragged out seconds shy fingers pushed underneath Sasuke's shirt. “But if I did end up in jail,” Naruto murmured, “will you be coming for marital visits?” he chuckled. Sasuke shook his head. “Mean,” the blonde complained in a husky voice. “Although I suppose that if you were to associate yourself with a criminal, we'd be back to square one when it comes to the stock price,” he sighed.

“You should flee the country,” Sasuke replied. Naruto frowned, looking rather disappointed with him. The blonde’s fingers stopped moving altogether, and he moved away. “I mean it,” Sasuke insisted.

“What about you?”

“I'll find some other way to fix this mess,” Sasuke answered. The frown on Naruto’s face deepened. “I don’t want you to be hurt just because—”

“It's worth it,” the blonde interrupted him. “Sasuke, you've hired me to make your life easier, and I've managed to completely fuck it up—”

“I've also  _fired_ you,” Sasuke hissed.

“Yeah but I still owe you,” Naruto dismissed him.

“If the fact that I used to hire you plays  _any_ role in why you're actively trying to mess up your own life right now,  _don't_ do it,” Sasuke barked.

“You can't really stop me, Sasuke,” the man sighed after a longer while of uncomfortable silence. “So I  _am_ going to do it anyways. For whatever reasons I see fit,” he breathed out.

“I'm starting to understand the logic behind that creep's actions,” Sasuke growled.

“…are you for real?” Naruto snapped.

“You don't even  _try_ to hide that you don’t care about my opinion—“

“And  _why_ should I care about your opinion?!” Naruto yelled at him. “Seriously, what makes you  _so_ important that—”

“I'm done with you,” Sasuke informed the blonde in a flat voice.

“ _Of-fucking-course_ ,” Naruto blurted out. “You don't get to order me around, so you decide to just fucking  _leave_ —”

“It's not like you care,” Sasuke replied, getting up from the bed. He felt  _dirty_. And disgusting. “Like you've said, I'm nobody important, so it doesn’t matter,” he grunted, collecting his things.

“Stop being such a goddamn drama queen,” Naruto scowled. “Calm down,” he demanded, throwing the cover down on the floor and getting up from the bed. He wasn't looking too well. “I'm serious, stop it,” the man muttered, glaring at Sasuke as he disappeared into the bathroom to change clothes. “Sasuke,” Naruto whined. His voice sounded as if it was coming from straight behind the bathroom doors. “Talk to me,” the man pleaded.

“What for?” Sasuke huffed, throwing the doors open. He leveled Naruto with his eyes when the man staggered away, rubbing his forearm. Sasuke turned towards the doors leading out of the room. He took one step forward, and froze, unable to move. Despite how awful this room was, it was also  _safe_.

And now he was going to leave the safety and… do what? Go where?

“Sasuke, let's talk everything through,” Naruto quietly suggested. Sasuke knew he would've been long gone if he wasn't a pathetic fuck. He took one more step forward, and moved his hand towards the knob. “Sasuke,  _please_ —”

“There’s no point in talking with you,” Sasuke scoffed at the other man.

“I swear there  _is_ ,” Naruto blurted out.

 Sasuke ignored him, trying to will himself to move despite the paralyzing fear but it was for naught. He was somewhat grateful that Naruto was trying to make him  _stay,_ and not  _go_  because Sasuke knew he wouldn’t have been able to leave like a normal person anyways. And it was already humiliating and embarrassing, and Sasuke didn't need anymore reasons why—

“I'm in love with you,” Naruto confessed out of the blue. Sasuke turned his face towards the other man. “And I don’t…  _like_  it, okay?” the blonde mumbled out. “It makes me feel vulnerable, and feeling vulnerable is kind of the last thing I need,” he continued, unfazed by the fact that Sasuke wasn’t replying. “Like, you know, Sasuke, I literally have these visions of us frolicking together in the sun, and don't worry, I'm  _well_  aware that it's not gonna happen but I don’t really control it, and, you know, I do realize that while you probably like me, the feeling is rather unrequited, and it perhaps puts me on edge,” the man blabbered. “So it's easier to pretend that I'm doing things because I fucked up and I owe you, and yeah, I obviously  _do_ , and I'm kind of hoping I'll convince myself that this is the only reason, but then you're acting like you maybe care, and it just makes everything  _so_  much worse,” he spat out in one breath. “And I  _know_ that you're still here not because of something I've said but because you  _can't_ leave, and it's just seriously fucked up, I mean, I'm actually  _grateful_ that you have this agoraphobia or however you want to call it, and—”

“I'm sorry,” Sasuke interrupted the word vomit. Naruto looked away, obviously hurt but trying to keep up the façade. “I shouldn't have said that thing about the creep,” he apologized.

“I kind of knew you didn't mean it,” Naruto sighed. “Let me just pack my things, and  _I_ will go,” he added.

“You're  _sick_ ,” Sasuke protested. “ _Stay_.”

“Will  _you_ stay too?” the blonde asked, obediently sitting on the bed. He pulled his legs towards his chest, and rested his chin on his knees, his arms wrapped around calves. He looked younger like this. There was a thin film of sweat on his skin, his eyes had pinkish whites, and were oddly  _matte_. Even though they were  _teary_. It wasn’t making any sense. Sasuke heavily sat next to the man, wrapping one arm around him, and pressing his own face into Naruto's back.

“I'm a wreck,” Sasuke whispered.

“You'll get better,” Naruto assured him.

“I don’t like the idea of you taking risks for me,” Sasuke continued.

“It's hardly a risk,” the blonde replied in a hushed voice. “It's a  _calculated_  risk. And I'm the only one, who can pull it off,” he stated.

“And in the meantime I'm to remain idle and watch you risk everything—”

“Sasuke,” Naruto sighed. “I know I was laughing at this whole trophy husband business  _but_  the truth is that I seriously wouldn't mind being one,” he blurted out. “So after all of this mess is dealt with, I can just  _not_ look for any job while I'm with you, so until your fragile male ego is satisfied—”

“Idiot,” Sasuke grunted.

“I'm pretty certain that watching things from the sidelines actually bothers you more than what I'm going to do because you  _know_ it's a calculated risk,” Naruto snorted.

“Doofus,” Sasuke sighed.

“Insults are supposed to get stronger, not weaker,” Naruto commented, sounding content.

“If I wasn’t fucked up, I would’ve been long gone,” Sasuke murmured into the other man's back.

“Yeah, I know,” the blonde replied. “And I'm not exactly in a chasing condition,” he added. “But you stayed. I hope it's not because you're bracing yourself for leaving—”

“I  _am_  staying,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“I'm not going to ask  _why_ ,” Naruto sighed.

“Don't,” Sasuke agreed. He himself wasn't certain  _why_. “I'm still pissed off,” he informed the blonde. “Because you refuse to talk to me,” he explained. “And because you apparently think that I don’t deserve to take a shot at changing your mind,” he complained.

“Sorry,” the man whispered. “The last time I was in an actual relationship was still in high school,” he mumbled out. “So I'm not used to discussing my moves with anyone.”

“This is a weak excuse,” Sasuke pointed out.

“It's true, though,” the blonde insisted. “You're more used to it than I am. I mean, you have a  _boss_ , and then there's the board of directors or whatever, and you have an assistant, and I don’t really have anyone like that. I'm a  _lone_   _wolf_ —”

“A lone wolf,” Sasuke repeated, rolling his eyes. “Naruto, I'm tired of people doing things for me.”

“I'm not doing them because I think you're, I don't know, too weak to do them yourself,” the blonde sighed in reply. “I'm doing them because it involves me asking other people for a favor, and if you were to contact them, they'd be all like  _Sasuke_   _who?_ ”

“I don’t like the idea of asking these people for help too,” Sasuke grumbled.

“Well you can't do everything on your own,” Naruto blurted out. “And don't worry, there's still plenty of mess to clean up,” he pointed out in a tired voice. “If I succeed, you'll probably have to talk to Sakura, and then there's your family, and blah, blah, blah, I'm  _exhausted_ , Sasuke,” the blonde whined.

“You weren't sleeping anyways,” Sasuke hissed back.

“Good point,” Naruto admitted, his hand wrapping around Sasuke's wrist. “I still can't get over how warm you feel,” he murmured in a rather obvious ploy to change the subject. “You're producing way more heat than you need,” he added in an appreciative tone.

“I'm willing to share,” Sasuke offered. The blonde lied on his side, pulling Sasuke with him. “I need to change clothes,” Sasuke reminded him.

“Go ahead, I won’t stare,” Naruto replied in a soft whisper, closing his eyes. Sasuke breathed out through his nose, his breath ruffling the hair on the back of the blonde's head. “ _Or_ I can just wait for you while you change in the bathroom,” Naruto yawned. “Whichever you prefer.”

“Isn't this weird?” Sasuke murmured back.

“What is?”

“Us,” Sasuke answered. The blonde shrugged his shoulders, nudging Sasuke's chin while doing so.

“Probably,” he replied. “We've met three weeks ago, and I feel like I know almost everything there is to know about you. I've met your family, introduced you to mine, and managed to completely ruin you. And yet you're here, not trying to ruin me. It  _is_ weird,” he said, his voice lazy, and words relaxed, as if he was telling a bedtime story.

“You know it's not what I meant,” Sasuke huffed into the blond strands.

“There's  _plenty_  of weird things about us, be more specific,” Naruto yawned again. This time Sasuke yawned too. He was  _relaxing_. And he had no reason to. He unwrapped his arms from around the blonde, sat up, and unbuttoned his shirt. “I know I was complaining about you not wearing t-shirts but button-ups are actually kind of hot,” Naruto whispered, his eyes still closed.

“I hated your orange sweater, and I'm glad your mom ruined it,” Sasuke replied. Naruto snorted.

“I have  _no_ idea how you managed to make Sakura think that you're a romantic,” he laughed. “I was trying to  _flirt_ , and you—”

“I've told you that you suck at flirting,” Sasuke reminded the other man, getting up from the bed, and putting his folded shirt on his closed suitcase because it seemed to be the cleanest surface in the room. Then he took out a thin sleeping t-shirt and pajama pants.

 “So humor me and seduce me,” Naruto mumbled into the pillow.

“Less than ten minutes ago you’ve said that you've fallen for me,” Sasuke pointed out, standing up and circling the bed. “I'd say I've already succeeded,” he concluded as he entered the bathroom and closed the doors. A few seconds later he heard something soft hitting against the said doors. When he returned to the room, already dressed for sleeping, he found a pillow lying on the floor.  _His_  pillow. Sasuke glared at Naruto, who already bundled himself up in the comforter, and threw the pillow back at him. “You've drooled all over your pillow, and this one was on the  _floor_ ,” Sasuke complained, sitting on his side of the bed. He pulled some of the comforter from under Naruto, and lied behind the other man, spooning him, and using his back as a pillow.

“Clean freak,” Naruto grumbled. Sasuke could hear a faint whistling noise whenever the man was breathing out.

“I'm dealing with my issues far better than you are with yours,” Sasuke argued, making sure that Naruto was fully covered.

“Not really,” the blonde disagreed, making himself more comfortable. Sasuke grunted when he felt a shoulder blade biting into his cheek, and moved his head closer to Naruto's neck. “Are you going to bite me again?”

“I don’t think I'll ever bite you again,” Sasuke hissed in reply.

“I won't tell mom,” Naruto snickered.

“Because there won't be anything to tell,” Sasuke insisted.

“ _Oh_ ,” the blonde grumbled, sounding deeply disappointed. “Is this your way of saying you'd prefer a more platonic—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke sighed. “It's my way of saying that I won't  _bite_  you,” he barked.

“I actually liked it,” the man confessed out of the blue.

“I'll take it into account,” Sasuke grunted.

“So what do you like in sex?” Naruto asked in a soft whisper, sounding as excited as one would expect people to be about parsnip. Sasuke wasn't able to decide whether he appreciated it or not. “I mean, when you are—or were—imagining having sex… how did you picture it?”

“…go to sleep,” Sasuke breathed out.

“But I want to know,” the blonde whined, drawling out the o way beyond any socially acceptable limits. “I assume that it's guys only, so, like, I don’t know, when it comes to basics, do you see yourself more as a top or a bottom—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke answered. And it didn't matter, not really. As long, as it was Naruto. “And it's literally the last thing I'm worrying about right now,” he added with a yawn.

“I thought you wanted some distraction,” the blonde blurted out. “Well, to be honest, if you asked me what  _I_ am into—”

“I didn't,” Sasuke sighed.

“Yeah, but if you  _did_ , I'd have no idea what to say,” Naruto continued, ignoring Sasuke’s silent plea to just stop talking and go to sleep. “I kind of dig your disinterested attitude, if it makes any sense—”

“It doesn't,” Sasuke replied.

“Like, I feel that I need to impress you, so—”

“You  _don’t_ ,” Sasuke muttered into Naruto's back. “We're past that bullshit now,” he complained.

“Not really,” the blonde disagreed. “There's still hundreds of lines for me to cross, and right now I'm at the very—”

“What do you want from me?” Sasuke scowled. He was pleasantly surprised when he realized that Naruto didn’t start to talk immediately after being asked the question, oh no, Naruto needed a full minute to reply, and so it's been a whole minute of blissful silence.

“…after we're done with this bullshit, I want you to take a few days off, so you can finally rest,” the man whispered. “Like, not even with me if you don't want to, I mean, I  _did_  hear you loud and clear when you said you wouldn’t waste your vacation days on me, and it's not really necessary, so I just want you to relax and rest, I don’t know, just do something you like—”

“Why?” Sasuke interrupted him.

“Because you  _do_  need a rest,” Naruto murmured. “Not the kind of rest your parents want for you but, nevertheless, you could use a day in spa or whatever else.”

“I don’t do  _spa_ ,” Sasuke sighed. “Sleep,” he pleaded.

“I kind of confessed to you, and you didn't reply,” Naruto mumbled out mere twenty seconds later. As if he'd been considering going to sleep, and then decided against it. It was somehow more annoying than if he hasn't taken it into consideration at all. “Don't I deserve some kind of reply?”

“…what do you want to hear?” Sasuke breathed out.

“The truth,” the blonde answered, sounding as if it was so obvious that there couldn't be any other way to reply.

“You di deserve a reply,” Sasuke admitted with a heavy sigh. Naruto made an excited noise. “But I have no idea. Right now I'm focused on other things,” he explained.

“So you'd rather be left alone than—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke muttered. Naruto's presence was most definitely welcome, even if sometimes annoying. The man had a calming effect on Sasuke, and he had no idea whether it was because Naruto was so unbothered about everything, or because he was still capable of making bad jokes, or maybe because he kept promising he was going to take care of everything, and while Sasuke knew Naruto couldn't possibly take care of everything, and Sasuke didn't even want him to, both because of his  _fragile male ego_  and Naruto's inability to not eventually screw up, the thought itself was… nice. And comforting. Precisely because Naruto wasn't perfect like Itachi had been. If Itachi said he was going to take care of everything, Sasuke would've known it was going to happen, he'd accept it as a fact of life. With Naruto it was… not exactly  _empty words_  but Sasuke knew the blonde couldn't possibly take care of everything. Because he was as much of a screw up, as Sasuke was.

And it was alright.

Because Sasuke was fine with Naruto fucking up. And Naruto cared despite knowing that Sasuke wasn't perfect. He wasn't really deserving of all that care, and yet to Naruto it didn't matter.

And Naruto didn't want anything from him. Not really.

Sasuke flinched when the blonde shifted in his arms, rolling on his other side, and facing Sasuke. He was handsome, Sasuke decided. Despite the stuffed nose, fever and tiredness.

“I'm annoying you, aren't I?” the man whispered. Sasuke shook his head.

“No but sometimes you tend to be clingy,” he murmured. He could feel Naruto's breath on his face. “And, like I've said earlier, you're way more insecure than I am.”

“Because you don't have any reasons to feel insecure,” the blonde huffed and rolled his eyes as hard, as Karin did whenever she thought Sasuke wasn't looking.

“Neither do you,” Sasuke pointed out.

“Your parents don't like me,” Naruto blurted out.

“Your mom doesn't like me either,” Sasuke reminded the blonde and shrugged his shoulders.

“It's not the same, your parents have more viable reasons,” Naruto complained.

“They make me feel…  _insecure_  too,” Sasuke admitted. “And you don't need to appease them,” he added, brushing his fingers against Naruto's moist neck and jawline. “You're the only thing keeping be grounded in this moment,” he confessed. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to focus at all.”

“Now I know that when I want to tell you that you're freaking out, I can just say  _Sasuke, it seems you can't focus_ ,” Naruto snickered, utterly destroying the moment. And it wasn't much of a moment but it was still mildly disappointing, so Sasuke frowned at the dumbass.

“No wonder my parents don't like you,” he sighed.

“Yeah, I kind of doubt it's because I'm teasing you,” Naruto replied, looking Sasuke straight in the eyes. “Promise to not laugh,” the blonde suddenly demanded.

“I can't remember when was the last time you've said anything even  _remotely_  funny,” Sasuke murmured in reply. Naruto gave him a  _stern_  look. It didn't really suit him. Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I won't laugh,” he promised.

“I'm kind of freaking out that after this mess is over, the dust settles, yadda-yadda, you'll come to your senses, and bid me goodbye,” Naruto confessed. “So a small part of me is kind of happy that this mess will take so long to fix.”

“It's not very funny,” Sasuke commented. “Usually people ask others to not laugh when they’re about to say something embarrassing and therefore  _funny_ —”

“Like  _you_  would know what people do,” Naruto snapped at him. “Can I ask for a reaction to what I've actually said or are you going to dodge it completely?” he whined.

“I can give you a reaction if you promise to stop talking and go to sleep,” Sasuke offered.

“But it won't be one of those  _mildly surprised gasps_ , right?”

“I thought you liked to gamble,” Sasuke yawned.

“Yeah, but if silence is gold, I'm betting  _gold_ , and so, if you give me a  _gasp_ , I swear I'll—”

“It'll be better than a gasp,” Sasuke muttered. “So? Will these be your last words tonight or not?”

Naruto gave him a pointed look. And then he nodded. Sasuke took in a relieved breath, and relaxed, making himself more comfortable. He could  _feel_ Naruto’s impatience, seeping through his pores. Sasuke relished in the moment, taking his sweet time. Then he frowned because Naruto kicked his shin. It wasn't technically breaking their deal, though.

“I'm not saying that everything between us would've happened exactly like it did if it wasn’t for the mess  _but_  I've been just as interested in it when there still was no mess,” Sasuke whispered, slowly closing his eyes. “And so, since the mess doesn't play any role in how I feel about you, I doubt that  _this_ is just a moment of insanity. Especially since I  _have_  been worse, and back then I haven't thrown myself at anyone,” he continued. He opened his mouth to say  _good night_  but he was stopped with Naruto's lips pressed against his, moving awkwardly. Sasuke made an appreciative noise, and returned the kiss. “No talking,” he breathed into the other man's mouth, tasting him on his tongue. It was curiously arousing to have Naruto giving in so much.

And the thought that it was arousing was… creepy. At best. Sasuke moved his hand towards Naruto's side, uncertain where he was going with it. And whether he wanted to go anywhere with it.

Alright.

He did.

He did want to take it further but it was wrong. So, so,  _so_ , very wrong. Especially after today, and in here, and Naruto definitely wouldn't appreciate it, and now Sasuke forbid him to even  _talk_ , and it was a horrible, horrible idea.

“We need to stop,” Sasuke whispered, finally looking at the other man. Naruto gave him a disappointed look but did move away, his breathing significantly heavier than just a minute ago. Sasuke closed his eyes again, trying to calm his racing heart. He was actually hard and there was nothing he wanted more than to shove his cock into any orifice in Naruto’s body but Naruto's made it perfectly clear that it wasn’t going to happen. And this was understandable. Wanting to fuck Naruto senseless was not. So he needed to calm down. He shifted to roll on his back but then he felt the head of Naruto’s cock brushing against his hip, and he could swear he's heard Naruto stifle a moan. “Do you want to stop?” Sasuke asked in a feverish whisper, expecting an actual answer, a verbal answer, a yes or no. Instead, Naruto got closer to him. So now Sasuke felt just how hard the other man was. And it was pretty much a torture. “Aren't you going to say anything?” Sasuke asked. Naruto smiled at him and shrugged his shoulders as if he himself didn't know. “Say something,” Sasuke demanded.

“You've told me to shut up,” the blonde whispered, sounding annoyingly amused.

“And now I want you to talk,” Sasuke barked.

“I want to continue,” Naruto stated. “Any wishes?”

Sasuke swallowed excessive saliva. He did have wishes but they were incompatible with Naruto’s. And so there was no point in saying them aloud. Especially after the last fiasco. “Fuck me,” Sasuke rasped. Naruto raised an eyebrow at him.

“Are you certain that you want to—”

“Yes,” Sasuke interrupted the man, who still didn't look too convinced. Nevertheless, Naruto did move, getting on his knees and placing himself between Sasuke's thighs. But this was apparently as far, as Naruto was willing to go. “Go on,” Sasuke hurried him.

“Have you ever—”

“Go on,” Sasuke interrupted the other man. He was feeling mostly nervous. He bit on his bottom lip when he felt Naruto sliding the pajama pants off him. “I thought you were supposed to take tops off first,” Sasuke blurted out, painfully aware of the fact that his cock was going limp. It only added to his nervousness. He was a complete failure. All he had to do was  _lying_  and yet he managed to fuck this up. “What are you waiting for?” Sasuke huffed, hoping that his voice sounded more confident than he felt.

“Sorry, I'm not in the mood after all,” Naruto replied, leaning forward, and giving Sasuke's cheek a quick peck. Sasuke glued his eyes to a wall that's probably never been washed, refusing to look the blonde in the eyes. Naruto was taking pity on him, and he couldn't have made it any more obvious. He wasn't even waiting for any answer, he simply pulled Sasuke's pajama pants back on his ass, and lied next to him, wrapping his arm around Sasuke's waist.

“You’re lying,” Sasuke mumbled out in a shaky voice. “If it wasn’t for me, you would’ve—”

“ _But_  I'm here with you,” Naruto interrupted him. “And seeing you like this doesn't put me in the mood.”

“Sorry,” Sasuke sighed, rubbing his face with his hands, wishing he could disappear forever. He flinched when he felt a light kiss on his forehead.

“Don't be,” Naruto whispered. “I seriously don't want you to force yourself. There’s plenty of time, and I'm really not so bad,” he murmured. “You'll come around,” he concluded.

“I wish I had your confidence,” Sasuke gritted through his teeth.

“Years of practice,” the blonde replied with a short laugh. “Besides, I don’t even have any lube, so,” he paused and cleared his throat, “nothing would've happened anyways.”

“…then what was the point of all these questions?” Sasuke hissed.

 “Curiosity,” Naruto answered. “I've never supposed I'd hear you say—”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Sasuke muttered.

“You might eventually forget all about me but I'll always remember you telling me to—”

“ _Shut up_ ,” Sasuke growled. He wished he could just bury his face in a pillow but pillows were disgusting, and so it was not an option.

“I would've kept quiet if you didn't say you wanted me to say something,” Naruto murmured. “Shame, it would've been kinkier if you just ordered me to—"

“ _Shut up_ ,” Sasuke repeated. He awaited another spurt of nonsense but there was nothing. He exhaled, feeling himself calm down and relax in the idiot’s embrace.

“You're kind of cute,” Naruto blurted out, sounding terrified.

“Oh for fuck's sake,” Sasuke scowled, untangling himself from the blonde's arm, and moving  _away_  from him. Away was closer to the edge of the mattress, and still pretty fucking close to Naruto. Away sucked and wasn't really away.

“I'm—”

“ _Going to sleep_ ,” Sasuke finished the man's sentence. “That was the deal, remember?”

“Didn’t you kind of override it when you've told me to—”

“Shut up,” Sasuke snapped. “Do whatever you want but I am going to sleep. No more talking,” he hissed.

“Good night,” Naruto replied, scuttmling closer to Sasuke. “You were supposed to share some of your warmth—”

 _“Do whatever you want_ ,” Sasuke repeated. “ _No more talking_ ,” he added, all tense because he was quite certain that Naruto wasn’t done with bothering him. He heard and felt the blonde move closer to him. Then there was some rustling, and Naruto pulled him into a tight embrace. He was slightly trembling, and Sasuke was even considering asking Naruto if there wasn’t anything he could do to make him feel better but eventually decided against it because it would've been encouraging Naruto to talk, and Sasuke spent almost two hours trying to shut him up. So it would've been counterproductive. Especially since Naruto was going to say something anyways.

Eventually.

Sasuke was tensing up and frowning every time he felt the blonde move or let out an uneven breath but no, there was nothing. Sasuke sucked in a deep breath, bracing himself for when Naruto was going to—

Naruto's breathing pattern changed to a more even one. His body relaxed.

He was sleeping.

“…fuck,” Sasuke muttered, realizing he's wasted a perfectly good opportunity to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i used to be able to write ff that were 50k words long and had a plot that made sense
> 
> also, because this ff has way more comments than it deserves, you can find me on tumblr and talk to me there. i don't post anything. my nickname there is vigilant-shrimp. 
> 
> because someone actually took shrimpette and i still have no idea why it's my nickname here
> 
> like
> 
> i don't even like shrimps
> 
> i still appreciate comments tho


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Naruto woke up, feeling as if he was about to freeze. His only source of heat was Sasuke, who was still asleep, lying on his stomach, with his head resting on his hands. But Sasuke wasn't enough. Naruto was quite certain he'd start to feel warm only after being thrown into an active volcano. He pulled Sasuke into an even tighter embrace, and threw the comforter over their heads, for a short while reveling in how his breath was warming his hands but soon the perspiration made everything much less pleasant, there was no more air under the cover, and Sasuke suddenly tensed as if someone was about to hit him, and then he woke up with a loud gasp, thrashing his arm, almost smacking Naruto's face in the process, and throwing the comforter down on the floor.

“What the fuck?” Sasuke complained, heavily falling on the mattress.

“I'm cold,” Naruto whined, scuttling closer even though he knew he was going to be cold anyways. Sasuke let out a heavy sigh, clearly already done with Naruto even though the day hasn't even started yet, and turned on his other side. The blonde shrugged when he felt Sasuke's hand landing on his forehead. “Surprise,” Naruto grunted when he saw Sasuke frown.

“That's still not a good reason to make me die of asphyxiation,” the man muttered.

“I've never been sick for so long,” the blonde grumbled. “Usually I just had to spend one day in bed, and then I was  _fine_ —”

“So  _maybe_ ,” Sasuke barked at him, still obviously pissed off about being woken up, “you should just actually  _spend_  one day in bed,” he hissed.

“Well it wasn’t exactly  _my_ choice—”

“You're not going anywhere today,” Sasuke muttered.

“I was kind of thinking about renting something nicer than this room first,” Naruto mumbled out. Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him, and he clearly didn't know when to stop because his eyes already looked like two tiny slits, and Naruto doubted that Sasuke was still able to see him but he decided against saying anything about it.

“…fine,” the man huffed. “But then you're going to simply  _stay in bed,_ ” he decided.

“I still have to make some phone calls,” Naruto pointed out. “And I need to buy something for Shino to upload the recording with—”

“ _Shino_?” Sasuke breathed out. “Is  _this_  the best you can do? He doesn’t inspire confidence.”

“He's the best  _anyone_ could do,” Naruto disagreed. “I’d trust him with my life, and I don’t really know him,” he snorted. Sasuke merely gave him a disappointed look. “Stop worrying, nobody will ever find out how you're connected to—”

“It’s not about me, I simply don’t want you to go to jail,” Sasuke interrupted him. Naruto’s throat tightened. He didn’t like hearing it. He didn't want to start believing something that could've been not true. He didn’t think that Sasuke was doing it on purpose but he was rather certain that the only reason Sasuke had any interest in him was strictly because of the mess and maybe also the fact that Sasuke too was lonely. So he was drawn to Naruto only because Naruto made himself available to him. And that was all, and getting attached to Sasuke— _more_ attached that he already was—would’ve been plain stupid.

“I won't,” Naruto grunted. “We've had this talk a few hours ago, so chill,” he scolded Sasuke, half-hoping that Sasuke was going to freak out because Naruto’s insinuated that he was freaking out. Because then Sasuke wouldn't have enough energy to express his  _worries_ , and Naruto didn't want to hear any of it. Seeing how Sasuke was already looking at the ceiling, and not Naruto, it worked.

“…whatever,” the man sighed, getting up from the bed. “I'll find us a new place, leave you there, buy that laptop or whatever, come back, and later go to your lawyer,” he stated. The blonde nodded, and Sasuke disappeared into the bathroom. He emerged about twenty minutes later, already showered and fresh, and he clearly hasn't brushed his hair yet because it looked as if a murder of anorexic crows decided to nest on his head. “Take a shower, and I'll find us somewhere  _nicer_ ,” Sasuke huffed, opening his laptop and still avoiding staring Naruto in the eyes. The blonde let out a soft sigh, fought off the urge to kiss Sasuke, and got up from the bed to trudge towards the bathroom.

He was somehow already mourning the loss of Sasuke, and right now it didn't seem as if Sasuke was even  _considering_  getting rid of Naruto, but it was bound to happen soon, and the blonde  _knew_  that he was stupidly tainting their final moments, and Sasuke deserved  _more_ , and yet Naruto couldn't help himself. He was half-aware of the fact that because of his dumb behavior Sasuke was going to abandon him even earlier but perhaps it was for the best.

He entered the shower, letting the probably boiling hot water run down his body. It felt nice, even breathing became less painful, and Naruto hoped that Sasuke wasn't going to get sick too but after all that time they spent together… Sasuke being sick was rather certain and unavoidable. On the other hand, Sasuke obviously needed him, and so  _maybe_ it was worth being sick for a few days.

“I've found us a place,” Sasuke informed him in a flat voice the second Naruto left the bathroom.

“Great,” the blonde blurted out. “Just give me a few minutes, and we can leave,” he added. Sasuke looked at him, nodded, and then turned his attention to something else. Naruto swallowed a sigh, and packed his bag. “What are you doing?” he asked after a few minutes. He was pretty much ready to leave, and Sasuke hasn't even moved, his hair still wet and unbrushed.

“The police is looking for me,” he informed Naruto, sounding completely disinterested. The blonde opened his mouth to ask his questions but Sasuke was faster. “My father sent me a text. It literally says  _the police is looking for you_. Nothing more,” he huffed.

“But he did warn you,” Naruto pointed out. “And don't worry about the police, you haven't done anything illegal.”

“But I'll be helping  _you_  do something illegal,” Sasuke muttered.

“… _sorry_ ,” Naruto mumbled out. “I didn't think this through, seriously, sorry, I'll just take care of everything,” he assured the other man. “So I guess it'll be for the best if we won't share a room anymore, I mean, the less things connecting you to me, the better, and I'm fine with this room, so I'll just stay here,” he blabbered. Sasuke still wasn't looking at him, his eyes glued to his laptop screen. After a short while the glow on Sasuke's face disappeared, so the screen must’ve went black. It didn't bother Sasuke in the slightest, he was still staring at the screen as if the lives of his entire family depended on it.

“…yesterday you've said,” Sasuke started and paused, his voice hoarse and unpleasant, “you've said you fell for me,” he whispered, partially covering his face with one hand.

“It doesn't matter,” Naruto replied. “I'll get over it before you know it, so just focus on yourself. Later today I'll report back to you.”

“So it too didn't mean anything,” Sasuke stated.

“It  _means_  you don’t have to worry because I'll manage on my own,” Naruto sighed.

“You don't  _need_  to manage on your own,” Sasuke replied, massaging his temples. “Why do you keep rejecting me?” he asked.

“I'm not,” the blonde protested.

“You  _are_ ,” the other man disagreed. “I  _can_  leave if you want. All you have to do is  _ask_ ,” he said in a level, almost dangerously low voice. Naruto stared at the man. He didn’t want Sasuke to leave. On the other hand, Sasuke probably  _should_ leave because this way he was safer. And Naruto wanted him to be safe. Nevertheless, he had no idea what to say. “Yesterday you wanted me to stay with you,” Sasuke whispered. “Why?”

“It was already late and you had no place—”

“Bye,” Sasuke interrupted him, closing the laptop and slowly getting up.

“Stop,” the blonde blurted out. “I just want you to be safe,” he confessed.

“And vice versa,” Sasuke barked.

“The difference is that you're  _not_ putting me in danger while it's possible that—”

“Yes, you're putting  _yourself_  in danger,” Sasuke growled. “On your own,” he added, sounding pissed off. “If I wasn't a part of the equation, you probably would've been long gone,” he muttered, his voice fading out. Naruto sent him a pained look. “I don’t need you to  _save me_ ,” Sasuke continued, still looking away.

“Sasuke, it's just that,” the blonde started and paused to clear his throat. “I've told you how I feel about you,” he said.

“And you've said you'll get over it  _before I know it_ ,” Sasuke pointed out, absolutely unimpressed and unfazed.

“But you didn’t really tell me anything,” Naruto softly complained. “You're just saying that I'm making you calmer than you think you'd be without me, and you've said I'm not a random hookup to you but that's kind of because my presence calms you down,” he blurted out in one breath. “Then there was that talk with Karin from yesterday when she's asked you about… well, mostly you and Sakura, but I was mentioned as well, and I have no idea why she did that—”

“Probably because she knows me better than you do,” Sasuke interrupted him, his voice raised, his eyes  _finally_ fixed on Naruto. Naruto was kind of missing the times when Sasuke was glaring at walls and ceilings. “So  _please_ , remind me what I've told Karin,” the man sighed.

“…that you're tired of waiting?” Naruto asked. Sasuke glanced at him, rather surprised, his eyebrow raised. Then he looked up, as if trying to recall the conversation. “You've also said you don't want to marry Sakura but I guess it's not as important now—”

“Are you  _certain_  that I haven't said anything more?” Sasuke asked. Naruto nodded in reply, and Sasuke cursed under his breath. “I'm interested in you. Romantically,” Sasuke sputtered, his cheeks becoming a curious shade of pink. Naruto blinked, replaying the words in his head over and over again. “And this is why I don’t want you to do everything on your own,” the man coughed, visibly embarrassed beyond words. “So whenever you do this whole  _I'll manage on my own_ , I hear mostly  _I can't count on you_ ,” he mumbled out.

“Sorry,” Naruto blurted out. Sasuke looked away, and then they drowned in an uncomfortable silence for at least three minutes because Naruto needed this much time to realize that it was possibly Sasuke's first time confessing for real, and a dead silence wasn’t an answer he'd wish to even his worst enemy, and Sasuke deserved some reply. “I’ll take this into account,” Naruto promised. “I mean, like, you know that I have feelings for you, right?” he blabbered. He heard Sasuke inhale, and wondered if Sasuke's been holding his breath all this time. “And I know I could count on you, I simply don’t want to put you at any risk—"

“The feeling is mutual,” Sasuke muttered.

“Okay,” Naruto replied, not certain about what exactly he's said okay to. “In this case we'll do it more as, err,  _partners_ , I suppose,” he suggested. Sasuke nodded, and Naruto nodded too, uncertain what else he could do. He kind of wanted to kiss Sasuke but they've never kissed like that, for no reason whatsoever, not on the lips at least, and he'd feel beyond awkward if Sasuke was to ask him what the hell he was doing. “I guess we’re not officially together but, uh,  _are_  we together?”

“I believe we are,” Sasuke replied, still not back to his smug self.

“…great,” Naruto mumbled out. He kneeled by Sasuke's bag, found a hairbrush, and approached the man to hand it to him. He gasped when Sasuke grabbed him by the front of his sweater, and pulled him so close that their noses were almost touching. The hairbrush dropped on the carpeted floor.

“May I?” Sasuke whispered his question. Naruto replied with a faint  _yes_  but it seemed kind of pointless because if Naruto  _didn’t_ want that kiss, he would've already felt uncomfortable with Sasuke suddenly getting so close to him, and soon it didn't matter because Sasuke’s lips pressed against his, and Naruto felt as if he was about to melt. He let out a weak whimper when Sasuke tried to pull away, and pushed his tongue into the other man's mouth, thoroughly enjoying the sensation. Sasuke's hands moved onto his shoulders and arms, and it took all of Naruto's willpower and resolve to not ask Sasuke to fuck him. Because he  _knew_  it could end badly, and that was one of the last things Sasuke needed right now.

And yet he couldn't stop himself from pushing Sasuke back on the chair and straddling him. He almost moaned when he realized that Sasuke was hard for him.

“Fuck, I want you,” Naruto laughed. Sasuke made an appreciative noise, and grabbed the blonde by his hips to pull him even closer, as if he thought that if they were to get close enough, they were going to fuck through osmosis. And Naruto kind of wished they could. Because it would've been way easier than trying to figure this mess out when the police was looking for Sasuke, and Naruto had to call almost everyone he knew. “But we don’t have time for this,” Naruto whispered into Sasuke's mouth, half-afraid that Sasuke wasn't going to hear him, and half-hoping for it.

“You're right,” Sasuke admitted, pulling away and frowning. Naruto grinded against his crotch just to let him know that it wasn’t like he didn't  _want_  it because of course he did want it. A lot. He wasn’t certain  _how_ he wanted it, and Sasuke, judging from the last night, also had no idea. Normally, Naruto wouldn't be bothered by it but this time it was Sasuke, and with Sasuke things were kind of more intense.

“Do you have any idea what you'll tell the police?” the blonde quietly asked because  _this_ was what they were supposed to care about right now.

“I'll answer their questions,” Sasuke replied. “If I will get arrested for whatever reason, bail me out, and I'll give you the money back later,” he stated, his hand moving from Naruto’s hip to his side, slowly, curiously exploring the blonde's body. “Unless they'll want some ridiculously large sum,” the man continued. “In this case just wait 24h, and they'll probably have to let me free,” he said. “In the worst case scenario I'll call some lawyer and make you into my assignee,”  he concluded.

“Better ask Karin,” Naruto advised him. “You might not want to get officially involved with me anymore than you absolutely need to. Especially since, you know, I might get arrested too,” he chuckled. “But yeah, I will bail you out if such need arises,” he promised.

“Very well,” Sasuke relented, his voice husky and warm. Naruto let out a soft sigh, and grabbed the discarded hairbrush to untangle the crow’s nest on Sasuke's head. “Be more careful,” the man hissed.

“I'm as gentle as I can,” the blonde insisted, unconsciously sticking out his tongue as he was fighting a particularly nasty knot in the black, already half-dry hair. “I guess this is a payback for yesterday,” Naruto whispered when he was finally done. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. “No, no,” the blonde protested. “Thank you for yesterday,” he murmured. “I was feeling like shit, and then I wasn't.”

“At your service,” Sasuke replied absentmindedly.

“It's not hot when  _you_  say it,” the blonde complained.

“But it's true,” the other man retorted. “Within reason, obviously,” he quickly added, as if afraid that Naruto wanted to explore the possibilities. Which he didn't. “I'll drive you to the new place, leave you there, buy some laptop with cash—”

“Just buy something cheap, it's going to get destroyed anyways,” Naruto advised him.

“And then I'll swing by the police station,” Sasuke stated. “Hopefully, they'll let me go in a few hours.”

“They have nothing on you, so they should,” Naruto agreed.

“I'll either come back to you or, if it'll be already late enough, I'll drive to Tsunade to get the documents,” Sasuke continued. “And  _then_  I’ll come back to you.”

“Alright,” the blonde mumbled out. “I’ll just… call some people,” he whispered. “I'll be using my other phone, so you can always call on my private,” he informed Sasuke. “I might not be able to pick up immediately, so if you need me to pick up immediately, just text  _urgent_ , and I'll drop everything and call you, alright?”

“Yes,” the man agreed. Naruto felt his lip corners curling upwards. Things perhaps weren't exactly  _looking up_  for them but it was slightly better than he expected. And maybe even a lot better. He still wasn't certain how much he's come to terms with himself being selfish because, honestly, not throwing Sasuke out  _was_  selfish. “You're getting heavy,” Sasuke complained, completely ruining the moment. Naruto rolled his eyes and got up, hugging himself, so he'd be warmer. Sasuke gave his shoulder a little squeeze as he got up to dry his hair. “Let's go,” the man eventually breathed out, putting on his shoes and a coat.

Naruto nodded, putting on his jacket but leaving it open. He grabbed his bag, and stood next to the other man, who looked at the doors as if they were bathed in flames and acid, and possibly made of explosives too. The blonde hooked his arm around Sasuke's, and slowly, gradually, step by step, he pulled the man out of that shitty hotel room. Naruto was hoping that Sasuke appreciated being forced to leave like that. Under normal circumstances, he would've asked but he was quite certain that Sasuke absolutely hated discussing his shortcomings, and  _this_ definitely was one. Not like Naruto minded it because really, he didn't mind it at all, working around it was quite simple, especially when it was just two of them because, for whatever reason, it seemed that Sasuke was a little bit more at peace with himself not being perfect when it was just Naruto and him. Naruto was guessing that it had something to do with the fact that Sasuke considered him a fuckup  _too_. And the blonde probably would've felt offended if it wasn’t for that  _too_ part or if it wasn’t  _Sasuke_. The blonde was confident that almost nobody could ever raise above the rank of a fuckup in Sasuke's eyes. Because he was looking with not really his but his father's eyes, and there was no pleasing him.

“It's cold,” Naruto commented, mostly to give Sasuke something to focus on, something else than how he was still panicking whenever he was outside or how much shit they were currently drowning in. He could often catch himself say things just so Sasuke could hear them.

“It's almost winter,” Sasuke murmured in reply, untangling his arm from Naruto's grip. The blonde refrained himself from pouting. He kind of had promised himself he'd never be in the closet, and yet there he was. In the closet. Because Sasuke was in the closet. Somehow, it was worth it. “I think I might be getting sick,” Sasuke muttered.

“Sorry,” Naruto replied. The other man faintly shook his head, as if he was already sporting a massive headache. “Are you certain you want to drive around like that?”

“I don’t  _want_  to,” Sasuke grumbled. “But I  _have_ to,” he concluded with a tired sigh, hiding over half of his face under a huge scarf.

“I won't tell my mom,” Naruto offered. He smiled when he heard Sasuke exhale through his nose because that was almost a  _laugh_. They finally reached the car. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

 

Naruto buried himself under every single comforter he was able to find. Sasuke's already left, looking even paler than usually, and Naruto's made some calls. Not everyone picked up but most did. And a vast majority of these  _most_  were glad that Naruto called them. Obviously, they all wanted to meet, and Naruto was pretty much forced to oblige. And so his calendar was slowly filling up, and Naruto hoped that all these meetings wouldn't stand in a way of something more important. He wished he could just throw a big party and meet everyone at once but bringing all of his clients together after he involved them in a stock market manipulation would've been plain stupid. He wanted to avoid putting them at risk, and was ready to take the fall for them if such need arose. He couldn't also just sacrifice a few weeks and do a freaking tournée because that would've been not only convenient but also too obvious.

Nevertheless, no matter how little he was thrilled by the prospect of meeting his former clients, he  _owed_ them. Almost each and every one of them promised to invest, and when Naruto checked the stock market, he saw that the price not only stopped dropping but also rose a little, and yes, it was still nothing compared to yesterday's losses but it was better than nothing.

He hoped the pattern was going to hold.

He took a deep breath and picked Shino's number. He trusted Shino. He wasn’t certain whether he  _liked_ Shino. The man was sometimes giving him the creeps, and Naruto wasn’t able to say  _why_.

“Naruto,” the man breathed out into the phone. No greeting, no anything. And yes, Gaara's done it just like this but Gaara kind of had the right to be surprised, and Shino wasn’t surprised or anything, he was simply being his odd self.

“Hey,” the blonde chirped. “I'll have a favor to ask of you,” he said.

“I figured. You call me only when you want something,” the man replied. Naruto frowned, frantically trying to recall at least  _one_  instance when he called Shino just to talk to him but there was nothing. He let out a short sigh and put a smile on his face, persuading himself that while yes, he's never called Shino just to talk, Shino would always benefit from it anyways, and that was fine too.

“I'll need you to upload a file,” Naruto blurted out.

“Why?” Shino asked. The blonde hummed, pondering over the answer.

“You're the only one I can count on with this,” he chose to say. “You're abroad right now, yes?”

“Yes, I'm working on my next collection,” Shino answered in a flat voice.

“I'll mail you a laptop and a pendrive, you'll drive by some McDonald's or something, upload it from there, destroy the laptop and throw it away,” Naruto instructed the man.

“I knew you'd mess up,” Shino said, not sounding even one bit disappointed or angry. “Shikamaru's  been right from the very beginning—”

“Yes, he was,” Naruto interrupted him. “I fucked up and I need you to help me out,” he blabbered. “Will you?”

“Have I ever said no?” Shino muttered in reply. Naruto made a happy noise. “Perhaps I should start to—”

“Please don't start today,” the blonde pleaded.

“This is the last time,” the man informed him.

“Yeah, I'm done with this business anyways,” Naruto sighed.

“You should've been more responsible,” Shino lectured him. “It's a miracle that the guy hasn't sued you yet. Unless he did, and now you're just trying to do some damage control—”

“He didn't,” Naruto interrupted the man. “But eventually he should because—”

“No,” Shino said in his monotone voice. He sounded kind of like a text-to-speech software. “You should've never agreed to work for him. This was way out of your league—”

“Yeah, I know he's out of my league,” the blonde whined.

“I've never said that,” Shino murmured. Naruto took a deep breath, feeling both embarrassed and annoyed. “What’s going on between you and him?” the man questioned.

“ _Nothing_ ,” Naruto insisted.

“You had a favor to ask of me, so don't lie,” Shino replied.

“…does it matter?” Naruto asked after a longer while of uncomfortable silence. He'd hoped Shino would just drop the subject or at least keep talking, so Naruto could pick holes in what he said but no, of course, Shino simply  _waited_.

“Yes,” he answered without missing a beat. “Who's going to benefit from me uploading the mystery file? You or he?”

“Both,” the blonde blurted out.

“Would you be doing this if it  _wouldn't_  benefit him?” Shino questioned.

“…no,” Naruto admitted.

“Don't do it. You'll come to regret it,” the man sighed. “For your own good I won’t—”

“You've already agreed,” the blonde interrupted him.

“I'm merely trying to be a good friend,” Shino said. “I won't help you hurt yourself just because you've asked me to do it,” he stated. Naruto gulped. He was partially panicked because he  _needed_  Shino to help him out, and there wasn’t really a better way to do it, and partially overwhelmed. Because he's never seen Shino this way, as a  _friend_. He wasn’t expecting it, and he clearly didn't deserve it.

“Shino, I just need you to—”

“You need me to act smarter than you,” Shino said. And he still didn't sound angry or upset, and not even condescending, no, it was the tone of voice others used to say it was cold when everybody could clearly feel that it was cold, and it's been cold for days, and the cold wasn’t even this bothersome anymore, it was just a fact of life, and the only reason why people even said it aloud anymore was because they were bored and simply wanted to say  _something_. And this was the exact tone of voice Shino used for everything. As if he wasn't even really  _talking_  with other people but rather informing them of his opinion.

“I need you to help me out,” Naruto blurted out. “I'm a big boy, and I know—”

“You do realize that I have access to the internet here, yes?” Shino asked.

“…well I guess you do but it'll be better if you use some public—”

“I meant it as in I am aware of the fact that you're in trouble,” the man interrupted him, calm as ever. “Or, rather, that your  _client_  is in trouble—”

“Sasuke's not my client anymore,” Naruto huffed.

“What?” Shino asked, and this time Naruto could  _swear_ he heard a hint of mild surprise in his voice. And he was willing to bet an equivalent of the price of a cheap sandwich on it.

“Sasuke's not my client anymore,” he repeated.

“Did he fire you?” Shino inquired.

“Yes,” Naruto answered.

“…so what are you still doing with him? I realize that you have a weakness for brooding jerks but this is going too far,” the man muttered.

“He's not a brooding jerk,” the blonde protested, glaring at his own hands when he realized he's made the quotation marks with his fingers. “And besides, I owe it to him because if it wasn’t for me, he wouldn't be in any trouble,” he explained. Shino wasn't answering for the longest time, and he wasn’t making any sound at all, no  _hmm,_  no humming, no clicking his tongue, no nothing, there was only dead silence.

“Fine,” Shino eventually replied. “I'm not saying I won't help you out anymore, but I'll be deeply disappointed with you if you continue to work as a best man for hire after all this mess.”

“Understood,” the blonde agreed. “Thank you. I'll ship the laptop to you tonight evening, you should have it at your place like two days from now, so—”

“Just upload the file into a cloud from that laptop, I'll buy one here, and upload it online for you,” Shino offered. “This way it'll be online tonight.”

“Great,” the blonde blurted out. “Thank you, seriously, I'm very thankful, I don't deserve—”

“If I thought you didn't deserve it, I wouldn't have agreed,” Shino informed him in his flat voice. “Send me the link,” he ordered. Naruto promised him that he would, and then he bid his goodbyes. The talk was kind of exhausting but there were still plenty of people he had to call. Naruto took a deep breath, plastered a smile on his face, and picked yet another guy’s number.

* * *

 

Sasuke entered a police station, feeling rather awkward. He's never been arrested for anything, and while he did appear in a court a few times, it's always been as a witness, and they were all civil cases. He approached the desk, and a man raised his eyes at him, looking mostly bored and tired.

“You're looking for me,” Sasuke blurted out, uncertain whether he should get ready for getting arrested or maybe he was going to be offered coffee, and he had no idea whether he wanted to accept that cup of coffee because there was a lipstick mark on the cop’s cup, and he wasn’t wearing any lipstick.

The cop gave him a scrutinizing look, and asked for his name, surname, his parents' names, his address. Sasuke patiently gave the man all the info he needed. He typed it into a computer, and then there was a short while of waiting, and Sasuke was painfully aware of the line of people standing behind him. He heard someone take a photo but the person was soon scolded by one of the officers. Nevertheless, it seemed like that was the end of it, so the person got to keep both their phone and the photo.

And then the cop called someone on the phone, muttered into the receiver  _I have your guy_ , Sasuke wished the ground opened up and swallowed him, and then a young woman approached him and asked him to follow her. She wasn't wearing the uniform, and Sasuke had no idea who she was because she didn't introduce herself. Or maybe she did but he didn't register it, too focused on not letting the people in the line see his face.

“Thank you for coming to us,” she stated, making him sit in front of her desk. She didn't have an office of her own, she was sharing it with seven more colleagues, and yes, most of them were absent, but two were still sitting by their desks, and one was drinking a coffee and chatting up some officer, who  _was_  wearing a uniform.

“Shouldn't we be talking in a less crowded place?” Sasuke questioned, looking around the room.

“No need,” she replied. “I simply want you to give a statement and provide some explanation but so far you're not accused of anything,” she informed him. “Unless you believe we should be—”

“No, no,” Sasuke hastily interrupted her.

“We've been trying to contact you for quite some time, where were you?” she asked.

“First out of town, and now I'm not staying at my apartment,” he answered. She gave him a questioning look but he didn't elaborate. It was probably best to only answer her questions.

“We’ll need your new address,” she informed him. “Do you know why you've been called?”

“Because the data's been stolen.”

“Correct,” she murmured. “You're engaged to miss Haruno, who was the project lead for all the stolen projects. Were you responsible for it?”

“No,” Sasuke answered. She typed something into the pc.

“Have you ever seen any documents related to these projects?”

“Only after they were posted online,” he replied.

“Did you have an access to them?”

“Yes but only once and for a short moment,” Sasuke sighed.

“And yet you claim you've never opened the files—”

“I didn't open them,” Sasuke interrupted her.

“Why?” she asked, her eyes drilling into his skull. He took a deep breath.

“I had no reason to do it, she's my  _fiancee_ —”

“How long have you been engaged?” she inquired.

“…four months,” he answered.

“How long have you been dating?”

“Four months,” Sasuke muttered.

“How long have you known miss Haruno personally?”

“Four months,” he grunted. “But it doesn't change anything—”

“The reason you've given for not uploading the files was your relationship with miss Haruno,” she pointed out. Sasuke noticed that the plaque on her desk read Karui. “I doubt that you’re truly loyal to her, you've known her for four months,” she continued. “Not to mention that a few weeks ago everyone's seen a photo of you and your gay lover. You also have no relationship history. To me it seems like your engagement wasn't this important to you.”

“She was still supposed to become my wife,” Sasuke gritted through his teeth.

“Curious how you're using past tense even though just a while ago you’ve called her your fiancee. Has your wedding been called off?” she questioned in an annoyingly innocent tone.

“No, it wasn't,” Sasuke informed her.

“Does it mean you're planning to call it off?” she asked.

“Why is my personal life on a trial right now?” Sasuke asked back.

“It's not on trial  _yet_ ,” she disagreed, showing him a nasty smile. “But since the relationship between you and miss Haruno—”

“I'm not the kind of person, who would do something like this,” Sasuke snapped. “I wouldn't steal anything from your laptop, and I don’t know you either.”

“Most people wouldn't commit a crime if they could help it,” the woman chirped. “But in your situation… I can sympathize with a gay guy not wanting to spend the rest of his life in an unhappy marriage that's been planned for him by his strict parents,” she murmured.

“It wasn't me,” Sasuke barked at her. “It was Gaara, and if you just—“

“Who's Gaara?” she asked him.

“He's the guy, who stole and uploaded the files,” he hissed. She tilted her head, so he listed the creep’s companies for her. She typed something into her computer, and then wasn't saying anything for at least ten minutes. He enjoyed the silence. It helped him calm down. He also wished someone had offered him water or coffee because he felt as if he dug a tunnel through dunes with his tongue.

“And why would he do this?” she eventually questioned. “He has nothing to gain. He's not your competitor, he has no relationship to either miss Haruno or you, and so far he's been an upstanding citizen.”

“So have I,” Sasuke growled. “He wants to get back at my  _gay lover_ ,” he muttered, making quotation marks with his fingers.

“ _Sure_ ,” she cooed at him. “I wonder how he gained access to the files then.”

“He hacked the laptop,” he breathed out. “He sent my fiancee a flash drive containing pictures of my  _gay lover_ ,” he clarified because the woman didn't look too convinced. “I'm guessing the files were infected—"

“And yet you didn't report anything?” she inquired. “You're only saying this  _now_ , after I insinuated it was  _you_.”

“Just check it,” Sasuke sighed. “He's your guy, and you're wasting your time—”

“Why haven't you reported it earlier?” she questioned. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. “Have you seen those photos?”

“No,” he replied.

“Why?” she asked.

“Because I didn't want to,” he snapped.

“Why?” she repeated her question.

“…they were taken without his permission,” he confessed.

“Lovely,” she commented. “So what's the name of your gay lover?”

“You'll have to ask him yourself,” Sasuke muttered.

“So you're refusing to answer the question,” she stated.

“It's not interrogation,” he replied. “I've already provided you with plenty of information.”

“So where were you during the weekend?” she asked.

“Away,” Sasuke barked back.

“Are you certain you want to do it the hard way?” she inquired with a sweet smile.

“I'm not certain how I want to do it but I’m not going to decide it without a lawyer at my side,” he retorted.

“Next time it'll be the hard way,” she informed him.

“I don’t care,” he breathed out, and got up from the chair, half-expecting to be held in place against his will but no, she did nothing, and her colleagues didn't even look at him. He slowly stepped away, and when he still hasn't been stopped, he picked up the pace, and soon he was in the lobby again. People were staring at him, and this time getting  _out_  was significantly easier even if he still spent more time at the doors than was perhaps understandable. He rushed towards the car, not turning when he heard someone take a picture of him again.

He didn’t care.

He just wanted to go back home.

And it wasn’t even  _home_ , it was just some random condo but at least Naruto was there. He sucked in a shaky breath, and picked the blonde’s number, deciding he would ask whether there was something he needed to buy but there was no answer. He considered texting  _urgent_  but it wasn't urgent. He even knew that they didn't really need anything. He just wanted to hear Naruto say something, anything. Not even an  _everything is alright_ , Sasuke would've been fine with something as trivial as  _we're out of bread_.

But it was okay, okay, okay. Naruto would call him back soon because surely, he'd stop talking in a few minutes, and then he was going to call Sasuke back. He must've seen that Sasuke called him, and soon everything was going to be fine, and there was no point in even turning on the car radio because it would need to be muted soon, and besides, Sasuke didn’t want to listen to yet another song about love and ass, and sorrow, and having a good time, no, he simply wanted Naruto to say that they didn't need anything or that they needed something dumb he would buy at the grocery store that was located on the ground floor.

Because it meant that everything was indeed fine.

His road back took him exactly thirty six minutes but Naruto didn’t return the call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bah, ao3 went down when I wanted to update, and it was a huge mess, and it usually takes me like 3 min to add a chapter but today it took me over half an hour
> 
> fml
> 
> i also wish i updated this on the 1st of april but i fucked up
> 
> and also  
> huhuhuhuh  
> CLIFFHANGER
> 
> don't you just LOVE them  
> i know i do
> 
> i'm trying to not use them because i'm a nice person
> 
> but i'm also susceptible to the pull of the dark side
> 
> this ff has like 140k words and just one smut
> 
> and it's not even a good one
> 
> what are you doing here lmao


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :y

Naruto flinched when he heard a doorbell. He was kind of relieved because at least it gave him a reason to stop talking to, as Sasuke probably would've branded him, one of his creeps. This one was a good guy at heart but he was also very, very tiring, and Naruto didn't really have the audacity to use that word lightly.

“Someone's at the door, talk to you later,” he blurted out into the phone, which was already feeling hot against his ear, and quickly disconnected. He kicked off the covers, and got out of bed, slowly trudging towards the doors. His head was heavy and aching but he was about to see Sasuke, and so far everything was going great, and now he maybe even deserved a little break, and there was nothing he wanted more than to just make some tea, and somehow convince Sasuke to join him in the bed, so they could relax together. His face muscles were already hurting from all that fake smiling. He unlocked the doors and stepped aside, the corners of his lips slowly turning upwards as the doors slid open. This one was a genuine smile.

And then it died within mere seconds. Because it wasn't Sasuke.

It was Gaara.

The man looked as if the four horsemen of apocalypse had an orgy and somehow produced offspring just to neglect the shit out of them for at least a few millennia.

“What are you doing here?” Naruto demanded to know.

“We need to talk,” Gaara insisted. He too was a little bit shorter than Naruto, and maybe not as short as Sasori but Sasori was a redhead too, and Naruto realized that he had practically went for a mini version of Gaara. It made everything even worse.

“No, we don't,” he disagreed, ready to slam the doors shut.

“Do you remember what's happened the last time you ignored me?” the shorter man hissed. “I'm really trying to be reasonable,” he complained. “But you keep leaving me no choice—”

“You're not being  _reasonable_ ,” Naruto barked. “What are you going to do  _now_ , eh? Seriously, how do you want to ruin my life now?”

“I'm not trying to  _ruin_ your life, I simply want us to be together,” Gaara muttered. “You're just feeling guilty because of that other guy, and it's  _fine_ , I understand it, you've always had a soft spot for people like him but it's only because he reminds you of  _me_ ,” he whispered, and he sounded as if he too was suffering from a fever, only his was much higher than Naruto’s. “Face it, Naruto, whatever you think you feel towards him stems from the fact that he's somewhat like me,” he insisted. “But I want you, and he  _doesn't_.”

“He's nothing like you,” Naruto snapped.

“Yes, because  _I_  am the  _real thing_ ,” Gaara exclaimed. “But you prefer to give all of your affections to him because you know he won't reciprocate, and you're afraid of actually letting yourself love and be loved, so he's nothing more but a safe choice—”

“You're insane,” the blonde yelled at him. “Seriously, whatever delusions you're harboring, they’re all—”

“I've heard what you said when you called me,” Gaara interrupted him. “You  _know_ you want  _me_ ,” he insisted.

“I really  _don’t_ ,” Naruto informed him. The redhead frowned at him, clearly unhappy about the direction the conversation was taking. For whatever reason, it made Naruto feel sick satisfaction.

“…are you really so afraid of your feelings that you'll let him ruin his life?” Gaara asked after a longer while of silence. Naruto's heard his phone ring but he made no move to pick it up. What Gaara's said to him made almost no sense but the man  _was_  right about one thing: Naruto has been actively letting Sasuke ruin his own life. And he was still doing it. Not because he had feelings towards Gaara—because the only ones he did have were fright and disgust—but because he was being selfish. “Naruto, you do know I’m still trying to not go too hard on him, yes? I'm doing it for you but my patience is running thin. And we could've avoided it all if you've just agreed to reply to my messages back then.”

“ _Don't_  hurt him,” Naruto mumbled out. “I get it that you're angry at me, and really, I can take whatever you'll throw at me but don't hurt  _him_ —”

“My point is not to hurt you,” Gaara murmured. “I'd never hurt  _you_ —”

“But you  _did_ ,” Naruto screamed.

“That was not my goal,” the man sighed. “Let me in,” he pleaded. The blonde took a deep breath, considering his options. He could tell Gaara to go to hell but it was bound to end in a disaster. The other was to try to bargain yet again. Maybe not even to strike a deal, but rather to secure Sasuke’s safety until Gaara was to be locked down. Naruto balled his hand into a fist, and let the other man in. “I know that you're under a lot of stress right now but—”

“What do you want from me?” Naruto interrupted the redhead.

“I only want you to be true to yourself,” he answered. The blonde fought the urge to either glare or at least roll his eyes at him. “Naruto, I came here to make peace. I've even bought some of his father's stock as a gesture of good will. I can buy more if you just stop being so afraid. It'll be as if nothing ever happened. A clean slate. This is what you've wanted from me, remember?”

Naruto plastered yet another fake smile on his face, forcing himself to remain calm even if deep inside he was boiling. There was never going to be any clean slate. Sasuke was currently a mess, struggling to leave a goddamn flat, and there was no going back.

“It's too late for that,” Naruto replied. “Why have you even come here?”

“Because I don’t want us to fight,” Gaara answered as if it was obvious, and as if they were fighting over Naruto's taste in shoelaces. “And you wanted it to stop too, so let's just put an end to it. I've said some things I regret over the phone but you must forgive me, you've been trying to make me jealous for weeks, and it's finally worked—”

“I wasn’t trying to make you jealous, I was trying to live my life,” Naruto protested.

“Naruto, be honest with yourself, Sasuke's only a poor replacement, and all these other people… you didn’t even  _look_  as if you were truly enjoying it—”

“I  _was_  enjoying it,” the blonde spat out. Gaara let out an exasperated sigh.

“Look, it doesn't matter, I'm ready to forgive you for everything. Just come with me,” he pleaded. Naruto chewed on the inside of his cheek. He wanted Sasuke to be safe. He wanted to put Gaara in jail or an asylum, it didn't really matter  _where_  as long, as it was far away.

“I don’t know if I can trust you,” Naruto finally said. “You broke all of our previous deals.”

“You made me break them,” Gaara disagreed. Naruto cleared his throat.

“You knew how important my job and my clients are to me, and yet you've—”

“He's not your client anymore,” Gaara snarled. “There's no reason for you to stay here with him.”

“But he  _used to_  be my client, and he's in trouble because of me,” Naruto argued. “I can't just abandon him like that, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night—”

“Fine,” Gaara barked. “I'll make it all go away under one condition.”

“I'm not leaving him until everything's fine,” Naruto interrupted the redhead, who merely shook his head at him, visibly upset and annoyed.

“You won't cheat on me again,” Gaara demanded. Naruto slowly nodded, feeling sick to his stomach. As if he ate five bags of ice cubes. He was quite certain that if he was to throw up, only iced tea would leave his stomach, and he's been drinking his tea  _hot_. “I'm glad we've came to an understanding,” Gaara gritted through his teeth. Suddenly, and seemingly out of the blue, the man got closer and pulled on Naruto’s sweater to make him lean in. Naruto was so surprised by the sudden movement that he did stagger forward, and then he heard doors being open, and there was tobacco-tasting breath on his skin, Gaara's thin lips brushing against his, and his hand buried itself into Naruto's hair like a claw, and it all lasted less than a second, and before Naruto knew what was going on, he felt a sharp pang of pain on his scalp, and he could swear he was going to have a bald spot now, and Gaara wasn’t  _there_  anymore. Because Gaara was plastered on the wall, looking as he struggled to catch a breath.

“Get the fuck out,” Sasuke's voice vibrated through the air, and when Naruto looked to his side, Sasuke was indeed there, somewhat pale but close. Naruto sucked in a shallow breath, still groggy and confused. Half thankful to Sasuke, and half afraid that everything was going to hell now. Naruto turned his head towards Gaara, uncertain what he wanted to say. He was met with a hateful stare.

“He's not yours, he's mine” Gaara growled.

“But you're in the condo  _I_ rented, so get the fuck out before I call the cops,” Sasuke muttered in reply, positioning himself between Naruto and Gaara, and the blonde realized that it wasn’t the first time this happened, that Sasuke was actually doing it every time there was any sort of physical threat, and Naruto didn't feel like he needed it but it still felt  _nice_.

“Naruto invited me in—”

“There's only my name on the rental papers, so get out,” Sasuke growled. He fished into his pocket, and took out a phone. He showed it to Gaara. “I'm calling the cops  _right now_.”

And then yes, there was some clicking, and then a long noise, and then the calling signal, and by that time Gaara's already left, slamming the doors behind himself, and Naruto heard some woman introduce herself, and Sasuke hung up on her. He threw his phone on the sofa but then it fell on the rug, and Sasuke apparently didn't care because he was busy closing the doors. And then he simply entered the bathroom, closed himself inside, and, judging from the sounds, slumped on the floor.

Naruto approached the flat doors to look through the peephole. Gaara was nowhere to be found. The blonde once again checked if the apartment was truly locked, and headed towards the bathroom. He softly knocked on the doors.

“Sasuke, are you alright?” he quietly asked. There was no answer, so he went to the bedroom, grabbed a comforter, bundled himself up in it, and returned under the bathroom doors, where he crouched, resting his back against the wall. “Just say something, so I know you're still conscious,” Naruto pleaded.

“I'm fine,” Sasuke barked at him through the closed doors.

“If you want, we can move again today,” the blonde offered. There was no answer. “How did it go at the police station?” he asked. That too apparently didn't deserve a reply. “Thanks for stepping in,” he mumbled out. Still nothing. “Are you angry at me?” he inquired.

“I don’t know,” Sasuke scoffed.

“Fyi, he forced that kiss on me,” Naruto confessed.

“I thought it was none of my business,” the man hissed. The blonde shrugged his shoulders even though he was quite certain that under normal circumstances he would've said exactly that.

“I'm not so much into open relationships,” Naruto confessed. “So it may be your business if you want.” Naruto remained quiet for the next few minutes. Sasuke didn't make a sound, as if he's been turned into stone and was completely unable to move. This was why the rustling of the comforter seemed so loud, Naruto guessed. “I let Gaara in because we need more time,” he murmured. “The mess is already huge, so it's better if he thinks that—”

“It can't get much worse than it already did, Naruto,” Sasuke interrupted him. “So you could've told him to go fuck himself.”

“What if he sends the photos to your parents?” Naruto asked. He heard the other man let out a shaky breath. “He wanted…  _this_  to end too. He's tired of it.”

“Forgive me for not feeling sorry for him,” Sasuke snapped.

“Nah, I simply think it's good news. If he remains idle, and everything goes according to plan, we’re golden,” he argued. This too went without an answer. Naruto sighed, wrapping himself tighter in the comforter. “I had plenty of luck so far,” he started again. “Most guys were happy to hear from me, and most promised to—”

“ _Great_ ,” Sasuke commented in an icy tone. It probably meant that at that particular moment he couldn't care less. Naruto tapped his knee, and turned his eyes towards a boring picture of a single jonquil.

“Do you want me to get you something to drink or a blanket, or whatever else?” he asked. He waited a few minutes for an answer he knew he wasn't going to get. The jonquil had only five petals. Funny, usually they had six. “Why are you upset?” he inquired.

“I'm not upset,” Sasuke muttered.

“Isn't a single jonquil a symbol of bad luck?” the blonde mumbled out, having had fully expected Sasuke to insist that he wasn't  _upset_.

“…what?” the man sighed.

“There's a single jonquil here, and I believe it means—”

“I have no idea what a jonquil is,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“A flower. You know, daffodils, narcissuses,” the blonde explained. “You call them jonquils, and there's a picture of one in the corridor,” he continued. “I think you're not supposed to give people a single jonquil because it symbolizes bad luck,” he concluded, resting his chin on his linked forearms.

“I don't like them anyways,” Sasuke replied. Naruto heard him shift his position. He hoped it was a good sign. “Sakura brought me one when we started dating,” Sasuke confessed out of the blue. The blonde hummed.

“Told ya, bad luck,” he whispered. “In greater numbers they mean yearning and desire, and sorrow. It's a sad flower,” he murmured. Sasuke stopped replying again but this time it could've been Naruto’s fault because there wasn't much more to say, especially since Sasuke didn't really care for flowers. He didn’t even have a favorite one. “You've wanted to call her,” Naruto reminded him.

“I don’t have anything to tell her,” the man protested, all exasperated and resigned.

“You can tell her that you aren't responsible for the leak, that we know who is, and that we're already working on it,” Naruto disagreed. He kind of wanted to add that Sasuke could also tell his fiancée that their engagement was broken but it wasn't really something that should be discussed over the phone, and, what's more, it had to be Sasuke's decision.

“I don’t even know how I'm supposed to act around her,” Sasuke protested. Naruto chewed on his bottom lip. If he was to be completely honest with himself, he too had no idea how Sasuke was supposed to act. He's never even let Sakura meet the real him. 

“Maybe try to be yourself,” the blonde shyly supplied. He was answered with a huff that  _maybe_  aspired to become a fully fledged snort but right now it was still half sigh.

“I doubt she's interested in getting to know me better. It's a miracle the wedding hasn't been officially called off yet,” the man murmured.

“I think she still wants to marry you,” Naruto disagreed. “And I think that she knows it's kind of her fault that the leak happened. She knows she wasn't careful enough,” he added.

“…and you know this how?” Sasuke questioned.

“She's not stupid,” Naruto pointed out. “But things would get even worse if she was to admit her carelessness,” he said. He heard Sasuke move again. “Maybe you want to get out,” he suggested. “I can make us some tea,” he offered.

“Will you always be sitting next to the bathroom doors whenever I come inside?” Sasuke sighed.

“Only when I think you might need my company,” the blonde promised.

“It's somewhat creepy,” Sasuke commented. He was sounding already far more relaxed than twenty minutes ago.

“I'm not trying to creep you out,” Naruto protested. “I just don't want you to feel like you're alone—”

“I'm coming in here because I  _want_ to be alone,” the man pointed out.

“I don’t think you do,” Naruto disagreed. “And you  _are_ alone in there, I'm just making sure you're not feeling  _lonely_ ,” he added.

“…I have no idea why you even care,” Sasuke confessed after a longer while of pregnant silence.

“I believe I've already told you why I care,” the blonde whispered in reply. “If you open the doors, I can come  _in_ ,” he offered.

“I don’t feel like standing up,” Sasuke mumbled out after a few long seconds. Naruto groaned. “Just let yourself in,” Sasuke sighed. Naruto rolled his eyes and got up, leaving the comforter on the floor. He trudged towards the kitchen, opened a drawer, and took out a butter knife. He went back into the corridor, and broke into the bathroom. “You don’t have to close the doors,” Sasuke informed him. The blonde nodded, put the butter knife into the bathroom sink, grabbed the comforter, heavily plopped next to Sasuke, and rested his head on the other man's shoulder. “How are you?” Sasuke asked.

“Fine,” the blonde replied.

“I wasn't making a small talk, I actually want to know,” the man muttered.

“I'm feeling better,” Naruto murmured back. Sasuke hummed in reply. “And so far everything's going better than I expected. We don't even have to ship that laptop to Shino, he's going to buy one there, and upload the file tonight,” the blonde continued. “Gaara kind of ruined my day but then you came back, and now it's better,” he concluded. A soft sigh left Sasuke’s lips. Naruto shifted to lie a little more comfortably. It wasn’t easy considering he was lying on the bathroom floor, and the tiles were rather cold and hard. Sasuke dipped his head a little bit, so it rested against Naruto’s. That too was uncomfortable but Naruto chose to ignore it. “You keep trying to protect me,” he commented, closing his eyes, and wishing Sasuke and he were lying on a soft bed instead.

“What?” the man asked, sounding as if he was about to fall asleep.

“You stand in front of me whenever it looks like something bad might happen,” Naruto clarified. “I  _can_  take care of myself. It's not like I get into fights very often but I won most of them.”

“I'm not doing it consciously, sorry,” Sasuke sighed. The blonde inhaled, breathing in Sasuke's scent, and Sasuke smelled  _warm_. It wasn’t really making much sense but it was soothing. He was hoping that he had a similar effect on the other man. After all he had said that Naruto's presence was calming him.

“I don’t really mind it,” the blonde murmured. He smiled when he felt Sasuke planting a small kiss on the top of his head. “I hope I don't have a bald spot now,” he chuckled. “I think you made Gaara pull some of my hair out.”

“Sorry,” Sasuke breathed out into his scalp. Then he must've raised his head because Naruto couldn't feel it anymore. The blonde hoped it didn't mean he'd ruined the moment. “You don't have a bald spot,” Sasuke informed him and returned to his previous position, his breath ruffling Naruto's hair, and making his skin tingle.

“Great,” Naruto laughed. “That's one less reason why I should feel self-conscious about myself.”

“What are the other ones?” Sasuke quietly asked.

“Depends on a day,” the blonde answered after a longer time.

“That's cheating,” Sasuke commented. “Even I could list a few,” he added.

“Hit me,” Naruto replied.

“You looked like a cheese puff in your  _favorite_  sweater,” the man snorted. “Does it hold any sentimental value to you?” he asked.

“No, it's simply warm, comfy, and funny,” Naruto huffed.

“It's  _silly_ ,” Sasuke disagreed. His hand somehow wormed itself behind Naruto's back without him noticing, and landed on his side. The blonde scuttled closer, and threw some of the comforter on Sasuke's body. Then, after a few good minutes of struggling, he managed to pull down all the towels from the hanger. At least two fell right on Sasuke’s face. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know, I just feel like lying down,” Naruto replied, folding the towels into makeshift pillows. He studied them for a few seconds and eventually decided it was as good as it could possibly get. He gently pushed Sasuke down on the tiny heap, and lied next to him. “How did it go at the police station?” the blonde asked, hoping it was already the right time to ask Sasuke some questions.

“I have no idea,” the man answered, sounding mostly tired. “But I don’t think they liked me,” he confessed.

“ _Sasuke_ ,” Naruto whined. “Why?”

“They were annoying,” Sasuke blurted out, sounding offended.

“It's not like you have to  _marry_  them and spend the rest of your life with them,” Naruto complained.

“Shut up,” Sasuke barked, pinching Naruto's side, and forcing him to make one of the most undignified noises that's ever left his lips. At least it made Sasuke laugh. “And I'm not talking to them anymore without a lawyer at my side,” he added when the blonde swatted his hand away.

“I kind of regret letting you go there alone,” Naruto said, letting out an exasperated sigh.

“It wasn't so bad,” Sasuke protested.

“Mhm, I'm sure it wasn’t,” Naruto yawned. “I don’t think you'd fare well in a prison,” he commented. “You're kind of pretty, and I doubt you'd appreciate random guys hitting on you,” he murmured.

“I don't think you'd fit in better than me,” Sasuke muttered as if his life goal was to prove he'd be better at being imprisoned.

“How do you know I've never been to jail?” Naruto asked in an over the top creepy voice.

“Have you?” Sasuke questioned.

“Nah,” the blonde admitted.

“Thought so,” the other man breathed out, sounding somewhat relieved. Naruto frowned. He felt as if Sasuke already thought there were so many things wrong with him that having been in prison would've been too much. “You have enough problems as it is, and I'm guessing that being imprisoned could've messed you up even more,” Sasuke continued.

“Pfft, you're pretty messed up yourself,” Naruto blurted out, rolling on his stomach, raising his upper body on his elbows, and resting his head in his linked hands. He blew Sasuke a raspberry, and watched as the man frowned at him.

“It's not a  contest,” Sasuke grunted.

“I'd still follow you to the end of the world,” the blonde confessed. Sasuke rolled his eyes, and cupped  Naruto's head to pull him in for what the blonde assumed was going to be a kiss, but Sasuke stopped when Naruto's face was maybe one inch away. “Do you want me to finish what you've started?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. Sasuke’s face was so close that he probably didn't even see the eyebrow, and so it was a complete waste of calories.

The man nodded, so Naruto leaned in, pressing his lips against Sasuke’s. It still felt special and perhaps it was because they weren't kissing too often or maybe it was simply the fact that they didn't know each other for too long, and so they were a little awkward around each other. If he was to be honest with himself, he still wasn’t certain how far Sasuke wanted to go with him. Sasuke’s hands moved to Naruto’s cheeks, and his tongue gently pushed itself into Naruto’s mouth. It was a welcome intrusion. The blonde made an appreciative noise as their tongues lazily touched. He raised himself on his hands, placing them on both sides of Sasuke's head. The man let out a sound strangely resembling a quiet moan, so Naruto pulled away for a few short seconds, and climbed between Sasuke's legs. Sasuke grabbed the blonde by his shoulders, and pretty much forced him to get closer.

Naruto rested more of his weight on the other man. Sasuke's belt buckle was biting into his stomach, so he reached with his hand to remove it. Sasuke let out a little gasp, and Naruto’s hands froze on Sasuke's hips, belt awkwardly hanging from them, the metal buckle swinging, and making unpleasant clunking noises whenever it was hitting the tiled floor.

“Sorry,” Naruto mumbled out. “It's not what it looks like, I swear,” he hastily added, finally letting go off the belt. He wanted to get on his knees to give Sasuke some space but the man didn't let him.

“It's okay,” he assured Naruto. “I was only surprised,” he explained. “Go on,” he added. Naruto gulped.

“Are you certain? The last time didn't go too well, so—”

“In the worst case scenario you'll stop,” Sasuke grumbled, and looked away.

“It's already not going too well,” the blonde complained.

“Because you’re making it weird,” the other man whined.

“So far you've only jerked us off, and we were both wearing clothes, and you were way hornier, and after that it was a disaster,” Naruto blurted out in an apologetic tone.

“You fucked  _seven_  people in two days, and I seriously doubt you were freaking out this much back then,” Sasuke grunted, covering his eyes with his forearm. “Just pretend I'm some random hookup if it'll make it easier for you,” he suggested. Naruto frowned.

“You're not a random hookup, Sasuke,” he replied. “I don’t want to fuck this up,” he explained, rubbing his shoulder. He was embarrassed. Maybe Sasuke was right, and he  _was_ making it weird. Maybe he needed to relax and let the things run its course. “I  _really_  don’t want to fuck this up,” he repeated.

Sasuke let out an exasperated sigh.

“Do you want to see me naked?” he asked. Naruto tilted his head.

“That's pretty random,” he commented with a nervous laugh. Sasuke removed his forearm from his face and glared at Naruto.

“Why do you think you'll fuck this up?” he asked after taking in a deep breath.

“I don't know, I'll make you uncomfortable or something, and then you won't want to be with me anymore, and it'll be over,” he blabbered.

“I'm prepared to feel a little uncomfortable,” Sasuke replied.

“Yeah, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or awkward, or anything like it,” the blonde mumbled out.

“I think it's you, who feels uncomfortable,” Sasuke sighed. “I can show you myself naked if you think it would help you get used to the idea of us having sex,” he offered. Naruto blinked at him. “I'm not exactly hard right now, so I'm a little self-conscious,” Sasuke confessed after a moment. Naruto kind of expected the man to look away but no, he did manage to keep the eye contact even if his cheeks got a little more pink than they usually were. “But, like I've said before I  _am_ prepared to feel a little uncomfortable,” Sasuke said. “I  _trust_  you.”

“It's just that last time you told me to go on even though you clearly weren't feeling it, and I'm afraid you'll do it again, only this time I won't notice, and it'll be a mess,” Naruto whispered. This time Sasuke did look away.

“I don’t know how I feel about anal,” the man grunted after a longer while of unpleasant silence. “Especially since you want me to bottom,” he admitted and cleared his throat. “Not that I want you to do something against yourself,” he added with haste.

“We don’t have to do anal,” Naruto replied, feeling stupidly awkward. As if he's never had sex before. “There's plenty of ways we can have sex,” he grumbled.

“So let's not do any anal for the time being,” Sasuke suggested.

“But you're certain that—”

“Yes,” Sasuke interrupted him. “And I'll let you know when I do feel ready for anal,” he promised. Naruto sucked in a shaky breath.

“I'll tell you when I feel ready too,” he whispered. “And I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything,” he blurted out.

“I don’t feel pressured,” Sasuke assured him. “I kind of wish we stopped talking about it but if you do feel the need to discuss it, feel free to do so,” he breathed out. Naruto nodded, and lied again, resting his head on Sasuke’s shoulder.

“Do you like want to leave the bathroom or something?” he asked.

“Not really,” Sasuke answered. The blonde nodded and hummed under his nose. “And I still don't feel like calling Sakura,” he added.

“It's fine,” the blonde assured him.

“I don’t think she'd even want me if she saw me like this,” Sasuke sighed, rubbing his eyes. “It’s not like I really care,” he murmured. “I'm just surprised  _you_  still haven't given up on me.”

“You haven't given me a reason,” the blonde whispered.

“I'm a mess,” Sasuke sighed. Naruto shrugged his shoulders. “And you don’t even deny it.”

“We’re both a mess,” he replied. “It doesn’t really bother me,” he murmured.

“I can't even imagine how my father would react if he learned that I have problems with something as stupid as going outside,” Sasuke continued. “Seeing how my mom thinks I'm too weak for the real world, she would probably just keep me inside forever,” he grunted. “And you're stupidly patient with me.”

“You're patient with me too,” Naruto pointed out.

“I have no idea what you see in me,” Sasuke said and yawned.

“You're caring, considerate, and kind of cute,” Naruto listed without much thinking. “I can't say you're the nicest person I've ever met but… I don’t know, it just works. And it might sound stupid but you  _get_   _me_.”

“I still don’t know where you got that  _cute_  part from,” Sasuke complained. Naruto opened his mouth ready to answer but Sasuke’s moved much quicker.” And I don't even  _want_  to know,” he hissed.

“Your loss,” the blonde chirped. “I've worked on that audio file to remove my name and distort my voice,” he informed Sasuke. “So all we have to do now is swinging by some restaurant with a free Wi-Fi, upload it to the cloud, destroy the laptop, and give Shino the link,” he said. “Well, first I'll need to work on that laptop for a short while, but we’re actually ahead of schedule, so,” he coughed, “we can stay here for however long you want,” he concluded.

“Sounds exciting,” Sasuke commented, raising his hand and studying it as if he's never had hands before, and still wasn’t sure how to use them. After that awkward display the hand landed on Naruto’s arm.

“ _Smooth_ ,” the blonde chuckled. Sasuke made a clearly annoyed noise, and moved to get his hand away but he resigned after Naruto gave his shoulder a little reassuring squeeze. “Normally I'd be asking you questions but I kind of asked them all like three weeks ago,” he murmured. “Except for the embarrassing ones, that is,” he added and perked up.

“They were embarrassing enough,” Sasuke complained. “I never got to ask  _you_  any questions,” he stated in a careful tone, and at first Naruto had no idea why Sasuke felt as if he had to tread carefully, but then he realized that he had told the man to not ask any questions. Repeatedly.

“Ask away,” he murmured. Sasuke's chest rose and then fell again, and that was probably the biggest inhale and exhale that was ever taken by a human being but there was nobody to witness it but Naruto.

“Is your elevator thing really irrational?” the man asked. Naruto rolled his eyes and nodded, sending Sasuke a lazy smile. “Which number am I?”

“Number one,” Naruto huffed. Sasuke glared at him, so he shook his head, wondering if he shouldn't be pretending that he had no idea what Sasuke meant but he had a very good idea, and he was quite certain that Sasuke  _was_ willing to explain the question to him. “Are we talking about sex or relationships?” he asked instead.

“Both,” the man answered.

“This would be my third relationship, and I kind of lost count when it comes to sex but I’m still in double digits,” he grunted. “And I'm not nearing triple digits. Why do you ask?”

“Curiosity,” Sasuke hissed.

“I have no idea which approach you're taking but If it’s about me being used goods—”

“It's  _not_ ,” the man barked.

“I just wanted to say that I'm healthy, and I know that the last time it wasn’t exactly safe sex but it was the most risky thing I've done in  _ages_ ,” Naruto continued. “I pretty much forgot how cocks taste like, it's all silicon and artificial flavors now,” he snorted. “So, you know, I'm pretty responsible when it comes to this,” he said and shrugged his shoulders. “I get myself tested every three months or so. I still have to wait a little bit to test myself after that club but, like I’ve said, I'm very careful when it comes to this. The initial tests came out clean though, so—”

“You don't have to share your entire medical history with me,” Sasuke replied.

“And the  _other_ thing I wanted to say is that you don’t have to compete against those people,” Naruto murmured. “It's not like I'm good at sex or anything, it was mostly one night stands, and people usually go for the most generic thing ever, so I simply had lots of first times,” he said. “In my first relationship I didn't have sex at all, and then I had a girlfriend, but we've slept like maybe four or five times, and it wasn't exactly good sex, I was way too nervous and excited, and she looked mostly disappointed afterwards,” he confessed. “I got better though,” he hastily added.

“…it’s hard to believe you have only two exes, and yet insisted on us being together,” Sasuke commented after a longer while. “Were you planning to get together with Gaara too?”

“No, I've told you that it was just me being stupid,” Naruto sighed. “And drunk. And if it happened after all, it would've been a pity fuck. So it's different with you,” he explained. “You're asking about Gaara awfully often,” he noticed. “Are you like jealous about him or something?”

“I don’t want to be the next thing you'll regret,” Sasuke answered.

“So you don't want to become Gaara,” Naruto hummed. “Don’t worry, it was obvious that he was kind of obsessive from the first day I met him,” he mumbled out. “So I knew there was something wrong with him. And now you're probably wondering why I considered having sex with him anyways,” he said and let out a miserable chuckle. “I was feeling down, and I wanted to feel wanted. It's stupid and you don't have to worry about it, I already got over it,” he assured Sasuke.

“It's not stupid,” the man disagreed. “I hope you do feel wanted now. Because you are.”

“I tear up easily, have some mercy,” Naruto pleaded with a short laugh, his eyes already glossing over. “And besides, you may want to take it back next week, and I can't get too attached to you, I mean, we both know that I'm not exactly a good match for you, so—”

“You're the only match for me,” Sasuke interrupted him, awkwardly rubbing Naruto's arm. “I'd tell you to not be so insecure, but I'm constantly worried that you'll get tired of dealing with my mess, and you did tell me a few times that it doesn't bother you, so I guess we both need more time to feel more confident about it all.”

“You could be hosting your own talk show,” the blonde blurted out. “I'm not certain whether it would be the stupid or the sappy kind but—”

“Why stupid?” Sasuke sighed.

“I meant it as people would come to the show with some really stupid problems,” Naruto clarified.

“Your problems aren't stupid,” Sasuke breathed out. And it seemed like his patience was already running thin.

“So it'll be a sappy talk show,” Naruto murmured.

“I'm not going to host a talk show,” the man muttered.

“I need to use the bathroom,” the blonde mumbled out a few minutes later. Sasuke let out a massive sigh, as if he was deeply disappointed with him. “If you don't feel like leaving, I can either go to the kitchen—”

“Gross,” Sasuke commented.

“Or you can just keep me company,” the blonde offered.

“I'm not keeping you company,” the other man hissed.

“In this case you need to leave,” Naruto replied.

“Can't you just hold it?” Sasuke complained.

“I don’t want to hold it,” the blonde whined. “Just pick something you feel least uncomfortable with,” he pleaded.

“I pick you holding it,” Sasuke barked.

“It's not healthy,” Naruto scoffed.

“Doing it once won't kill you,” Sasuke argued.

“I'm going to kitchen,” Naruto muttered.

“It's gross.”

“It's not your flat,” the blonde pointed out.

“I don’t care if it's not my flat, you're  _not_  pissing into the kitchen sink,” the man almost yelled. “Why the hell are you so laid back about it, is it something you do on a regular basis? Seriously, what is wrong with you?” he asked in a low voice.

“It's difficult to use bathroom when you're in drag, so—”

“I don’t need any details,” Sasuke interrupted him.

“I could've just went there without telling you,” Naruto sighed.

“You're gross,” the man decided. “I'm leaving, you cured me, piss all you want,” he announced, pretty much pushing Naruto off himself. Then he brushed some invisible dust off his pants, and left the bathroom, slamming the doors behind himself. Naruto couldn't refrain himself from letting out an undignified snort. And he could swear he could hear Sasuke pacing around the flat, and mumbling random words such as  _dumbass_ and  _stupid_ _Naruto_ , and  _oh my fucking god_.

The blonde grinned, feeling stupidly giddy for no reason whatsoever. And he didn't even need to piss this much, he simply wanted Sasuke to be more alive.

And it worked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (′ʘ⌄ʘ‵)
> 
> my ffs are like 90% dialogue


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how do people manage to write ffs that are 10k words long and make sense
> 
> teach me masters

Naruto yawned, feeling exhausted even though he's spent most of the day sitting on bed and barely moving. He had prepared the laptop, and now he was sitting in a car he rented for just a few hours, so he wouldn't need to use the one he was currently leasing, parked by a McDonald's on the outskirts of the city, already connected to their Wi-Fi, and ready to upload the file.

He'd made Sasuke stay at home. Sasuke called him paranoid, and looked generally unhappy about the plan. It was however for the best. This way even if the police  _were_  able to connect this to Naruto, Sasuke was safe. He'd be able to say he didn't know about anything, and it would sound believably. Naruto had tried to reason with the man and told Sasuke that he didn't need him there (this turned out to be extremely bad wording, and Naruto had to admit he'd walked right into that one), then he said that it simply wasn’t a job that required two people, so Sasuke would be only keeping him company, and Naruto didn't need any company (apparently this didn't sound much better), and then Naruto reminded Sasuke that he was supposed to get the drafts from Tsunade, and perhaps he wanted to read them through and see if he wouldn't come up with something new, and Sasuke reluctantly agreed. Very reluctantly.

And Naruto felt guilty about it because he'd pretty much manipulated Sasuke into doing exactly what he wanted from him, and it seemed that Sasuke actually  _trusted_  Naruto, he's said he trusted Naruto, and maybe it wasn’t in  _that_ context, but Sasuke had to trust him because every now and then he was letting himself be vulnerable. And Naruto was letting himself be vulnerable too. He wasn’t certain whether it was a good or a bad thing. There was a possibility that everything would've been much easier if they weren't so keen on falling apart at least once every ten minutes. On the other hand, they were probably both way behind schedule, and were just making up for all that falling apart they've missed out on either because of lack of time or perhaps because they had nobody that would be able to  _understand_. It wasn’t so much about having nobody, who would  _care_ , both of their moms would  _care_ , and maybe there were other people too but it just wasn’t the same when the other person's never fell apart right in front of their eyes, so they could see that they perhaps weren't  _this_ strong, that it wasn’t shameful or embarrassing to need to hear that it was fine to be all messed up and useless.

Naruto hummed under his nose and made sure the file uploaded without any problems. He eyed the poor machine. Now he needed to dispose of it, and maybe he really was being paranoid but he'd rather waste time now than drown in shit later. Not to mention that he's already been careless, and that didn't end too well. And now it was possible that he was being followed, and it simply made everything way more complicated.

He drove away and, about twenty minutes later, he stopped at a little parking placed right next to a local forest. He chose that place because there weren't any people there, and because that parking was the only place a car could stop at, and so it felt somewhat more  _safe_. He'd see if anyone parked there too. Naruto left the car, circled it to open the trunk and get his toolbox out. Then he returned on the driver’s seat, quickly formatted the hard drive, and started to methodically dismantle the practically new laptop. It was a shame and a waste but it had to be done.

He faked his location, and Shino was going to do that too, and Naruto hoped it would be enough. Besides, most police departments wouldn't be able to recover the files even if all he did was just wiping the drive clean. And that equaled to a lack of definitive evidence. However, it was more about motive. And means. And Naruto had both. He could only hope that Tsunade was right about everyone knowing it was him and nobody able to prove it beyond reasonable doubt.

His only consolation was that he managed to keep Sasuke clear.

After tearing the laptop apart, Naruto took thick plastic bags from the glove compartment, and put every piece of hardware into separate ones. Then he packed them all into a sports bag, left the car and walked deeper into the forest. It seemed that he wasn't being followed or maybe Sasori simply was this good at it, or perhaps his cam worked like a sniper rifle, and the annoying little creep could make photos from a mile away. Naruto hoped he was never going to find out because no such photos would surface.

After a short walk he found a nice boulder he liked, so he stopped and looked around to make sure he was alone. It seemed that way. He couldn't even hear anything apart from cars driving by, but it was a rarely used road, so he heard mostly wind. One by one, he put the plastic bags on the boulder and crashed their contents with a hammer. After he was satisfied, he packed them back into the sports bag and returned to the car. Then he made a short tournée through the town, and, avoiding the surveillance cameras, one by one he threw the plastic bags and their contents away. It wasn’t exactly eco-friendly but he couldn't afford to be mindful of the environment.

And then he was finally done. He felt like calling Sasuke and letting the man know that he was going to come back home soon but he's left his phones at that stupid condo just to be  _safer_. So it would be more difficult to prove that he was disposing of evidence. He didn’t like not having a phone by his side. He felt pretty much naked and defenseless. At first he had been even considering putting on drag but he didn't even have any inconspicuous clothes. He's never needed any inconspicuous outfits. It was all about  _being_ seen and noticed, and Naruto decided that he was going to be more forgettable if he wore something boring. So there he was, in plain jeans, a grey t-shirt with some random words that didn't mean too much, and a hoodie that could be bought pretty much anywhere.

He let out a small sigh, and started the engine again. He wished he was already at home. He kept telling Sasuke that there was nothing to worry about, and he's been trying to sound convincing enough that he'd make himself believe it too but he  _was_ committing a crime. He hoped that even if he  _was_ found out, it was going to be considered a minor offence since it was all to help uncover an even  _bigger_  crime but the justice system wasn't always following laws of logic. The sooner he got  _home_ , the safer he was. Unfortunately, that was going to happen  _maybe_  an hour from now. He felt an urge to just step on the gas pedal and drive as fast, as he could, but he couldn't afford getting himself stopped for speeding. And so he obeyed the speed limit. It was almost physically painful.

What was worse, he still needed to return the car before he'd get anywhere near the apartment they were currently staying in. Luckily for him, there weren't too many formalities, and he was done with it in about five minutes. Unluckily for him, he needed to find himself a cab to take him home, and just searching for it took him over fifteen minutes. And then he had to ride with a guy, who made a few attempts at scamming him but eventually gave up.

When Naruto entered the condo, Sasuke was nowhere to be found. Naruto quickly approached the end table and grabbed his phone. Nobody's called nor texted him. It was probably for the best. He quickly typed  _hey where are you_ , and sent it to Sasuke to let him know he was already back. The man replied with a curt  _I'm on my way_. Naruto's lips curled upwards. So far everything was fine. He hoped it was going to stay this way. He sent Shino a somewhat cryptic text saying  _usual meeting spot?_ _how much money do_ _i_ _owe u_ _?_ _we can get_ _ur_ _fav sandwich_ , and heavily plopped on the armchair. He hoped Shino was going to correctly guess the name of the site, the filename and the password.

About fifteen minutes later Naruto heard a doorbell. He got up and opened the doors to find a somewhat disheveled Sasuke.

“Took you long enough,” the blonde commented. The other man sent him a glare but he didn't put his heart in it, so it wasn’t exactly intimidating.

“I had to wait for your lawyer to actually draft the documents,” Sasuke complained. “And I called her beforehand to check if she was already done with them, and she said she  _was_.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Naruto snorted.

“She  _scolded_  me and called me rude when I asked an  _hour_  later when she was going to be done,” Sasuke muttered.

“Yeah, sounds like her,” the blonde chirped. “I hope you weren’t too bored,” he murmured, taking the coat from Sasuke's hands and actually hanging it on the hanger instead of throwing it wherever. He frowned upon realizing that Sasuke's weird was rubbing off on him. Soon he was going to vacuum everyday. And clean the dishwasher every other day. And clean the windows once a week. It seemed like a rather grim future but Sasuke was worth it.

“I thought about calling Sakura,” the man confessed as he was taking off his shoes. “The wedding rehearsal was supposed to take place  _tomorrow_ ,” he grunted.

“Yeah, she's probably not happy about it all, like, you know, she was supposed to have her dream wedding and she got a huge scandal instead—”

“You're not helping,” Sasuke barked at him.

“It's not your fault,” Naruto replied and shrugged his shoulders, mostly for show. Sakura perhaps didn't have  _every_ right to be mad at Sasuke but Sasuke also  _was_ a little bit guilty. He'd agreed to that wedding. The man merely huffed in reply, brushing his bangs away from his face, and straightening up again. He moved on to taking off his tie now, and Naruto discovered he maybe had yet another fetish. It wasn’t a good sign.

“I'll call her,” Sasuke announced, unbuttoning his sleeves and rolling them up.

“Do you want me to stay or go?” Naruto asked, only now realizing he’s been shamelessly ogling the other man for the last few minutes. He turned his head away, trying to find  _anything_  he'd find at least half as interesting. There was nothing.

“You can stay,” Sasuke answered. Now he was opening the first two buttons of his shirt. Naruto still had no idea why he was considering it  _this_  interesting. He's already seen men strip. Countless times. Some of them were capable of doing the human flag. Naruto was quite certain that Sasuke wouldn't be able to do it. Naruto had been able to do that at one point in his life but he looked like he was struggling anyway, and it just wasn’t worth getting this ripped. Some guys were able to pull that off and make it look absolutely effortless. Girls were able to make it look pretty too. Naruto’s never seen Sasuke actually do any exercises but he didn’t make an impression of someone, who'd care about how he looked like while doing them. “What is it?” Sasuke asked, slightly tilting his head and looking as if he was about to fight Naruto for his honor but right now was waiting to be offended.

“Could you lift me?” the blonde blurted out. Sasuke narrowed his eyes, as if searching for a deeper meaning. Then he must've gotten impatient with it because he just frowned, shrugged his shoulders and gave Naruto a slow nod.

“Probably,” he replied. “What does it have to do with anything?”

“Well, do it then,” Naruto taunted the other man, kind of hoping he was going to be so surprised by the request that he'd just go with it.

“Right now?” the man asked. Naruto nodded. “ _Why_ ,” Sasuke said, and it sounded more like a complaint than a question.

“I just want to see how you'll do it,” Naruto whined.

“Is there a wrong way to do it?” Sasuke mumbled out, looking mostly confused. The blonde shook his head. Sasuke shook his head too but he appeared far less excited, and mostly tired. He approached Naruto, leaned forward, went into a little squat, and when his head was on the same height as Naruto’s ass, he pushed the blonde over his back, grabbed one of Naruto's arm, and draped him over his shoulders as if he just hunted a deer and now had to carry it to his camp or wherever else the hunters were taking their prey. And then he straightened up. He didn’t really make any sound, and as far as Naruto could tell, he also wasn't frowning. “What now?” Sasuke sighed.

“I meant it more how you'd lift weights at gym,” the blonde huffed, feeling mostly trapped and uncomfortable.

“I'm not a circus animal,” Sasuke muttered.

“C'mon,” Naruto pleaded. “I believe in you,” he added to cheer for Sasuke but, apparently, Sasuke didn't like being cheered for. He made a clearly annoyed sound. Like a groan but worse.

“It's  _stupid_ ,” the man complained. He was still standing with Naruto draped over his shoulders. “And you're heavy,” he added.

“So you can't do it,” Naruto replied with an over the top sigh.

“Is there  _any_ point to doing it?” Sasuke questioned.

“It's okay if you can't,” the blonde replied.

“I hate you,” Sasuke muttered. He moved one of his hands under Naruto's armpit, and the other on his hip. Then he let out a massive sigh, and slowly lifted Naruto until his arms were pretty much straight. The said arms were a little shaky but Sasuke still looked mostly annoyed, and not as if he had to hold a person over his head.

“It hurts,” the blonde complained, simultaneously straightening his form because lifting a limp body was mostly a pain in the ass.

“I don't care,” Sasuke replied. “Is this  _satisfactory_  or do I have to juggle now too?”

“I know you can't juggle,” Naruto huffed. He was replied with yet another groan. “Juggling isn't so easy, you know—”

“I really don't care,” Sasuke interrupted him, lowering Naruto on his shoulders. “Are you satisfied or do I have to do more stupid things?”

“Could you lift me if I was doing a handstand on your hands—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke barked at him, and pretty much threw him on the couch. Naruto was half expecting a follow-up with a body slam but no, Sasuke was just standing there, straightening a crease on his shirt. “What was the point of all this?” he asked.

“I've told you, I wanted to see how you'd do it,” Naruto answered, turning on his back. “I kind of expected you to go all strongman, huff and puff, and all that shit,” he clarified.

“I don’t have a body for that,” Sasuke pointed out with a roll of his eyes. He gave a quick rub to his shoulders, and moved his arms around in their sockets. Naruto raised an eyebrow. “You're stupid,” Sasuke decided, pushing Naruto towards the back of the couch, and sitting on the freshly freed space. And then he leaned backwards, crushing Naruto's mid section in the process, and not caring about it. “So what exactly did it change?” Sasuke questioned. “Do you feel closer to me now that you know I can lift you without making dumb noises?”

“A little bit,” the blonde admitted.

“Are  _you_ going to show me a magic trick?” Sasuke inquired in a bored voice.

“I could but I'm wearing tight jeans,” Naruto retorted.

“If only there was a way to get you out of them,” the man mocked him. The blonde breathed out through his nose and pushed his hand between Sasuke's back and the couch. After a few long moments of struggle he managed to unbutton his pants. And then unzip them. Sasuke didn’t even budge, merely observing Naruto’s face.

“Maybe you want to give me a hand,” Naruto suggested. Sasuke gave him a disappointed look and moved to help the blonde out of his pants. And then he straightened them up, folded them and put them on the coffee table. Naruto took in a deep breath, and moved his left leg until his foot was behind his head, and he could touch his shin with his lips.

“ _Amazing_ ,” Sasuke commented. He clearly wasn’t amazed.

“For fuck's sake, Sasuke, I'm flexible enough to  suck myself off, it  _is_  a little amazing,” Naruto whined.

“ _Why_  would you want to suck yourself off?” the man questioned.

“It feels  _nice_ ,” the blonde mumbled out.

“You've said you forgot how cocks taste like, so you're either not doing it or you're giving yourself a head while wearing a condom, and that doesn't make too much sense,” Sasuke pointed out in a flat voice. Unfortunately, he did have a point. He didn't need to know that though.

“You're just jealous,” Naruto barked.

“Yes, I've always dreamed of giving myself a blowjob,” Sasuke sighed.

“You're saying that because nobody's ever given you a head,” the blonde blurted out. Sasuke gave him a pointed look. Naruto suddenly remembered he's told Sasuke he wasn't going to give him a head. And now it was just awkward. “You were supposed to call Sakura,” he reminded the man to change the subject.

“Yes, I  _was_ ,” Sasuke agreed. He once again crushed Naruto's body as he leaned backwards, only this time there was a phone pressed against his ear. “Don't say anything,” Sasuke suddenly instructed the blonde. Naruto slowly nodded. Then there was silence, and he could hear only the beeping of Sasuke's phone. “Hi, Sakura,” the man greeted his not-so-ex-fiancée. The other person didn't say anything. “Are you there?” Sasuke asked.

Then there was a very quiet sound. Naruto recognized the voice as Sakura’s, but he had no idea what the woman said.

“I hope you know that I didn't cause the leak,” Sasuke stated. He was replied with silence. Naruto probably would've started talking again but Sasuke just waited, and Sakura said something again. “Have you told the police about that flash drive?”

“No.”

This time Naruto heard her loud and clear. She sounded broken, and he felt sorry for her.

“…are you going to tell them about it?” Sasuke questioned.

“Are you going to marry me?” Sakura replied with a question of her own.

“Telling the police about the flash drive is in your interest too,” Sasuke argued in a calm voice, his fingers almost painfully biting into Naruto's shoulder. “This way it'll be easier to get Gaara convicted—”

“Are you going to marry me?” Sakura interrupted him.

“'…it’s not something I want to discuss through a phone,” Sasuke said.

“ _Are you going to marry me_?” the woman repeated the question.

“'…I'm not,” Sasuke confessed.

“I don’t care if you're gay,” Sakura blurted out. Naruto could swear she was already crying. She was choking on her words, and it was difficult to understand her. “Please, if you've ever felt  _anything_  towards me,  _don't_  do it to me—”

“I can't marry you,” Sasuke protested.

“You can even cheat on me, and I won't tell anybody, just please—”

“ _No_ ,” Sasuke interrupted her.

Then she broke into another flood of jumbled up words, and Naruto wasn't able to decipher even a single one. He hoped Sasuke was doing better. He himself was feeling uncomfortable, and he could barely imagine how unpleasant the whole situation was to Sasuke and Sakura. Well, especially to Sakura. Sasuke had been expecting a shitty marriage but Sakura had been certain everything was going to be fairy tale perfect. And now it not only wasn’t perfect but she's been refused the leftovers. It had to be both painful and humiliating.

“I won't marry you,” Sasuke stated in a quiet voice. He sounded calm and collected but judging by how hard his fingers were digging into Naruto's flesh, he was anything but calm and collected. The blonde had no idea what he could do to relieve him. Sasuke didn’t want him to talk, and he didn't like being comforted. Perhaps all Naruto could do was silently suffering through the discomfort and pain. He's already accepted that Sasuke’s iron grip was probably going to leave a bruise, especially since it didn't seem like Sasuke was aware of doing it. “I can't live like this,” the man said. “And neither can you.”

“I  _can,_ ” Sakura sobbed. Sasuke breathed in, his back muscles tense.

“You can't,” he insisted. “I'm sorry.”

“If you'll marry me, I'll—”

“I won't marry you,” Sasuke repeated. Then the woman stopped talking altogether, she was only crying. “We can talk in person after you'll feel better,” Sasuke offered. “If you want,” he added after a longer while of silence interrupted only by Sakura's sobbing and gasping for breath. Then Sasuke waited. And waited. And waited. “Call me later if you want,” the man eventually said. Still nothing. Now he probably knew how Naruto felt like whenever he was clamming up. “I'm going to hang up on you,” Sasuke informed Sakura. He waited a few seconds for a reaction, and, since he didn't get one, he hung up on the woman. And then he threw his phone on the floor, and crushed Naruto even harder into the couch.

“I can't really breathe like this,” the blonde coughed. Sasuke did shift but he didn't look too happy about having to move.

“I didn’t say you could talk,” the man sighed, rubbing his face as if he's just used some amazing exfoliating product, and had to feel how  _soft_ his skin was. Except it wasn’t very soft. These last few days Sasuke’s had a shitty diet, and it  _was_ showing. His face had now a purplish tint to it. “Fuck, sorry,” he mumbled out, relaxing his grip on Naruto’s shoulder. He pulled the blonde's t-shirt away, and inspected the skin underneath. “You should've said something,” he scolded Naruto.

“You've  _just_  complained that you didn’t let me talk, and I could barely—”

“It was a  _joke_ ,” Sasuke insisted. “I don’t want you to hurt, I'm not a psycho,” he complained.

“It didn't hurt too much,” Naruto assured him. Sasuke gave him a doubtful look but apparently decided to pretend he bought it. “How do you feel?”

“Worse,” the man barked. “It achieved nothing.”

“At least she knows what's her standing with you now,” Naruto argued. “And you're officially single.”

“I had no idea I was single,” Sasuke muttered.

“ _Officially_ ,” the blonde repeated. The other man scoffed at him. “You've said yourself that—”

“My father already knows,” Sasuke reminded him. “I don’t really care anymore.”

“Wow, I'm  _moved_ ,” Naruto chirped. “Sakura  _was_ right, you  _are_ a hopeless romantic—”

“I'm not in the mood right now, Naruto,” Sasuke sighed.

“Alright,” the blonde relented, fully lying on his side, and wrapping himself around Sasuke. His legs felt kind of cold but it wasn’t that kind of cold he's had to suffer these last few days. It was the usual kind of cold, and it was almost  _pleasant_. “So what do you want to do?”

“Nothing,” Sasuke answered. “Are Karin and your lawyer supposed to come here today too?”

“Nah, Karin's only supposed to call me,” Naruto replied. “So right now we wait,” he said. “We can read through those papers together if you want—”

“I've already done it,” Sasuke grumbled. “They're solid, there wasn't anything I could add.”

“You're better at law stuff than I am, so I'll just take your word for it,” Naruto murmured. “Do you want to do nothing  _here_  or—”

“Can't you just stay put for a few minutes?” Sasuke complained.

“I can,” Naruto grunted.

“ _Good_ ,” Sasuke sighed, and made himself a little more comfortable. They stayed like that long enough for Naruto to almost doze off. “Can  _you_  lift  _me_?” Sasuke asked out of the blue in a sleepy voice.

“Probably,” Naruto yawned. “Not the way you did, though,” he added.

“So what do you have to offer?” Sasuke inquired.

“Bridal style,” the blonde chuckled. “Piggyback,” he murmured. “And if you can do a proper handstand, I could probably lift you while lying down,” he concluded.

“Boring,” Sasuke decided.

“It’s hard to gain strength without building too many muscles, you know,” Naruto whined. “I'm still much stronger than I look, so—”

“Fine,” Sasuke interrupted him. “I  _can_ do a proper handstand. Let's do it.”

“We can't do it on the couch,” Naruto pointed out.

“Then let's move to the floor,” Sasuke replied, getting up from the couch, pushing the coffee table under the wall and making place for them. Naruto nodded and followed him, stretching his arms. Before he could say anything, Sasuke tipped his body forward and did a handstand, his form straight but a little shaky. “Good enough for you?” the man asked.

“I just hope you won't fall down on me,” Naruto replied. “Stand up normally, I want to see how heavy you are,” he said. Sasuke swiftly landed on his feet. Naruto approached him, squatted a little, wrapped his arms around the other man's ass, and lifted him. “Should work,” he decided, his face pressed to Sasuke’s stomach. He let go of the man, and lied down on the floor, assuming the position, and lifting his forearms to make stands for Sasuke. “Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah, just let me take off my shirt,” the man replied. And then there was some rustling, and Naruto had to remind himself he's already seen Sasuke shirtless. The first day he met him. Three weeks ago. And then at his mom's house when Sasuke was wiping off their cum with his sleeping—

Naruto closed his eyes, trying to think about whatever else. Like jonquils. And Shino. And that neither of them bought any milk, so now—

“Ready?” Sasuke asked, his feet close to Naruto’s head, his body leaned forward, and Naruto thanked gods that everyone looked awkward standing like that. He nodded, and gestured towards his hands. “Do I go from this side or from the other?”

“This side is good,” the blonde blurted out. “Don't make too many sudden moves, and say when you want to get down,” he said. Sasuke nodded, and put his hands into Naruto’s.

“I have no idea how to make it less sudden,” Sasuke confessed after a longer while of just standing there.

“Just do a handstand,” Naruto replied. Sasuke nodded, and tipped his body forward. He managed to last an entire second before he lost his balance and almost fell down. Luckily for both of them, Naruto managed to stop him from falling by supporting Sasuke’s lower back with his foot. And Sasuke managed to regain his balance. Somewhat. “I'm not lifting you until you can stand completely still,” Naruto informed the man. Sasuke groaned and after a few seconds was standing straight again. “Alright, ready? Try to balance yourself or else you'll fall—”

“I  _know_ ,” Sasuke hurried him.

“Okay, try to not kill us both,” Naruto hissed, and slowly, gradually straightened his arms, careful to give Sasuke enough time to adapt. It went smoother than he's expected. And now Sasuke’s hair wasn't tickling his nose anymore, so it was kind of more comfortable than before. Even though Sasuke's arms were shaky and looked as if they were about to give in under the weight. And their hands were getting sweaty. “Let's stop here, okay?”

“Yeah,” Sasuke breathed out, gently moving his legs to land on his feet. The pressure was slowly lifting off Naruto’s shoulders. “We probably should've warmed up,” Sasuke commented when he was standing normally again.

“Probably,” Naruto agreed. His arm muscles did feel as if they were burning. The other man didn't look too bothered by being half naked. Naruto wondered if Sasuke perhaps wasn't right about him freaking out. He himself was wearing only a t-shirt and underwear, and it was… fine. Maybe because it wasn’t sexual, it was just them fooling around. So it was  _safe_. He kind of hoped Sasuke wasn’t doing it on purpose because it was kind of embarrassing. It was supposed to be the other way around.

“I'm going to take a shower,” Sasuke announced. Naruto nodded, and got up from the floor. “You should take one too,” the man continued. “Do you want to—”

“ _Yes, I can join you_ ,” Naruto blurted out.

“I meant to ask if you wanted to go first,” Sasuke mumbled.

“ _Oh_ ,” Naruto breathed out. He felt as if he was five years old again. And caught stealing candies even though his mom told him he couldn't have anymore. “Now this is awkward,” he said with a nervous laugh.

“You  _can_  join me,” Sasuke offered with a little shrug. “Just don’t make it weird,” he whined.

“ _Don't make it weird_ ,” Naruto repeated in a mocking voice. “I'm the king and queen of making things  _weird_ —”

“Don't talk,” Sasuke sighed. “Unless you want to say  _stop_ ,” he added. The blonde silently nodded, and followed the other man into the bathroom. “It’s only a  _shower_ ,” Sasuke announced. “Nothing more. So chill out,” he ordered. 

Naruto rolled his eyes at him, and took off his t-shirt. He almost threw it on the floor but ended up  _folding it_. Sasuke followed suit, unbuckling his belt and unbuttoning his pants. Then he took off his socks instead of unzipping his pants. And he didn't leave the socks all rolled up, no, he actually made sure they were nice and flat before he put them on Naruto's folded t-shirt. The blonde had a wild urge to comment on it because it was ridiculous but, since he couldn't, he did the same thing to his socks, trying to overdo it, so Sasuke knew he was being ridiculous. It didn't seem to work. Apparently it was normal now. Sasuke put his hand on his zipper, and carefully studied Naruto’s face, as if was waiting for a permission to take off his pants. Even though Naruto's taken off his a good few minutes earlier. The blonde made a face at the other man, and then he  _finally_ pulled his pants down. And this was the part of Sasuke Naruto hasn't seen yet. He had nice legs. And hips. And feet. He was generally good-looking, and there was no helping it. Naruto hooked his thumb on the hem of his boxers, uncertain whether he should take them off now or wait, or if they were going to compare cock sizes since the last time Sasuke had jerked them off it was dark, and Naruto still hasn't really  _seen_ Sasuke's cock, and he generally had no idea what the etiquette was.

As if he hasn’t had sex before. Or seen a cock before. And maybe it wasn't just the fact that Sasuke was a special case because, well, yes, Sasuke  _was_ a special case but the one acting all jumpy and weird was  _him_. And now it was Sasuke acting as if Naruto was a panicked horse.

He didn't have a horse-sized dick though. Perhaps that would've helped a little. Or maybe not.

“Well?” Sasuke whispered, and it sounded mostly as if he was hurrying Naruto to move, so he did. He pulled his boxers down,  _folded them_ , and glared at Sasuke, whose eyes remained at his eye level through the whole ordeal.

At least now Naruto knew what he was supposed to do. He simply had to avoid  _staring_. This much was completely doable. It was like changing clothes when he had been still working with the guys, and there were stray dicks everywhere, and nobody really cared. Although Shino's was stupidly huge. And yet Naruto would bet almost everything he owned that Shino was touching it only when he had to wash himself.

Then it was Sasuke’s turn to take off his boxers, and Naruto fixed his eyes on some point behind Sasuke's head, and there wasn't really too much to look at, it was only tiles, and they were boring as fuck.

He jerked up when he heard Sasuke turn on the water and felt the other man's warm hand around his wrist, pulling him into the cabin. Soon he had to close his eyes because there was lukewarm water on his face and in his mouth, his hair was drenched, and he could feel water spraying at him when it was hitting Sasuke’s body, and Naruto realized just how  _close_ they were right now.

“Do you even like taking showers with other people?” Sasuke asked him in a rather bored voice. Naruto shrugged his shoulders. “It feels rather crowded in here,” the man commented. The water was now warmer but the temperature was still lower than what Naruto would’ve set it to. Because he liked it boiling hot. He was guessing Sasuke wouldn't appreciate it, so he settled for a barely warm one. He felt Sasuke's fingers combing through his hair, as if the man was making sure they were properly drenched and then yes, he poured something cold on Naruto's head and started massaging his scalp. It felt nice even when the foam was dripping down his forehead and cheeks. “I actually like your hair,” Sasuke confessed out of the blue.

Naruto kind of wished he could say that he actually liked Sasuke's hair too. He had made fun of them earlier, and that was just stupid. Yes, okay, Sasuke's haircut  _was_ kind of weird but Naruto kind of adored how weird it was. He wasn’t even able to imagine the man in any other, and he didn't want to.

On the other hand, he enjoyed staying silent too. And it was even better when he actually wanted to talk. He let out a small gasp when Sasuke grabbed him by his shoulders and pulled him closer, probably to rinse his hair.

It was oddly relaxing.

He opened his eyes when the foam was completely gone. Sasuke was standing just a few inches away from him, looking mostly concerned. Naruto gave him a big smile, and cupped his face to pull him closer, close enough for a kiss. He didn’t close the distance though. Sasuke did. His wet lips pressed against Naruto’s, maybe even a little too hard, crushing them and making a shiver go through his body. It felt good and  _right_.

Their bodies weren't however pressed against each other. It was only their faces, they were both awkwardly leaned forward, Naruto could feel the cold tiles of the shower wall on his ass, he wished Sasuke and he were wherever else. Perhaps less naked too because then it would've been easier to embrace the man without making it unnecessarily weird.

Their lips made a soft popping noise when Sasuke broke the kiss and pulled his face away from Naruto’s. Not far, he still lingered close, almost close enough that their eyelashes would be able to scrape against the other’s cheeks.

“I fell for you too,” Sasuke confessed in a whisper, his voice oddly calm and confident, his words making Naruto's throat tighten. “Probably days before you fell for me,” the man continued. “ _This_  is why I don't regret meeting you,” he concluded, his hand moving onto the blonde's cheek and cupping it, perhaps a little too rough for comfort but nevertheless gently.

Naruto felt as if something exploded in his chest, just below his collarbone, and he wasn't certain whether the specks, which he could swear were right now clinging to his internal organs, were confetti or tiny pieces of his heart.

He could still feel  _it_ —or its remnants—pounding against his ribcage as if it was a doomsday clock, and as if it was about to hit midnight.

Sasuke's breath felt hot on his skin.

Much hotter than the water that was still relentlessly pouring down on them.

Naruto opened his mouth but then he remembered he was supposed to stay silent. He closed his mouth again. He half-expected Sasuke to tell him to talk again, to say something, but no, the man merely removed his hand from Naruto's cheek and stepped even further away. He grabbed a shower gel, squeezed some on his hand—and it had an almost unhealthy blue glow—and then he handed the gel to Naruto as if there wasn’t anything more that could be said. The blonde mindlessly accepted the bottle. To be honest, if Sasuke right now turned into a demon and handed Naruto a contract on his soul, Naruto would've accepted it too.

“I've been… attracted to you ever since that  _stag night_ ,” Sasuke murmured, scrubbing his body clean using only his hand. It must’ve felt slick under his fingers. There was some foam on his neck and right shoulder, and chest, and Naruto still hasn't dared to look lower than that. “I fell for you a few days later,” the man stated. “So it took you maybe a week,” he said and let out a chuckle, which sounded mostly self-deprecating. “It’s never happened this fast before for me. And it's never felt this intense. I haven't said anything earlier because it was the last thing you needed,” he explained, stepping forward but only to rinse his body. “I do consider a possibility that it's the last thing you need right now too. I understand if you want to stop,” Sasuke whispered. “I can disappear from your life or stay and help you out. It all depends on what you need,” he concluded.

Naruto wasn't really able to do anything apart from staring at Sasuke. He wasn’t expecting to hear any of this, and it all sounded foreign, like it had no right to be true because if it  _was_ true, then Naruto was to Sasuke something  _more_ , he wasn't there only to satisfy Sasuke's curiosity, and there was more to it than just shitty circumstances and easy access.

He swallowed a sob bubbling in his gut and took one step forward, closing the distance between Sasuke and him. The man neither moved away nor even got startled because of the sudden movement, so Naruto got  _closer_ , wrapping his arms around Sasuke's back, the shower gel bottle falling down, completely forgotten, and Naruto pulled Sasuke in until their bodies were tightly pressed against each other, and only now the blonde could feel how nervous the other man's been this whole time. His muscles were tense, his heart was beating in an erratic rhythm, his hands, which eventually found their way on Naruto's back, were shaky and  _searching_ , as if Sasuke was drowning or falling and desperately trying to grab a rope.

And so Naruto was there for him, ready to act as his rope and stop the fall, steady him, help him stay afloat. He ignored how deep Sasuke's fingers were trying to push into his body, acting as if Naruto was coated in a thick layer of jelly, and Sasuke had to peel it all off to get to the actual skin and flesh, and bones.

“Speak to me,” Sasuke pleaded, his words hitting so hard against Naruto’s shoulder that the blonde could swear they were now tattooed on his skin.

“I'm here,” Naruto assured the man even though it had to be obvious. They were both  _there_ , under that stupid stream of water, so close that Naruto could feel Sasuke's blood traveling through his veins, both hopelessly naked, and yet it felt as if they were miles away from each other and had to keep on running just to not let the distance grow any longer. “And I'll be here for you as long, as you'll want me,” Naruto added in a feverish murmur, wishing they could get even closer, their ribcages intertwined with each other, their veins tangled up so thoroughly that there was no untying the knot, it could be only cut, and Naruto wasn't going to let anyone do so. He got a little distracted when he heard Sasuke say a soft  _sorry_ , and then the man tried to pull away. “What's wrong?” Naruto asked, letting Sasuke move so far away, that the only points of contact were the blonde's fingertips brushing against Sasuke's arm. The man pointed down, towards his crotch. Naruto finally dared to look  _down_ , to try and see what was happening. “It's fine,” he said. He didn't really care. He pulled Sasuke close again, letting the man almost fall into him. Naruto's back rested against the slick, tiled wall. It was difficult to keep them from falling down. “Let's move it to the bedroom,” Naruto suggested.

“I still need to wash my hair,” Sasuke murmured into his neck. The blonde let out a small chuckle, and grabbed a shampoo bottle to squeeze some on his hand. He gently pushed his fingers into the black strands and massaged Sasuke's scalp. It wasn’t too easy to do with just one hand but he needed the other to keep Sasuke straight. “I think you might be bigger than me,” the man said, sounding half sleepy and relaxed, half disappointed. Naruto looked down. Now they were both hard. He wasn't very horny, though.

“You're taller than me,” he offered, making sure Sasuke's hair was completely covered in foam.

“By less than an inch,” Sasuke pointed out.

“At least now I know where’s my missing inch,” the blonde chirped.

“Rude,” the man commented, planting a soft kiss on Naruto's collarbone. “And it’s  _maybe_ half an inch. I'm starting to miss the time when you weren't talking,” he complained. He closed his mouth when Naruto gently pushed him away to rinse his hair. After almost a minute the water was clear. “And now you need to wash your body,” Sasuke reminded him. The blonde nodded. The shower gel was lying in the shower tub, and there was no way for him to get it. He wanted to excuse himself, so he could take it but the man was already leaning forward, and at one point his face was on the same height as Naruto's cock. The said cock twitched in excitement. It was embarrassing but it didn't seem as if it was bothering Sasuke. Perhaps he hasn't noticed anything. Naruto surely hoped so. His muscles tensed when he felt Sasuke's warm hands rubbing the gel into his arms. “It's really crowded in here,” Sasuke mused, his voice quiet and calm.

“Yeah,” the blonde mumbled out, desperately trying to control his breathing. He hadn't been too aroused then but  _now_  it was a completely different story. He barely managed to stifle a moan when Sasuke's hands moved onto his abdomen. The blonde slightly spread his legs apart, acting out mostly on his instinct. He heavily exhaled when Sasuke's fingertips brushed against the upper side of his cock.

“Do you want me to continue?” Sasuke inquired. Naruto frantically nodded his head. The fingers slowly moved down, lightly wrapping around his shaft. “Perhaps we really should move it to the bedroom,” he whispered.

“Are you certain that—”

“Don’t talk unless you want to say  _stop,_ ” Sasuke ordered him. Naruto blinked and gulped. Sasuke rolled his eyes. “What is it?” he asked.

“It’s just that I don’t want to fuck this up,” the blonde signed.

“You’re freaking out again,” the man complained. “You were the first one to suggest moving it to the bedroom,” he pointed out. He let go of Naruto’s cock. “So  _why_ are you freaking out right now?”

“You’ve wanted it to be only a shower, and now—”

“I wanted it to be only a shower because I assumed this is what _you_ wanted,” he explained. “But then I thought you’d be fine with it being more than just a shower. Turns out I was wrong, sorry,” Sasuke whispered, raising his hands and showing Naruto open palms.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto mumbled out. 

“Don’t be sorry,” the man protested. “We have plenty of time,” he assured the blonde. “It’s no longer limited,” he whispered. “And if you want, we can just stop trying altogether because sex isn’t exactly a must have for me,” he added.

“It sounds kind of ridiculous when we’re both stark naked in a shower, especially since we’re still hard,” Naruto argued. Sasuke merely shrugged his shoulders.

“I’ve never said I don’t  _want_ it. I’ve said I can live without it,” he clarified, stretching his back and straightening his arms, letting the water rinse the foam away from his fingers. “You’re worth it,” he stated as if he was explaining something stupidly basic to a child. “And so, if this is what you want, a lack of sex isn’t really something I’d regret,” he confessed.

“I want it,” the blonde mumbled out. “You have no idea how much I want it.”

“In this case we’ll just keep on trying,” Sasuke replied. “Just promise me that you won’t force yourself to do something against yourself,” he demanded.

“Sure,” Naruto agreed. “Promise me the same.”

“I won’t do anything against myself,” Sasuke breathed out. “And you  _won’t_  fuck this up. Let’s be real here, we both have lots of reasons to break up this… whatever you want to call it,” he sighed. “I doubt you need a new guy in your life right now, and in my case… I  _know_  that my father won’t be happy. Not to mention that Gaara is after me only because he wants you. Your life would’ve been easier without me, and the same is true for me,” the man listed. “I’ve already decided that it’s worth it. I’d much rather keep you company when you’re having a shitty day than… do anything else with other people, really,” Sasuke whispered.

“Ever since I told you I tear up easily, you have no mercy,” Naruto chuckled and took a deep breath to calm himself down.

“Wuss,” Sasuke commented in a soft tone, his hands landing on Naruto’s forearms, and pulling the blonde closer to plant a barely-a-kiss on his cheek. Naruto let out a small gasp, and grabbed Sasuke by his hips to get him even closer. Sasuke made an appreciative noise, and moved his lips to brush them against Naruto’s. The blonde slowly moved his hand towards Sasuke’s crotch, combing his fingers through some rather sparse pubic hair. He hasn’t really touched Sasuke in this way before, so far it’s been him, who was being touched. Naruto gently pushed his fingers towards Sasuke’s cock. It wasn’t fully hard yet, it was  _maybe_  semi-erect, and while it looked kind of hard, it felt just chubbed up, as swollen, as most clits would get. For some inexplicable reason it was kind of hot. Naruto wrapped his hand around the shaft, and pumped it, focusing on how Sasuke’s cock was filling out in his hand until it was finally fully hard. “What now?”

“Bedroom?” Naruto proposed. Sasuke nodded and grabbed a shower wiper. “Are you kidding me?!” the blonde whined.

“Alright, we’ll do it later,” Sasuke relented.

“You’re  _insane_ ,” the blonde groaned, throwing the shower doors open, grabbing Sasuke’s wrist and pulling the man  _out_. He decided to just forget about towels and enjoy how seeping wet they both were. They were leaving a wet trail as they moved towards the bedroom. “I’m kind of amazed you’re not already on your knees,” Naruto commented.

“I  _can_  get on my knees if you want me to,” Sasuke offered in a low, audibly annoyed voice.

“I can’t wait,” the blonde huffed. He almost tripped when Sasuke suddenly decided to not budge. Naruto jerked up when the other man grasped his hand, and pretty much forced him to stand with his back pressed against a wall. And then Sasuke did fall to his knees. Naruto had expected him to start wiping the floor dry but then Sasuke’s mouth got almost dangerously close to the head of Naruto’s cock. The blonde opened his mouth to say that it wasn’t what he’s had in mind but eventually decided to just keep it shut.

“All you have to do is  _ask_ ,” Sasuke informed him, his lips  _almost_ brushing against the blonde’s throbbing shaft, his breath caressing the thin skin. It was a torture. “You’re already leaking,” the man noticed, oddly pleased with himself. 

“On the bed,” Naruto blurted out.

“Fine,” the man murmured, every letter wrapping itself around Naruto’s cock as if they wanted to strangle it. Sasuke got up, placing one of his hands on Naruto’s hip, and then tracing a trail leading up to his chest. The blonde grabbed the said hand and pulled the other man into the bedroom. When they were finally there, he pretty much fell down on the bed when Sasuke pushed him forward. The man climbed over him, his head lingering on the height of Naruto’s abdomen. “And now  _ask_ ,” he ordered.

“…please,” Naruto pleaded. His breath hitched up when he felt hot air around the head of his cock. Sasuke still hasn’t touched him, not really, he was only teasing, and it was painfully perfect. The tip of Naruto’s cock, technically speaking, was inside Sasuke’s mouth. But it wasn’t  _really_ there. 

“You need to be more specific,” the man whispered in a low, raspy voice. It sounded as if he could suck Naruto’s spinal cord out through his urethra. Sasuke’s lips brushed a few times against the blonde’s glans while he was talking. At least Naruto thought they did. He wasn’t really certain. He knew he  _wanted_ them to. 

“…make me cum, please,” he breathed out. He gasped when he felt Sasuke’s hot lips wrapping around his length, and then there was the wet orifice of the mouth closing around him, and a soft tongue, and teeth unpleasantly scraping against the skin of his cock. Then Sasuke took him deeper, so deep that his cold from the water hair touched Naruto’s stomach. A shiver went right through him. The contrast was at the same time awful and amazing. “Not so deep,” the blonde murmured when he heard Sasuke gag a little. It wasn’t that he didn’t  _like_ it deep because sometimes he did. He let out a shaky breath when he felt hot saliva running down his shaft and balls.

It was one of the worst blowjobs he’s ever gotten.

He hoped it was never going to end.

His fingers wormed themselves into the black mop of hair. He didn’t mean to guide the man, he only wanted to show some affection and besides, he  _needed_  to touch Sasuke. Just to feel that the man was close. His presence was soothing, almost uncannily soothing, it was probably unnatural, it had to be. They knew each other just for a few weeks, it made  _no_  sense how close he felt to Sasuke. As if Sasuke was somehow his goddamn destiny.

Perhaps this was the reason why Naruto was so afraid of losing him. Because even if Sasuke  _was_  his destiny, there was no telling if he was Sasuke's too.

The blonde arched his back when Sasuke’s teeth scraped against his cock even harder than before. The man was using only his mouth, and it seemed he wasn't able to take all of Naruto's cock inside. His jaw was too tense, his cheeks weren't hollowed out, his tongue felt like some foreign object Sasuke forgot to spit out. And he was breathing through his nose. Loudly.

Naruto wasn’t able to stop himself from laughing even after Sasuke sent him a death glare.

“Sorry,” the blonde snorted, patting Sasuke's head as if the man was a dog. “You're doing great—”

“You're terrible at lying,” Sasuke gritted through his teeth. Luckily for Naruto, Sasuke  _had_  raised his head before doing so. “If you have something to tell me, go ahead,” he muttered. It sounded mostly like a threat, so Naruto chose to stay silent. “ _Talk_ ,” the man growled.

“Maybe we could just switch for a moment,” Naruto blurted out.

“ _Switch_ ,” Sasuke repeated in a dead voice, looking like a serial killer asked about his opinion on violence.

“Yeah, switch,” the blonde grumbled. “If you want. No pressure. We can just continue like this if you—”

“I thought you didn't  _want_  to switch,” Sasuke interrupted him, still looking all offended and a little upset.

“I thought so too,” Naruto admitted. “But you're more amusing than you're intimidating, so—”

“I hate you,” Sasuke whispered into Naruto's stomach, his face pretty much glued to it, his hands linked on the top of his head. The blonde smiled at the view, and combed the still wet black hair with his fingers.

“And I'm feeling the exact opposite right now,” he confessed in a soft voice.

“Fuck you.”

“Probably not today,” Naruto informed the man, who unlinked his hands and pinched the blonde's sides. Naruto gently pulled on his cheek. “So how is it gonna be, Sasuke?” he asked. The man let out an incomprehensible grunt. “Well?”

“ _Fine_ ,” Sasuke barked, sounding mostly exasperated. Then he raised himself on his elbows and pretty much threw himself on the bed, lifelessly falling on the mattress. Naruto turned on his side, gave Sasuke a quick peck on his cheek, got on all fours and positioned himself between Sasuke's legs. The man's thighs were pressed tight against each other, so Naruto was awkwardly kneeling between Sasuke’s calves. He placed his hands on the man's knees.

“Spread your legs,” he instructed. It seemed superfluous and obvious but perhaps it wasn't. “Or we can sto—”

“If you'll give me  _any_ reasons to complain, I  _will_ complain,” Sasuke interrupted him, his legs spread apart, draped on Naruto's like overcooked noodles.

“Of course,” the blonde snorted, wrapping his hand around Sasuke's cock, and slowly stroking it. His grip was lighter than usually because it seemed that Sasuke was being way more gentle with himself than most men Naruto's met were.

“Tighter,” Sasuke hissed. He sounded oddly satisfied. 

The blonde obeyed, gradually tightening his grip until Sasuke's made a short desperate noise that he clearly didn't mean to make. Naruto lowered his head and took Sasuke's cock into his mouth, making sure to cushion his teeth with his lips and pushing his tongue against the underside of Sasuke's shaft. The blonde was slowly taking more and more of the cock into his mouth, slowly peeling his fingers off one by one until eventually his hand moved on Sasuke's balls, and his nose was buried in Sasuke's pubic hair. He cocked his eye open at the man, who was watching him like a bird of prey would a mouse. The black eyes looked hungry, desperately hungry. Two voids ready to devour him. Naruto made an appreciative noise, hollowed out his cheeks, and started bobbing his head up and down, simultaneously gently tugging on Sasuke's balls with his hand, so the skin on Sasuke’s cock would tighten. The man actually bucked his hips forward and arched his back a little. His breathing got heavier. He wasn’t really  _moaning_ , it sounded more as if he struggled to catch a breath and had to constantly gasp or else he'd suffocate. His cock was throbbing in Naruto's mouth, smearing precum over the roof and back of the throat. The blonde could feel faint buzzing on his tongue whenever he pressed it harder against the underside of the cock.

“Fuck,” Sasuke breathed out.

“Mhm,” Naruto agreed, his lips parting with the cock with a soft  _plop_. He opened his mouth to catch a quick breath, and pressed Sasuke's length against his flat tongue. It was mostly for show but it  _worked_. Especially since the blonde was using his hand too. Sasuke's shaft was already smelling and tasting of arousal.

Naruto liked giving head.

But he'd never been finding it especially  _exciting_ , not in a sexual sense, there were instances where he'd remain completely limp throughout the whole ordeal.

And now it was exciting because Sasuke was slowly losing it, his breath hitching up, his cock twitching, his back arching and legs trembling. Naruto pretty much moaned when he realized it must've been not only Sasuke's first blowjob but also the first time someone was touching his cock  _like that_. It was his first time being pleasured by someone else than himself.

Naruto was tempted to stroke himself too but he fought the urge off. He needed to fully focus on Sasuke, and gods, Sasuke  _was_ making it worth it.

Naruto moved his hand under Sasuke's balls until he felt the man's prostate. He started to gently rub it with his thumb as he took Sasuke's cock into his mouth again, pumping it with his lips. His head was bobbing up and down faster now, and Naruto made sure to stare straight in Sasuke's eyes, his own half-lidded. Sasuke's legs tried to close on him but Naruto kept them apart.

“Cute,” he commented, letting the man's cock rest against his cheek.

“Fuck you,” Sasuke murmured in an airy voice. Naruto sent him a lazy smile, and shoved Sasuke's cock deep into his mouth, so deep that his eyes glossed over with tears. It wasn’t a perfect position for a deep throat, it definitely wasn’t, Naruto was struggling to keep his throat relaxed so he wouldn't gag. The blonde fucked his face with Sasuke's cock, feeling oddly satisfied when he felt a hand clawing into his hair, and heard Sasuke pretty much choke. Naruto could already taste Sasuke's precum in his mouth, it was a little salty and somewhat bitter, and he wanted  _more_. “Fuck,” Sasuke gasped, his hand suddenly pulling Naruto’s head up by his hair. The blonde panted as the other man started to spill his seed all over his face, thick ropes of cum hitting against his cheeks and lips. “Fuck, sorry,” Sasuke mumbled out. Naruto merely shook his head, and wrapped his lips around the still twitching cock to let the man finish in his mouth. And then he was finally done, so Naruto let the cock fall out, showed Sasuke his tongue, swallowed the cum, planted a small kiss on Sasuke's abdomen, wiped his face with sheet, and lifelessly plopped down on Sasuke, who still wasn’t saying anything. And then he wasn't saying anything for about two more minutes, so Naruto got impatient.

“How did you like it?” he asked.

“…you do have some talents,” the man admitted after a few more moments, his fingers gently massaging Naruto's scalp. “Best one I've ever had,” he snorted.

“At your service,” the blonde laughed back, feeling himself relax, his limbs getting heavier and less tense.

“What about you—”

“Shhh, don't ruin it,” Naruto whispered, waving his hand at the man. “Just enjoy it,” he suggested.

“I can't really enjoy it when you're—”

“I appreciate it but it's fine, seriously,” Naruto interrupted him. “Would you mind it if it was the other way around?” he asked.

“No,” Sasuke answered after a few seconds.

“Exactly,” Naruto yawned. Then there was silence. Blissful silence. They were both relaxed, and everything went well, and neither of them was freaking out, and it was all too perfect. It lasted about seven minutes or so.

Because then Sasuke got up to clean up the goddamn shower. And floor. And change sheets, so Naruto had to desert to the couch. And he wasn't even allowed to sit naked on it, no, he had to put something on his ass because otherwise it was  _unhygienic_.

The worst thing was that he didn't really mind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is officially the last bj scene i've ever written, fuck this shit, i might not even give another bj for the rest of my life because now i'm traumatized, i've been writing it for three weeks, who has time for this, why am i even writing smuts, someone kill me please


End file.
